You may be wondering why the Triumvirate hasn't done anything special to celebrate the Blond-haired Angel God's day of birth. Why is there no birthday banner, you ask. Where is the virtual cake? The presents? Where's Ivan in his birthday suit? (And shame on you for asking that. You know as well as I do that Geocities has Content Guidelines prohibiting that sort of thing.) There are no easy answers for quandaries such as these.
Well, OK, we did at least try to send something. It's pretty hard to do much of anything when your Celebrity Lust Object has been out of the limelight for a few seasons. But we dutifully bought and inscribed an appropriate card, mailing it off to Ivan in care of Rebel Entertainment, the last address we have for him. Guess what? A week later, Jess checked her mailbox to find something in it bearing Ivan's name. Guess what else? It was our card. But we're not bitter. Oh noooo. Not us.
Also, we attempted to make a birthday banner for Ivan, perhaps displaying it as an interstitial page or something. But that, too, fell through. Jess sat with Photoshop for a good hour trying to be creative, but her muse failed her. Thus, DutchyWeb is pretty much the same as it has ever been. However, we did feel the need to publish a little Triumvirate Rant (tm) wishing Ivan a very happy 27th birthday. If he is, indeed, out there, and he knows what we're up to, he should know that we did not forget him on his birthday. We are wishing every good wish for the year to come, and may he have many, many happy returns.
So you probably won't be able to wish Ivan a happy birthday through here. But there is something you can do to celebrate this most Sacred of Dutchyism Holidays. Perform your civic duty. That's right. Do something nice for someone. For example, Jess gave blood on Wednesday and is planning to participate in OxFam (a symbolic fast to help end world hunger) on Thursday. So do something similarly nice. I mean, you should anyway, but Ivan's birthday just gives you one more reason.