Taking down a box from the closet shelf, he removed his hat and a pair of white gloves. Folding the gloves under the belt of his uniform, he placed the hat on his head, checking his reflection in the mirror. His hazel eyes were darkened to a somber brown, and his normally animated face was set in grim lines. {I hate funerals. Especially a cop's funeral. I wish Carla hadn't asked me to be a part of the honor guard.} He frowned in the direction of the closed bathroom door. {Kacie's been too quiet these past few days. I know Carla has needed support, but I hate what it's doing to Kace.}
Peter took off his hat and tucked it under his arm before knocking softly on the door and letting himself into the bathroom.
Kacie was putting on lipstick with a not quite steady hand. She was dressed in a dark navy suit and a plain white silk blouse, the diamond-studded necklace Peter had given her the only relief to the stark severity of her attire. Her eyes were huge and dark with a nameless emotion, and the only other color to her face was from the makeup she had applied, makeup that she normally never needed. She wore her hair down, free from the customary braid she wore when working, and the dark waves cascaded down her shoulders and back.
She raked a hand through her hair, unconsciously imitating Peter's characteristic gesture. Glancing at him in the mirror, she asked tensely, "Is it time to go?" Her voice was as tight and strained as her expression.
"Soon as you're ready." Peter studied her face worriedly and walked over to hug her from behind, resting his cheek against hers. "Are you all right, Hon?"
Putting her arms over the top of his, she leaned back into his solid presence. "I'm fine." Taking a shaky breath, she let it out slowly. He kissed her cheek as he held her closely. They shared another long look in the mirror before she pulled out of his arms and took his hand in hers, entangling their fingers. Her voice came out a hoarse whisper. "Let's go."
The other members of the honor guard sat stone-faced, and Peter found himself wondering if the same thoughts were running through their minds. {That could be me. Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. What makes me so sure that my wife won't end up a widow, too?} He mentally shook himself. To entertain such thoughts for long could be deadly to a cop's instincts and reactions. He was glad that Paul and Annie had come to the service, and that Kacie was sitting with them. {I hope Kace is holding up OK. I don't like the way she's looked lately.}
The congregation sang the final hymn as the casket, draped with the American flag, was rolled down the aisle. Peter nearly lost his composure when the Martin family got up to follow the body and Martin's little daughter looked into the grandfather's face to ask plaintively, "Where's my Daddy? I want my Daddy. I want my Daddy!" Tears stung his eyes, and he detected the officers on his right and left clenching their jaws tightly as they lined up in formation, using a measured tread to follow the family out of the church.
At the cemetery, the interment ceremony went on as the bagpipes played 'Amazing Grace'. The minister read the familiar wordsfrom the scripture of John 11: "Jesus said unto her, 'I am the resurrection, and the Life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die." The rest of the words ran together in Peter's consciousness as he couldn't keep from staring at Carla and the marble color to her face, at the tears that rolled unchecked and unashamed down Jack's father's face. The order was given for the twenty-one gun salute, and as the sound and smoke faded, the flag was folded and presented to the widow, who received it woodenly.
Peter took his turn walking through the line with the rest of the mourners to give his condolences to the family. Carla's father kept a firm grip around her shoulders, and her mother held her hand. Jack's mother held Whitney on her lap, where the little girl trembled like a frightened rabbit, unable to completely understand what was happening to her world.
Peter moved off to one side with the other members of the honor guard. As he talked quietly with one of them, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Glancing down at the hand and quickly looking up again, he found Paul gazing at him soberly.
After one glance at the expression on his foster father's face, Peter's mouth went dry. "Something's wrong with Kacie." The words came out as a statement rather than a question, and he turned worried eyes to scan the cemetery for his wife, panicking when he didn't immediately see her.
"You'd better come with me, Son," Paul hedged, and the two men walked rapidly past the rows of chairs where the mourners had been sitting.
Paul explained as they strode along. "She kept getting whiter and whiter as the service went on. When the guns went off, she jumped each time, like she'd been hit. By the time the third set of shots went off, she just turned and took off. I don't think she had any idea where she was going. By the time I caught up with her, she just passed out cold."
"She fainted? Jesus, Paul! Why didn't you say so in the first place?" Peter broke into a run as he saw Skalany, Kermit, and Annie huddled around a prone figure.
Kacie was struggling to sit up when Peter reached her side.
"Kacie? Sweetheart?" He kneeled beside her and examined her anxiously, taking her icy hand in his.
Face white to the lips, she spoke feebly, "I'm fine. I'm fine. I-I-I just got a little lightheaded for a minute." She put an unsteady hand to her head before requesting, "Help me up."
Peter shook his head vehemently. "Honey, no. I think you should just rest here a minute. You're really pale."
"I'm all right," she insisted through chattering teeth. "Help me up. I-I don't want to make any more of a scene than I already have."
Peter reluctantly assisted Kacie to her feet and took her into his arms. Holding her closely, he felt her trembling as she hid her face against his neck.
He stroked her hair and asked softly, "Too many memories today?"
She sagged against him, her eyes closed as she simply nodded her head.
"Sweetie, why don't you let Paul and me take you home with us?" Annie offered. "We're not going back to the house with the others."
Kacie shook her head, brushing her cheek against Peter's chest. "I have to go to Carla's," she said tremulously. "She'll expect to see me there. I'm all right...really."
Peter kissed the side of her head, brushing his cheek over her hair as he held her. "Are you sure, Kace? I think today has already been too much for you. I'll just tell Carla you weren't feeling well."
"I have to go, Peter. I have to. You'll be there with me. As long as you're there I'll be OK. You-you can stay with me now, can't you? I mean, there's nothing else you have to do?"
He took her face in his hands and kissed her. "The only thing I still have to do is take care of you." Peering searchingly into her eyes, he warned, "We're not staying long."
She nodded and rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes. "Just don't be too far away," she whispered.