Clouds Passed
Part 2
by: Venusian Girl

Cliff pulled up in front of Jen and Dawson’s adjacent houses and let them out. As he drove away Dawson and Jen stood on Jen’s front porch sheltered from the drizzly rain looking at each other. Dawson desperately wanted to say something to her. Anything, just so she would stay out there with him a few moments longer.

He wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked with the moon shining on her hair, he wanted to tell her that he wished they’d never broken up but then Jen suddenly cried, ‘Hey, isn’t that Joey and Pacey over there?’ and the spell was broken.

Dawson spun round to look at the two figures limping towards the house. They stepped up onto Jen’s porch and Dawson said sarcastically: ‘Thanks for the lift Pacey, Jen and I had to.......what the hell happened to you, Joey?’

‘Warren, that’s what happened,’ Pacey interjected angrily at Dawson. ‘If you had been paying attention to your friends instead of moping around after Miss Goldilocks here, none of this would have happened!’

‘Don’t you bring Jen into this Pacey or I’ll make you regret it!’

‘GUYS!’ Jen shouted. ‘Why don’t you go next door and sort this out so that I can speak to Joey in peace?’

‘Fine with me!’

‘Save it for later, Dawson. I have to go and get my dad’s car. I left it at the beach.’ Pacey stomped away and Dawson huffily climbed the ladder to his room.

After Dawson had gone, Jen motioned for Joey to sit on the porch step beside her.

‘I know you and I haven’t always been best of friends, Joey, but now that Dawson and I have broken up I figured we could get to know each other better.’ Joey nodded and Jen went on: ‘You know I’m gonna be here for you, Jo. Is there anything you’d like to talk to me about?’ Joey looked helplessly at Jen for a minute and suddenly the horror of that evening hit her like a ton of bricks and she started to cry. Jen hugged her and closed her eyes. She had just realized that perhaps there really was a frightened person underneath Joey’s intimidating exterior.

‘Warren did this to you right?’ Jen asked. Joey nodded, her face still pressed against Jen’s shoulder.

‘He......he ..........he tried to....."
‘Ssshhhhh. I know, I know.’ Jen said quietly into Joey’s hair. ‘When I was in New York, guys used to try that on with me all the time. They thought I was some kind of slut. Maybe I was. I sure made some stupid mistakes.’

Joey looked up. ‘Don’t believe that Jen. I know I’ve told you were a slut before but.....but I never meant it. I .... I ....just....’

‘It’s OK Joey. The important thing is that you don’t let yourself think it was your fault or that you deserved it. Don’t let yourself be isolated from your family because you’re consumed with guilt.’

Joey began to wonder if it was really herself they were discussing now. Whether Jen meant to or not she had opened up a vulnerable part of her life to Joey and Joey appreciated Jen’s trust. The two girls hugged and then Jen asked Joey if she wanted to sleep over.

‘I sort of promised Dawson I would sleep over with him tonight, Jen, but thanks for offering.’

Jen smiled. ‘OK Joey, but maybe before you go you might wanna freshen up. You look a mess.’ Joey smiled and went to clean her blood and tear stained face in Jen’s bathroom. When she looked a bit better she said goodnight to Jen and went to Dawson’s ladder. She still felt shaky but she was touched at the sides of Pacey and Jen that she had seen tonight and never known before.

*******

Dawson was lying in bed with the lights off when he heard Joey climbing the ladder to his room. He had his back to the window but he could hear her tiptoe round to her side of the bed. She thought he was asleep and Dawson decided to give her a fright by leaping up and shouting boo when she got into bed. She was such a scaredy cat, he knew it would work. But there was something so hesitant about the way she climbed onto the bed that Dawson decided to peek his eyes open to check it really was Joey. He wasn’t expecting what he saw when he did. Joey was curled on his bed with her eyes shut. Her face was ghostly white and a tear glistened on her cheek. He could tell by her breathing that she was asleep. She must have been exhausted. Dawson didn’t know whether to wake her up and talk to her or just to leave her. The night was freezing so eventually Dawson pulled a sheet over her and tried to sleep himself.

*******

It was almost 4 am when Pacey pulled into the driveway with the engine running at a low growl. He was surprised to find his front door unlocked. He tiptoed into the house. ‘Oh, hi dad, you didn’t have to wait up.’ Pacey laughed nervously as he stood before the towering frame of his father.

‘Sit down!’ Mr. Witter indicated the stairs. Pacey sat and his father joined him. Mr. Witter’s voice was low and commanding as he lectured Pacey. ‘Now I don’t know who you think you are but I’ll tell you what everyone else thinks. Everyone else thinks you are a loser. The class clown. The village idiot. There has to be something that has made you into the insolent little jerk that you are but I can’t figure out what it is. It isn’t me or your mom; we’ve raised four other kids who have turned out perfectly OK. I’d love to be able to blame your loser friends but even they seem to be doing all right for themselves. It must be you. If you got off your lazy ass and put some work in maybe I wouldn’t have to read report card after report card all saying what an idiot you are.’

Pacey opened his mouth to defend himself but his father started up again.

‘Where were you tonight, huh?! Out getting drugged up at some drunken party? I know you took the jeep, Pacey. You’re nothing but a criminal. Even the gutter is too good a refuge for you. And are you aware that it is illegal to drive with the head lights off? You think I can’t see you creep down the street in my jeep in the dark? You’re more stupid that you look Pacey.’

Pacey shook his head and sighed. ‘I don’t need this, man.’ He got up to go but Mr. Witter grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down again. He spit the words at Pacey.

‘What you need is a damned good kicking. Why can’t you be more like Doug? He told me about the fuss you and that Potter girl were kicking up in the early hours this morning. It’s a criminal offense to waste police time. That’s all you are, Pacey. A waste of time and a waste of space. Get out of here before the rest of the house wakes up.’

Pacey stood up and traipsed up the stairs to his room. He sat on his bed. He felt crushed inside. Cold fingers of pain gripped at his heart and his stomach twisted in knots. He remembered the time he had overheard his father discussing what a loser he was with Doug. Mr. Witter had said to Doug: ‘At least I still have you.’ That had hurt but this was a thousand times worse. Pacey knew to the depths of his soul that his father was right. This soul shattering revelation had changed the way he looked at life. He finally could see himself as others did and boy did the truth hurt.

*******

The morning light slid in Jen’s window and licked across her skin. She woke up, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face. Then she heard a soft splash out on the creek. She sat up in bed and looked out the window. Joey was rowing away from the dock. It was only 8 am. Jen figured she must have an early shift at the Ice house. She got up, showered and dressed and went downstairs. Her Grams was getting ready to go out to church. It was Sunday.

‘Are you sure you don’t want to come with me Jennifer?’ Mrs. Ryan asked. Jen smiled and shook her head. She was amused by her Grams’ persistence. Mrs. Ryan sighed mildly and left the house. Jen ate some breakfast then went over to Dawson’s. He was still asleep in bed. Jen went over and shook him. ‘Wake up sleepy head,’ she called. Dawson groaned. ‘Leave me alone, Joey,’ he mumbled. ‘Hey, it’s Jen. Rise and shine’ Jen said shaking him again. Dawson sat up quickly, rubbing his eyes. He was embarrassed at letting Jen see him when he had just woken up.

‘Where’s Joey?’ he asked, looking around.

‘Uh, she left ages ago. She must be working today’

‘Oh. What’s her deal anyway? She hasn’t spoken to me since yesterday afternoon.’

Jen bit her lip. ‘Maybe you should be talking to her about it.’

‘Oh. OK. Um.....Jen,.......would you like to come round tonight to watch some movies or something?’

‘Sure, Dawson. 7 OK?’

Dawson nodded and Jen took this as her cue to leave.

*******

It was after lunch time when Jen was passing Screenplay video and decided to go in and see Pacey. He was in the back watching a movie.

‘Hey,’ she said from the doorway. Pacey didn’t move. ‘Hey Pacey, aren’t you going to say hi?’

Pacey still stared blankly ahead of him. Jen was alarmed. ‘Pacey, are you Ok?’

Without taking his eyes of the screen, Pacey spoke slowly. ‘ Jen, when did my life start to deteriorate huh? Have I always been one big joke? I thought......I thought it was....all some kind of....a game I suppose.’ Pacey’s voice was beginning to crack. Jen said hesitantly, ‘I’m not quite sure what you mean.....’

Pacey sighed. ‘You know, like in all the movies. There’s your typical good guy who everyone loves and who is oblivious to it all until some event opens up his eyes. Then there’s your feisty heroine who always gets the guy in the end. And then there’s the comedian. The loser. The joke. The guy who’s supposed to offer some light comic relief but is really there to stir up some crap between the good guys. Dawson.....Dawson’s so analytical...... he lives in his films and I laughed at him for it....but ironically .......I guess...I’m, I’m no different. I thought that if I was going to be included, going to be a part.....any part of what’s eating my life away.....I would have to fit in. I thought I had to be one of those....those stereotypical images. I have no control over my life. Hell, I don’t even have my own identity. My dad showed me that last night. He hates my guts. He’s another one of your typical movie characters. Why do I get the crap role huh?’ his voice dropped to a whisper. ‘Jen I don’t know how to be myself anymore. I don’t know who I am. I know what everyone else thinks I am. My dad thinks I’m a waste of space, my brother thinks I’m a mad rapist, my sisters think I’m a home wrecker and my mom thinks I’m a problem child. Dawson hates me after our argument last night, you probably think I’m pathetic and, Joey. Huh. We all know what Joey thinks of me.’ Pacey swiveled round in his chair to look at Jen. The expression on his face was almost as bitter as his tone of voice. His eyes were red-rimmed. It looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Instinctively Jen ran over and hugged him.

*******

‘You did what?’ Dawson cried down the phone to Jen.

‘Well, Pacey is our friend, Dawson. He was really low. Besides, you and him need to sort out some things. He’s pretty upset about your verbal conflict last night. I didn’t think you would mind if I asked him to come watch some movies with us tonight.’

‘Yeah, but...’ Dawson knew his attempts would be futile. There was no way he could just come out and tell Jen that he loved her. No way he could tell her that he wanted to spend some time alone with her. Tell her he wanted tonight to be special. Dawson sighed. ‘Oh, all right.’ He conceded. At the other end of the line Jen smiled. ‘I tried to phone Joey too but no one picked up. At the Icehouse Bessie said Joey wasn’t working today. I thought she was maybe over at your house, Dawson. We can’t just leave her out.’

‘Yeah, I know. She was maybe asleep when the phone rang. Alex has been keeping her awake recently. ‘I’ll go over and see her. I need to talk to her anyway.’

Jen was pleased Dawson was going to talk to Joey. He was so oblivious towards her sometimes it even hurt Jen to just stand by and watch. Hopefully Joey would confide in Dawson about Warren, that is, if Dawson still hadn’t figured it out like Jen had.

********

Dawson tied his boat up at the dock and walked towards Joey’s house. It was only seven thirty but already it was getting dark. There were no lights on in the Potter home. Dawson was going to turn round and go back but something stopped him. There was a little worry niggling at his heart. What was up with Joey? He thought back to last night. The tear glistening on her cheek in the moonlight. She was hurting about something. And her face......it was all scratched. She was bleeding. Someone had hurt his Joey. What was it Pacey had said? ‘Warren, that’s what happened’? Fear mingled with Dawson’s confusion. Suddenly he knew he had to run. Fast.

He ran straight to the window of Joey’s home, knowing that the door would be locked. He banged on the glass shouting her name frantically. There was no movement in the house but Dawson could sense that Joey was inside. He ran back to the door and ran his hand across the top of the door frame. The cold spare key fell into his palm. Fumbling with the lock, Dawson opened the door and stepped inside.

Joey was crouched on the carpet beside the couch that served as her bed. She had pulled her knees up to her chest and was hugging them. Dawson could only see half her face in the poor light that illuminated the room. It was wet with salty tears. The coldness of the room, the darkness of her fear, the aching of her tears, all. All hit Dawson with such an impact that his breath was taken away. The truth behind her solitary pain hit him hard. Perhaps for the first time in years, he understood all without having to ask. ‘Joey,’ he breathed.

*******

The four friends sat in Dawson’s room watching a movie. Joey looked at her friends. The broken light from the TV caused eerie shadows to flicker momentarily across their faces. Jen had been so kind to her. Joey couldn’t figure out why. She had tried her hardest to make Jen feel unwelcome and yet Jen seemed to have put it behind her. It was almost frustrating. How could Dawson ever fall for Joey if Jen was always showing how great she was compared to her? Joey wasn’t sure she even liked Dawson that way anymore. Recently their relationship seemed to have been changing. It was like they were on two different plains. Dawson was infatuated with Jen. He hadn’t had anytime for Joey at all, on the odd occasion when he noticed her presence they had talked about Jen or Steven Speilburg. But then a few hours ago he had come to her house and she had talked to him, really talked to him, and he had listened. It was an aspect of their friendship that she had missed. Their ability to communicate deeply with each other had slowly faded with the appearance of Jen. That was what it was all about with Dawson, Jen.

Then there was Pacey. Too many weird things were going on with him right now. Yesterday she had seen a completely different side of him, as corny as it sounded, it was true. But today Pacey seemed kinda distant, like he didn’t want to be there. She knew he was having trouble at home and he looked really rough. She didn’t really know where she stood with him. They had this kind of love/hate relationship thing going on. She really liked him, the put down’s were just a defense mechanism, weren’t they? Maybe Pacey didn’t like her. She didn’t know if she could handle that. Joey mentally kicked herself. I can’t be falling for Pacey can I? He had been there for her during that whole Warren thing.

That Warren thing. How was she going to cope with going to school tomorrow. How could she look at him again without reliving last night? Dawson told her at her house that he’d keep her safe. Yeah right. Dawson doesn’t even know me any more. Suddenly Joey knew that she couldn’t stand the madness any more. The turmoil inside her was threatening to kill her. She had to do something to sort this mess of a life out and fast. What sort of crazy existence is this anyway?

The movie ended and Jen stood up. ‘I gotta go now.’ She wanted to get away from all the tension between them She was disappointed that her plan to get everyone together hadn’t really worked.

‘No wait,’ Dawson said. ‘Why don’t we, um, go up and sit on the roof. It’s so nice tonight....If you want to that is.’

Pacey put his hand to his head. How dorky did Dawson sound? Man, he needed help.

‘Um, no. My grams will want me home. See ya tomorrow.’

Dawson felt dejected.

‘Why don’t we just all go up to the roof without her?’ Joey offered. The guys reluctantly agreed.

Pacey sat staring up at the stars. Dawson and Joey were conversing quietly behind him. Here he was back into third wheel mode again. That was him. If he couldn’t be a person he might as well be a number. Fifth child in a family where four was enough. He looked at the moon. It’s silver fingers stroked his face. If only the moon would take him up, away from this world....... Pacey became aware of some scraping behind him. Dawson was getting up. He had seen Jen sitting by the dock staring into the water. ‘I have to go see her,’ he explained. ‘Maybe she’s had a fight with her grams.’ Pacey looked away again, out onto the creek. He could see Jen’s lonely figure. A few seconds later he saw Dawson running over to join her.

Pacey turned to Joey. He knew they had to talk. He knew Joey was still scared. He wanted her to share it with him but he didn’t know if he could cope with her problems as well has his own. He didn’t want Joey to think he didn’t care about her, nothing could be further from the truth, he needed her but he felt like he couldn’t cope anymore.

Joey looked at the haunted expression in Pacey’s eyes. She was frightened. She couldn’t take it anymore. The tension was so great, she knew that they were only moments away from when it would snap.

*******

Dawson was sitting beside Jen on the dock. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘Thank you for being here for me. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to always be moaning to you about my grams, it’s just, she’s so frustrating at times, ya know?’ Dawson nodded sympathetically as Jen continued, ‘You’ve been a really great friend to me. I really appreciate it.’ Dawson winced. The word ‘friend’ was like rubbing salt in a wound.

‘Actually, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about, Jen. I’ve been thinking a whole lot recently and.....’ he was interrupted by shouts from the roof of his house. Jumping up, the pair spun round to see what was going on. It was dark but on the roof they could make out two standing silhouettes. One was standing on the edge of the roof, the other further back with their arm stretched out. Dawson could feel the horror sticking in his throat. Jen’s mouth was open in disbelief. She was afraid to move from the dock in case that pushed her friend over the edge, literally. Two high pitched, delirious sounding voices of Dawson’s best friend’s jabbed through the air.

‘Please, Please don’t do this to me!’ one of the figures screamed. ‘I need you, please!’

‘Stay back!’ the other one cried hysterically.

‘I know your scared but please, please don’t jump. It’s not worth it!’

‘Isn’t it? Isn’t it?! What have I got to live for huh?! I’m a social outcast. I have nobody. You hear me? Nobody! Nobody cares, nobody loves me!’ The figure hovered dangerously near the edge now. Dawson and Jen could clearly see it’s outline trembling with sobs and anger.

‘Jesus, you sound like a child now! I care! I love you! I’ll be here for you!’ The silhouette edged forward, arm still outstretched. ‘Please, come back!’

‘Quit messing with my head! You don’t love me! Keep away from me! I can’t take this!’

Dawson watched his friend who was going to jump.... if they didn’t fall first. He cried out desperately into the night : ‘Don’t do it!’

The figure looked down at Dawson and Jen on the ground. They were a long way off. ‘Go to hell Dawson! I mean it! I’m gonna jump!’ The ground seemed to be swaying. The other person on the roof whispered, ‘Please don’t do it. Don’t make me come and pull you back from the edge.’ Silence. The pair of wild flashing eyes glinted. Nothing was making sense.

Suddenly some clouds barged in front of the moon. All was dark. All was quiet. Jen heard Joey scream, heard a thump, and screamed also. Then Dawson gasped, the scene came into view again, the clouds passed.