From rob4654@webtv.net Sun Nov 08 22:46:21 1998
DURING "FC"
PIcard : Come, Data! We'll cross this corridor and...
Borg Drone : None Shall Pass!
Data : This makes no sense, Captain! The Borg drone makes no move
against us, except to deny us passage!
BD : None shall pass!
Picard : Look, you've proven your value to the Collective! But either
attack us or let us through!
( Borg Drone suddenly and inexplicably fries five fellow drones,
attempting to go in the same direction)
BD : None shall pass!
P : Data, has he got "issues" or something?
D : I believe it is malfunctioning, Sir! Perhaps his shields are
inoperative, as well!
( Data then fires his phaser at the BD's pincer arm; the arm vanishes )
P : Good, that's done with! ( CP tries to go through, but BD's remaining
arm bats him back )
BD : None shall pass!
D : Sorry, sir! His body-shield remains up, but perhaps on a different
part...
( Data then phasers off the BD's other arm)
D : Now, sir, to quote Captain Scott, he should no tribble at...owwwww,
my foot!
( Highly adaptive, the BD now has a spiked foot, with which it has just
kicked Data's foot )
BD : None shall Pass!
CP : You Moron! Both your arms are gone! You are now irrelevant!
BD : This drone remains unharmed! Except for minor epidermal damage,
this unit operates at 100% efficency.
D : Most illogical. You are not operating at or near 100% efficiency,
and I fear even a Tellarite would not call two missing arms minor
epidermal damage!
BD : Irrelevant! None Shall Pass!
( Data then phasers off the leg with the spikes on it. BD remains
steadfast )
BD : None shall Pass! ( Hops back and forth across corridor, getting
really annoying. Picard blows off remaining leg)
BD : I am Borg ! None shall Pass! I am Borg!
D : No, you are posessed of a mental aberration. You are what is
referred to as a bleeding looney!
( CP and D pass; BD, now a stump, wiggles furiously )
BD : Return! Return! I still posess razor-sharp incisors, that will tear
your ankles to shreds! YOU YELLOW BASTARDS!
CP : ( Turns, and then cuts the cheese in BD's face ) I am French! I
fart in your general direction!
( BD dissolves )
CP : Well, that may have been declasse', Data, but.....
( Data is out cold, his olfactory sensors having overloaded )
CP : ( Sees more drones ) Oh, no! More Borg!
1st Drone : We are no longer the Borg Collective! We are now the
Species-who-until-recently-said-Nee!
CP : You'll not assimilate me!
1st Drone : Your distinctiveness, your knowledge AND your shrubbery will
be made to service us! Now give us the ships access codes!
CP : The CPU access codes or the self-destruct access codes?
1st Drone : We - we do not posess such knowledge.... ( Hull breach; The
Borg are sucked out; it reseals )
Data : ( Awakens ) Very good, sir!
CP : You have to know these things, when you're a Captain!
Lily : Jean-Luc! There You Are! I need your help! You see, I and all my
friends - all reasonably attractive underemployed actresses aged 32 to
37 and 1/2 - have been very, very naughty! I fear we shall need to be
punished!
CP : Mr. Data! Attend to the Borg! I shall deal with these --naughty
girls!
Data : And there was much rejoicing!
Earth's Surface
Cochrane : You guys keep telling me about the "Great" Zefram Cochrane!
Well, I don't want all this! I never wanted any of this! I just wanted
to Zoom, off to Alpha Centauri, with me best Companion by my side, there
to sing....
( We hear the sound of about 50 phasers being turned on, all aimed at
Cochrane. Riker is holding one, as well )
Riker : Don't Even THINK about another variation on "The Lumberjack
Song"!
Troi : Yeah, get back to work! GET ON WITH IT!
Next Week : The Holy Hand-Phaser of Antioch
--------> THE LARCH /^^\
Quote for the week- "After all, what is your house but a giant box to
keep all your stuff in - with a lid?" - George Carlin
From rob4654@webtv.net Sun Nov 08 22:46:21 1998
DURING "FC"
PIcard : Come, Data! We'll cross this corridor and...
Borg Drone : None Shall Pass!
Data : This makes no sense, Captain! The Borg drone makes no move
against us, except to deny us passage!
BD : None shall pass!
Picard : Look, you've proven your value to the Collective! But either
attack us or let us through!
( Borg Drone suddenly and inexplicably fries five fellow drones,
attempting to go in the same direction)
BD : None shall pass!
P : Data, has he got "issues" or something?
D : I believe it is malfunctioning, Sir! Perhaps his shields are
inoperative, as well!
( Data then fires his phaser at the BD's pincer arm; the arm vanishes )
P : Good, that's done with! ( CP tries to go through, but BD's remaining
arm bats him back )
BD : None shall pass!
D : Sorry, sir! His body-shield remains up, but perhaps on a different
part...
( Data then phasers off the BD's other arm)
D : Now, sir, to quote Captain Scott, he should no tribble at...owwwww,
my foot!
( Highly adaptive, the BD now has a spiked foot, with which it has just
kicked Data's foot )
BD : None shall Pass!
CP : You Moron! Both your arms are gone! You are now irrelevant!
BD : This drone remains unharmed! Except for minor epidermal damage,
this unit operates at 100% efficency.
D : Most illogical. You are not operating at or near 100% efficiency,
and I fear even a Tellarite would not call two missing arms minor
epidermal damage!
BD : Irrelevant! None Shall Pass!
( Data then phasers off the leg with the spikes on it. BD remains
steadfast )
BD : None shall Pass! ( Hops back and forth across corridor, getting
really annoying. Picard blows off remaining leg)
BD : I am Borg ! None shall Pass! I am Borg!
D : No, you are posessed of a mental aberration. You are what is
referred to as a bleeding looney!
( CP and D pass; BD, now a stump, wiggles furiously )
BD : Return! Return! I still posess razor-sharp incisors, that will tear
your ankles to shreds! YOU YELLOW BASTARDS!
CP : ( Turns, and then cuts the cheese in BD's face ) I am French! I
fart in your general direction!
( BD dissolves )
CP : Well, that may have been declasse', Data, but.....
( Data is out cold, his olfactory sensors having overloaded )
CP : ( Sees more drones ) Oh, no! More Borg!
1st Drone : We are no longer the Borg Collective! We are now the
Species-who-until-recently-said-Nee!
CP : You'll not assimilate me!
1st Drone : Your distinctiveness, your knowledge AND your shrubbery will
be made to service us! Now give us the ships access codes!
CP : The CPU access codes or the self-destruct access codes?
1st Drone : We - we do not posess such knowledge.... ( Hull breach; The
Borg are sucked out; it reseals )
Data : ( Awakens ) Very good, sir!
CP : You have to know these things, when you're a Captain!
Lily : Jean-Luc! There You Are! I need your help! You see, I and all my
friends - all reasonably attractive underemployed actresses aged 32 to
37 and 1/2 - have been very, very naughty! I fear we shall need to be
punished!
CP : Mr. Data! Attend to the Borg! I shall deal with these --naughty
girls!
Data : And there was much rejoicing!
Earth's Surface
Cochrane : You guys keep telling me about the "Great" Zefram Cochrane!
Well, I don't want all this! I never wanted any of this! I just wanted
to Zoom, off to Alpha Centauri, with me best Companion by my side, there
to sing....
( We hear the sound of about 50 phasers being turned on, all aimed at
Cochrane. Riker is holding one, as well )
Riker : Don't Even THINK about another variation on "The Lumberjack
Song"!
Troi : Yeah, get back to work! GET ON WITH IT!
Next Week : The Holy Hand-Phaser of Antioch
--------> THE LARCH /^^\
Quote for the week- "After all, what is your house but a giant box to
keep all your stuff in - with a lid?" - George Carlin
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