The elevator door slid open, and she started down the hallway to McClanahan's suite. Rapping softly at his door, she stepped inside when she heard a muffled "Enter".
McClanahan was wearing a pair of reading glasses low on his nose, scowling at some papers on his desk. Glancing up from his work, he did a double take when he recognized Kacie, a look of pleased wariness crossing his face. Setting down his pen, he leaned back in his chair and removed his glasses. Looking at her expectantly, he drawled, "We-l-l. So you're speaking to me again?"
Kacie dropped her eyes and scuffed her toe at the plush carpeting before looking up at him again. "I was pretty awful, wasn't I?"
"Let's just say that you don't have my vote for 'most congenial nurse of the year'."
She chewed on her lip nervously a moment. "I came to apologize -- and to thank you."
He waited for her to continue, making no comment.
"I wanted to thank you for being such a wonderful doctor, and taking care of Peter the way you did. I saw his charts. I know how many times you stopped in to check on him when you didn't have to."
"No thanks necessary," he said gruffly. "Just doing my job."
She smiled at him, her gratitude glowing in her eyes. "I know better. I -- OW!" She doubled over when an agonizing cramp jolted through her pelvic region.
"Kacie? What's wrong?" The doctor moved quickly around his desk to go to her side.
Her face was like chalk, and her eyes bulged against the intensity of her pain. "I...don't know," she gasped. "All of a sudden I got the worst cramp -- OH!!" She crumpled to the floor and curled into a ball, whimpering involuntary cries of pain.
McClanahan grabbed his phone and snapped into the receiver, "Get a gurney to McClanahan's office and alert OB/GYN I'm bringing down an emergency patient."
He hung up and knelt by the figure writhing on his floor. As he tried to comfort Kacie, he noted the widening crimson stain spreading down the inseams of her jeans.
Kacie was dressed in a hospital gown, and her lower
body was draped in a sheet. Dr. Albin finished conducting
his pelvic exam. His face was solemn and his voice was
full of compassion as he announced, "I'm sorry, Kacie.
The ultrasound showed no evidence of fetal life
functions. I'm afraid you're miscarrying."
One arm was under her head and the other thrown over her eyes. "I didn't know," she said dully. "I didn't know I was..." Her voice cracked and broke. {A baby. I was carrying Peter's baby.}
"Do you have any idea of how far along you were?"
"No. My-my last period was a couple months ago, but I've never been regular."
"I want to do a D & C, just to make sure there's no complications down the road for you. Is there anyone we can call to be with you?"
"No." The answer was harsh and short. "I don't want anyone outside this medical staff to know about this. My husband is barely off a respirator after being in ICU for ten days. He is NOT to be told about this." {Oh, God. I was going to have a baby.}
Dr. Albin was frankly disapproving. "But, Kacie, someone should..."
"I SAID NO!" Kacie's voice rose shrilly and she half sat up. "This is my business, and no one else's, and if I find out that any of you has violated my right to confidentiality, I will sue this hospital and every one of you involved!" {Peter will think it was the accident. He'll blame himself. He'll get all worked up. He can't know. He can't find out.}
"All right. All right. Calm down." McClanahan stepped forward from a corner of the room. He moved to Kacie's side and gently pushed her shoulders back down to the table.
Another cramp struck and she jerked spasmodically. "Just do what you have to do and get it over with," she moaned. {It's already over. My baby is dead.}
"General anesthetic?" Albin suggested.
"Spinal." She stared at the ceiling and swallowed around the rock in her throat. {A baby. Oh, God, a baby.}
"You're going to have one hell of a headache later," McClanahan warned gently.
"I don't care." {I want to feel some other pain instead of the one in my heart.}
"You're sure about all this?" McClanahan took one of her cold, shaking hands in his. She slowly turned her eyes to meet his direct stare, and the grief he saw reflected in blue eyes now dark with anguish caused his throat to tighten.
"Just get it over with." {A baby. There was a baby.}
The procedure took about twenty minutes once the anesthetic had taken effect.
As Dr. Albin finished, he spoke quietly to Kacie. "I want to see you in two weeks for a follow-up exam. I should have the lab results of the tissue scrapings by then."
Kacie lay with her arm covering her eyes, and the other hand tightly clutching McClanahan's. She had cried quietly through the surgery; the only sounds had been her infrequent sniffling as she swallowed her sobs, and the clinking of the various instruments.
Albin continued to speak as he and a nurse finished the cleaning up phase of the procedure. "I want you to stay off your feet for a day or so. You'll probably experience some mild cramping and vaginal bleeding, and it's likely you'll have some low back pain, too."
She showed no sign that she had heard his words, other than the tightening of her grip on the hand that held hers.
The two doctors locked stares, and after McClanahan nodded slightly, Albin went on. "I want you on a week's prescription of Augmentin. I'll send some with you from the pharmacy. You'll need to abstain from intimate relations with your husband for a time, and..."
"I know the rest. Could I please just go to a room now?" {Leave me alone. I just want to be alone.}
Albin moved Kacie to a room on a regular floor, away from obstetrics, at her insistence. McClanahan stayed to see her settled as comfortably as possible.
He was about to leave on his rounds, when she put a hand on his arm to stop him. "I need you to help me."
"I won't lie for you," he said gravely. "Especially about something like this."
"Peter is expecting me to come back and see him. He'll be wondering why I've been away so long."
"You're not getting out of this bed until tomorrow morning at the earliest. End of discussion."
"I want a shot of something to put me out. You can tell him I got a bad headache after I left your office, that it was bad enough for you to give me a painkiller. You thought I needed the rest after being so stressed out for so long. And that I'll see him in the morning. You won't be telling a lie."
"I won't be telling the truth, either."
"Will you do this for me? Please?"
"I still think you should..."
"Please. I have the headache, and I need something for the pain. If you go talk to Peter, he won't worry as much. I don't want anything to set back his recovery. Not anything."
McClanahan stared down at the figure huddled on the bed. "All right. We'll play it your way. I don't like it, not one bit. And I won't lie to a direct question."
"I wouldn't ask you to."
The doctor stepped from the room and returned in a few moments, accompanied by a nurse carrying a tray with an alcohol swab and syringe. Kacie exposed her hip to the woman, who gave her the injection, quietly picked up her supplies, and left the room.
"Do you need anything else?" McClanahan asked gently.
"No." Her voice was lifeless. "I don't want to to think or feel for a few hours. I just want to be left alone now."
He laid a hand on her head briefly, and stepped quietly from the room, shaking his head. "This is a mistake," he muttered to himself.