Foolish Acts, Part 9
Caught You Dreaming

Joey smoothed the front of her black skirt, eyes moving sadly over the velvet. Bessie had worn this dress to her mother's funeral, and for a while had been reluctant to hand it over. Unfortunately, though, it had been needed, and once again, the dress was worn in mourning.

Jen's grandfather had been a friend of her grandfather. They'd gone out for a drink every Friday until he died. Two years later, Jen's grandfather had had his first stroke. He'd always had suckers for Joey when she was younger. She sighed, saddened once again.

The ride to the church was long and quiet. Joey spent the entire time looking out the window while Alex mumbled beside her. As they neared their destination, she could see Pacey sitting on the bottom step, his arms folded atop his knees. A frown was twisting his lips and Joey sighed.

Bessie parked the truck and unstrapped Alex and the three of them made their way to the front door. Pacey stood up to join them, and Bessie smiled her hello, walking on ahead of them.

He was wearing a suit. It was probably the first time in a year or two that Joey had seen him in a suit. The sharp white contrasted with the black and set off his slight tan. His eyes hadn't left her face and she smiled tightly, remembering too well the last time she'd been in this building. They turned to enter and his fingers brushed against hers. Instinctively, she reached out, catching two in her hand. The tips scraped against her palm and they walked through the doors, the fragrance of a thousand lilies striking their senses.

A Couple Hours Later

The people began filing out of the sanctuary, handkerchiefs and Kleenex ready and clutched in their fingers. Joey leaned back against the pew, sighing heavily. Pacey stretched his arm over the back of the pew and leaned her against his shoulder. The first tear slipped over her cheek and was soon followed by another and soon, she was sobbing against his shoulder. His other arm came up around her back and Pacey held Joey against him, turning in his seat to rub her back. Her thin frame shook in his arms and he stroked her hair, barely touching the silky strands.

"I miss her so much..." Pacey closed his eyes and pressed his nose into her hair, whispering back to her.

"I know you do, sweetie." She tightened her hold around his neck, her tears subsiding slowly. When she sat back, crossing her ankles, her cheeks were streaked with salty tears and her dress was a bit wrinkled. She reached out and rubbed at the wet spot on the shoulder of Pacey's jacket and made a face.

"Sorry about this. I'm sure we can get it cleaned if you want." He shook his head and waved off the rest of her sentence.

"Don't worry about it." He looked down at his tie. "I don't wear it that often anyway." She gave a wavery smile and he grinned at her. Once again, their fingers found each other and the smiles fell from their lips. His thumb rubbed the underside of her wrist and Joey turned, curling a leg under her while facing him.

His other hand moved to her knee, stroking through the fabric. His eyes were hooded and when her fingers tightened on his, he looked up into her eyes. He opened his mouth to speak and across the room, a voice interrupted them.

"Jo?" Her head came up, eyes searching until they fell on the blonde head of hair across the room. She sprang out of the pew as he walked closer and Pacey stood up behind her as she walked into the aisle.

"Dawson? What are you doing here?"

"We came back early for the funeral." He walked up and put his arms around her. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Of course I am. I'm just a little surprised, that's all." Surprised? That doesn't cover half of what I'm feeling.

Pacey walked up and put a hand on Dawson's back. The pair separated and the two boys grinned at each other.

"Nice to see you, D. How was Boston?"

"It was great. They're having another convention in a couple months and I think I'll go back." He turned his head toward the door. "But, I think I should go see how Jen is. Have you guys talked to her yet?" Joey guiltily looked away.

"Not exactly." He frowned as Pacey mumbled something similar.

"Well, I guess I'll go find her. She probably needs a friend now." He noticed the pained looks cross the faces of his friends. Dawson pulled away from the group and waved as he walked toward the door.

Joey crossed her arms angrily, and slid into a pew. Running her fingers through her hair she sighed.

"Ok, I feel like shit now." Pacey leaned against the back, his back touching her head.

"Yeah, I know how you feel." He swallowed. "Listen, I think I'm going to go home. Do you want a ride anywhere?" Joey leaned her chin on her arms, staring at the flower arrangement.

"Sure. I've gotta go tell Bessie though." Pacey nodded silently. As she walked away, he put his hands in his pockets, slowly pacing. Slowly, his eyes moved to the cross hanging from the ceiling and a scowl moved quickly over his face. I know, I know.... He covered his face with his hands and then ran his fingers through his hair, leaving it standing up in little spikes. His mouth frowned and when he escorted Joey to his mother's car, they both were wearing a similar expression.

Once again, Pacey parked the car in Joey's driveway. His hands were glued to the wheel, his fingers flexing. Joey was curled up next to him, her feet tucked under her, her body twisted so that it was facing him. But she wasn't asleep, her eyes weren't even closed. They were focused on him, and he felt it. He felt her eyes burning paths to him, seeking his gaze. He glanced out the window and saw her in his rearview mirror. She smiled and the muscle in his cheek twitched. He twisted his head towards her and their eyes locked. He turned in his seat, and pressed back against the door.

"So, this is how it is." He licked his lips and continued. "This," he paused for emphasis, "can't happen. Not any more."

We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you
Both of us trying to be strong

"As much as I want it to...it can't. I mean, just the basic principle of cheating on bestfriends and girlfriends is bad, but what we felt in the church was just wrong. It couldn't possibly get any more wrong."

"Then, we can't ever be alone." They looked at each other, and Joey continued. "We can't, because I can't trust myself when I see you looking at me like that." He turned away. "I just...this is all mixed around inside me, and," she looked away. "And, I'm feeling things that I have absolutely no right to be feeling." Pacey looked at her, an expression of confusion mixed with something deeper taking over his face.

Even though I love
Someone else I know my heart belongs to you
Tell me how did we
Ever let the situation get this far

She went on. "And when we're together, even when you sit next to me like this, I feel like I'm betraying Dawson. Like I'm not loving him as much as I should." Pacey interrupted her.

"It's not only that...I think the fact that we forgot about Jen today at the church proves that we aren't responsible enough to deal with this. And that alone, is a good enough reason to stop this now." Beside him, Joey sunk her teeth into her lower lip, trying not to cry. His hand found hers and squeezed, once. "I'm not saying that I don't want this. That would definitely be untrue and I dislike liars, immensely. So, maybe you'd just better go inside." She looked up, confused. "It's time." He swallowed, looking away. Her fingers tightened around his and Pacey licked his lips, and turned to the window. "It's time. I'll see you tomorrow in school."

"Alright, if that's what you want."

"We both know it's not what I want. But it's what has to be done." He withdrew his hand and Joey opened her door, slid her legs out and looked back.

He wanted to kiss her. He wanted it more than he wanted anything. And the way she looked at him then, he knew she wanted it too. But he started the car, and she shut the door. Pacey watched Joey walk up the steps and enter her house, and drove away.

Ten minutes later, Joey was in her boat, rowing across the creek to Dawson's. As she ran up the dock, it began to sprinkle, and by the time she was at his window, the rain was coming down hard. Her hair was plastered against her face as she let herself in. She sat on Dawson's bed and pulled her knees up to her chest. A shudder passed through her body as she leaned against the headboard. After buring her face in her arms, she let a sob escape. Oh, God...How could this have gotten so out of hand...

An hour later, Dawson walked into his bedroom and found Joey sleeping in a ball by his headboard He smiled, turned out the lights, and sat down at his desk. He turned on the computer and with a last look at the brunette in his bed, he began to write.

Thanx and credit goes to Jennifer Lopez, 98Degrees for the use of their lyrics.