Reunion Part II -

  Hellos, Good-byes

     By Otterlady (08/15/1999)

 

 

The group was quiet for a few moments after Starsky spoke.  Starsky played with a french fry on his plate, lost in memories.  The other three men, respectful of his emotions, simply waited for him to come back to them.  Hutch was a little surprised by his friend's revelation.  Starsky rarely spoke of his early years in LA.  The blond knew that it had been a rough period for his friend, away from his mother, missing his dad.  Living amongst virtual strangers.  The few times he had talked about those years were usually casual statements.  Comments made off-hand about his football experiences or his aunts and uncles.  Or of the girls he'd dated in school.  This evening was the first time he'd ever heard any real details about his friend's youth and he found it fascinating, as well as very revealing. 

 

Starsky finally looked up from his plate and smiled self-consciously.  "Sorry, guys.  Didn't mean to get all maudlin there.  I had almost forgotten how much Beck meant to me for those few months.  How much it hurt when I had to leave. 

 

Summer 1961

 

David Starsky made the hard decision to return home to New York after many days of uncertainty.  At eighteen, he was no longer a child, old enough to have a say in the running of his own life.  He was a high school graduate, and a candidate for football scholarships at three different colleges on the west coast.  The future was his to plan.  He had friends and family in LA.  The Dahlmans were as close to being family as they could be without him being born to them.  He was in love with Rebecca Dahlman, had even dreamed about asking her to marry him.  It was all too perfect.

 

Everything changed at graduation.  His mother had never meant for him to know about her troubles with his younger brother.  The brother he hadn't seen in four years.  Nick, who didn't even want to come to his graduation. 

 

Mrs. Starsky came alone to see her oldest son graduate.  Came by herself to thank the families who had taken in her confused child and helped him become a good man.  Her late husband's brother and sister-in-law had willingly taken on the financial responsibility of feeding and clothing a growing teen-ager.  She had sent money when she could, but there had never been much to send.  Some of the other relatives had helped, in memory of their slain kinsman, but it had been Ben and Rosie Starsky who had cheerfully accepted the dual burdens of providing for the physical and emotional care of their nephew.  She owed them an eternal debt of gratitude.

 

Rachel Starsky and her sister-in-law had always been close.  She liked her from the first day Ben brought her to dinner and shyly told his older brother that he was marrying the young Hispanic girl.  Rosie had fire and a deep love for her husband.  There had been one small obstacle in their way, however.  Rosie was a devote Catholic and as such felt she could not marry a non-Catholic man.  Ben loved her enough to convert to her faith, because he could not envision life without her.  If that was the price he had to pay to have her then that was what he was glad to do.  Rachel's one biggest fear at sending her son a continent away, had been that he would forget what it meant to be Jewish.  Although she knew that Rosie would never push Catholicism on David, he would not be raised in a Jewish household.

 

Dave's mother wanted to meet and thank the Dahlman family.  The Dahlmans had taken her son to temple with them, included him in family rituals and holy days.  And although their form of worship may have differed in some ways from her own, it was far preferable to having none at all.  Her son's letters over that last three years, filled with such love and admiration for them, helped her realize what a major influence they were in his life.  She needed to thank them for helping him keep in touch with his cultural and spiritual roots, for making him a part of their lives.

 

She had wanted to meet the pair of children that had become his brother and sister.  Who loved and respected him.  The ones that had given him a sense of belonging.  The two who had helped keep him away from the kind of life that would have swallowed him up and destroyed his soul.  She had not been disappointed.

 

Mrs. Starsky had seen the way the twins cared about Dave, the way he looked at them.  In some ways, it made her sad.  Zachary had become more of a brother to her eldest than his own brother could ever be.  They shared a history rich with experiences and life lessons.  Things that Dave and Nick would never share.  The two birth brothers had spent too much time apart, time that they would never have back.  The separation had seemed necessary at the time, but now their mother wondered if it had really been for the best.  While Dave may never feel the loss, she knew that Nick felt it bitterly. 

 

Dave was so happy to have his mother there for his graduation, to see him receive his diploma and the certificates for his achievements in sports and academics.  He was not the best student, but his teachers knew how hard he worked to learn and keep his grades up.  He deserved the awards he received, the offers of scholarships, and the trophy that he never expected.  The young man was proud to introduce her to his friends, to show off his girlfriend, and how well he had done in California.  To prove to her that her decision to send him away from New York had been the right one, that he had turned out well. 

 

He had been somewhat surprised that his brother didn't accompany their mother.  Dave thought that Nick would have jumped at the chance to visit him, to come to LA and see the ocean.  He had written so many letters to him, full of tales of his adventures in the City of Angels, the mischief that he and his friends got into.  But Nick had disappointed him.  When Dave questioned his absence, their mother had simply said that Nick couldn't get away from school because of his own finals.  It had taken a while and an overheard conversation before he learned the truth.  Not that he ever thought of confronting his mother about what he found out.

 

Dave had come into the house one afternoon not long after his mother arrived.  He had been intent on having a shower and changing clothes before he picked up Beck and Zach for a party they were all going to.  He heard his mother and aunt talking in the living room and had almost walked in when he heard his name mentioned.  Curiosity had won over politeness and he had stopped in the hallway to listen.

 

"I honestly don't know what to do, Rosie."  His mother was saying.  "I sent David out here to get him away from that gang of hoodlums only to lose his brother to them.  The police have already picked him up twice for stealing and this last time was so bad that he may go to jail.  I sometimes feel that I made a huge mistake sending David away.  He's so much stronger than Nicky, he would have realized that the road he was following was wrong.  He had more time with his father.  He would never have done anything to disappoint him.  David would have been there to protect Nick.  He's so much like Michael, he never would have allowed his brother to get so involved with criminals."  She paused for a moment.  The shocked boy standing in the hallway was sure he heard a sob in his mother's voice.

 

"I want so much to take David home with me.  Nick needs a man's influence.  He's resented any help that his uncles have tried to give.  Maybe he'd take it better from his own brother.  But I can't do that to David.  It wouldn't be fair after he's worked so hard.  He wouldn't be able to continue in school.  There's no one offering him a scholarship back home.  And I certainly can't afford to send him to college.  Not to mention what it would do to him and that sweet Rebecca.  I've seen the way they look at each other.  I know that the minute she's old enough he'd marry her.  I can't do that to them.  It wouldn't be fair, not after everything he's had to go through.  If I force him to come home, I may lose him too.  I couldn't bear that.  I just couldn't." 

 

Dave stunned by his mother's words and the sounds of her crying in his aunt's arms, almost brought him to his knees.  He wanted to rush into the living room, throw his arms around his mother, and promise her that he'd go home.  He wanted to rush down the street, grab Beck, get in his car, and run far away.  But he did neither.  Instead, he quietly climbed the stairs to his room, had his shower, changed his clothes, and went to the party.  Put on a mask and made everyone believe that he was having the time of his life.

 

He made it through graduation, through the party that his family and the Dahlmans threw for Del and him.  Made it through the prom, the only time he felt truly happy, with Beck on his arm.  She was beautiful in a white dress with red ribbons in her hair, he, handsome in a tuxedo and red cummerbund.  No one knew of the crisis of conscience he was going through.  To go or to stay.  Either way someone would be hurt.  He still hadn't made his final decision when he waved goodbye to his mother at the airport, but the minute the plane took off, he knew what he had to do.

 

He had to go home.  Back to New York and his obligations to his family.  To be the man of the house as his father would have wanted.  To take care of his mother and brother.  To protect that little brother from the same evils that had tried to suck him in.  Even if it broke his heart to do it.

 

Once he made the decision, everything became easier.  He made plans, charted out the course of action.  First thing he had to do was talk to Zach.

 

The next day Dave offered to drive Zach to the airfield for his flying lesson.  The younger boy had a fascination for airplanes that perplexed his friend.  Mr. Dahlman was an aeronautics engineer, working for an airplane manufacturer.  Zach Jr. had inherited that love of planes, but instead of wanting to design them, he wanted to fly.  As long as Dave had known him, Zach ate, breathed, and slept planes.  Except for when he played basketball with Dave and Beck, (and truth be told, it was Beck who truly loved basketball, not her brother) all he wanted to do was talk about planes.  As soon as he was old enough, he started taking flying lessons.  At sixteen, he still didn't have his driver's license, a fact that his friend found astounding, but he was almost ready to take his final pilot's test and be allowed to solo.  Dave, saddened by the fact he wouldn't be there for Zach's big day, knew that there was no way around that.  Not now.

 

Dave drove for a while, silent, allowing his friend to ramble on about airspeed and turbulence control and numerous other things that were foreign to him.  Finally, Zach realized that Dave hadn't said more than two words since leaving their street and asked him what was up.

 

Gripping the steering wheel harder, the older boy sighed.  "Zach, I've something to tell you and I don't want you interrupting me until I'm finished.  Okay?"  He glanced quickly over at his friend then turned back to his driving.

 

"Sure, of course.  What's the matter?"  Zach tried not to sound as worried as he felt.

 

Another sigh.  "I've got to go home.  Back to New York.  My mom needs me.  Needs me to look out for my brother."  Dave went on to tell his best friend what he had overheard that afternoon.  During the entire recital, Dave just stared ahead at the road, not wanting to look at Zach's face.  Knowing the hurt he'd see there.  Finally, he came to the end of his story.  "I need you to help me break this to Beck.  I hate to leave, but I don't have any choice.  My mom has to come first.  It's what my dad would have wanted me to do."

 

He glanced over at Zach as he started the turn into the airfield's parking lot.  Zach was staring out the passenger side window.  Dave could only see the back of his head and part of one cheek.  Trickling down that cheek was a single tear.  Dave parked the car and turned sideways on the seat.  Reaching out, he rubbed his friend's shoulder with a cautious hand.  The younger boy wiped the tears from his face and sniffed.

 

"I guess if you have to, you have to.  Your family needs you."  Another sniff.  "But.  Oh God, Dave.  I'm going to sure miss you."  Zach turned reddened eyes to his friend.  "You've been like a brother to me.  Growing up with all those girls, even with Beck, I always dreamt about a brother.  You're the closest I'm ever going to have."  He turned back towards the window.  "I guess I knew that you'd eventually leave.  Go to college or something.  I guess I just didn’t think it'd be so soon."

 

Dave was trying his best not to start crying himself.  This was the hardest thing he'd ever done, even harder than leaving New York in the first place.  He dreaded telling all of this to Beck.  He gripped Zach's shoulder. 

 

"You'll always be my brother, Zach.  In all the ways that count.  Once I've straightened everything out at home, I'll come back.  You and Beck are my family too.  I guess you know how I feel about your twin."  Here he was getting into deep water.  He had never told anyone, least of all this person; exactly how he felt about Rebecca, but it seemed important that Zach know.  "When she's old enough, and I can afford it, I'm going to ask her to marry me.  Then we'll really be brothers."   

 

At this announcement, Zach turned completely around and stared at Dave in amazement.  "Really?"

 

"Really."

 

Zach threw his arms around his friend's neck and squeezed hard.  Embarrassed by his display of emotion, he pulled away and climbed out of the car.  He stood for a moment outside the car, holding onto the open door, then leaned back in for a moment.  "Tonight, after supper, I'll bring Beck over and we'll tell her together.  The sooner she knows the better.  I'll see you later."  Slamming the door shut, he ran off towards the flight school office, never looking back.

 

********

 

The long drive back from the airfield gave Dave time to think.  He thought about the last few years living in California.  About the relatives here that had worked so hard to include him in their lives.  He thought about school, how he had hated it when he first arrived and now how much he was going to miss it.  The friends he had made here and how much he loved living in LA.

 

Thought about living again in New York, going to all the old haunts back home.  Eating real bagels and lox, not the stuff that they tried to pass off here.  Ice-skating, stickball, and all the other games so foreign to kids brought up in the warm climate of southern California.  Being able to see his Mom everyday, not just talk to her once in a while on the phone.  Taking care of his family like a grown man should.  And maybe saving his little brother from a life of suffering, make his Dad proud of him. 

 

Mostly, he thought about Beck and how much he was going to miss her.  Dave knew that the years apart might mean the end to whatever hopes of a future together he now held.  Beck was only sixteen and had two more years of school before she graduated.  Two years that he wouldn't be there for.  He had no idea when he'd be able to come back to LA.  So much would depend on how things went with Nick and what kind of a job he could find with only a high school diploma.  But he really had no choice.  His mother needed him and she was the most important thing right now.  Realistically he knew that a lot could and would change in the next few years.  He only had to look at the last three years since the Dahlmans had entered his life to know how fast things did change. 

 

********

 

Dave spent the next few hours preparing for his return home.  He had talked to his aunt and uncle the evening before, telling them of his decision to go back to New York and why.  Both of his guardians were very sad to see him go, but they understood his reasons.  His uncle Ben offered to pay for his airfare to New York, but Dave wouldn't let him.  He had money saved up for college, not a lot as he had been counting on the scholarships to see him through, but enough to get him home and then some.  He did take his uncle's offer of arranging his flight home and his aunt's of helping him pack. 

 

Late afternoon found him still trying to sort through his belongings, trying to make the decision what to take and what to leave behind.  It had only been a couple of months since he and his Aunt Rosie had gone though all of his clothes, his uncle's prediction of his growth spurt having finally come true, so there weren't many of those.  Two large suitcases and several boxes were scattered around his room.  The suitcases would go on the plane with him and the boxes would follow by freight.  Looking around his now almost empty room, Dave felt a deep sense of loss.  He had resented it bitterly when his mother forced him to come here and now this room, this city, felt more like home than home did.  The young man knew he had learned a lot within these four walls, had grown from a bitter child into a reasonably happy adult here.  He hadn't realized until now how much he loved living in LA.  He vowed to himself that he would one day come back here to live.  To make this city his permanent home.

 

The sound of the doorbell ringing interrupted his thoughts.  The moment he'd been dreading since he dropped Zach off at the airfield had arrived.  The twins were at his front door and he would have to tell the girl he loved that he was leaving.  Walking down the stairs to the living room where the pair waited was the longest walk of his young life.

 

***

Rosie met Dave in the doorway to the living room.  Giving him an encouraging hug, she left the three young people alone.  Zach was sitting in a chair by the front window, staring out at the street.  Beck was sitting on the couch, watching her twin.  Seeing Dave walk into the room, she got up and came over to give him a quick hug.  Looking up at the smile he tried to give her, she stiffened and pulled away.

 

Looking from her silent brother to her equally silent friend, she felt a thrill of fear.  She had known all afternoon that something was wrong by the way Zach had announced that they had to go over to Dave's that evening then hid himself away in his room until dinner.  She thought that perhaps the two of them had had a fight or that Dave had made the decision to accept the scholarship at the college in San Francisco instead of at UCLA.  Anything but what he really had to tell her.

 

Taking her by the hand, Dave walked Beck back to the couch and gestured for her to sit.  For some reason, he felt the need to distance himself from her while he told her of his plans so he sat in the chair opposite the couch instead of beside her.  Facing her, his resolve trembled for a moment.  How could he leave her, leave these friends, his family?  Over the last few years, living here, his mother and brother had become virtual strangers to him.  Did he really owe them more loyalty than he did the people who had taken him in and loved him?  The desire to stay, to leave things as they were, was momentarily so strong, that Dave felt faint.  Then, in the back of his mind he heard his father's voice.

 

********

 

It had been a spring day, not long before his father died that the two of them had a man to man talk.  Michael Starsky loved his oldest son more than he thought it was possible to love.  David was a bright and happy child, full of mischief.  But underneath that mischievousness lay a kindness and compassion for others not often seen in such a young person.  Michael knew that his boy would grow up to be an exceptional man, one that would make him proud to call him son.  He also knew that his son was mature enough to understand what the life of a policeman was like and the risks involved. 

 

They had gone for a walk to Michael's father's grave.  Michael had started to take David with him when his son was very young.  The elder Starsky often went to his father's gravesite to tend it, bring flowers and sometimes just to talk to him.  When David was about four, he had wanted to go along and Michael thought it was a good time to teach him about his family.  The two would pick weeds and talk about the grandfather that David had never met.  They were special times, just for the two of them.

 

This particular day, Michael wanted to talk about his job and the inherent dangers of it.  The two were sitting together on the little bench he had put there for when his mother came to visit the grave.  David was leaning against his father's side, Michael's arm holding him close.  "David, you know that being a policeman can sometimes be very dangerous.  We have to help people who are in trouble and sometimes they don't want that help.  And sometimes they get very angry with the police and take that anger out on us.  Do you remember last fall when your Mother and I went to Officer Timmons' funeral?"  The young boy nodded.  "Well, Officer Timmons was killed by a man he and his partner had gone to arrest.  The man didn't want to be arrested, didn't want to go to jail, and he shot Timmons.  It's something that every police officer faces every time he goes to work, it's part of the job."

 

"Why do you do it then, Dad?  If it's so dangerous?"  David had twisted around on the bench so he could watch his father's face.

 

"Because it's one of the most important jobs there is.  The police protect the innocent from people who would hurt them or steal from them.  If we didn't have police, no one would be safe.  You and your mother and brother wouldn't be safe.  I'm very proud of being a policeman; it's what I am.  But I want you to understand that someday I might not come home.  If that ever happens, I need to know that you will look after your family for me.  You're my eldest son, my heir, and I know that I can trust you to do what's right."  Michael looked down into his son's earnest blue eyes.  "Will you promise me, son, that you'll look after your mother and brother for me?  That you'll take care of them if I can't?"

 

David sat for a moment, absorbing the frightening thought of his father dying.  Searching his father's face for a promise that he knew his father couldn't give.  Climbing to his knees, he wrapped his arms around his father's neck, and whispered.  "I promise you, Dad.  I'll take care of Mom and Nick.  I'll make you proud of me.  I promise."

 

****

 

Not many weeks later, the young David Starsky repeated those words of promise over his own father's grave, adding one more.  "I promise you Dad.  I'll take care of Mom and Nick.  And when I grow up, I'll be a policeman, just like you.  And keep them safe."

 

********

 

<Promise me, son.  Take care of them.> the words echoed in his heart as well as his mind.  Too much time had past without him honoring that promise.  No matter how hard it was or how much it hurt, he had to make good on that last promise.  There was no other way.

 

"Beck - Rebecca, I've something I have to tell you.  There's no easy way, so I'm just going to say it.  I have to go home, back to New York.  My mom needs me and I have to go." 

 

Beck simply stared at him, not wanting to believe what he had said.  Glancing over at her brother, who was still staring out the window, she knew it was true.  "When?  And you'll be back, right?  It's only a visit.  You'll come back before fall.  You've got that scholarship."  The usual articulate Beck was stumbling over her words in the effort to understand.

 

Dave shook his head sadly at her.  "No, I'm going back to stay.  At least for a while.  I don't know when I'll be back, probably not for a couple of years, anyway.  The scholarships will just have to go to someone else.  And my flight leaves the day after tomorrow."  He couldn't look at her anymore, he needed to move.  Surging to his feet, he started to pace.  As quickly as he could, he told her the same thing he had told Zach earlier about the overheard conversation and his reasons for leaving.  Finally, he turned back to Beck.

 

"You understand why I have to go.  It's my responsibility.  My father trusted me to take care of things.  I couldn't before.  I was too unhappy, too miserable to take care of even myself.  But thanks to everyone here, especially you and Zach, I can do what I promised.  It's an obligation that I can't ignore any longer.  My mom needs me.  I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I'll come back someday.  I promise you that."

 

He could tell that Beck was doing her best not to cry.  Dave couldn't remember when he'd ever seen her cry.  He watched as she looked down at the floor, pulling on a lock of her brown hair, something she did when upset.  Finally she looked up at him; eyes shiny with unshed tears.  A sad smile played across her face as she rose from the couch and came over to where he stood near Zach.  Putting her arms around his waist, she lay her head against his chest and held him.

 

"I understand.  And I'm proud of you.  It would have been so easy just to ignore the whole thing.  I'll always be your friend, Dave.  Who knows, maybe someday we'll come visit you in New York."  She leaned back and smiled up at him.  "I'll always love you, Spud.  You're my best friend."  Beck's smile faltered and she lay her head back on Dave's chest.  Zach came and put his arms around his sister and his best friend.  When Rosie looked in the living room a few minutes later, she saw the three of them, silently holding on to each other.  She left them to their grief.

 

***

 

The morning of his leaving, Dave drove his car the two yard lengths to the Dahlmans' and pulled up in their driveway.  Climbing out, he took one last, long look at his most treasured possession, remembering.  Sighing, he walked up to the back door of the house and knocked.  Mrs. Dahlman smiled at the young man as she opened the door and gestured for him to enter.  Pulling him into a quick hug, she patted his back and let him go. 

 

"I'm going to miss you, David Starsky.  You're almost like one of my children.  What am I going to do without that silly smile of yours across the table on Shabbat?"  She smiled fondly at him, one hand reaching to touch his dark curls, so unlike her own children's straight hair.

 

"I'm going to miss you too, Mrs. Dahlman.  I wanted to thank you for being so kind to me all this time and making me feel like one of your family.  You don't know how much it's meant to me.  I'm going to miss all of you so much."  Dave was tired of feeling so sad.  Every goodbye hurt a little more than the last.

 

Mrs. Dahlman patted him one more time.  "Well, I suppose you came to see the twins.  I think they're out in the backyard."

 

Dave thanked her and went back outside and around the corner of the house to the yard.  Sitting in the old glider swings near the back fence, the twins were deep in thought.  Seeing them, sitting there, Dave wished he had a camera to capture this moment.  The two were dressed in almost matching outfits, so much like the first time he saw them.  T-shirts and cut-offs, Beck's shoulder length hair pulled back in a ponytail, baseball cap firmly on her head.  But unlike the first time, neither rushed over to him with big smiles and questions when they saw him.  Instead the two sat and waited for him to come over. 

 

"I've got something for you."  Dave stood with one foot on the floor of the glider, looking at his friends.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out the car keys.  Handing them to Zach, he smiled at the astonished look on the younger boy's face.  "I want the two of you to have my car.  My uncle and I signed all the papers over to you.  It's yours.  The only stipulation is that you have to learn how to drive it.  And take good care of it." 

 

Zach reminded Dave of a beached fish, his mouth opening and shutting in shock.  Beck looked almost as bad.  "But, but we can't take it.  It's your car, you worked so hard to get it." 

 

"That's why I want you to have it.  I can't take it to New York with me and I don't want to sell it to strangers.  I want you to have it.  I don't know how many more miles it has, but I want someone who cares as much about it as I do to take care of it.  Besides, it's a done deal so you have no choice.  It's yours."

 

The twins looked at each other and then at their friend.  An unspoken agreement past between the pair and they both nodded.  Zach reached out his hand and the two young men shook on the deal, then Beck followed suit.

 

Dave sighed.  "Well, I guess I'd better be going.  My plane leaves in a couple of hours and Uncle Ben wants to make sure I'm at the airport in lots of time.  I wanted to come and give you the keys and say good-bye."

 

Once again, the trio shared a long hug.  Finally Dave pulled himself away and gave each of his friends one last look.  Straightening his back, and his resolve, he turned and walked away without once looking back.  Walked past the backdoor that he had entered so many times.  Past his car, now the twins car, allowing his hand to glide along its side as he walked past.  Down the driveway that he knew as well as his own.  Stopped to take one last look at the house that had become a haven for a troubled boy and a place of much happiness.  Turning his back on all of the years, he started the long walk back to his uncle and aunt's house.  Then he started to run.  Ran up his driveway, around the corner of the white house, through the kitchen door and into his aunt's arms. 

 

********

Hutch stared at his partner, trying to find the words that would erase the hurt look on Starsky's face.

 

Starsky looked up from his perusal of the tabletop and flashed Hutch a thin, sad smile.  Taking a deep breath, he said to no one in particular, "Gotta go to the john.  Be right back."  He slid out of the booth and hurried away leaving the remaining three to stare at each other.

 

Zach was the first to speak.  "I'd forgotten how bad that summer really was.  After Dave left ... well, it just seemed like nothing was fun anymore.  We'd get letters from him, and they always seemed so sad.  He missed us and we missed him.  Then by the end of summer we were all gone too."  He stared off towards where Starsky had disappeared into the back of the restaurant.  "My dad got transferred to Seattle and we had to move again.  By the time Dave came back to LA we were long gone and we never all got together again."  Zach sighed and looked at Hutch and Huggy.  "He really was our best friend, you know.  And the big brother we never had.  Dave looked out for us, got us out of trouble lots of times.  The school we went to was a good one, but it was kinda tough too.  And there weren't many Jewish kids going there, so the six of us stood out a bit."

 

Hutch watched his partner's friend's face and found himself liking this man who obviously loved Starsky.  "I thought that you went to a large temple.  At least from things Starsk has said over the years."

 

"Oh, we did.  A lot of the other kids from Temple went to a private school, one run by the Temple itself.  But with five kids, my parents couldn't afford to send us all so none of us went.  Except, of course, to Hebrew school; but that was after the regular school times.  Plus my dad wanted us to get used to being around all kinds of people, not just those of our own community.  Dad was kind of an advanced thinker for his times."  Zach grinned proudly.  "The kids that went to public school were divided up between two different high schools so we didn't have too many of our own people to hang with.  Dave's family couldn't afford the private school either so it worked out good for us."

"So, I go to the john and come back and find ya talking about me.  Some friend you are."  Starsky was back and to look at him one would never know that just a few minutes before he'd looked like he was about to cry. 

 

Taking the cue from his partner, Hutch grinned at him.  "Well, buddy, when something is so weird people are going to talk."

 

Starsky sneered good-naturedly at him and slid back into the booth.  "Hey, Huggy.  How about another round?"  The little bit of food left on the plates had gone cold and their glasses were empty. 

 

Huggy looked at Hutch and at his nod signaled to his waitress.  "Anita.  Another round for my friends here, but none for me.  And take the dishes with you.  Please."  Anita winked at Hutch as she leaned across Huggy to pick up the plates.  "Anita, I told you to leave these two alone.  I don't want them messing with my girls."  Huggy scowled at the innocent looking Hutch while Anita simply smiled and Starsky and Zach burst out laughing.

 

"Actually none for me either, Anita."  Zach, still laughing, leaned against Starsky so he could see the waitress.  He grinned at her, a grin so like Starsky's that Hutch had to blink.  Then Zach turned that grin on Huggy.  "So, these two are trouble with the ladies, huh?  Is it 'lock up your daughters' time with them?"

 

"Somethin' like that.  I make it standard policy to warn all my female staff to steer clear of these guys.  I've lost too many good waitresses over the years because of them."  Huggy grinned right back at Zach, darting looks at Starsky and Hutch checking for their reactions.  He wasn't disappointed.

 

"Hug-gy!"  Their insulted voices rose in unison.  Hutch elbowed Huggy in the ribs, "You know that we leave your girls alone, Hug.  We can't help it if they find us irresistible."  The partners grinned at each other as Huggy tried to look disgusted.  Zach simply sat back and enjoyed himself.

 

Satisfied that his and his partner's reputations were once again intact Starsky turned back to Zach.  "How come you don't want anymore to drink?  The evening's early yet and you've only had one."

"Working tomorrow.  One's my limit if I don't want to get into trouble."  Zach smiled at Starsky.

 

Glad for the opening, Hutch asked, "What do you do Zach?"

 

Before Zach could answer, Starsky leaned across the table and spoke in a stage whisper, "Remember when I said that Zach was the craziest person I know?"  Hutch, playing along, nodded.  "He's a - pilot!"  He said the last in mock horror.  "He actually likes to fly.  Can ya beat that?"  Starsky turned an affectionate look on Zach.

 

Hutch looked at the grinning Zach who was shaking his head at Starsky in resignation.  "A pilot, huh?  Which airlines?"

 

"Dave here always manages to make being a pilot sound like some kind of perversion."  Zach pretended to sigh.  Turning to the two across the table, he ignored Starsky.  "I don't work for an airline.  I'm a partner in a charter flying service out of Seattle.  Two buddies and I run cargo and small passenger flights across most of the Northwest."  Turning back to Starsky he continued,  "Actually that's why I'm in LA.  We've been doing so much business from Seattle to here lately that we've decided we need to open a branch office.  As I'm the only one without a family to uproot, we decided I should be the one to head up the office here."

 

The look on Starsky's face was priceless.  "You mean...you're goin'a....  You're moving back to LA?"  His voice almost squeaked.

 

Zach's smile could have lit Dodger's Stadium.  "Yep, on a semi-permanent basis.  I'll be flying back and forth between LA and Washington but mostly living here.  We're going to...."  Starsky interrupted whatever else Zach was about to say when he enveloped him in a big hug. 

 

"Uh, Dave.  Could you ease up there, Spud?  I can't breathe."  Zach's arms were as tight around Starsky as Starsky's were around him.  Hutch and Huggy shrugged at each other in fond bemusement as the two old friends celebrated.  After a few minutes, Starsky pulled back to grin in delight. 

 

"That's so great.  I can't believe this.  Hey, Hutch - ain't that great?"  Starsky looked as if he was about to burst.

 

"I just have one question before I decide how great this is."  Hutch turned a stern look on his partner. 

 

Starsky peered suspiciously at his partner.  "Yeah, what?"

 

"If Zach is going to run his charter service from here, does that mean you'll be going flying with him?"  Hutch had to work hard to suppress the grin that threatened at Starsky's horrified expression.  And at the gleefully wicked one of Zach's.

 

"Hey, you should come up with me, Dave.  You can be my co-pilot and help me with some of the cargo runs.  I'm always needing a strong back to haul stuff."  Starsky was slowly shaking his head at his friend's proposal.  "Sure, you haven't been up with me since Nam.  You'd love the plane I've got now.  It's a Piper Cherokee.  Just rolled off the line last year.  We converted it too...."  Zach stopped when he realized that Starsky wasn't paying attention and that his eyes had glazed over. 

 

Hutch, thinking that he'd better rescue his partner before he fainted, turned to Zach.  "You two were in Nam together?"  Hutch knew little of Starsky's tour of duty in Viet Nam.  Starsky never wanted to talk about it and Hutch knew better than to push.  But since Zach had brought it up, he would take the opportunity to learn more about his partner's past.  And maybe why it hurt so much to talk about it.

 

Zach looked at Starsky, obviously trying to decide just how much to tell.  "Dave?"  Starsky, who had been staring off into space, glanced over at Zach and sighed.

 

"Yeah, but not really together.  I was ground troops and Zach was air.  The two don't usually hang together, but we ran into each other one time on R&R."  Starsky smiled faintly when he said that.  Then his face hardened, "And one other time.  The last time I saw Zach for about four years."  Starsky's hand reached out blindly and found Zach's.  The two of them sat for a moment in total silence.  Leaving Hutch and Huggy to wait and Hutch to wonder what made his partner's face so pale.

 

*******

 

Da Nang - Summer 1966

 

Two days ago, they'd been in the jungle.  Today they were in Da Nang for medical attention and reassignment.  They'd been lucky, all things considered.  The two squads that made up the patrol had made it back with only one major causality.  Sergeant Anderson, in charge of the second squad, bought it the week before, just after the orders came down to come in.  That skirmish had also seen two other men in the patrol wounded but everyone else came through just fine.  Now here they were, his squad and the other one, waiting for their orders to move on to another killing ground.  Another jungle swamp.  The life of a grunt wasn't easy but at least it was life.  Which was more than could be said for Anderson anyway.

 

Sergeant David Starsky paced the small area of the courtyard.  What once had been the house of a minor official in the local government had become part of the military base for the American forces stationed in and around Da Nang.  The sergeant was there in response to a rather cryptic message passed along to him a few hours before to be at this place at this time to meet with an unspecified fellow soldier.  All very mysterious and all very intriguing.  He really had nothing better to do until such time as the unit was sent back out into the field so why not honor this request?  Besides, he was curious.  One of his virtues.  One of his faults.

 

Starsky and the men he'd trained with had been in Viet Nam just short of six months.  Almost half his tour of duty.  And what seemed like half his life.  The last months were a blur of endless hot days tramping through the jungle waiting for the elusive enemy to take potshots at them.  Long dark nights spent waiting for a mortar to slam into their encampment or for a boy - or girl - of very young years to sneak into camp and start slitting throats.  All of which had happened at one time or another.  He'd lost some good friends, good comrades to this bloody war and he was tired of the whole thing.  Actually, he'd been tired of it from the beginning but there was no out except desertion or death.  Neither of which were viable options.

 

A crunch of boot heels on gravel alerted him to the arrival of, what he hoped, was his mysterious message sender.  Turning towards the entrance of the courtyard, Starsky watched as the young officer walked in.  A quick once over of the uniform gave the sergeant the information he needed to rank the other man.  A lieutenant, neatly pressed with little wings clipped to his lapel.  Starsky snorted to himself.  A pilot - what the hell did a pilot want with him?  Although they were certainly necessary and he and his unit owed their lives to men just like him, it didn't mean he had to like them.  Pilots tended to look down, both figuratively and literally, on ground troops.

 

Starsky saluted, dropping his hand as the lieutenant returned the salute.  He avoided looking the man in the face.  Something he'd learned out here was that if you didn't know what someone looked like their face couldn't haunt you in your nightmares.  Starsky stood at attention staring over the officer's shoulder.  Not seeing the grin on the young officer's face.  But he heard it in the man's voice.

 

"Relax, sergeant."

 

"Yes sir."  Starsky's own voice was barely civil.  He didn't like officers much but knew better than to be too obvious about it.  But there was something in this officer's voice that tugged at his memory.  He allowed himself one quick look at the pilot's face.

 

And felt his mouth drop open.  He stared at the grinning pilot, taking in the lean face, dark eyes, and almost painfully short fine brown hair.  "Zach?"  His voice trembled on the name, his mind trying to grasp the fact that his best friend stood in front of him.  The boy he hadn't seen in five years now a man.  Here in the hell of Nam he'd found a bit of home.

 

His unit of battle weary men would have been astonished at the sight of their taciturn sergeant wrapping his arms around the lieutenant.  They would have been delighted to see - for the first time in far too long - his crooked smile and hear his merry laugh.  And not a little shocked at the tears in his eyes.

 

*****

The two of them sat sprawled on the bench under the vague shade of the courtyard's lone tree.  Laughing at each other just like when they were boys back stateside.  Two friends simply happy to be together for a moment in time.

 

"You know, I almost didn’t recognize you with that fur on your face."  Zach reached over and tugged at the beard covering Starsky's chin.  "And Mom would just cry if she saw your hair cut that short."  Zach's wide grin matched the one on Starsky's face.

 

"Well, I sure as hell wouldn't have picked you out of a crowd either.  Look at you - a lieutenant.  It's so weird having to salute my little brother.  And when did you get so thin?  You and Beck always had the chubbiest cheeks."  Starsky ducked the mock punch that Zach threw at him.  "God, I've missed you.  You and your family.  When I went back to visit Aunt Rosie and met the people who'd moved into your house, it was so weird."  Starsky looked away from those knowing brown eyes and sighed.

 

"Yeah, I know.  Mom still gets letters from Aunt Rosie and she's up on all the neighborhood gossip."  Zach tried to keep his voice cheerful, not liking the lost look on Starsky face.  "You know, after your tour is over, why don't you go to Seattle?  My parents would be happy to have you stay with them until you get your own place.  And I know Beck would be thrilled to see you.  You know she's living at home while she goes to college, don't you?"

 

Starsky smiled at Zach's enthusiasm.  He thought about his friend's suggestion.  There wasn't much for him in either New York or Los Angeles.  Maybe Seattle was the answer.  "I might just do that.  Always heard it's a nice city.  Hey, maybe your Dad could get me a job at Boeing.  It's always good to have friends in high places."  Starsky grinned at the expression on Zach's face.

 

"Well, if you're planning on working there, you'd better get over that thing you've got about flying.  Or has all the walking you've done over here cured you of that?"  Zach tried to sound superior, but failed miserably when he starting laughing.  "I'm sorry, Dave, but you should see your face.  You turned almost as green as that time I talked the flight instructor into letting you come up with us.  Never knew anyone who had to use the airsickness bag on the runway before.  Or since."

 

"Hey, I can't help it if I have a delicate stomach."  Starsky tried to sound indignant.  But his grin belied that.  "How'd you know I was here anyway?"  

 

Zach shifted self-consciously on the hard bench.  "Well....  I knew that you were stationed in the area and I put the word out to let me know if you came into the base.  It was just pure luck that I got back before they sent you out again."

 

"Back from where?  Or are you flying secret spy planes now and can't tell a lowly sergeant."  Starsky teased watching in amusement as Zach's cheeks pinked.

 

"Yeah, right.  I was flying reconnaissance for a while but they decided my, and I quote: 'unique talents could be better used elsewhere'.  So now I fly Hueys on medevac missions."  Zach grinned, unrepentant.

 

Starsky stared at him in dismay.  "You mean you're nuts.  All of those medevac pilots are crazy as loons.  What the hell did you do this time?"

 

"Well, you know what they say about us 2nd lieutenants."  Zach's grin widened at the startled look on his friend's face.  "And unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I can't tell you what I did to get transferred.  Let's just say I earned a medal for it and leave it at that."

 

Shaking his head in feigned disappointment, Starsky watched his friend squirm on the bench.  "What ever happened to that nice, quiet boy I grew up with?  It was always Beck who was the daredevil not you. 

 

Zach looked away for a minute, his eyes distant and sad.  Starsky laid his arm on the younger man's shoulder, wanting to do something.  Zach turned back to his friend and smiled weakly.  "I don't know, Dave.  I don't know.  When I joined up all I wanted to do was fly.  I didn't care what it was as long as it had an engine and wings.  But after you've been on a couple of bombing runs and seen whole villages disappear under your wings it does something to you.  They transferred me to reconnaissance and when...well, when what happened, happened it was a choice between going back stateside or flying the medevacs.  And I wanted a chance to save some lives instead of taking them.  So here I am.  Flying Hueys, taking chances, and loving the hell out of it.  Just don't tell my mom or my sisters.  Okay?  They don't need to know what it all really entails." 

 

Zach stared down at his hands.  "I want something good to come out of this damn war.  And if I can save one soldier who goes home and raises a family that might never have been otherwise then I've succeeded.  My life will mean something."

 

Starsky couldn't think of one thing to say to this person he hardly knew.  Somewhere between their last good-byes all those years ago in LA to this little courtyard in Da Nang, Zach had changed.  The young boy who could only think about airplanes and flying had become a serious, introspective man.  Starsky had seen that same look on far too many soldiers over here.  Boys who had never wanted, never hurt, never been scared in their entire lives facing the biggest nightmare that anyone could ever think of.  And none were unchanged.  Including himself.  It hurt to see it in anyone but it was especially hard when it was someone he loved.

 

The silence stretched between them as the hot breeze rustled the leaves on the dusty tree.  Zach reached out a hand and Starsky gripped it in his.  They sat like that until the crunch of gravel once again announced a visitor to the little courtyard.

 

Standing up, pulling away from each other, felt like the single hardest thing that Starsky had done since arriving in Nam.  They stood shoulder to shoulder, but not touching, and watched the even younger private march into the courtyard.  The boy came to attention in front of Zach and saluted.

 

"Lieutenant Dahlman, sir."  Zach returned the salute and the private's hand went down but his back stayed ramrod straight.  "I've been sent by the duty officer to inform you that they need you at the airfield.  Sir.  And also to inform Sergeant Starsky that he's to report to the duty officer.  His orders have come down." 

 

Starsky didn't move, couldn't move.  Zach looked over at him and sighed.  "Thank you, private.  Return to the duty officer and tell him that Sergeant Starsky will be along directly.  And I'll be at the field ASAP."  The private snapped another salute to Zach and left the two older men alone.

 

Starsky felt Zach's sigh.  He didn't know if he could look at his friend at that moment.  For a brief time, he had forgotten the war, the ugliness.  Had lost himself in the pleasure of being with one of the few people in the world that he truly cared about.  And now they would have to say good-bye all over again.  His chest hurt.

 

Zach's hand clenched his and Starsky turned to look into those brown eyes.  A sudden deep fear struck Starsky that this would be the last time they'd ever see each other.  That something horrible was going to happen.  It didn't matter what or to whom, just that it would be the end of things.  It was all he could do not to cry with the fear in his throat.  As it was he could hardly get the words out that he had to say.

 

Trying to smile, Starsky gripped Zach's hand - hard.  "Well, duty calls buddy.  Guess I've got to go."  He couldn't look at Zach's face.  It was too much like that day in the airfield parking lot.  Closing his eyes, Starsky swallowed.  "Take care of yourself, okay?  Don't do anything stupid.  And when you get home, hug that twin of yours for me.  Tell her...tell her...."  He couldn't say it.  It was too final.  "Aww shit, Zach.  Just be careful."

 

They both stood, not letting go of the hand they each held.  Not wanting to let go period.  The two men looked at each other as if they were trying to burn the image of the other's face on their memory.  Starsky grinned at his friend and Zach grinned back.  Starsky whispered.  "Goodbye my friend.  My brother."  Zach blinked at him, reminding Starsky of that boy so many years ago.

 

Zach wrapped his arms around Starsky and squeezed him hard.  "Bye Dave.  See ya around."  Then he let go, turned, and walked away.  Not looking back.

 

Starsky watched him go.  Waited until he was gone then went off to find his unit and go back out into the jungle. 

 

******

Somewhere in the jungle - Autumn 1966

 

It was hot, wet, and the humid air was so thick that even the insects had stopped flying.  They'd been wading through this swamp for what seemed like weeks but was in reality only a matter of a few days.  Starsky knew that as far as their commanding officer was concerned they were lost, or at least seriously misplaced.  Lieutenant Gordon had given up trying to reassure them the morning of the fourth day that he knew where they were going.  But he was too proud, or too dumb, to ask for help from anyone.  His sergeants or anyone else. 

 

By the fifth day, the entire troop knew they were in trouble.  Their food was running out as well as other supplies.  Several of the men sported wounds of one kind or another, painful ones but none serious.  Nothing that warranted calling for help.  They'd had a running battle with a small group of enemy soldiers a couple of days before, and while no one was killed, few came away totally unscathed.  The only bright side of that whole event was that between Starsky and another soldier they'd managed to kill the enemy before any of them died.

 

The night before, they'd made camp on a fairly dry hummock and eaten a cold supper.  There would be no campfires, no light of any kind until they were out of here.  The Viet Cong were out in this swamp too and they had the advantage of knowing the place better.  This morning the lieutenant had pulled his two sergeants aside and informed them that things weren't going well.

 

Starsky, too tired and too dispirited to really care, wished he could muster up the energy to feel sorry for the lieutenant.  The officer wasn't that much older than he was and this was his first field assignment.  Between the two sergeants, Skyler and Starsky, they had at least two more years of field experience than Gordon did.  But he was their commanding officer and they duty was to obey him.  Even if he was an idiot.

 

Sergeant Skyler took it upon himself to lead them out of the swamp.  He rounded up the troop and headed them back the way they came.  Or at least in the direction he thought they'd come.  Starsky, who found that all the vegetation looked alike, but knowing that they were finally going in the right direction, fell back to talk with one of his men.  Private First Class Tucker had been, in a former life, an Eagle Scout and was now their medic.  Starsky knew each of his men well.  Nine months eating, sleeping, and fighting with the same people tended to do that.  Especially if you wanted to stay alive.  And Starsky definitely wanted to stay alive.

 

Slogging through the muck, the two soldiers discussed the relative health of each of the men.  Tucker was in charge of administering first aid, bandages, and whatever else the patrol needed to keep going.  The private was concerned about a couple of the men whose wounds appeared to be infected.  With the limited supplies the medic carried there wasn't much he could do for them.  Especially in the persistent wetness of the swamp.  Once they reached dry land he felt that they might have to call for a medevac.  If nothing else happened in the mean time.    

 

Starsky moved up to inform Skyler of this apparent problem.  Skyler called a halt and the men clustered together as the officers conferred.  Gordon was all for going on with the mission, even though they were rapidly running out of supplies and were at risk of running into very hostile enemy.  Both Skyler and Starsky wanted to continue to retreat.  The non-commissioned officers knew that the men where exhausted and if they didn't get some sleep and medical attention soon, they were all in trouble.  Starsky didn't like the idea of dragging sick men through this swamp any longer than necessary.  The jungle was bad enough.  And he wasn't too sure about the condition of his own constantly soaking wet feet.

 

They finally convinced Gordon of the wisdom of retreat by the simple method of Skyler threatening to leave him in the swamp by himself.  Starsky knew that they were skating on the thin edge of insubordination but he truly didn't care.

 

He and Tucker took point.  It was just past noon when they found the end of the swamp, at the same location where they'd entered it.  Starsky was only slightly amused when the lieutenant expressed surprise as he realized that the unit had been travelling in circles for most of the last few days.  So tired of Gordon's stupidity Starsky felt torn between the choice of laughing hysterically or turning and shooting the lieutenant between the eyes.  But he resisted both urges.  The sergeants decided to push on and get as far inland as they could before dark.

 

It was late afternoon when the first signs of trouble appeared.  They were approaching a small village that Starsky remembered from the journey into the swamp.  When they were there earlier, the few remaining villagers greeted them politely.  Mostly old men, women, and small children - their men gone to war or into the jungle.  This time no one ran out to greet them, not even the ever-present dogs.  The village was ominously quiet.  No smell of cooking fires, no sounds of chickens scratching in the village square.  Total silence.

 

The men went on alert, weapons at ready.  They cautiously approached the village, two of the patrol going ahead, trying to stick to cover.  The first round of gunfire caught one of the scouts full in the chest.  Starsky and Skyler both yelled for the men to take cover, to get down. 

 

But the snipers had caught them in the open.  Starsky found himself beside Tucker, both of them flat on the ground.  Both of them trying to hide behind the thin cover of a small bush.  Starsky rolled over onto his back so he could see around him.  To his left were Skyler and about four of the other men.  To his right the lieutenant and the rest of the patrol.  It appeared that all of the gunfire was coming from the village and if they could get across the dozen or so yards of open field they would be back into the trees.  A risk, yes, but a risk they had to take. 

 

Starsky gestured at Skyler, indicating that he'd provide covering fire and give the sergeant's group a chance to get into the forest.  Skyler nodded his understanding.  Then he made the same gestures at the lieutenant.  Before he did anything else though, Starsky turned to Tucker.  "When I start shooting, you get your butt into those trees.  You hear me?  They're going to need you to take care of them until we all get out of here."

 

Tucker looked as if he was going to protest but one glance at Starsky's face and he simply nodded.  Starsky, satisfied that the private was going to obey him, looked back at Skyler, and started to count down.  When he reached one, Starsky pulled himself up to his knees and started firing into the village.  He knew that Tucker was gone and he saw Skyler's group move.  Then he heard the lieutenant's group going.  The snipers were returning fire and Starsky could feel the dirt spitting up at him and the occasional hiss as bullets flew by him.  He concentrated on the sounds behind him and tried not to think about how close those bullets were.

 

Starsky heard one of the men cry out.  Knew that someone had been hit but he couldn't spare the time to look.  He saw movement between the huts in the compound and knew that their time was limited.  He knew that some of the men had reached the trees when he heard weapon fire behind him.  At least he prayed that it was his own people.  He continued firing until he could be sure everyone was safe.

 

His gun clicked - empty.  Dropping back to the ground he pulled out the old clip and inserted a new one.  While he was down, he saw that the field was clear except for two soldiers, one trying to pull the other one into the trees.  If he was going to get out of this himself, now was the time to move.  Keeping low, Starsky made a dash for the trees as his fellows kept up the covering fire.  Now bullets were flying past him from both directions but there was no other way to reach the relative safety of the jungle.  Just as he leaned down to help the man struggling to pull his wounded comrade across the final few feet of open field, Starsky felt a bullet rip into him. 

 

He was surprised there was no pain.  Starsky felt himself falling forward and twisted so he would land on his back.  Whatever was going to happen, he wanted to face it.  He heard someone shout his name but things were starting to get hazy and he wasn't sure whose voice he heard.  His last thoughts were of home, both New York and LA.  Of his mom, who he knew would miss him, and of his surrogate family.  The last thing he thought before the blackness came was that he'd been right that day in the courtyard and that he was glad that it was him and not Zach.  Then he knew nothing at all.

 

*****

 

Noise washed over him.  The sounds of gunfire, an explosion that rocked the ground under him.  Shouting, a last spat of weapons then silence.  He kept drifting in and out.  Starsky felt someone trying to free the rifle from his grip as he grasped it tighter against him.  "It's okay, man.  Let go.  You're safe.  Let me have the gun."  Tucker's voice, quiet and deep.  Starsky let go of the rifle and allowed himself to sink back into the nothingness again.

 

He woke a few times to the dark of a starry sky.  Every time someone was with him.  Either Tucker or Skyler were there to offer a drink of water or to mutter a comforting word.  Each time he woke the pain was greater, deeper until it came to the point where he didn't want to wake up at all.  But still he did. 

 

Morning came finally.  And with the dawn came help.  Starsky woke again to noise.  The wump wump of helicopter blades broke the quiet that lay over the village and the area around it.  Tucker was beside him again, his eyes blurry with sleeplessness, his dark skin gray in the pale, hot light steaming through the trees.  When Starsky groaned, Tucker was instantly alert, reaching for the sergeant's hand.  "It's okay Sarge, the medevac team's here.  We're going to get you out of this place just fine." 

 

Starsky tried to move his head but the pain held him in place.  Closing his eyes, trying to brace himself against the pain, Starsky listened to the Huey land in the open field.  Listened to the blades slowing to a gentle whooping and waited.  Gentle, sure hands came and did things to his wounded shoulder.  Calm voices spoke over his head telling him he'd be okay.  He just wanted them to go away and leave him alone.  Eventually they did.

 

He drifted off for a while, the background noises of the jungle and the hurried voices changing in his mind to the more comforting sounds of home.  Drifted off to a time when he was sick in bed with the flu and he could hear birdsong through the open window.  And the sounds of Zach and Beck playing basketball in his driveway.  The twins had wanted to come in and sit with him but Aunt Rosie wouldn't let them, afraid they'd get sick too.  In his pain muddled mind he could hear Zach's voice calling his name.  But it sounded strange - deeper, older than he remembered. 

 

Then he was awake again.  Awake to someone talking softly to him, repeating his name over and over.  "Dave - hey Dave.  Come on buddy, it's time to open those eyes.  You in there, Spud?"  Zach's voice sounded worried, sad.  Scared.  What could be so bad that Zach would sound like that? 

 

Starsky tried to reach out with his left hand but it wouldn't move.  His right hand felt warm as someone grasped it.  He opened his eyes and looked up into the troubled brown ones of his friend.  Zach smiled his familiar cocky grin at him.  Except it had no effect on that sadness surrounding his eyes. 

 

"Hey Spud."  Zach squeezed Starsky's hand.

 

It took Starsky a minute to find his voice, to figure out how to talk past the pain in his chest.  "Zach...wha...."  He swallowed and tried again.  "What are you doing here?"  Just those few words were a struggle.

 

"I'm here to rescue you, ya dope.  I'm flying the Huey that's goin' take you out of here."  Zach's voice slipped into an unconscious imitation of Starsky's speech pattern.  Something he'd picked up when they were living beside each other back home.  "Just try not to get airsick this time, okay?  The medics get really snarly when someone barfs on them."

 

"Lieutenant Dahlman?"  Another man's voice sounded somewhere above Starsky's head.  He couldn't see who it was and didn't want to stop looking at his friend to try.  "We're ready to load the sergeant on now.  He's the last one."

 

Zach leaned over Starsky and ran his hand over his forehead.  "I've got to go, Dave.  They can't leave without me."  A little grin.  "We'll get you to the aid station and then we'll have a chance to talk.  Hang in there, Spud.  You're in good hands."  A last gentle squeeze of his hand and Zach was gone.  Starsky tried to hold onto him but didn't have the strength.  Two men, one at his head and the other at his feet, bent to lift him onto a stretcher lying beside him.  The moment they lifted him, Starsky's head swam from the pain and he blacked out.

 

*****

He was in a tent when he woke up again.  The tent was dim, the only light being a portable electric lamp down the narrow aisle from him.  Starsky, the pain in his shoulder just bearable, looked around slowly.  He lay on a narrow cot in a row of narrow cots.  Each one occupied by a blanket-covered soldier.  Across from him was another row of cots, most of which were also occupied.  Turning his head carefully, he saw a woman sitting at a small table near the entrance to the tent.  Another woman was moving things around in a small standing cabinet behind the table.  Their voices, low and melodious in the darkness were oddly soothing.  It had been a long time since he'd heard a woman's voice speaking English without a Vietnamese accent. 

 

Starsky shifted on the cot and moaned when a stab of pain lanced through his shoulder.  One of the nurses was at his side before the throbbing had quieted.  "Shh, Sergeant.  You're going to be fine."  Soft soothing words spoken in a soft soothing voice.  Cool, gentle hands on his skin.  The IV line attached to his arm moved and he knew that the nurse was adjusting the medication.  Then that's all he knew.

 

*******

 

The next time he woke, it was daylight.  Outside the tent the noise created by people, vehicle motors, and a soft booming sound he couldn't identify filled the hot air.  Inside the tent, it was quieter, almost hushed.  He lay with his eyes open, staring up at the sloped canvas ceiling above him and enjoyed breathing.  A shifting sound to his right alerted him to someone's presence.  Turning his head didn't seem to hurt so badly this time as he moved to see who was beside him.

 

Zach's grin could have lit the whole tent.  As it was, it lit a cold little spot in Starsky's chest.  "Hi ya, Spud.  It's about time you woke up."

 

"Zach...I mean Lieutenant.  What are you doing here?"  His voice sounded strange in his own ear.  Faint and kind of breathless.

 

"Oh, can the Lieutenant stuff.  There's no one here but sick people and medics.  No one's going to care about keeping rank right now."  Zach laid his hand on Starsky's arm.  "I'm here to say good-bye.  I was hoping you'd wake up before I had to leave."

 

"Leave?"  Even that one word was an effort.

 

"Yeah.  We came in last night with you and some other injured, and now we've got to go back out.  No rest for the wicked as my mother always said.  But I didn't want to go without checking on you first."  Zach looked away for a minute, his eyes suspiciously shiny.  "Mom would never forgive me if I didn't make sure that you were getting the best of care."  Zach turned back and smiled again.  "You're going to be okay, Spud.  I cross-examined the doctor and he says that with time and therapy your shoulder will be as good as new.  And I threatened the nurses not to give you cold bedpans or dull needles."

 

Starsky lifted his hand and Zach grasped it.  "Thanks, Zach.  I'm sorry I wasn't awake to check out your flying skills."

 

"That's okay.  I'm afraid that if you had been awake you might not have liked it anyway.  You wait until we're both back stateside and I'll take you up."

 

"Okay, it's a deal."  Starsky shifted and the pain must have shown on his face because Zach leaned forward and brushed the damp hair off of Starsky's forehead.

 

"You're going home, Dave.  They figure that it'll take at least the rest of your tour to heal up so they're sending you back to the states.  You're going to get the chance to recuperate in the luxurious surroundings of the VA hospital in Los Angeles.  How lucky can a guy get?"

 

Starsky tried to match the smile on Zach's face but he hurt too much and the medication dripping into his arm was pulling him under again.  "Yeah, lucky."  His eyes wouldn't stay open any longer.  Squeezing the hand in his, he tried one last time to speak.  "Take care of yourself, Zach.  I'll see you in Seattle." 

 

He drifted off.  The last thing he heard was "Yeah, Seattle.  Bye, Spud."

 

*******

 

December 1966

 

Former US Army Sergeant David Starsky sat in the chair by the window in his hospital room.  This was his last day at the VA and he was never so happy to be leaving anywhere as he was this place.  He still had a few months of therapy left.  All paid for by the government, but he was going home.  Home to his Aunt Rosie and Uncle Ben anyway.  His Ma had wanted him to come back to New York but somewhere between the jungles of Viet Nam and this day he'd made the decision to stay in Los Angeles.  This was home for him.  Not New York.  Not ever again.  And Seattle had been a nice dream, but he didn't know if he could live with the rain, the mountains so close, and all.  He was afraid it might remind him of Nam too much. 

 

During his time in the VA, several people had visited him.  His many relatives living in the area had wandered through his room at one time or another.  Jacqueline Lucas, the oldest Dahlman girl, had come to visit him.  She had been in Los Angeles on business and stopped by.  That had been a nice surprise.  He'd forgotten how beautiful all the girls were and had to smile at the wolf whistles Jackie got as she walked down the hallway beside him.  She'd brought him up to date on the family gossip, including the young man that Beck was dating.  Starsky had known for a long time that he and Beck were never meant to be and he was happy that she had found someone she liked.  He just hoped that her almost fiancé deserved her.

 

Perhaps the most important visitor to see him had been a former neighbour of his Aunt Rosie.  John Blaine and his family had lived on the other side of the Starsky's from the Dahlman's.  Blaine was with the Los Angles police force and Starsky had always admired him.  It was during the visit that the idea of Starsky's attending the police academy came up.  Something that he'd thought about often when he first went back to New York but had never done anything about.  Blaine got him thinking that maybe now, maybe after all that he'd been through, that maybe it was a perfect option.  As soon as he was completely healed, Blaine offered to put in a good word for him.  If he still wanted it then.

 

But all of that was down the road.  There were still months of therapy to get through.  Months of had work to get his shoulder and arm back to what they'd been before.  But he was determined to live up to the promise that he'd made over his father's grave all those years ago.

 

A knock on the door alerted him to his Aunt's arrival.  The four man room was all his that morning so he called out "Come in."  He stood as his aunt came into the room and found himself facing a very upset woman.  "Aunt Rosie.  What's the matter?  Is it Uncle Ben?"

 

"No David.  Your uncle's fine.  And so is your mother."  Rosie forestalled his next question.  "I...I don't know quite how to tell you this, David.  I guess the best way is just to say it.  I got a call from Anna Dahlman this morning." 

 

"Mrs. Dahlman?  The twins' mother?"  Starsky felt his blood chill at the lost way his aunt looked at him as she nodded.

 

"Yes.  She wanted me to tell you about Zach.  The poor woman was crying so hard I could hardly understand her."  Rosie reached for Starsky's arm as he swayed a bit.  There could only be one reason Mrs. Dahlman to be calling.  For crying.  "I'm sorry, David.  Zach's helicopter was shot down a week ago and they haven't found him or the rest of the crew.  They've listed him as Missing In Action."

 

Starsky sat down on the edge of the bed.  Rosie sat down beside him and gathered him into her arms.  He rested his head against her shoulder and tried not to cry himself.  Zach.  His friend.  His little brother.  MIA.  It was too hard to believe.  Almost too hard to take.  And with a week gone by with no trace, it was almost a surety that they were either dead or captured.  Starsky buried his face in his aunt's shoulder, wrapped his good arm around her, and wept. 

 

******* 

Hutch found himself staring at Starsky.  His partner's face was still pale and the look in his eyes was one he'd never seen before.  "Starsk?"

 

It took Starsky a minute, and a deep swallow from the glass Anita had placed in front of him before he could speak.  "It's okay, Hutch."  His voice sounded tired.  Turning to look at Zach, Starsky smiled thinly.  "It's okay now.  But that was the longest four weeks of my life."

 

"What happened?"  Hutch could tell his partner was deeply upset and if he'd been sitting beside him, he would have flung a comforting arm around those hunched shoulders.  As it stood, the best he could do was try and put as much affection into his voice as he could.

 

Zach, his eyes never leaving Starsky's, was the one to explain.  "We were shot down over the jungle.  Luckily, the way we were hit I still had some control over the chopper so I was able to set us down without too much problem.  But we were stranded in hostile territory.  We were also lucky that we'd been on our way out and had no patients to worry about.  It was just me and the two medics.  And our gunner.  Medevacs don't usually carry gunners but we had one with us that time.  Thank God."  Zach reached over, picked up Starsky's glass, and took his own long swallow.  "To make a long story short, we were in the jungle hiding from the enemy for two weeks before we found a friendly village.  They took us in, hid us from the Viet Cong, and sent word to the nearest outpost.  But it still took another couple of weeks before our people could get to us.  Fighting was rather heavy right then and the troops were stretched to the limit."

 

Looking between the two, Hutch knew there was more to the story but that he wasn't going to be hearing it.  Some of the men, and women, who had served over there were very forthcoming with their experiences.  Others, like Starsky, wanted nothing more than to put the whole thing behind them and never talked about it.  Over all the years of their friendship and partnership, Starsky had only made passing comments about his tour of duty.  And usually about very non-important things.  This was the first time that Hutch had ever heard the details of Starsky's injury.  He'd only known that his friend had been hurt because he'd asked him once about the scars on his back.  But that was all he knew.  Until now.   

 

In an effort to lighten the mood, Hutch changed the subject.  "You were saying that you're opening up an office in LA.  What kind of transport do you guys do?"

 

The relieved smile that Zach turned on him reinforced his impression of Zach as a man very similar in temperament to his partner.  A man who tried to get as much joy out of his life as possible.  And didn't like to dwell too long on the negative.  "Yeah, we should be set up for business down here by the end of the month.  Just have to get the business licensees and other paperwork approved and we're away.  As for transport, just about anything legal.  We have several different kinds of planes, from a little Otter seaplane right on up to a fairly large cargo plane.  My two partners and I do most of the actual flying but we have a couple of contract pilots working for us too.  I usually do the passenger runs but my new Piper is fitted out for cargo as well."

 

The next hour or so was filled with talk about planes, Seattle, the Dahlman family, and some of Starsky and Hutch's more interesting cases.  War, death, and loss were studiously avoided.  Huggy left the table on occasion to tend to his other customers but he always came back.  The proprietor of Huggy's was probably the partners' closest friend and he was as interested in learning more about the darker half of that team as Hutch was.

 

It was almost midnight when Zach looked at his watch.  "Oh brother, will you look at the time.  I really hate to break this up guys, but I have a seven o'clock flight tomorrow morning and I need to get *some* sleep." 

 

Starsky looked in shock at his own watch, then back at Hutch.  "Yeah, and you and I have to be in court at eight tomorrow."  Looking at Zach, Starsky smiled rather wistfully.  "So, when will you be back?"

 

"In about a week.  I need to find a place to live for when I'm here and get the office set up.  Hire someone to watch the office for us, stuff like that.  And arrange to take you up in my Piper."  Zach laughed at the expression on Starsky's face.  "Aw c'mon, Spud.  You'll like it.  I promise.  No fancy maneuvers, no death-defying spirals.  Just smooth, steady flying.  Hey, you'd go flying with me, wouldn't you, Hutch?"  At Hutch's amused nod, Zach turned back to the still reluctant Starsky.  "See, your partner would go up with me and he just met me.  You're supposed to be my friend ya know." 

 

Hutch couldn't help but laugh at the wheedling tone in Zach's voice.  It was the same one that Starsky used on him whenever he wanted Hutch to do something that Hutch really didn't want to.  "Don't be such a wimp, Starsky.  After all, the man's been flying for how many years and he's still in one piece.  I'll even go with you and hold your hand."

 

Starsky glared at his snickering partner.  "Shut up, Hutchinson.  Okay, I'll go flying with you, Zach.  But only because I know he," Starsky jabbed a thumb towards Hutch, "will never let me live it down if I don't.  But just a short one.  And on a good, calm day.  I mean it."  Starsky was getting more flustered by the minute as his three friends tried their best not to burst out laughing at his mournful face.

 

The trio said their good-byes to Huggy and left to drive Zach back to the precinct to pick up his car.  For some reason, Hutch was not surprised to find that Zach drove a bright red jeep.  Starsky walked around the car, admiring it in the light cast by the streetlamp.  He was running a hand along the front fender in that way that Hutch recognized as his "gee, I wish I had one of these" gestures.  The same one he'd seen Starsky use on model trains, Mexican art, and the black Porsche at his favorite car lot.

 

"Starsky, you're not getting a jeep.  Your driving is bad enough in that glorified soup can.  I don't need you thinking you can get through anything because you're driving a jeep.  Besides, I don't think the department would go for it." 

 

The look Starsky gave him could have peeled paint from a concrete wall.  "Hutch, I'm just looking.  I'm not getting a jeep.  But you have to admit it's got possibilities."  He went back to his appreciation of the jeep.

 

"It's a great little car.  I bought it because I'm always hauling plane parts and other junk around and a regular car would just get wrecked.  Besides, I drove a lot of ones similar to this in Nam and really got to like them.  We've got a delivery van for large jobs but this one's great for some of the places we end up going.  I've got one almost exactly like it back home."  Zach was leaning against the back of the jeep, watching his friend's perusal of his car.

 

"Where are you keeping it while you're in Seattle?"  Starsky asked innocently.

 

"No way, buddy.  There's no way you're going to get me to drive around in that."  Hutch could just envision the two of them bouncing down back alleys and taking the canyon hills in the red jeep. 

 

"I'm just asking, Hutch.  Don't get your shirt in a knot."  Starsky glanced up at Hutch with mischief in his eyes.  "Just was wondering if Zach needed someone to keep an eye on it for him.  You know, put the roof on if it rains.  Make sure it's not left out in the sun.  You know, stuff like that."  His best innocent smile didn't fool Hutch for a minute.

 

"That's okay, Dave.  I leave it in the hanger when I've got the plane.  Don't worry, Hutch.  I won't let Dave borrow it."  Zach fished the keys out of his pocket and got in the jeep.  "I really got to go."  He looked up at the pair standing there.  "It was great meeting you after all these years, Hutch.  Dave's letters are always full of "Hutch did this" and "my partner said that" kind of stuff.  It's good to know that he's got someone like you to look out for him."  Zach's mouth twitched in a mischievous grin.  "He's always needed a bit of a keeper.  Good to know he's got one so qualified this time." 

 

"Zach, if you only knew who needs looking out for in this partnership, you wouldn't be so happy thinking that Hutch was supposed to be doing that for me."  Starsky's own mischievous grin didn't hide the affection in his eyes as he looked at Hutch.  Hutch was glad that his blush didn't show in the blanching light of the streetlamp. 

 

"I'll call you when I get back into LA, Dave.  Maybe I can get you to go apartment hunting with me.  I don’t know the city as well as I used to."  Zach reached a hand out to Starsky and the two of them clasped hands for a minute.  Pulling his hand back, Zach started the engine and put the jeep in gear.  "Bye guys."  With a wave, Zach pulled out of the parking space and speed off down the street leaving the partners to watch his taillights disappear around the corner.

 

The partners were quiet as they walked back to the Torino.  Hutch could tell that Starsky needed a space of time to absorb the events of the evening.  And he needed his own time to come to terms with his own feelings about the reunion.  Hutch cared deeply for his partner.  Loved him even.  Starsky was the best friend he'd ever had and he knew that their friendship was something special.  It bothered him a bit that someone else had shared something similar with Starsky to what they did.  Hutch knew he was being unreasonable, even jealous, and he hated it.  But he couldn't deny what he was feeling.

 

They were almost to Hutch's before Starsky spoke.  "Zach's a great guy, isn't he?"  Something in his voice sounded as if he needed reassurance.  That puzzled Hutch until he realized that Starsky was picking up on his slightly cynical feelings about Zach.  He'd have to learn to hide it better.

 

"Yes he is, Starsk.  But then anyone who you'd be friends with that long would have to be.  You're a pretty good judge of character, partner."  Hutch hoped that his words carried more conviction than he really felt.

 

"Yeah, specially when you consider the present company."  Hutch could hear the smile in Starsky's voice and he felt his cheeks redden again.  He'd walked into that complement with all the finesse of an elephant.

 

He was still trying to find an answer to that one when Starsky pulled up in front of Hutch's building.  Deciding that retreat was his only course of action, Hutch got out of the car.  Leaning back in the open door, he looked at his partner.  "You picking me up or do you want me to drive tomorrow?"

 

"Nah, I'll drive.  It'll be faster than you coming all the way out to my place then back.  I'll be around about seven.  Maybe we can grab some breakfast before we head for court.  It may be a long day."  Starsky leaned across the car seat so he could see Hutch's face.  "Thanks, partner."

 

"For what?"

 

"For being my friend.  Talking about all that stuff tonight made me realize how lucky I am to have good friends.  And how lucky I am that you're the best of them all.  See you tomorrow, Hutch."  Starsky sat back up and took the car out of park.  All Hutch could do was shut the door and stand watching as another set of taillights disappeared in the night.

 

*******

The next weeks were chaotic ones for the partners.  Captain Dobey assigned them to a drug case that ended up taking most of their time and energies.  They found few clues to the identity of the new source of heroin coming into the city or the people responsible.  Most addicts were not used to this purer drug and several deaths occurred because of it.  Frustration set in for Starsky and Hutch when the trail they'd been following back to the source dried up.  Not one of their informants, not even the eminently reliable Huggy, was able to give them a firm lead. 

 

To make life even more frustrating for Hutch was the periodic appearances of Zach into their lives.  Or rather into Starsky's.  Hutch tried to repress the jealousy that he felt whenever Starsky would let him know that he wasn't available to do things with Hutch during their off-duty time because Zach was in town.  But it was hard.  Starsky tried to include Hutch in some of the things the two old friends did but it got to the point that Hutch would beg off, claiming that he had other plans.  Then he'd be mad at himself for having such a dog in a manger attitude. 

 

Hutch tried to tell himself that it wasn't as if the two partners weren't sharing as much time together as they ever did.  That Starsky had the right to have other friends besides him.  But no matter how Hutch berated himself, he still didn't like it.  And that only made him angrier with himself, Zach, and Starsky.  Especially Starsky. 

 

The real problem was that he really did like Zach.  The man was funny, always had an interesting story to tell, and didn't seem to mind being stood up if their work interfered.  And it made Starsky happy when he was around.  That alone should have been enough for Hutch, but still there was something about his partner's boyhood friend that bothered him.

 

It all came to a head one Wednesday afternoon.  They'd had the previous two days off and Starsky had spent them with Zach helping him move into his new apartment.  Hutch had begged off the first day, claiming a nonexistent date.  He knew by the way that Starsky looked at him that his partner didn't believe him for a second.  But Starsky had let him off without a comment.  The next day, Hutch decided that maybe he'd better put in an appearance just to keep the peace.  He would have been better off staying home. 

 

Hutch was distracted; not participating in the running patter the two other men carried on.  He knew that Starsky was watching him.  He'd seen the sideways glances.  But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to get into the right frame of mind.  Little things bothered him.  How was Zach able to afford such a good apartment?  Real estate was going through a bit of a boom right then and even the cheapest places were getting pricey.  And this place was not one of the cheapest.  It was in a better part of the city - even though it was close to the airfield where Zach's company had their office - and the place was large.  The top floor of a duplex, new and bright, it was far better than either of the partners' places.

 

And another thing that bothered him was Zach's new plane.  The first time Zach had come back to LA, he'd taken the partners out to the airfield to show them around his new office and the hanger where he planned on keeping two planes.  The one that was already in residence was the Piper Cherokee Six.  White with red stripes.  (What was it with these two and red?)  Converted from its basic six passenger rating to four seats and a large cargo area, it was an expensive plane.  Zach had even boasted that he had upgraded it from the original 260HP engine to the longer-range 300.  All of which made the plane worth thousands of dollars.

 

Where was Zach getting all the money?  An expensive new plane, a new car, even the apartment.  From what Hutch knew of such things, plane transport companies ran on a shoestring budget.  All of their monies were usually tied up in their planes.  Between fuel costs, hanger rentals, and other operating costs, none of them made tons of money.  But here was Zach, with no other visible means of support, living pretty well off.  And that set off all kinds of bells in Hutch's cop mind. 

 

Trying to find excuses for Zach's apparent high lifestyle, Hutch worked at putting it all out of his mind.  But later that night, after he and Starsky had left Zach to his house organizing, he got thinking about it.  The drug case they were working on preyed on his mind and he started to connect the dots.  The drugs had appeared about the same time that Zach did.  Zach had an expensive, long-range airplane.  Zach seemed to live a pretty expensive lifestyle. 

 

The more Hutch thought about it, the more he tossed the idea around, the more likely it seemed.  Somewhere in the middle of all that thought he came to a conclusion that he really didn’t like.  And decided that for his partner's sake, if not for his own, he needed some answers.  The next morning, Hutch had gone in early and called down to R&I to run a check on Zach and his company, Three Eagles Air.  Something he really wished he hadn't as it turned out.

 

The partners were back in the squadroom after lunch.  They had spent an unproductive morning trying to locate a possible witness in their on-going drug case without success.  Tired, dispirited and more than a little fed up with drug runners the pair were typing up reports.  Hutch had gone down the hall to get both he and his partner some candy-bars and walked back into the squadroom to find Starsky on the phone.  And glaring at him.

 

"Yeah, thanks Steve.  I'll make sure to tell Hutch.  Yeah, right.  Bye."  Starsky settled the receiver back into the cradle with exaggerated care.  He looked down at his desk then back up at Hutch.  "You and I need to talk.  Partner."

 

<Oh Lord.>  Hutch felt his stomach clench.  Steve was in R&I.  The officer that Hutch had just that morning put on the trail of information on Starsky's friend.  The call was one that Hutch should have been there to take.  He watched as Starsky pulled his leather jacket off of the chair and stalked out of the squadroom.  All Hutch could do was grab his own jacket and follow after him.

 

"Starsky...Starsk.  Let me explain."  Hutch reached for his partner's arm but pulled back his hand at Starsky's glare.  Starsky almost took the hall door off of its hinges when he threw it open on his way to the staircase leading to the parking garage.  Hutch barely caught the door as it rebounded off the wall and almost hit him.  <Oh God, he is *mad*.>

 

Reaching the ground level, Starsky barreled through the garage doorway and stalked to his car.  Opening his side first, he got in and pulled up the lock on the passenger side to allow Hutch to get in too.  Barely waiting for Hutch to close the door, Starsky gunned the motor and tore out of the garage as if a pack of demons was on his tail.  The silence in the Torino was thick and dark.  Hutch held on.

 

Starsky said not one word on the long drive.  At least it felt long to the anxious Hutch.  Hutch knew better than to say anything until Starsky did.  It would only make matters worse at this point.  He almost breathed a sigh of relief when the Torino pulled into the parking lot of their favorite park.  Once again, Starsky stalked off and Hutch followed. 

 

Following close behind his partner, Hutch just avoided running into him when Starsky stopped suddenly in the middle of the path.  Standing with his back to Hutch, Starsky stared off across the open field in front of them.  His voice when he finally spoke almost broke Hutch's heart it was so sad. 

 

"What the hell were you trying to prove, Hutch?"

 

Wishing he dared move around to see his partner's face, Hutch was lost for a reply.  He really hadn't been trying to "prove" anything.  At least, he didn't think so.

 

"Why the hell did you call R&I for information on Zach?  On his company?  Have them phone Seattle to check them out?  That was low, Hutch, really low."  Starsky turned around to face Hutch.  The look of betrayal that haunted Starsky's eyes tore a hole in Hutch's heart.

 

"I...well....  Oh hell, Starsky.  I had to know."  He hated the way he stuttered when he got upset. 

 

"Know what, Hutch?  Whether Zach was on the up and up?  Was a criminal?  What?"  Starsky was visibly trying to control his temper.  That only made Hutch feel worse.  He almost would rather have his friend yell at him than use that perplexed wounded voice on him.

 

Suddenly Hutch was angry.  Angry at Starsky for looking at him like that.  Angry at Zach for interfering in his comfortable little friendship with his partner.  And angry at himself for being such an ass.

 

"I was checking him out for you.  Partner."

 

"What are you talking about?  Checking him out for me?  Why for God's sake?" 

 

"I was wondering where all the money was coming from.  That new plane - that ain't cheap, buddy.  That snazzy little car of his and that new apartment.  I wanted to know how he could afford all of it.  If there was something crooked going on, I wanted to find out before it got you into trouble."

 

Starsky stood and stared at him, his mouth hanging open.  "You wanted to find out before it got me into trouble."  He repeated Hutch's words back at him.  "Get me into trouble?  Who do you think you are?  My keeper?  My mother?  Well, you ain't my mother.  I've got one of those.  And you sure as hell ain't my keeper."  He turned and walked a few steps away as if he didn't trust himself standing too close to Hutch.

 

"Starsky, you have to admit that he's living pretty damn good for someone who flies for a living.  Those transport companies usually aren't big moneymakers.  I got curious.  And worried."

 

"If you were so curious, why didn't you ask Zach?  Or me?"

 

"I was afraid to."  Hutch hardly heard his own voice.  Turning away from that stiff figure on the path, Hutch looked up at the sky.  Far up in that blue sky the thin line of a jet trail wavered across the wide expanse. 

 

"Afraid of what?"  Starsky's voice was right beside him.  Looking back down into the blue of his partner's eyes, Hutch didn't know quite how to answer.

 

"Afraid of what I'd find out I guess.  Afraid that you'd tell me to mind my own business.  To go to hell.  Aw, damn it Starsky.  I was afraid that exactly this," Hutch gestured between them, "would happen.  I'd make you mad and....  Well...."  He couldn't say the last words.

 

"That I wouldn't want to be your friend anymore."  So like Starsky to know what he meant to say.  "You big dummy."  Hutch was surprised to see a smile tug at Starsky's mouth.  "You're my best friend.  No matter what you did, I'd never get mad enough at you to want not to be friends anymore.  But I do wish you'd asked me before you involved two police departments in two states."  Starsky pushed his hands into his jeans pockets and stared off across the field again.  "You shouldn't have done that.  I'm really ticked off at you and it's going to take a while for me to stop being mad.  But I will, because I know you did it because you love me and I appreciate it.  Hell, I'd probably do the same thing if the situation was reversed."

 

"I'm sorry, Starsky."

 

"Yeah, I know.  And I'm sorry you felt you had to do it."  Starsky pulled his hand out of his pocket and patted Hutch's arm.  "You want me to tell you what R&I said about Zach and the company?"

 

"Only if you want to."  Hutch was feeling about two inches tall, especially since Starsky was being so forgiving about everything.

 

"Yeah, I want to.  Steve said that the company is totally legitimate as far as the Seattle police are concerned.  There have never been any problems and all of the partners are bonded and have perfect records.  Not even a parking ticket amongst the whole bunch."  Starsky's hand had stopped its patting and now gripped Hutch's elbow.  "You want to ask me what I know about Zach and the money business?"

 

"Yeah." 

 

"The plane is not just Zach's.  It belongs to the company.  Zach's just the one who usually flies it and that kinda makes it his in the eyes of the other partners.  He's responsible for its upkeep and all that stuff.  The car also belongs to the company.  Zach just calls it his because he's part of the company, a full partner, and as such owns it.  And, yeah, the company isn't a huge moneymaker, but it is very successful.  And they have a kinda silent partner.  Another army pilot who can't fly anymore invested money in the company.  He's from a very rich family up in Seattle and wanted to keep his hand in flying even if he can't.  So that's how the company affords new planes."

 

Starsky stepped a little closer to Hutch, just a little.  But it was a world of difference for Hutch.

 

"As for the apartment, it's the only one he could find near the airport.  And he can afford it because he lives with his parents in Seattle.  They fixed up the basement for him so he has his privacy but he doesn’t pay a huge rent or anything up there.  Plus, his grandfather died a few years ago and left all of the kids trust funds.  They're not rich, but the income from it makes things like that apartment a lot easier to afford."  Starsky's voice was patient. 

 

"Oh."

 

"Now that's my Hutch.  Always articulate.  You know if you'd asked me, I would have told you anything.  Even if something was wrong, which it isn't, I would have told you.  You're my partner, Hutch.  I don't have any secrets from you."

 

"I know."

 

"And I know what you feel towards Zach."  Hutch turned to look in astonishment at Starsky.  He thought he'd hidden his emotions better than that.  Starsky laughed a little bitterly at Hutch's expression.  "Oh, Hutch.  You sure don't do jealousy well."  Starsky used the hand on Hutch's arm to turn him so they were standing face to face.  "I don't know who betrayed your friendship in the past, Hutch.  I probably don't want to know or I might have to go and punch their lights out.  But understand this.  As fond as I am of Zach, our friendship doesn’t come anywhere near what you and I have.  Yeah, Zach and I have a history.  We were best friends when we were kids and I still think of him as a brother.  But he'll never mean as much to me as you do.  I trust you with my life, Hutch.  I trust you more than anyone else in my life.  Hell, I even trust you more than my own mother.  Zach and I will never have that."

 

Starsky sighed and looked away.  "I know I don't say it.  It's something I find very hard to say out loud, but I do love you.  You’re my partner, my best friend, and I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life anymore.  So, if you start feeling jealous of the time I spend with Zach, just remember that.  I could live without Zach, I wouldn't like it, but I could.  But I don't think I could live without you."

 

Hutch felt as if Starsky had given him a wonderful gift.  An undeserved gift.  Gripping Starsky's arms with his hands, Hutch made him look at him.  "I'm sorry, Starsky, that I acted the way I did.  And, yes, I am jealous of Zach.  I'm ashamed by that, but there it is.  You and he share a part of your life that I never will.  I know it's stupid to feel that way but you're so much a part of my life that I guess I forget sometimes that you had a life before I met you.  Just like I had one before you met me.  I'll try to keep that ugly part of myself under better control."  Hutch tried a smile, but knew he failed miserably.

 

"I really do like Zach.  He's a good guy.  And like I said, if he wasn't he wouldn't be your friend.  If you notice me acting like an ass again, will you promise to slug me or something?"

 

"You got it, Hutch.  Now I think we'd better get back to work or Dobey will have both our asses in a sling."  Starsky grinned at Hutch and pulled him into a quick hug.  Slapping him on the back, Starsky let him go and started to walk back to the Torino, Hutch right beside him.  "Just don't forget that I'm still mad at you.  And I plan on staying mad for a while, so don't expect me to be nice to you for the next day or so."

 

"I won't forget.  Would a little bribery help you get over your mad?"  Hutch asked with a relieved smile on his face.

 

"It might.  What'cha got in mind?"  The two of them walked back to the car with Hutch trying to come up with something that Starsky felt was fair recompense for his "mad".  And Hutch was glad to pay any price to the man who considered him his best friend in the world.

 

*** 

 

Reunion III

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