From rob4654@webtv.net Tue Jan 18 22:06:15 2000
( TV Commercial )
Coming soon from MatePlay Toys ---
THE UNWANTED STAR TREK ACTION FIGURES!
1 - Captain Harriman, looking stunningly like whatshisface! This figure,
which has been demanded by the actor's attorneys since the release of
'Generations', comes complete with a second attachable head with an
extra-vacuous look. Accesories include Starfleet-issued sound bite
material and a chair that quakes with fear and indecision. Included is a
voice chip with William Shatner saying 'Let Me Guess---Tuesday?'
2 - Captain Garrett, looking surprisingly generic, with a deliberate
lack of accessories so as to make her more available for fanfic. Also,
the face is a remolded Classic TOS Janice Rand, since the actor wanted
way too much residual for the use of her face. We were going to include
a die-cast Enterprise-C, but well, you know.....
3 - Discorporated Kes, the best excuse we've ever had for an empty
package since the Barbie and Ken Adam and Eve setup!
4 - Nick Locarno is a good way to save money on molds, and we only have
to pay Robert Duncan MacNeill 1/5 of scale!
5 - The Admiral Cartwright figure, from The ST-Movie Collection,
complete with a copy of 'The Manchurian Candidate', so you can read the
novel that got ripped off for that subplot.
6 - The Joseph Sisko figure ( See Nos. 4 and 5 ), complete with
numbered crawfish!
7 - The Prophets' Collection ( Insert pictures of friends and family in
the head parts )
8 - The 12" Intendant Kira with 45" bed accessory ( If you don't have an
ST character to pair her with, that shouldn't be a problem. This
---person---would probably bed Charlie Brown AND Lucy, and maybe even
Snoopy )
9 - The Valeris figure, with removable clothes. We tried to make it with
molded clothes, but for some reason no figure of Kim Cattrall can be
made with attached clothes.
10 - The TOS Crew turns on Shatner set, with five different talk-show
sets and 'whoop-whoop' sounds from the audience.
11 - The Peter David figure, complete with Word Processor and Shrine to
Stephen King. ( Warning : Figure may actually produce profic novel while
in package, which then must be bound over to Pocket Books )
12 - Lastly, The Neptunian from the Classic Mego collection returns! We
all remember the Neptunians, craftier than The Romulans, more savage
than the Klingons, and possessing a technology rivalling that of the
later Borg!
( Okay, truth time. Mego made up The Neptunian, and we're trying to cash
in on the absurdly overpriced collectors' market. Satisfied? )
As a bonus, if you order all the listed figures, you get, free of
charge, for a mere 29.95 in shipping, the ST : Catfight video game, in
which the women of ST go Alpha to see whose the best. Get yours now,
before PC, Common Sense, and the actors' attorneys spoil the whole
thing.
No obligation to click : Short Stories :
http://www.southroad.com/brightfame/
Ancient Destroyer :
http://www.telepath.com/kkuhlman/
(
geocities.com/televisioncity/network) (
geocities.com/televisioncity)