Title: Say No More
Author: Charlene Vickers, after Monty Python
Email: watsondog@hotmail.com
Rating: PG
Summary: Tom gets embarrassed.
OK to archive at ASC and PythonTrek.
http://members.tripod.com/~Watsondog/
All hail Paramount/Viacom/Monty Python. Don't sue me: I'm broke.
----
Tom eased into his regular chair at Sandrine's. It had been a long,
hard day; the stress of guiding Voyager through a dense, extensive
asteroid field had gone right to his lower back. What he needed was
a cold frosty one and a little time to just sit and relax. Maybe
he'd challenge the Captain to a game of pool later on, if she
showed up. Maybe he could drag B'Elanna away from her beloved warp
core and --
"Mind if I join you?"
Tom looked up, startled, to find Chakotay standing by his table.
"Make yourself at home, Commander," he replied, indicating the chair
across from his. "What'll you have?"
Chakotay shook his head. "Nothing right now, thanks. I just need to
wind down a bit before I go crazy."
"Me too."
"I'm surprised to see you here. You haven't been around for a while."
Tom shrugged. "Well, you know....B'Elanna and me...."
"I can imagine," Chakotay said with a smile. "I bet she's a real
spitfire when you get her alone. A real goer."
"A goer."
"You know what I mean, Tom! A goer. You know, nudge nudge wink
wink...."
"Pardon me, Commander?"
Chakotay winked and touched a finger to the side of his nose.
"Command, yes that's good. A nod's as good as a wink to a blind
targ."
Tom glared at the First Officer. "Chakotay, are you feeling
all right?"
"Feeling, yes, that's very good, very good," he replied. "Say
no more!" He touched his nose again; Tom kept his gaze firmly
fixed on his beer mug.
After a few seconds' silence, Chakotay ventured, "So does she
like sports?"
"Sports," Tom echoed.
"I bet she's a sport, eh?"
Tom wondered who would be best to call: the Doctor or Security.
"Well, she does enjoy atmospheric skydiving. And Parisee Squares."
"Who doesn't?" Chakotay chortled. "Likes games, eh? I thought she
did. You know she's been around a bit?"
"Well, she was in the Maquis, if you remember, Commander. And we
are in the Delta Quadrant."
Chakotay held up a hand in submission. "Say no more!"
"I wasn't intending to," Tom said in exasperation as he made to
stand. "Now if you'll excu--"
"How's your latest holonovel going?" the Commander suddenly asked,
motioning for Tom to retake his seat. "I hear it's a real corker.
Captain Proton?"
Tom sighed as he slumped back into his chair. "I'm really enjoying
it, Chakotay. If you'd like to--"
"Is, um, is B'Elanna interested in holonovels? 'Holonovels', he
asked him knowingly? You know, record record, grin grin, wink
wink, nudge nudge, say no more?"
"You mean, like romantic novels?"
Chakotay suddenly leaned over and elbowed Tom in the ribs.
"Romantic holonovels, mwoho hoho, eh? Candid, you know; candid
romantic holonovels, eh?"
"No, I'm afraid she isn't interested in holonovels."
"Oh." Chakotay suddenly leered at the pilot. "Still, mwoo, eh?
Ho ho ho, eh?"
Tom finally slammed his beer mug onto the table and glared
at his commanding officer. "Listen, Chakotay, if you're trying
to insinuate something..."
"Insinuate something, Tom? No, no, no.....yes."
"Well?"
"Well, you're a man of the galaxy, Tom; right?"
"Riiight...."
"I mean you've been around a bit -- you've *done it*...."
"Done what, Commander?" Tom asked angrily.
"Well, I mean....you've slept, with a woman," Chakotay explained.
"Yeees...."
Chakotay's voice was earnest. "What's it like?"
--
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