Keith was
practically skipping as he entered the dorm room, singing a love song with a
huge grin still plastered on his face.
In the
kitchen, Jeff and Sven stared blankly at each other at Keith’s entrance. Quickly giving Sven a
'what-the-hell-is-going-on' look, Jeff looked at Keith funny. "Um, had a good day?"
"I had
a wonderful day." Keith replied. "One of the best days of my
life."
Sven looked
strangely at Keith. "We can kinda
see that. What made combat training so
wonderful? And why were you so late
getting in?"
"Late
because I stayed after class to keep practicing and we totally lost track of
the time." Keith replied. "And what made it wonderful was my
partner." Keith's eyes sparkled as he thought of Lance.
Jeff groaned
as Sven's eyes narrowed. Sven
growled. "Let me guess...Lance was
your partner."
"Yes,
he was." Keith's eyes sparked at the challenge. "But, of course
you're too big a man to have a problem with that, aren't you?"
"Of
course I don't have a problem with him being your partner in combat
training. You could learn a lot on
fighting from him that could keep you alive.
I also don't mind you being friends with him." Sven's right eyebrow twitched. "But something tells me there is more
then you’re telling, and I am not sure I like that!"
"It
doesn't make a difference if you like it or not." Keith grinned.
"There is more. I found out today that Lance feels the same way about me
that I feel about him."
If Sven's
eyebrow twitched any faster, it would have taken off. Jeff nearly spit out his soda, trying to keep from laughing at
the look on Sven's face. Sven glared at
Keith. "What did I tell you about
Lance?"
"I
don't care what you have to say about him considering you don't even know
him." Keith said, the spark in his black eyes changed to one of rage.
"So spare me all of your lecturing about passing judgment on him because
of where he grew up."
Jeff could
practically feel the anger building between the two. Wondering if this was actually a safe idea on his part, Jeff
stood between them. "Down
boys!" He turned to Sven. "Keith is right. Give Lance a chance. You may like him. Besides, Keith has already got it bad!"
Jeff then
turned to Keith. "However, Sven is
also right. Lance is a good guy, but he
has been running from his past too long.
I know you care for him, but don't let it cloud your judgment!"
"My judgment
is perfectly clear." Keith said in a firm tone. "If anything or
anyone tries to get at him, be it from the past or now, I will help him deal
with it."
Jeff jerked
his hands up, forming a 'T'.
"Whoa! Time out buddy! That is not what I meant!" He smiled.
"You are a very compassionate person Keith. And sometimes that compassion makes you do
things that in your right mind you wouldn't do, or at least do in a safer
fashion. I think it’s great that you
found someone like Lance. I just want
you to be sure that you’re entering this with both your mind and heart."
"I
am." Keith responded as he smiled gratefully at Jeff. At least Jeff was
making this easy, unlike Sven who he thought was going to explode as soon as he
so much as mentioned Lance's name.
Sven sighed
as he rubbed his eyes. "Look. I am willing to give Lance...a chance. But I also agree with Jeff. Make sure you know what you’re getting
into! Lance has seen more shit than all
of us here put together. And Lance
knows that some of that shit may come back to haunt him. So, just be careful. Don't let your heart overrule your judgment!"
"I know
what I am getting myself into." Keith said. He didn't know all about
Lance's past, but he knew nothing about that past could change how much he
loved him. "I need to take a shower and I hope dinner's ready by the time
I'm done because I'm starving."
Jeff
snickered. "Actually, it’s Sven's
turn to cook. So we are ordering a pizza.
Any particular kind you want?"
"Hawaiian.
Which means ham, pineapple, mushroom
and extra cheese." Keith
grinned.
Sven turned
green as he choked on his soda. Jeff
stared at Keith before speaking.
"Ookkaayy. At least you
don't want anchovies. I guess we will
order two pizzas then. Better get in
the shower. It won't take long for them
to get here."
**********
Lance had a
huge smile as he walked into his dorm.
His smile turned wicked when he saw Pidge and Hunk dozing on the
couch. Quietly taking off his jacket
and placing his books down on the table, Lance tiptoed behind the couch. Then he screamed at the top of his
lungs. "WAKE UP SLEEPING
BEAUTIES!!"
Pidge gave a
slight cry of surprise as he leapt almost straight up from the couch, being
graceful enough to at least land back down on the couch. Hunk on the other hand
lacked the gracefulness of the smaller man and fell to the floor with a heavy
thud.
"Very
funny." Pidge said sarcastically as he glared at Lance.
Lance
smirked. "Y'all looked so
cute! I just had to do something about
it!"
"Ya
could have just let us sleep." Pidge pouted. Then suddenly he grinned.
"So you and Keith have fun?"
Lance rolled
his eyes. "Yes we had fun.
I was wondering when that would pop up." He glanced at his watch.
"Less than seven seconds. A
new record for ya, Pidge."
Pidge stuck
his tongue out at Lance, but the grin never left his face.
"You
should be careful with who you chose to have fun with." Hunk said.
Lance
crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at Hunk. "Why is that? Is
there something you wish to tell me?"
"He
didn't mean anything by it…right Hunk." Pidge said, poking Hunk with his
toe.
"I just
mean…he's a bit of a flake. By tomorrow he'll want to deny everything,
especially if that's what his brother tells him to do. And he is not worth a
broken heart."
"Maybe...but
unlike most people here, I don't go by first impressions. If I did, you
wouldn't be here Hunk." Lance
smirked. "You will be surprised once you get to know Keith."
Hunk rolled
his eyes. "This is more then just first impressions. I've seen him around
enough to know how he acts. And heard enough about him around school. I mean
did you ever notice you are the only one who even talks to him? And that's not
because you’re there, it's because he’s there. You'd find that you would fit in
a lot better around here if you dropped him."
Lance leaned
against the edge of the couch, never taking his eyes off Hunk. "Sounds to me that he and I have more
in common than I thought. Care to
expand?"
"Because
he's a little freak. It's as simple as that." Hunk said.
"Oh,
please know when to shut up." Pidge whispered to himself.
Lance
snorted. "You can't title someone
without reason. Keep going."
"Okay,
well how's antisocial nutcase?" Hunk questioned.
"Hunk…please,
I think you should really be quiet." Pidge said.
"Why?
I'm telling him the truth." Hunk said. "I heard he never spoke a
single word out loud for almost 5 years after his parents were killed and just
followed his adopted brother around like a lost puppy dog."
"You heard.
So is it fact or gossip?"
Lance asked.
"It's fact." Hunk said. "His parents
were killed in a car accident, he was in the car…and after all that surgery he ain't quite human…He's just a
little freak."
"So,
let me get this straight." Lance
calmly walked over and jumped to sit on the kitchen table. "To earn the title of 'freak' in this
school, one has to lose their parents to an accident as well as survive it only
through surgery. Not to mention that
one has to be antisocial, ignoring the fact that such an event would traumatize
anyone into not wanting to be around anyone!"
Pidge
groaned. This was not good. Lance may appear calm, but it was only the
calm before the storm released its full fury.
The last time he saw Lance like that was when Lance saved his butt from
a couple of street gangsters three years ago.
Hunk rolled
his eyes and shook his head in exasperation. "Something like that. He's
just plain strange. And if I were you, I'd be worried about what his reasons
for acting all nicey nice are."
Lance
grinned. "And what would those reasons
be?"
"Who
knows what goes on in that messed up head of his." Hunk said. "But it
can't be good. Probably setting you up to take a heavy fall to try to force his
title of 'school freak' onto you."
"Speaking
of titles..." Lance's smile quickly turned scary. "What are the titles you hear for
me?"
"ENOUGH!"
Pidge yelled. He knew Lance well enough to be very afraid for Hunk's safety.
"Let's talk about something else!"
"I'm
just trying to warn you. So you know what you are getting yourself into and can
get out of it while you can." Hunk said.
"Oh, I
know what I am getting into...very well.
Something that this school is too stupid to notice." Lance smirked. "I am still interested in our discussion of
'titles'." He glanced over at
Pidge. "Don't worry. I'm not going to waste my time killing
him."
"I'm
just worried about the blood shed." Pidge said. "Please just end this
conversation now…" Pidge looked back and forth between the two men.
"Before anyone gets even angrier than they already are."
Lance
shrugged. "I told you...he is not
worth wasting my time on. He's as bad
as most of the people here. They title
a person before they get to know them.
Keith is really a great person once you get past his defenses. I'm really looking forward to seeing
everyone's faces when he finally breaks free."
"And
figures out the right way to commit suicide this time?" Hunk mumbled under
his breath, almost too softly for Lance to hear.
Unfortunately,
Lance's keen hearing caught every word.
He focused his attention fully on Hunk again. "Care to explain?"
"No, he
doesn't." Pidge said. "He doesn't know what he's talking about."
Pidge looked long and hard at Hunk. "Right, Hunk?"
Hunk opened
his mouth to object, but Pidge kicked him. "OW! Yeah…sure, right."
Lance
shrugged as he jumped off the table.
"I guess I’ll just have to ask Keith himself." He walked into his room, only to return with
a small box.
Pidge
glanced worriedly at the box of cigarettes as Lance put on his leather
jacket. Lance had given up smoking
years ago, and even before that it was only when he was nervous or upset. The fact that he had a box showed that things had been bothering Lance more then he
let on, especially now for Lance to show
him the box. It was one of the few
habits of Lance's that Pidge detested and he had always hounded Lance about it
in the past, practically forcing him to quit.
"What
do you think you're doing with those?" Pidge questioned.
"Smoking
them. What else do you do with
them?" Lance said, shoving them
into his jacket pocket.
"Well
don't even think about it, mister." Pidge scolded. "You better not
start smoking again. You'll need all that lung capacity if you want to make it
through all the training."
Lance
sighed. "Okay...I’ll try to quit
after tonight. Right now I’m going out
for some fresh air."
"Won't
exactly be fresh air if you're
smoking those." Pidge pointed out.
"Good
point. But at least it is cleaner than
the shit I'm hearing." Lance
glared at Hunk. "And for the
record, I know the titles given to me
here. And they are much worse than Keith's.
Since you believe Keith's titles, I guess you also believe
mine." He turned back to Pidge,
smiling slightly. "Don't wait up
for me. I will probably be gone for
awhile." Then Lance turned and
walked out the door.
************************************************************************
The next
morning Keith decided to go for a jog.
He was still feeling full of energy despite the fact he barely slept at
all last night since he was thinking too much about the kiss…and Lance in
general. He decided to go jogging around the pond that was in the park on the
edge of the campus grounds. Not only was it the nicest place to look at while
jogging, it also had a great path to jog along and it was still early enough
that Keith doubted there would be anyone else out jogging.
Lance wasn't
sure when he got to the park, but once he found a bench to sit on he parked
himself to try and enjoy the sunrise over the pond. He spent most of the night wandering the streets, occasionally
bumping into old acquaintances, both good and bad. Lance knew he shouldn't keep going back there, but at least there
he didn't have to hide who he was. Sure
the streets could be hell, but they accepted you for who you were. They didn't expect you to be what you
weren't. Though they didn't really
expect you to be anything
either. Lance sighed as he pulled out
another cigarette. It seemed only Keith
and Pidge accepted him here. Though
Pidge was going to have a hissy fit when he found out that Lance practically
smoked an entire pack last night!
Keith
noticed someone sitting on the bench and thought about turning around to jog
back in the direction he had come from, wondering if jogging alone had been
such a good idea. Keith looked closer at the figure and realized it was Lance.
His slow jogging suddenly turned into a run as he made his way over to the
bench, dropping down beside Lance. "Hi." Breathless, Keith greeted
him brightly with a huge grin.
Everything
that was bothering Lance quickly vanished when Keith plopped down next to
him. Quickly putting out his cigarette,
he smiled brightly at Keith. "Hi
yourself! What are you doing up so
early?"
"Decided
to do some jogging." Keith said, frowning at the cigarette that Lance was
extinguishing, crinkling his nose slightly at the scent of cigarette smoke that
clung to Lance's clothes. "And what are you doing out here so early?"
Lance
shrugged before turning his attention back to the sunrise. "I...I didn't go to bed last
night. Kinda had a disagreement with my
brother's boyfriend."
"Oh…I'm
sorry to hear that." Keith said, looking down at his feet as he wore a rut
in the dirt where he swung his right foot back and forth. He looked back up at
Lance. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Lance smiled
at Keith. "Don't worry about
it. We just didn't see eye to eye on a
few things. Things like that happen. I just didn't want to lose my temper so I
left."
"Did
you stay out here all night?" Keith asked with genuine concern.
"Of
course not!" Lance blinked. "It's never safe to stay in one place
at night. I wandered around."
Keith's eyes
widened slightly. "You should've came by my dorm. Sven ain't really that dangerous. He wouldn't have
objected too much to you sleeping on the couch…"
"Are you
sure about that?" Lance
laughed. "Thanks for the
offer. Don't worry about me
though. You can take a kid out of the
streets, but you can't take the streets out of him. I know every nick and cranny out there. I have always gone there when I was upset or
frustrated." Lance shrugged as he
barely mumbled the last part.
"Probably always will."
"You
don't have to anymore." Keith said. He turned to stare out across the
pond, staring at the glistening water upon which the golden sunrise was
reflected. The good mood he had been in since last night was quickly deflating.
"You don't have to run, or hide…or
do any of that anymore…." Keith's voice was quiet as his words
trailed off.
'Idiot!'
Lance wanted to kick himself.
The last thing in the world he wanted was to upset Keith. Hesitantly, he reached over and brushed a
lock of hair behind Keith's ear.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to upset you. Old habits just die
hard. It's going to take me some time
to stop." Lance laughed. "Pidge has tremendous patience! It has taken a long time for me to turn to
him. And he could tell you tons of
stories of the stupid stunts I have pulled!"
Keith slowly
turned his head to look at Lance. "I just wish you felt you could've come
to me last night…I want to be a part of your life…I want to share in the good
and help you through the bad."
Lance
smiled, his brown eyes moist.
"You...you don't know how much hearing you say that means to
me. I should have but I didn't
think. I just did what I've always
done. Just give me some time. Besides two people, I have never really had
someone to run to before. Kinda a new
thing for me."
"I will
always be there for you." Keith
assured Lance. "For as long as you want…or even longer."
"I will
always be there for you too. Even if not always in person." Lance smiled brightly.
Keith's
smile brightened. "Just one thing…"
Lance
blinked. "Hmm...do I really want
to know? Okay...what?"
"Don't
smoke ever again. It really makes your clothes stink…not to mention that it'd
be like kissing an ashtray which I don't want to do…and it could kill you, and
I want you around for a very long time."
Lance burst
out laughing. "You’re as bad as
Pidge!" When his laughter finally
died to chuckles, he continued.
"Okay, I'll quit, especially
since I have something else to turn to when I’m upset."
Keith
grinned. "Good…so what do you want to do this weekend?"
"I
don't know." Lance looked
sheepish. "Uh, what exactly do
people do on weekends here?"
Keith
shrugged. "It's still nice enough for sailing…I can manage the small boat
myself so we wouldn't be stuck with Sven and Jeff having to come along. Or we
can take the horses out…"
Lance's eyes
were huge. "Ya can do that
stuff?!? I don't know anything on
sailing, or swim very well for that matter, and I have never even been near a
horse!"
"Yeah…well…"
Keith's voice trailed off for a moment feeling like an idiot for stupid ideas
like that which made him sound like a rich brat.
"Whatever
you want to do sounds cool to me!"
Lance grinned. "Whenever
Pidge and I hang out, I’m mainly trying to keep him out of trouble. His curiosity is worse than any cat I
know!"
"We can
just do whatever." Keith said with a shrug.
Lance
laughed as he stood up and bowed.
"Well, I am at your disposal.
Though I probably should take a shower first and get rid of the
cigarette smell."
Keith smiled
slightly, though it never touched his eyes. He still wished he hadn't made
those stupid suggestions. Though he couldn't think of anything else to suggest.
He wasn't used to actually having someone to hang around with, and when he did
he was always the third wheel around
Sven and Jeff.
Lance
frowned as he knelt down in front of Keith.
"You okay? Something
wrong?"
"No…"
Keith said, hesitant to look into Lance's eyes. After a moment he finally
raised his head enough so that they were eye to eye. "We can do whatever
you want to do. I'm sure you know things that are a lot more fun."
"If you
think running and hiding fun then there is something seriously wrong with
you." Lance laughed. "Seriously, I have fun just being with
you. I don't mind doing any of the
things that you mentioned. If you don't
mind if I make a fool of myself since I have never done any of that
before! Could prove to be very
entertaining!"
"I
don't care what we do as long as we do it together…I think the problem with
sailing would be I'd be too afraid that'd you'd fall in the water on me."
Keith said. "We can probably take a couple of the horses out. They are all
quite docile so you'd have less to worry about…we could have a picnic..."
Lance
grinned. "Sounds great! I haven't been on a picnic since my mother
died. I loved them!" He then started laughing. "It is probably a good idea not to try
sailing. I can swim…kinda. I really don't want to test it. I would probably be clinging to the main
stick...mast...or whatever ya call it."
"Well…why
don't we both head back to our rooms to get ready and meet back here…say in
about an hour?" Keith suggested.
"Great! I will see you then!" Lance laughed before turning and practically
running back to his dorm.
************************************************************************
It was about
two hours later by the time they reached the stables with a small picnic
dinner. Keith was grateful that nobody else was home to save on the questions.
Keith held Lance's hand as he guided him into the stable.
"This
is my horse, Necromancer." Keith said, patting a gorgeous black stallion
on the nose.
"He is
beautiful!" Lance gazed wide-eyed
at the large stallion. "Can I...I
pet him?"
Keith
smiled. "Of course. He likes to be petted. Don't you, Necro?" Keith asked the horse as he scratched it
between the ears. "I'll show you the horses that you can choose to ride
from…"
"Cool!" Lance paused, almost scared to pet
Necromancer. Slowly, he reached forward
to lightly touch the horse's nose. As
Necromancer leaned into the touch, Lance got bolder and reached to scratch his
ears. Lance was practically
beaming. "Hey! He is sweet!"
"Yeah,
he is…very spirited too." Keith said. "But, considering this is your
first ride I'll show you a couple that are a little more docile." Keith
grinned as he dragged Lance over in front of another horse. This one was almost
pure white with gentle eyes. "Her name is Miakoda." He moved Lance to
the next stall; the horse was a dark brown, with black flaming up from each
hoof. "His name is Masou. They are the two gentlest horses."
"They
are both beautiful." Lance smiled
as he gazed at both horses. His gaze
kept falling on Masou though. There was
something about Masou's eyes that kept calling him, like a hidden fire waiting
to come out. "I think I like
Masou. Is that okay?"
"Of
course it's okay." Keith grinned. "I'll show you how to saddle him
and then I'll get Necromancer ready."
A short while later, Keith had both the horses saddled and ready to go.
Lance smiled
as he watched Keith work with the horses.
He seemed to know what the horses were thinking. And Keith was so gentle with them. Lance just couldn't see what people didn't
like about the guy. Lance's eyes
widened when Keith handed him the reins.
"Um, what am I suppose to do now?"
"Put
your left foot in the stirrup and grab the saddle here…" Keith patted the
horn of the saddle. "Then haul that cute little butt of yours up and swing
your leg on over…"
"Like
this?" Lance quickly turned his
attention to the saddle to keep Keith from seeing him blush. Somehow, probably mostly luck, Lance managed
to climb on though he nearly fell off the other side. "Shit! It's a long
way down!"
"Yeah,
mostly. At least you managed to keep from falling." Keith said. "Now
riding is quite simple..." Keith explained the basic fundamentals to Lance
on how to ride before he mounted Necromancer. "Just follow me. I know a great place down by the stream for
our picnic."
Lance
glanced down at his reins nervously.
"Okay, if you say so.
Personally, I think flying may be easier."
"Once
you get the hang of this, you can get the horse running so fast that you'll
feel as though you are flying."
Lance still looked nervous. "Well, as long as that doesn't involve flying into the ground..." He paused to pet Masou's neck. "Easy now boy. Ya have a total idiot riding back here."
Keith
chuckled. "You'll be fine. We'll stick with a slower ride this time so you
don't go flying."
"Good
idea." Lance took a couple of deep
breaths. "Okay. Let's see if my luck is still holding."
"Don't
worry so much about it, you'll be fine. The more you think about falling the
more you are apt to fall."
"Okay. Well, let's just see what
happens." Lance grinned
sheepishly. "How do ya start this
thing again?"
Keith
laughed. "C'mon Masou." Keith made a soft clicking sound with his
tongue and the horse started to walk along.
Keith guided Necromancer out of the barn.
The jerking
movement of Masou almost caused Lance to fall off again. Laughing nervously, Lance held onto the
reins...though he never let go of the saddle horn either.
"Just
hold the reins lightly. You don't need to have them in a death grip…"
Keith said as he moved Necromancer back enough to have the horses walking side
by side. "And you can let go of the saddle now."
Lance
glanced nervously at Keith, his voice barely above a whisper. "Okay...if you say so."
**********
Lance was
quickly getting the hang of it, thanks to Keith's excellent instruction. He was really enjoying it. Lance had never really been so far from the
city before. Keith was constantly
pointing out different kinds of vegetation and telling him all about the
history of the area. He was so caught
up in Keith's voice and seeing all the beauty around him, Lance barely noticed
that several hours had passed.
Keith
brought Necromancer to a stop by a crystal blue stream, watching as Lance
brought Masou to a stop. The place was just as beautiful as ever. The shallow
water rushed over smooth, shimmering rock - each rock seemed to catch the sun's
light and glistened brightly. Willow trees lined the edge of the stream, their
branches dipping down into the water's edge. Birds could be heard singing their
cheery songs high in the trees above them. Brightly colored wildflowers dotted
the green grass, swaying in the gentle breeze. Keith gracefully slid of
Necromancer's back and stepped over to Lance to help him down from Masou.
"What
do you think?" Keith asked quietly, almost holding his breath as he waited
for Lance's opinion.
From on his
horse, Lance gazed wide-eyed around him.
He didn't know what to say.
"I...I have never seen...anything so…beautiful before."
"Neither
have I." Keith said though his gaze was locked on Lance and not the
scenery around them.
Lance
managed to tear his eyes from the scenery, only to look down and see Keith
gazing intensely up at him. He blushed
seven shades of red before finally managing to say something. "Um, how do ya get off this
thing?"
Keith gave a
soft laugh. "Grab the saddle again and then swing your leg back over and
step down."
"Like
this? I...OOPS!" Masou suddenly got the shakes or something
causing Lance to lose his grip. He fell
into Keith sending them both crashing to the ground. Lance was now blushing fourteen shades of red! Masou seemed to be laughing at them, shaking
his head up and down. Glaring at Masou,
Lance laughed. "You did that on
purpose, ya little devil! Well, that is
one way to get down!"
"Yeah,
it is." Keith laughed as his face turned bright red, but he made no
movement to get out from under Lance.
Even though
he really didn't want to move, Lance shifted so that he was no longer crushing
Keith. Laughing, Lance rubbed the back
of his neck with a silly grin on his face.
"Sorry about that. In case
you didn't know, gravity still works."
"Good
because I was really beginning to wonder." Keith said. He reluctantly
pulled away and stood up. After taking their picnic lunch out of the saddle bag
he had strapped onto Necromancer, he moved to sit under a willow tree near the
water's edge. "Ready for that picnic?"
Lance
grinned as he dusted himself off. He
quickly walked over and sat beside Keith.
"Sounds great! Whatcha
got?"
"Um,
some PB&J's and some chips…and couple bottles of water."
"Great! My favorite!" Lance laughed as he took his sandwich. "How did you keep them from getting smushed?"
Keith
laughed. "Who says they aren't?"
Lance
laughed. "Good point!" Eating his food, he leaned back against the
tree trunk, enjoying the calm and peacefulness around him. It was something that Lance rarely fully
experienced, but he was greatly enjoying it.
Keith sat
slowly eating as he watched Lance, glad that he had made the right choice of
what to pack for the picnic.
Lance chewed
on his bottom lip. As much as he didn't
want to shatter this peaceful moment, there were a few things he really needed
to ask Keith about. 'How the HELL am I going to do this?'
"Is
something wrong?" Keith asked concernedly.
"HUH?" Lance jumped. "Well...um, no...you see...um...oh boy..."
Keith could
tell that Lance wasn't exactly being honest and that something was in fact
wrong. He figured from how Lance was so busy stalling it meant that Lance was
trying to think of a way to let him down 'easy'. Keith stood up and walked over
to Necromancer, gently stroking the horse's velvety nose. "Whatever the problem is, just say it." Keith
spoke almost sharply as he tried to keep back the emotions that were flowing
through his body.
Lance jumped
to his feet, his hands waving frantically in front of him. "NO!
That's not it! I...I just had
something...personal...to ask you...and I...I wasn't sure how to ask it."
"Yeah,
sure you did." Keith said, his voice filled with disbelief and sarcasm.
"Whatever it is just ask."
"I
heard that your parents...died in an accident." Lance plopped back down on the ground and stared into the
stream. "I...I want to ask you
about it. I...I just didn't know how to
do it without upsetting you...or appearing too nosy. I mean, it is none of
my business..."
Keith froze,
feeling like an idiot for jumping to the wrong conclusion about what had been
on Lance's mind. "They were killed in a car crash when I was
five…"
Lance glanced
up at Keith before turning his attention back to the stream. "Do...do you want to tell me about
it? You don't have to..."
"What's
there to talk about?" Keith questioned.
"Since you heard that much, I'm sure you heard enough else about it
to already have an opinion. Everyone always has an opinion about
it."
Lance's eyes
narrowed. "I hate to disappoint
you, bub, but I don't work that
way! I make my own opinions based on my own
experiences! Taking opinions of others
just gets your ass killed!"
Keith didn't
turn and look at Lance, even though he could feel the heat of Lance's eyes on
the back of his neck. A lot of people had said they make their own opinions but
things always turned out the same - everyone who listened to everyone else
about him were quick to get as far away from him as they could. Though he was
surprised that Lance even agreed to come out here with him if he already heard
all the same old tired out tales.
Lance could
feel his heart breaking as the silence continued. Refusing to let Keith, or anyone for that matter, see him lose
control, he quickly got up and walked to Masou. "Look, just forget I fucking asked! I thought you were different from the
others. But, it is obvious to me that
you, like everyone else, are not comfortable around me, so let's just get back
to the school."
"WHAT
THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW!" Keith yelled, glaring at Lance, his black eyes
shone with unshed tears.
"I
DON'T FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE YOU WON'T TELL ME!" Lance glared back, his eyes almost burning. "All I know, is that THEY treat you as
an outcast because they DON'T know you!
AND YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THEM!"
Lance walked
until he stood in front of Keith.
"I am an outcast because of my roots. I can't change that! HELL
I don't WANT to change that! YOU are
only because of a traumatic event! They
have no right to outcast you, but YOU LET THEM CONTINUE TO THINK IT! YOU are the only one who can STOP IT by
proving them WRONG!" He quickly
walked away to stand near the stream before he completely lost it.
Keith just
stared at Lance, slightly taken aback by Lance's rant. Nobody had ever put
things so bluntly before. Though he thought it was really a case of the pot
calling the kettle black…and that Lance should take his own advice. He really
wasn't too sure of what to say, so he just stood there and stared at Lance.
"Look. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I have always had a temper. Got it from my mother." Lance sighed,
though he continued to stare at the stream, refusing to look at Keith. "I'm also sorry I ruined this
outing. Let's just get back to the
school before this gets worse."
"I
don't want to go back." Keith said. "I'm sorry that I…well that I
jumped to conclusions. It's just that
everyone always has in the past. It's the story of my pathetic life and…since
it feels so good to be with you it means this won't last…you'll leave just like
everyone else has in the past."
"Nothing
lasts forever Keith." Lance was
staring off into the distance...in a world of his own. "All we have is today. That is why I...I can't promise that I will
always be there for you." He
turned to stare at Keith. "But I can promise that I will always be with
you in spirit. And that you will always
be in my heart."
Keith sighed
softly, blinking back the stubborn tears.
"We make quite a pair, don't we? Both hiding from the rest of the
world. Shunned by the cruel torments of our peers… through things that are no
fault of our own doing…for no reason other then being different."
Lance
laughed. "We do make an
interesting pair...if we don't kill each other first." He sat down near one of the willows. "Sit?"
Keith moved
and sat down next to Lance, close but not quite touching the other man. "I
guess that I should finish answering your question…"
"Only
if you want to." Lance
smiled. He hesitantly placed his arm
around Keith's shoulders, almost afraid that he may upset Keith again.
Keith
shifted slightly, leaning into the partial embrace. The simple contact gave him
a sense of security that he couldn't even begin to explain or understand.
"It happened a long time ago…I was only five, but there are still times
when it feels like it just happened… some nightmares that bring the reality of
it all back…" He explained, somehow knowing that Lance could understand that
all too well.
Lance said
nothing. He just pulled Keith closer to
him, placing a butterfly kiss on his forehead.
"I
don't remember everything that happened that night, most of it is rather
blurry. I was with my parents at Van Hautten's…as we often did because my dad
and Davin were really close friends…and I wanted to stay because I wanted to
stay with Sven…" Keith smiled slightly. "Hell, he was already like a
brother then and I totally idolized him."
"Well,
I don't blame him for being so protective of you." Lance laughed.
"Yeah…he
was the only one I trusted for a long time after the accident." Keith
said. He fidgeted nervously, but made no effort to pull away from Lance.
Lance
shifted so that he sat behind Keith, allowing him to wrap both arms around
Keith and pulling Keith closer to him.
"You can stop whenever you want to."
Keith shook
his head and leaned deeper into the warm embrace. "I don't remember much
of the accident itself…I don't know how it happened…the car just went off the
edge of the cliff…rolled so many times. The seat belt broke and I was tossed
out of the car at some point…before the gas tank exploded…Mostly that's what
they told me happened… I just remember flashes."
"I'm
sorry." Lance didn't really know
what to say...he prayed that it was enough for now.
"I
barely even remember them…the Van Hautten are like parents to me…My parents had
it in their will that if anything happened to them that the Van Hautten's were
to finish raising me. I really do think
of them as my mom and dad." Keith explained. "Or at least after a
while I did. At first I would only talk to Sven, then eventually Jeff…nobody
else…even then I never actually spoke out
loud if anyone was around that might hear me…"
"I
understand. Such an experience would do
that to anyone." Lance said as he
slowly rocked Keith.
"Yeah,
I guess…but that's the main reason everyone thinks I'm freak. I was pulled out
of school for a couple years…and things got better. I learned to cope with what
happened… at least until I was sent back to school. Something about the cruelty of one's peers can really do
damage."
Lance
laughed bitterly. "Tell me about
it. And people wonder why I have such a
hard time respecting authority!"
"After
all it all got to be too much…with all the constant harassment about the
accident, nobody seemed willing to just let me forget it. A batch of the other kids started saying I
was a freak because of all the surgery, not that there wasn't a lot done, but
it was all... normal kinda surgery
things. That only added to the fact that I was…or still mostly was at that
point, a mute freak. Kinda put an end
to the idea of making any friends, because even if they didn't believe it all
they were too concerned about being cool and fitting in themselves…."
Lance
snorted. "Well, if ya ask
me...they are too stupid for their own good.
They are missing out on something special."
Keith
blushed, not sure what to say to that.
He wasn't used to anyone besides Sven and Jeff, being at all nice to
him. "Why couldn't you have came into my life years ago?" Keith
questioned rhetorically.
Shrugging,
Lance only chuckled, a silly expression on his face.
"Nothing
back then ever seemed to go right…even death didn't want me." Keith said
quietly, even though he hated breaking the peaceful moment. It just felt so good to be able to talk to
someone about everything, someone who didn't already have an opinion about all
of it.
Knowing what
was coming, Lance closed his eyes as he tightened his grip on Keith. "What do you mean?"
"I
tried to kill myself…tried to hang myself in my room." Keith said, his
voice was barely even a whisper. "Thing is I didn't do the noose right so
it didn't break my neck…instead it was just gonna strangle me to death…or
would've if Sven hadn't decided to let himself into my room."
"For
that I am grateful!" Lance sighed,
his heart aching for what almost never was.
"Extremely
grateful!"
"At
first I wasn't. I blamed him for not letting me die…but I quickly forgave him.
After that Sven became even more
protective…he kinda really laid into a couple of the biggest bullies. It stopped a lot of harassment but still
nobody talked to me, and a lot of people became afraid of Sven." Keith
said.
"I can
understand why!" Lance chuckled
before becoming serious. "He just
really cares for you. You scared the
shit out of him! Why did you do
it? After all, you still had a family
who cares for you dearly and who will stick with you through thick and
thin."
"Because
every day grew worse then the one before it. Because every day living with
constant torment was like a never-ending nightmare. Because I just wanted to
escape my life and all the pain. Because even though I had a family I still
felt miserably alone."
"Well,
you listen to me Mr. Keith McLane! As
long as you have people who care for you, you are never alone!" Lance
stared hard at Keith. "Suicide is
only for chickens and losers. And you,
Tiger, are neither! Every problem has a
solution...some are just harder to find than others."
'I found my solution...I found you.' Keith thought to himself, snuggling against
Lance. "Yeah…well…I guess that's the whole story of my pathetic life so I
won't bore you with any more details."
Lance
laughed. "You could never bore
me! Well, except maybe in
Geometry...but then the professor knocks me out before you could even
try!"
Keith
laughed. Then he grew serious once again. "You know if you ever need to
talk about anything, I'll always be right there to listen."
Lance smiled
as he gazed lovingly down at the man in his arms. "I know that now.
Thanks."
Keith turned
so that he could look into Lance's velvet brown eyes. "Thank you for
listening…and not giving up even when I started…got a little hostile with you."
Lance
snickered. "You can get as hostile
as you want with me, anytime!" He
quickly turned serious. "Promise
me one thing though."
"I'd
promise you anything. Anything your little heart desires."
"Promise
that no matter what happens...no matter what shit life throws at you...promise
me that you won't try to kill yourself."
Lance gazed hard into Keith's onyx eyes. "I see lots of potential in you, Tiger. Don't throw it all away before you see all
your cards and play them."
"I
promise." Keith said sincerely.
"Good
boy!" Lance laughed as he gazed at
the sinking sun. "Now, I know we
should probably head back, but I'm going to be selfish and ask if we could sit
here just a little longer."
"Not
being at all selfish…I want to sit here longer too." Keith said. "I
never want to go back…I'd be happy staying here with you forever."
"Me too
Tiger...me too." Lance smiled
brightly at Keith. "I could really get used to this!" He pulled Keith closer as the sunlight
passed through the willow's branches, casting dancing shadows around them.
************************************************************************
Keith
quietly entered the dorm room, knowing by this time of night if Sven and Jeff
were home they'd be asleep. Though it
being a Saturday night, chances were they were off partying somewhere.
"You
could have at least left a note as to
where you were going."
Keith
practically jumped out of his skin when Sven spoke from somewhere within the
darkness of the room. "Because if I told you where I was going you'd
followed."
"It
would have depended on where you were going." Sven walked out of the shadows, frowning. "You had me worried."
"I
didn't mean to worry you." Keith said sincerely. "I didn't even think
you'd really notice. I just took Lance
out riding is all."
Sven sighed
in relief. "That's good. At least you weren't alone. How are the horses?"
Keith
grinned brightly. "They're all doing great. I think Necromancer was really
happy to see me since when I'm here I don't get as much of a chance to go
riding."
"Good. I hope you two had a good time." Sven frowned. "However, next time
leave a note saying where you will be and
with whom! At least that way I won't be
on the verge of calling the police when you don't come home until late!"
"I
promise." Keith said. He moved over and pulled the taller man into a brotherly
hug. "And thanks for not freaking out too much."
Sven snorted
as he returned the hug. "You
should have seen me when you didn't show up for dinner!"
"I'm
sorry. I really didn't mean to scare you. I promise I'll never take off without
telling you ever again." Keith said. He sincerely meant it, he hadn't been
thinking that by not leaving a note that Sven would worry at the time. All he thought was that Sven would follow
and put an end to his date with Lance.
"Good. Be sure that you do that." Sven laughed as he ruffled Keith's
hair. "I said I would give him a
chance. Though it would help if I
actually got to officially meet the
guy!"
"As
long as you promise to be nice."
Keith said. "I don't want you to scare him away."
Sven rolled
his eyes. "Alright! Jeezusss!
I am not that bad!"
"No,
you're worse." Keith grinned.
"Watch
it buddy! Now get your ass to bed
before I change my mind!" Sven
growled, playfully swatting at Keith.
Keith stuck
his tongue out at Sven as he darted away. "Yes, sir." He said, giving
Sven a mock salute before turning and walking away to get ready for bed.
**********
Lance
quietly slipped into the dorm room, praying that his luck would hold out for
just a little longer. Of course, it
didn't when light suddenly filled the room.
"I was
starting to think that you'd never come back." Pidge said. He blinked
against the brightness of the lamp he turned on as soon as he heard the door
open. "I've been worried sick about you."
Lance stared
down at the floor. He felt like he was
five years old again, caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Sorry...I didn't mean to make you
worry. Guess I wasn't thinking
again."
"I know
you were upset…because of all the things Hunk was saying. He can be really dense about things at times…he
thought he was doing you a favor..."Pidge explained, continuing before
Lance had a chance to object. "I know he wasn't and he never should've
said those things, but I've been worried sick about you being out there all
alone…"
Lance smiled
as he sat down next to Pidge on the couch.
"I know Hunk was only trying to help. I just knew that if I didn't leave I would lose my temper. I...I just didn't want to upset you."
"I'm
glad you didn't lose your temper. I
just wish you hadn't left…or at least not for so long." Pidge said.
"I was starting to get afraid that you'd never come back."
"I'm
sorry bro." Lance pulled Pidge
into a hug. "I shouldn't have
stayed away that long. You know that I
will always be there for you, even if only in the shadows."
"I
know. But that doesn't stop me worrying. Every time you pull a little
disappearing act you worry me. Worry me that you might be hurt or
worse..." Pidge said.
"You
worry to much Squirt!" Lance
ruffled Pidge's hair. "Fate
willing, I will always come back to you.
Someone has to make sure you stay out of trouble!"
Pidge stuck
his tongue out at Lance. "And just who will keep you out of trouble?"
Lance
pretended to look shocked. "I never get in trouble!"
Pidge
laughed. "Yeah, sure you don't…and I'm the Easter bunny."
"Hmmm...I
always wondered why that pink bunny costume was in your closet!"
Pidge shook
his head. "Well now that you are finally home I can finally get some
sleep." Pidge hugged Lance tightly. "I'm really glad that you are
back."
Lance hugged
him just as tightly. "Me too. And don't worry. I am always careful
when I go out. Someone has to look
after you since most of the time you don't have enough sense to come out of the
pouring rain!"
"That's
not true." Pidge said, before
yawning and climbing off the couch. "At least I have enough sense to go to
bed now."
"There
is hope for you yet!" Lance
chuckled. "Oh, are you doing
anything tomorrow?"
"Sleeping…and
studying…then more sleeping." Pidge replied.
Lance
grinned. "Well, if you can take a
break from all that sometime, you want to go the mall and catch a movie? It has been awhile since you and I have hung
out."
Pidge
grinned. "Sounds great."
"Great! Now get your ass to bed! Can't have you falling asleep during the
movie. And we are not watching a silly romance!
I get enough of that from watching you and Hunk!" Lance gagged.
"Maybe
we should go see one of those 'romance' tales…it'd give you ideas on what to do
with Keith." He suggested with a grin.
"THAT'S
IT!" Lance jumped up and waved the
couch pillow around threateningly.
Pidge gave a
worried yelp before running full tilt to his room and quickly shutting the
door...hearing the pillow hit the door seconds after it closed behind him.
Lance rolled
his eyes, laughing. "YOU'RE
LEARNING!" Still laughing, he
turned and headed into his room. He had
lots of sleep to catch up on.