Marlena's Diary
Dear John,
To never see you again is pain; to know that you will spend the rest of your life with Kristen is more pain than I can bear. She has built her life with you on lies and deception. I hope, I pray that you will see the evil in her before too long.
I've always sensed that Kristen felt threatened by me, by the history you and I share. But she was very careful to keep her feelings to herself, until she found your letter expressing your love for me.
Kristen is so desperate to hold on to you she told Stefano which plane I would be on so he could kidnap me. You kept that information from everybody but Kristen and she told Stefano. That time he failed but for all I know she helped him again, and he succeeded.
Stefano doesn't want you to know that I'm alive, so he'll never let me send this journal to you. Even though you'll never see this, expressing my feelings on paper seems to help me fight this overwhelming sense of despair. I'm trying very hard to hold onto the hope that I can escape. I think of you...I think of your love...it gives me such strength. But Stefano is so evil John, I'm not sure there is any way to beat him.
John, I've always loved you, I always will. I wish you could know...
My dearest John, if only these words could reach you; if only you could've heard them before it was too late; if only I could tell you, tell anyone, that I'm here in Paris...I could have hope of being freed. But no one knows the truth, no one knows.
John I miss you so. If only I had told you, warned you about Kristen, this never would have happened. If only you'd known in time, you could've come to me.
Stefano is becoming more unstable every day. He has progressed from obsession to madness. He cannot understand or accept the fact that I will never return his love, that I will never willingly make love with him, that we will never live happily ever after together. I don't think he'll ever physically hurt me but as he sinks deeper and deeper into his fantasy I can't predict what could happen. I must find a way to escape; but how? It's been impossible so far, but I can't give up hope. I can't bear the thought of never seeing my children, my family, my friends again.
