He stood about one hundred feet from the park bench where she sat sketching in a large sketch book. He watched the familiar tilt of her head as she sketched and he longed to reach out and touch her. It had been nearly two and a half years since he had seen her, the longest years of his life. He was wearing a long coat and dark glasses in hopes that no one would recognize him. He knew that by being so close to her he was putting her in grave danger. He watched for a long time, trying to memorize everything. The memory of her was what had sustained him the past two years. He could barely stand the thought of turning from her to leave, so strong was his desire to touch her and hold her again. He watched until he knew it was no longer safe to be so close to her. He looked one last time at the back of her head, her long brown hair that he longed to touch, to smell, and to breathe in the scent as if it were the very breath of life. He put his fingers to his lips and kissed them and reached them out toward her and whispered, "I love you Elizabeth".
He was turning to leave when out of the corner of his eye he saw a small boy run up to her. "Daddy is taking me for ice cream, wan go?"
She leaned over and touched his face, "No sweetie, you go ahead. I'll see you when you get back". He reached up to hug her and she kissed him tenderly on the cheek before he ran off.
He was struck by emotion at the sight of the child. He felt tears welling in his eyes knowing that his next act was wrong, knowing he may be condemning himself to the worst possible hell by doing so, but he simply could not stop himself. The emotion was so strong, his voice came out as a whisper, but it was loud enough for her to hear. "He looks like his father." He looked like Nikolas, the brother he missed more than he had dreamt possible.
She had started sketching again and was startled by the voice she heard from behind. It was deeper than she remembered but unmistakably his. She was afraid to turn and look at him, afraid to believe that it could really be him. Finally she started to turn toward the sound of his voice and said his name, "Lucky?"
"Elizabeth, please don't turn around, just keep drawing as if you don't know I'm here. Please…"
It is Lucky, and a rush of emotions took over until she felt dizzy, as if she were falling into an abyss. "But I need to see you...Lucky, please let me look at you." She was crying uncontrollably now.
"I want to see you, too, but we can't take the chance, not here. Can you meet me at the church?"
Her heart was racing wildly, her voice weak as she answered him. "I'll be there."
"I don't know when I can be there. Will you wait for me? After 7?"
"Yes."
She leaned back on the bench, her head in her hands, reliving again that horrible night when he was presumed dead from the horrible fire in his apartment. She relived that night over and over in her head, every day of her life, wishing they could just go back to that day so she could tell him to be sure to blow the candles out before he goes to sleep. The strange part is, she had never felt in her heart that he was dead. It had never seemed real to her, and now she knew why. He had been alive all this time.
She arrived at the church early, needing time to sit and reflect on the past two years she had endured without him, about the times they had spent together. She thought of how he had been the one person who had literally given her life back to her when she felt it was no longer worth living. What a cruel twist of fate it had been to have him ripped away from her so soon. Some days she felt that she would never get over it and be able to move on with her life, yet she had enrolled in art classes at night. It was something she felt she owed Lucky because he was the one who had convinced her she had the talent to do so.
It was nearly 8:30 when she realized he probably wasn't coming. She walked to the altar and lit a candle and prayed that he would be safe, feeling the tears come, tears of frustration at not being able to really see him, mixed with the joy of knowing he was alive. Wherever he had been and whatever he was going through now she knows he was risking his life, and perhaps even hers to see her. But she didn't care; she wanted only to see him, to hold him and help to erase whatever nightmare he had been living.
As she was gathering her purse and coat to leave, she heard the door open and turned to see him standing in the door.
"Lucky…I was afraid you weren't coming,"
"Nothing could have kept me from seeing you."
She stayed apart from him, afraid to believe that he was really, finally there in front of her after all this time, afraid that if they touch, he would vanish and it would all have been a dream. She could not keep from crying at the sight of him. He was wearing a long trench coat, and sunglasses, even though it was night. His hair was much longer, falling around his shoulders, and he seemed taller to her. But he was still Lucky, her Lucky.
"I'm so afraid to believe you're really here."
"I'm here, Elizabeth. The child, that's what made me call to you. I thought…"
"No, that was Lucky, Nikolas and Emily's child."
"Nikolas and Emily? They named their child after me?"
"Yes. Nikolas misses you so much, Lucky. He wanted to honor your memory."
"He's beautiful. He looks so much like him."
She walked toward him then and stopped in front of him. "Lucky, please take off the glasses, please let me see you." She reached up to remove them and he grabbed her arm, "No, I can't…I don't want you to see." She pulled away and reached up again to remove them. "Trust me Lucky." He didn't fight her that time.
She removed his glasses and saw that his right eye was swollen and bruised, "Lucky? What happened?"
"It doesn't matter, Elizabeth; all that matters is that we're here together now". She was crying softly as she reached up, and holding his head in her hands she kissed him tenderly around his eye, tasting his tears, whispering that everything will be all right now that they are together.
He pulled her arms away gently. "Elizabeth, I can't stay. I wish I could tell you where I've been and why I can't stay, but I can't put you in that kind of danger. I shouldn't even be here now."
She was desperate now, "Lucky, why can't we just run away together?"
"We can't, Elizabeth."
"Yes we can, we can call Sonny. He'll know what to do. He'll help us." He looked at her sadly, shaking his head. "Don't you see, it's not that simple. I don't even really know what this is all about, but I know that if I run, everyone I love will die. Oh, it wouldn't happen all at once. It would be a gradual thing. Do you understand, everyone I love and the people they love will die; you, my parents, Nikolas, Emily, little Lucky, my aunt Bobbie, my cousin Lucas, Sonny, your grandmother, the list is endless. It may even take years, but they would start with the one person whose death would hurt the most people."
He saw the terror in her eyes as she whispered, "Lulu".
"Yes. I can't take that chance. You know I can't."
She nodded her head.
"How is my little sister?"
"She's incredible Lucky. She still talks about you all the time. No one has let her forget you."
"And my parents?" His voice was strong with emotion.
"They're back together and they miss you so much."
He smiled, tears falling from his eyes, "I've prayed for that so many times while I was gone. And Nikolas? He's taken care of you?"
"He and Emily have been there for me since the beginning. I don't know where I would be without them."
"I miss them all so much."
"And they all miss you. You are still very much a part of their lives…you know I've always felt you were still alive, Lucky. I'm the only one who has."
"How?"
She reached inside his shirt to pull out the subway token she knew she would find on a chain around his neck. "Because there was never any trace of this, and I knew you would never take it off."
"No one else would have known that." He removed the chain from around his neck and placed it around her neck. "I want you to keep this for me, for the day we'll be together again for good. You know I write you letters everyday, Elizabeth. I hope one day you'll be able to read them, and put this chain back around my neck."
He was acting nervous, jittery. "What is it, Lucky?"
"I should be going. I should never have come; I can't bear that I've put you in this danger."
"I'll be all right, Lucky."
"You can't tell anyone you've seen me. Promise me, no one. I'm working every day to find a way to come back to you."
"I promise."
He pulled her close and kissed her full on the lips and finally pulled away, looking into her eyes. She whispered, "I'll always love you, Lucky, and I'll always wait for you. I know it can't be God's plan to keep us apart forever."
He nodded, unable to speak, and put his hands on her face, speaking so softly she could barely hear him. "I love you so much, Elizabeth. Remember the vows and the promises we made in this church?"
"I think of them and honor them every day."
"They're still true. We will be together again Elizabeth, that's my promise to you today."