Title: The Three Crewmembers Gruff
Author: Sasscat Bu-to-y
Series: Voyager Fairy Tales
Rating: G
Codes: W for Weird
Summary: Voyager wants to cross a shipping lane, but
there's a Kazon ship behind a nearby planet with other
ideas.
Disclaimer: The grass is greener on the other side...
Other side of what? Anyway, usual apology to Paramount.
Maybe one day they'll apologise back for they bad job
*they* did. We wish.
Posted to A.S.C. seventeenth December, 1997
The Three Crewmembers Gruff
(c) Sasscat Bu-to-y 1997
Prologue: It had been about three weeks since the Borg
blew up Voyager, and they were getting pretty bored. So
they got out their fancy 24th century fix-it machine and
stitched Voyager right up. Then they regenerated the crew,
and sent them off to play while the Queen had her beauty
sleep.
=/\=
Once upon a time there were three crewmembers. They lived
on the Voyager in the Delta Quadrant. On their way to the
Alpha Quadrant they came to a Kazon shipping lane. Just as
they were about to cross, a Kazon ship leapt out from
behind a nearby planet.
"Who's that driving through *my* lane?" the Kazon roared.
"It's just Voyager trying to get home," said Tom Paris.
"Well, I'm going to blow your ship up," the Kazon roared.
"Uh oh," said Tom Paris. "Wait! I'm just little and soft
and squidgy and don't explode good. Why don't I get my
superior officer?" And he scurried off.
"Well, I don't have anything better to do," the Kazon said,
and hid back behind the planet.
=/\=
Tom Paris went and got Commander Chakotay. Chakotay looked
at a console and couldn't see any Kazon ships, so he started
to cross the shipping lane. Suddenly the Kazon ship leapt
out from behind the planet.
"Who's that driving through *my* lane?" the Kazon roared.
"It's just Voyager trying to get home," said Chakotay.
"Well, I'm going to blow your ship up," the Kazon roared.
"Uh oh," said Chakotay. "Wait! I'm just little and soft
and squidgy and don't explode good. Why don't I get my
superior officer?" And he scurried off.
"Well, I don't have anything better to do," the Kazon said,
and hid back behind the planet.
=/\=
Chakotay went and got the captain. Captain Janeway looked
at a console and couldn't see any Kazon ships, so she
started to cross the shipping lane. Suddenly the Kazon ship
leapt out from behind the planet.
"Who's that driving through *my* lane?" the Kazon roared.
"It's just Voyager trying to get home," said the Captain.
"Have you got a problem with that?"
"Not at all," the Kazon roared, "because I'm going to blow
your ship up."
"Shut up and let us past," the Captain growled, "or I'll
phaser you into such oblivion your liver alone will spread
across two-thirds of the quadrant."
"I'm not scared of you," the Kazon roared, so the Captain
phasered him into such oblivion his liver alone spread
across two-thirds of the quadrant.
"Cool," said Tom Paris, and the three crewmembers crossed
the shipping lane and continued on their way home.
=/\=
Moral of the story: Don't mess with the Captain when there's
a coffee shortage.
FIN (Dorsal or something else? I wonder... Sorry. I'll go
now.)
(
geocities.com/televisioncity/network) (
geocities.com/televisioncity)