From rob4654@webtv.net Thu Sep 23 09:34:53 1999
Title : Comes A Ferengi
Author : Rob Morris
Series : DS9
Type : Parody
Code : Quark's, usual cast
Summary : You Know Rom Has Been Watching Too Much 'Highlander' When...
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(Rom sneaks up on Quark; Stabs him in the shoulder )
Rom : Greetings, Brother!
( Before pain sets in, Quark stares dumbly at his wound )
Quark : Rom---why did you just stab me?
Worf : And Why Did You Use My D'takh?
( Rom turns to Worf; sneers )
Rom : Shut up, Silas! We are brothers! We share everything!
Worf : Errrr--I'm going to go talk to Dax...
( Unafraid, Worf does run off )
( Quark is taken away to Sickbay )
Bashir : Trying to kill your brother again, Rom?
Rom : Oh, no...I can't kill him...He knows where Jake and Nog are!
Nog : Father...we're over here at Table Five.
Rom : ( Smiles ) Then the plan proceeds....
Leeta : Rom, Darling, I......
Rom : After all these centuries, you're still after my lobes, eh,
Cassandra?
Leeta ( Leaves crying ) Oh....Prophets! Its his time of the month again!
Rom : Is that crying supposed to mean something to me?
( Finally, Sisko walks up )
Sisko : Rom--please just leave everyone alone.
Rom : Shaving off your ponytail doesn't fool me, Macleod! Now,
cooperate, or....(Grabs Keiko ) the girl dies!
( Keiko elbows him; Walks off )
Keiko : I should've stuck with Klinger.
Rom : Your little thief friend has spunk Macleod! Itll be mine when I
take her head.
Sisko : ( Gives up, walks away ) Good. I hate spunk.
( Rom gets up on Dabo table )
Rom : I AM THE END OF PROFIT!!!!!
( Odo takes him off )
Odo : What could cause this madness?
MEANWHILE, IN 1996........
Methos : You SOLD the virus?
Kronos : To a large pharmaceutical concern, Brother! We stand to make
quite a tidy sum.
Silas : Kronos....Caspian has been hired away by Smith-Barney.
Kronos : (Smacks him) Now we are but three! Release Cassandra and tell
her to balance the books.
Cassandra : Would someone please kill me or get me a latte? These books
are a bloody mess!
( Outside Submarine base )
( Duncan Macleod boards place up )
Joe Dawson : Mac, why the hell you doing that for?
Duncan : I'm stopping this madness, Joe, before it can spread.....
( A flash, and Duncan is in a white void)
Duncan : Tessa?
Tessa-Prophet : You Are The Duncan.
Richie-Prophet : You Are The Highlander
Joe-Prophet : Born 400 Years Ago In....
Duncan : Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IN THE REAL WORLD......
Sisko : Methos, we'll help you find your friend....I swear. But how many
dancing girls have you dated, in all?
Methos : A Thousand Rockettes, Sisko...A Thousand Rockettes.
HERE WE ARE.....AT THE END, THANK THE PROPHETS.
No obligation : Short Stories :
http://www.southroad.com/brightfame/
Ancient Destroyer :
http://www.telepath.com/kkuhlman/fanindex.html
(
geocities.com/televisioncity/network) (
geocities.com/televisioncity)