BY SOLO
EPISODE 21
Quick recap… Solo still asleep (big surprise there!) in real time
the lads are STILL trying to wake her up, In the dream sequence, Solo had
been dancing with Flacco before an amazing wind blew up and now threatens
to blow Solo into the next century.
"I will blow you into the next century!" the wind chuckled
evilly.
"Did the wind just threaten me?" Solo screamed at Flacco.
Flacco replied but Solo couldn't hear him.
Strangely enough… the wind sounded evilly familiar.
*****
Richard shut off the hair-dryer… Solo was mostly dry now
- of course Paul was still sopping wet.
Paul gave Richard a dirty look, stopped beating up Tim
and stomped off to his room to get changed.
Tim and Richard looked at each other and giggled.
Paul had looked like a drowned rat standing there, dripping ice cold water
onto the
floor, his hair plastered to his skull. He had looked very silly.
Suddenly a thoughtful look crossed Richard's face.
"You know Tim…"
"No Richard."
"Ha ha, let me finish. You know, when I was little
my mother use to sing me a lullaby to send me to sleep."
"Richie, we want to wake her up not send her into a coma."
"Yeah, but that's just it… My mother's singing kept me
awake. What if we try that?"
"What's Rich trying to talk you into Tim?" Paul
asked coming up behind Richard.
Tim explained Richard's strange idea to Paul.
"Can't hurt!" Paul agreed when Tim finished.
Richard ran to his room to get the guitar he had put away
earlier.
"What're we gonna sing Ferguson?"
"How about a Rock ballad…with you singing it, it'd wake
anyone up!"
Paul gave Tim another dirty look.
Tim took a step back and held out his hands in a pleading
gesture.
Richard ran back and quickly tuned his guitar.
"Ready?" He asked. The other two nodded.
"One, two, three…"
*****
Solo groaned…why wouldn't Flacco shut up! He had
been spouting off some really bizarre observations and stories for the
past half an hour
and it was driving her nuts!
Suddenly the music stopped….Solo looked over - the animal
band had disappeared.
Great, Maybe Solo could convince Flacco to take a break
from dancing for a while.
As she turned to Flacco, a silver flash from the stage,
drew her eyes back.
Three young men had appeared, replacing the Giraffe, the
Panda and the Spider Monkey on the stage.
They were all dressed in black pants, white shirts, black
shoestring ties and black jackets. The jackets were covered in metallic
and sewn
on badges and what appeared to be paper clips and safety pins.
The tall, skinny one on the end was very handsome and
the cute one on the other end, holding the guitar looked really nervous.
However the
short one in the middle looked angry, aggressive and seemed very confident
not only in himself but in what he was doing, his hair was
tied back in a pony-tail and was shaven underneath but aside from the
shocking hairstyle, he was damned sexy Solo thought.
Beside her Flacco began to clap.
The short one turned on him and yelled, "Stop the clapping
or get out!"
Flacco stopped.
The short one went on. "Now for the rest of you
people…"
Solo looked around - she and Flacco were the only ones
in the room.
The short one continued, "This next song is a wonderful
piece of provocative prose. It was writing by Robert Plant and Mr.
Jimmy Page
and it is of course, stairway to heaven. We'd like those of you
who are asleep to please wake up when we hit the heavy rock part of the
song!"
The tall one butt in. "And who better to sing it
than our old school master form our school days, a man who changed our
lives entirely."
The short one cut in. "Is he the Crock of Gold?"
"No!" the other two shouted.
"Is he the Crock of shit?"
"No!" the other two screamed.
"Is her the Crocker Barry?"
"Yeah!" the tall one cried.
"The Crocker Barry!" the short one sang.
"Crocker Barry!" the other two repeated.
"Crocker Barry!"
"Crocker Barry!"
"Crocker Barry Crocker Barry Crocker…." They all sang
together.
"Please welcome to the stage Mister Barry Crocker!"
The tall one screamed.
The cute one screamed and the short one squealed and cheered
and Solo and Flacco clapped as an older man walked onto the stage…he was
wearing the same black pants, string tie, white shirt and strangely badge
clad jacket as the others… (Well not the exact same mind you because he
wouldn't fit into their clothes…no they were his own clothes they just
looked exactly like the outfits the other guys were wearing!)
The one on the end began to play the opening cords to
the song as Barry began to sing…
"There's a lady who sure,
All that glitters is Gold,
And she's buying a stairway to heaven,
When she gets there she knows,
If the stores are all closed,
With one word, she can get what she came for."
Flacco leaned over to Solo and whispered. "Want
another dance?"
Solo groaned…but it would be impolite to refuse so she
nodded.
The short one interrupted Barry and called out to Flacco.
"Oh that's…sorry about that Barry, Oi you, John! John. Could you
stop it.
There's a great performer here working and you're talking all the way
through it now have a bit of decency for someone else please."
Flacco looked at Solo and raised his shoulders, "but my
name's not John!"
"Now, everyone else…" the little man when on.
Again Solo looked around the room. Nup, no new people
had suddenly appeared. She and Flacco were still on their own.
"Who is the lady that Barry is talking about? It's
a question that we've all asked ourselves. To really understand this
song you've got to
listen to it not only with your minds but with your hearts. Who
is that lady? If you examine the text of this piece you will find
that this
lady is none other than Miss Shirley Bassy. Take it away Barry!"
Paul turned back to Barry with his arm outstretched.
Barry began to sing again,
"There's
a sign on the wall,
But she wants to be sure,
Cause she knows sometimes words have two meanings."
The tall one interrupted Barry. "Barry's right,
words have two meanings, they're called simel-hominies. Richard,
what's an example?"
The one with the guitar, Richard, answered him.
"Well, there's the word 'there' for example as in, 'isn't that their house
over there?'
there's two uses for the one word Tim."
The tall one, Tim, replied. "It certainly is, and
there are many other words that have two meanings like; hump, shag, root,
pork."
"Take it away Barry!" The short one said with a
giggle.
"And it's whispered that soon,
If we all call the tune,
Then the piper will lead us to reason."
The little one began to hump Barry's leg. Solo stifled
a giggle.
"And a new day will dawn,
For those who stand tall,
And the forests will echo with laughter."
Paul laughed in a really high-pitched giggle.
"Makes me wonder!" Barry continued.
"And it makes Barry wonder!" Tim, Richard
and the short one all said loudly.
"Makes me wonder!"
"And it makes Barry wonder!" they all cried.
Paul and Tim sang,
"If there's a bustle in your hedgerow,
Don't be alarmed now."
Barry interrupted. "It there's a bustle in your
hedgerow?"
In the background the lads continued to sing
"It's just a spring clean for the May Queen,"
"If I can have a moment," Barry said stepping in front
of the still singing lads, "That, of course, comes from the Latin…"
"Yes there are two paths you can go by,
But in the long run," they continued to sing.
"Busteelay in your fence. First used in Shakespeare's
wonderful play."
The lads went on,
"There's
still time to change the road you're on,
And it makes me wonder,"
Barry continued, "The taming of the shrew, when his wonderful
character Puck, said to the lovely Lady Hamlet, "May I put my bustle in
your hedgerow? I think there you see in the lyrics from Plant,
Planting that image… to make you wonder."
"Makes you wonder."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" The three lads jumped down off
the high stage with Barry and onto the floor. They began to dance.
Heavy drums and
guitar filled the background. The guys sang and Barry echoed
each line,
"As well
wind on down the road,
Our shadows taller than our souls,
There walks a lady we all know,
Who shines white light and wants to show,
How everything still turns to gold…"
"Finger!" Tim sang
"And if you listen very hard,
The tune will come to you at last,
When all are one and one is all,
To be a rock and not to rollllllllllllllllllllllllll…"
"To be a rock and not to roll!" Barry sang.
"Sounds like bullshit Barry!"
Barry sang the final bit of the song… the three guys climbed
back onto the stage and knelt at Barry's feet.
"And she's buying a stairway to……..
Hea- yeah yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yeah yeah yeah!!!
Heahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yea yeah yeah
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Hum ma magilla
Ha vana gilla
I'll build a stairway to paradise with the new step,
That's when good neighbours become,
She's buying a stairway to,
HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Barry!!!!!!!!!!!" The guys sang.
Time cried out, "Barry Crocker, ladies and gentlemen can
you please thank Mister Barry Crocker!!"
Solo and Flacco clapped.
Paul squealed.
*****
"Why don't we just leave her here…I mean, I'm sure we can figure out
the Time machine ourselves," Paul grumbled from his spot on the floor.
From their spots on the floor, Richard and Tim began to
laugh.
Richard put down his guitar.
"I have an idea!" Flacco suddenly suggested.
What is Flacco's idea?
Will it work?
What is the time on the time machine?
Solo seems to be enjoying her dream…but can we make it a little more
interesting?
STAY TUNED…