From rob4654@webtv.net Tue Nov 30 00:53:23 1999
Author : Rob Morris
Title : Sisko Gets Mamed!
Series : DS9
Part : 1/1
Type : X-Mas Filk/Parody
Rating : PG
Summary : No one's been murdered, but Angela Lansbury's presence can
still be felt; No Anti-Matter--Just Auntie Mame.
Can DS9 survive?
-----------------------------------------
( Kira is in Sisko's office; Jake walks in on their talk )
Kira : We simply can't sustain this level of casualties much longer,
Captain.
Sisko : I know, Major ( Looks depressed )
Jake : Sorry, Dad. Major--do you want me to put up that Comparitive
Religion display yet, next to The Bajoran Shrine?
Kira : Not...just yet Jake. Put it up closer to The Nativity's
traditional date of celebration on your world.
Sisko : Comparitive Religion?
Kira : Yes, Sir. Your Father sent us a real Victorian-Era
Nativity-Tree--fully decorated. A well-aimed shot at Her Eminence. Yeah,
Jake--put it up, middle of next month. We can string those plants and
lights then, to.
Sisko : No. Do It Now, Jake.
Kira : Sir? What Are You Saying?
Jake : Yeah, Dad. What Should We Do?
Sisko : Haul Out The Holly; Put Up The Tree Before My Spirit Falls
Again;
Jake : And Fill Up The Stockings?
Kira : Sir, that may be rushing things.
Sisko : Yes, But Deck The Halls Again ---Now!
( Walks Out To Ops )
Sisko : Dax, We Need A Little Christmas.
Dax : Right This Very Minute?
Sisko : ( Nodding ) Candles In The Window.
Bashir : Sir - Carols At The Spinnet!
Miles : So We Need A Little Christmas?
Keiko : Right This Very Minute?
Worf : Captain, It Has Not Snowed A Single Flurry!
Kira : But Dammit, Worf We're In A Hurry!
Odo : I'll Slide Through The Promenade;
Sisko : Constable, Put Up The Brightest String Of Lights I've Ever Seen!
Quark : Half-Off On Fruitcake!
Miles : ( To Bashir ) Its Time We Hung Some Tinsel On That Docking Bay
Bow!
Dax : Cause I'm now a little leaner
Nog : Now A Little Older
Worf : Now A Little Sadder
Odo : Now A Little Colder
Sisko : And We Need To Knock That Chip Off The Founders' Shoulders;
All : We Need A Little Christmas Now
Kira : Haul Out The Holly
Sisko : Haven't I Taught You Well To Obey My Visions Now;
Rom : I bought up Quark's fruitcake!
Garak : But..you see its just one week past Thanksgiving Day Now!
All : But We Need A Little Christmas; Right This Very Minute; Even If
Most Here Don't Quite Celebrate It; And We Need A Little Something Happy
Ever After; We Need A Little Christmas Now;
Quark : Betting says there's not a flurry!
Kira : But Prophets Were All In A Hurry
Miles : So spike up the egg nog;
Keiko : Its been a long time since we got really blasted now!
Quark : We Fed Morn All The Fruitcake!
All : Its time we kicked some big-time Dominion Butt Now; For We Need A
Little Christmas; Right This Time Of Season; Rampant Shoppers Shopping;
Forgetting The Real Reason; But We Have Our Charlie Brown tape; Playing
On The Viewer; We Need A Little Christmas NOoooooowwwwww!!!
--------------------------------------------------
( The Next Morning )
Sisko : Ohhhh...I remember taking Defiant out.
Keiko : I feel like I just had both kids at the same time--only I was
the gong.
Miles : That...was some good egg nog.
Nog : Please...don't mention eggs.
Bashir : I have enhanced DNA....and I can see it all...owww.
Dax : Somebody remove me! Remove me now!
Jake : I'm the problem-solving geek...no. I'm the Dragon-killer...no.
I'm The Reporter! ( Gasps ) I'M SUPERMAN!!!
Garak : Don't You Humans know cloning is illegal? So why are there three
of each of you?
Kira : Ask Bareil and Kai Opaka. They're standing right next to me.
Worf : I Know! I KNOW!
Sisko : ( Annoyed, holds his head ) You Know What?!
Worf : The Secret Ending To Ancient Destroyer!
All : Yeah? And?
Worf : ( Laughs ) Face!
Quark : Just how drunk did we all get?
Sisko : I'll ask around....( Staggers off; Stumbles Back ) I got the
answer! Captain Pike says--we musta been pretty darned drunk!
--------------------------------------
Back on DS9
Jemhadar First : Tell The Federation That We Are Ready To Betray The
Founders.
( Sips The Egg Nog )
Jemhadar First : The Founders may be our gods---but ( Sips More Egg Nog
) these humans make the BEST Kitrocel White I have ever had!
------------------------------------------
Next : Peter Kirk and The AD Children's Choir sing 'Happy Holidays'
No obligation : Short Stories :
http://www.southroad.com/brightfame/
Ancient Destroyer :
http://www.geocities.com/cowtsatung/fanindex.html ( Temp?)
(
geocities.com/televisioncity/network) (
geocities.com/televisioncity)