Title : The Early Seasons Network
Author : Rob Morris
Series : Multiple, plus Non-ST
Type : Humor
Code : A bit OT, but not much
Summary : 500 channels, and.....
Announcer : Do you watch MASH, and wonder just who Trapper and Henry
were? Do you watch Voyager, and think that Seven of Nine has been on for
five years? Do you watch Deep Space Nine, and wonder what Sisko would
look like with hair and no goatee, and no Dominion War to fight? Do you
watch Bewitched, unaware that Darrin went through the change? Did you
know that Worf was not always security officer, and that Beverly Crusher
left for one season on Next Generation? Do you watch Highlander, and
wonder what Duncan would be like with no Methos, but a steady mortal
girlfriend?
BOY, do you watch a lot of TV.
Well, then, ESB is for you. ESB stands for Early Seasons Broadcast.
Watch in wonder as Mr. Furley is replaced on Three's Company by a wacky
couple known as The Ropers. Stare as Dennis The Menace torments Mister
Wilson--and Gale Gordon is nowhere in sight! See Lucy and Ricky BEFORE
Little Ricky was born. Watch Highlander anew, and wonder just when Tessa
buys it.
See this blonde?
( Picture of Jennifer Lien )
This is NOT Seven as Annika Hansen! This is in fact a mysterious
character known only as Kes! Ooohhh!!! Scary.
See this man?
( Season 1 A. Brooks photo )
Now, before you go thinking that Robert Guilliame visited his old buddy
Rene from Benson, take a good look at the screen. This is Commander--not
Captain, Sisko. Are the two connected somehow? Was there once a time
when Odo was unaware of his heritage? A time when Keiko was more than
just an off-set voice?
You'll also get the thrill of seeing the Will Riker from 'Insurrection'
make his way to the small screen!
So, if a time when the word 'Maquis' was actually used on Voyager
intrigues you, and if such novelties as a human Frank Burns and a Mrs.
Kravitz who is NOT interested in her neighbors' lives draws you in, and
if you want to see the seven Castaways actually wake up and say--'Oh, My
God, we've been shipwrecked'.....
Then The Early Season Broadcast Network is made for you!!!
Coming to your cable system soon...as if!
Your system is still trying to see if Mr.Turner's 24-hour News Network
catches on.
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