"The Big Date" - Part V
Wednesday, 01-Nov-00 12:18:41
*So far...*
Leviathan and Widget's date had been going well,
even with the minor (and major) distractions.
Then Strider looked around the Coffeehouse and figured
out The Evil Persona's malevolent plan to destroy all love in
the Coffeehouse.
Enraged, the Persona teleported to the Coffeehouse,
finally deciding that if he wanted something done right,
he'd do it himself.
After a brief battle, the Evil Persona's identity is revealed...
-----
"...and just who the heck are you?" Strider asked, perplexed.
Unlike his fellow Rangerphiles, Strider had missed some time at the
Coffeehouse (a week here, a couple of months there), and thus did
not recognize the face. "Well, it doesn't really matter. Now that
we've got you, you can't stop their date--and you can't ruin the
love in the Coffeehouse!" Strider kicked the Evil One in the gut,
then set him up--and delivered--the Pedigree, one of professional
wrestling's deadliest moves. The impact with the floor knocked
him right out.
"He'll be out for a while," Strider smirked. "Take him out
back with the rest of the trash. I'm gonna go check on Leviathan."
He glanced over at Tenchi's table. "That is, after I see if
Mihoshi's all right..."
-----
(How could I resist that one? ^_^)
"Quote the Strider, forevermore."
Triple-S
---
A groan is heard from the downed TEP
Wednesday, 01-Nov-00 17:37:07
"Huh? What was that?" asked Widget Bernouli as she and
Leviathan finally snapped out of their reverie long enough to
hear a groan emanating from a corner. She and Leviathan then
noticed that the Coffeehouse was a shambles.
"Wh-- what just happened?" asked Leviathan. "Did we miss something?"
"Oh nothing!" Strider said, approaching their table,
"just another TEP, this time one trying to destroy all the love in the
universe. For some reason he made you two his primary target."
"I--I wonder why?" Leviathan said, "it's not like I'm an
expert on the subject."
"Do we know who he is?" asked Widget.
"Well, apparently some of the Rangerphiles do, but unfortunately
I'm not one of them. Go take a look if you want to."
And with that Strider whipped out a comb and proceeded to primp
himself up for his meeting with Mihoshi.
Leviathan and Widget found they were not alone around the
slumped body of the TEP. Many other Rangerphiles and other Coffeehouse
patrons were also taking advantage of this opportunity to see just
who the fiend was who had caused them such torment.
"Well? Who is it?" asked Strider.
"Can't you see? It's that 'Tim' character!" Jack said with some
impatience that this obvious fact was not recognized.
"Are you crazy? It's Boz!" said Kat.
"No, it's not Boz. It looks more like . . . Robo|\|erd!" said Aivars.
"Are you blind?" asked Kuwaini. "That's 'Malachite!' I'd
wondered what had happened to him. But why would he want to destroy love?"
"No, you're all wrong!" said the J.A.M. with conviction,
"that's David Gonterman. I'd wondered whatever happened to him."
"Wait a hoo-ha-in' minute!" said Bunnie Rabbot, who had been
observing the downed TEP with interest, "that's some sort of a
mask he's wearin'!" And sure enough, the others recognized some
sort of high-tech cloaking device that seemed to assume first one
identity, then another, of some of the long-vanished Rangerphiles
of the past.
"You're right, Bunnie!" J.A.M. said to the Lagomorph.
But then . . . who is it???"
"Only one way to find out!" And with her robotic arm she
reached down to tear the mask away and reveal . . .
"'The Enduring Man-Child'!!!" all those gathered about
(which now included everyone in the Coffeehouse)
exclaimed in one disbelieving voice.
"Yeah. That's right. I--it was me," Man-Child said in a
disconsolate voice that would have wrenched pity from a stone.
"But Man-Child!" said Strider "why would you, of all people,
try to destroy the love between any two Rangerphiles, much less
all the love in the universe?"
"Because . . . because it is something apparently only I
will never know!" Man-Child wailed.
"What are you talking about?" Strider demanded, "You're not
the only one! What about me? I don't have a girlfriend!"
"Oh yeah?" Man-Child sneered, "Who began this thread with you?"
"You mean Ka-- . . . Kat?" asked Strider, suddenly thoughtful.
"Yeah. You and I used to be in the same boat," Man-Child
complained bitterly, "but now Leviathan has Widget, and it
looks like Kat has chosen you. And that leaves only me!!!"
And he began weeping bitterly.
"Now wait a minute!" Kat protested, "I think you're reading
way too much into this situation!"
"Oh yeah?" Man-Child sneered. "Look at all of you! Only I
am alone now! Only I!" And he wept bitterly.
"Er . . . look, Man-Child. Sorry about that Pedigree.
I never suspected it was you. Honest."
"Look at me!" Man-Child cried out in a primal scream, as if
he had not heard a word, "I'm not handsome! I'm not graceful!
I'm no catch, and I know it! But I am a human being, with all
the feelings and needs of any other human being!"
"Uh--" Karl started to say, but Man-Child was hearing none of it.
"All along I've taken comfort in being one of an unfortunte
minority. But no longer! Now everyone has been picked by someone,
and only I remain alone! Well, it's not fair! It's not fair,
do you hear??? I'm a human being! I'm a Rangerphile! I have the
same right to love as any other human being, and I DEMAND MY
CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS!!!"
"You know, self-pity is never the right way to go about
winning points on anything," Aivars said.
"Do you see now why I wanted to destroy all love???
Because it isn't right that everyone should be entitled to it but
me!!! Well, if I can't have love, then NO ONE can have it!!!!!"
Man-Child was now in the madness of despair.
"You poor guy," Tenchi said with sincere compassion.
"I wish I could give you one of my girlfriends. I really
have too many." This caused some dirty looks to be exchanged
among his female companions.
"And you think," Jack the Doom Marine said, "that by pitching
a fit and lamenting your lot you will accomplish what you failed
to do as a Totally Evil Presence???"
"Well, why not?" asked Man-Child with a look of madness
and desperation upon his face, showing that he was not entirely
himself. "I have nothing to offer. I'm not handsome. I'm not
charming. Instead what I need is a superior being who needs
nothing from me, an angel, who will take pity upon me and in
an act of supreme compassion swoop down upon me and rescue me
from sheer oblivion!"
"I know just how you feel!" Brock sympathized.
"And you think one of these females here will respond to
your need and your helplessness?" asked Attic Rat.
"Well, why not?" Man-Child said with an air of entitlement.
"The women here are good people. They're my friends. I'm sure
that somewhere ONE of them will take pity on me and be my angel!
Okay!" he said looking around, "Who's it gonna be??? Who's gonna
be the heroine of this story???" He puckered his lips out an inch
in the madness of anticipation.
The room waited . . .
"The Enduring Man-Child"
---
She still could not believe it...
Wednesday, 01-Nov-00 18:09:31
...and for a moment Kat thought she was looking at the
Evil Man-Child Clone from "The Magic Bus Ride" thread instead.
~Afterall, the real Man-Child wouldn't do something like this--would he? ~
she thought. At the moment, she couldn't be sure. "Where'd he get
the idea that Strider and my Writer were a couple, anyway?" the
cat-earred human muttered. "She just sticks up for him like she'd
would for any other good friend." Kat realized she was muttering &
wondered if anybody had heard.
~Gotta stop mumbling to myself--and talking to inanimate objects
for that matter.~
Then she just realized something. ~Aw, crud! Man-Child is
another friend o' my Writer's and I just attacked him!
But I didn't know it was him...~
Kat just stood there, stunned and confused.
Kat
---
In another time and place, a wicked chuckle:
Wednesday, 01-Nov-00 22:49:40
"Ah, it worked! How deliciously cruel! How diabolically cunning!
The Puppet played his part, never knowing of his strings!"
The evil presence quietly withdrew his mind-twisting influence
from the huddled form of the Enduring Man-Child. The whispers
from the blackness faded, their voices no longer crying of loneliness,
desperation, and madness...
Lying on the floor, EMC suddenly had a thought. "Uhm.. How many
here at the coffeehouse didn't bring a date?" He asked.
Jack raised his hand, but only one. The other was still holding
that lamp cord - just in case.
Attic Rat said "Yo!"
They looked around. "That makes three of us all in the same boat,
romance-wise." Jack shrugged.
"I'm sure there's more in a crowd this big."
He looked at EM-C, "There's a heckuva lotta lonely people out here,
away from the Doom game."
Attic Rat added, "You could do like my writer does when I
complain about being alone."
He snapped his fingers.
"Again!!?" A voice from "elsewhere" asked.
"Ah, c'mon!" wheedled Attic Rat.
"What the heck... Just wait a minute."
There was a scratching sound, like a cosmic pencil
(a Pentel Forte A55) writing upon the fabric of Reality. And then:
"Hello!" A big-eyed cute-as-a-button female rat walked in through
the doorway, and gave Attic Rat a big smile.
"See how easy?" Attic Rat said.
"'Toons!" Jack muttered, shaking his head.
Karl
---
[as Fred Flintstone] Hold it! Hooooooooooold iiiiiiiit!!!!
Wednesday, 01-Nov-00 23:56:20
[...unWARP!!!]
Good evening.
*************
"Geez, Man-Child, sorry about the uppercut," said The J.A.M. "I guess I
acted on instin--"
Suddenly the Panther stiffened again.
As well as Kuwani and Chipper.
"Something isn't right. The Tremendously Evil Presence just van--"
* * * * * *
In another dimension, the TEP caught his error in time.
"Whoopsie. Those three are too sensitized to my dimentional biorythms!"
* * * * * *
"What?" asked Bunnie.
"Um, nothing. For a moment I thought that the TEP had vanished again."
"Odd, me too," added Chipper, "and all that was left was Man-Child here. . . . ."
* * * * * *
"So you did, 'Jedi'. Fools!!"
* * * * * *
*************
Until next time, remember:
I AM THE J.A.M.
Good evening.
[WARP!!!]
The J.A.M.
---
In that case . . .
Thursday, 02-Nov-00 09:45:41
After seeing the results Attic Rat achieved, Man-Child
fought back a paroxysm of jealousy and made smoochie noises
with his protruding, puckered lips.
"C'mon, ladies!" he said, "I know someone out there wants
to be a selfless angel and save me from black despair!"
And then . . .
"The Enduring Man-Child"
---
Taking Kuwani and Chipper aside. . .
Thursday, 02-Nov-00 21:55:58
[...unWARP!!!]
Good evening.
*************
"You felt that shift, too, right?" The J.A.M. asked Kuwani.
"Yes."
"And doesn't this look odd?" he continued. "He recovered
instantly from an uppercut that, and I'm not bragging, would
have sent Monty into next week. He shot energy from his hands,
he was able to dematerialise. . . . .and he's still the
Man-Child everyone knows?"
"I see what you mean," said Chipper. "Then the TEP shifted
for a moment, and Man-Child was back to normal. The TEP MUST have
given him that power!"
"And it took advantage of his less-than-fortunate amorous
life to work through him."
"And what's more," added Bunnie, who had been listening,
"If you three say the TEP only shifted, that means that it's
still within Man-Child, and still in control of him!!"
All four looked at each other, and said,
"Oh dear. . . ."
At that moment. . . .
*************
Until next time, remember:
I AM THE J.A.M.
Good evening.
[WARP!!!]
The J.A.M.
---
Aivars went over to Manchild
Friday, 03-Nov-00 09:18:37
Aivars withnessed the appearance of AtticRat's partner
with keen iterest, but then shook his head.
That was not what he imagined he would like. Now if...
--
TEP grinned.
Actually, for once, his attemts were near devastating.
Deciding to press teh advantage, he looked over the crowd
around his prevous victim for a new sourceof frustration and
suppressed emotios, that he coud inhibit.
The loe guy who was somewhat reluctantly looking at
teh commotion seemed promising.
The more it was intrigued by stare, he was unconsciously
giving toward one named Strider, TEP had old bone to pick.
TEP puled the image closer. Was it really a jealoys? He was lucky guy!
And TEP took off toward his new target.
Aivars
---
Aivars, you're a nice guy but if you kiss me I'll SCREAM!
"The Enduring Man-Child"
---
Meanwhile, unseen by the others:
Friday, 03-Nov-00 15:42:40
The two Lawhinies glared at each other, then turned to watch the fun.
Slowly, one Lawhinie grinned an unpleasant sort of smile.
The sort of smile one rarely associates with prey species...
She turned to the other Lawhinie, who seemed similarly deep in thought.
"Easily manipulated"
"Oh, yes.. I like that in a male. Don't you?"
"He's a writer too, a good one."
"I know that, I know what control over a writer means to us 'toons, too."
"Flip a coin?"
"Take turns."
"Gotcha!"
For a moment the evil aura of the TEP seemed almost matched,
as the two Lawhinies shook paws on their new project.
Karl
---
Further conversation amongst the Lawhinies.
Monday, 06-Nov-00 20:32:13
"We have just one little problem, sis."
"That was never proven, the blood tests were inconclusive!"
"After what happened to the doctor, I'm not suprised.
Impressed, yes, but not suprised."
"Thank you. Now, what is this little problem?"
"That TEP character. He's still controlling our target - er,
I mean, friend."
"So, we free him from the TEP. No problem."
"We could use help on this."
"You think so? Who'd help us? We're the bad girls in this fanfic."
"Freeing a writer makes us the "Good Girls".
"Hmmm... Twisted! I like it. Any ideas?"
"We bring in the Ultimate Good Girl!"
"Who? Gadget? Foxy? Kiki?"
"Snap out of it, sis! We get Ms. Brisby!"
The two simply exchanged a "look", the plan was begun.
Soon, EM-C would belong to the Lawhinies, heart and soul...
Karl
---
Unnnoticed at teh same time
Thursday, 09-Nov-00 08:08:42
Aivars sighted, decided that he would need to make a raid
on the bar looking for some georgian red wine, when he stumbled a bit.
Wehn he straightened, he suddenly discovered himself confined
to the watcher's role in his body...
'What the...' he gasped.
'Enjoy the show, while i get rid of all this love and passions
that are making me sick!' leery voice answered.
'I know it will gona hurt me plenty' aivars thought, seeing
how his hands stretched out and then sharply pulled the tails
of twin Lavainees.
'dont say you didnt dream do that' voice sneered.
Twin screams of anger followed.
Aivars
---
anger in stereo
Both Lawhinees yelped and turned around.
"How dare you!" growled the first one.
"What possesed you to do that?!" growled the other.
"Did you think that was funny?" the first mouse asked Aivars.
"I didn't." commented Lawainee #2, who had her arms crossed.
"Let's pull his ears." suggested #1.
"I have a better idea." declared #2 while grinning evilly.
She whispered something into the first Lawhinee's ear.
Kat
---
Jack carefully stepped away from EM-c.
Sunday, 12-Nov-00 16:08:12
While the Man-child was still behaving in a peculiar and
ungentlemanly manner, Jack wasn't concerned. After all, EM-c
wasn't an officer.
What captured Jack's interest was a subtle shift in the
aura of the Tremendously Evil Presence. Unlike the skills of the
Jedi, Jack's ability was a dim, insubstantial thing, like a hunch,
an impulse to turn and look when no sound or sight had warned him.
Like a blind person finding the position of the sun by its warmth
upon his face, he turned back and forth, slowly.
In a few moments, he was facing Aivars.
"What posessed him?" He commented. "good question, Lawhinie!"
The two malicious mouse misses glared at Aivars, but one
muttered to the other, "This could be a good thing, if the TEP is
controlling Aivars, it might not be watching Roy Neal!"
The other replied, "Maybe, but I still want to put a twist
in this guy's knickers!"
"So do I."
"Did you email Ms. Brisby?"
"Yep!"
"Good, now let's get this tail-tugging TEP-takeover!!!"
"Hey, sis?"
"Don't call me that."
"Cut down on the espresso, 'K?"
Karl
---
From passenger side of view
Aivars wanted to do something, but the soft velvet voice
into his head ony laughed.
#Hey! Its my body, you are now condemning to the pain!#
Aivars attempted to take the controls back. Too bad,
currently it was like running into wall headfirst. Of course,
doing so long enough could in theory wear the wall down,
however in practice head would be first to give in...
Ignoring tho mice (Aivars thought for a moment, only thing
missing from the picture was the steam blowing from their ears),
his body turned and now faced Kat and others who were still
looking at the EMC.
#Uh oh, guys, better turn this way before its too late...#
Aivars thought in panic, hoping that maybe someone could hear
his mental scream, before it goes too bad.
Into light steps, his body started to move toward the Kat
and Strider, leaving Atticrat at the one side, and Jack the marine
at other.
For a moment Aivars thought Jack was looking at him,
but then he couldnt see him anymore.
#what you have in mind?# he asked.
#You will see... in a sec... don't wanna blow the surprise, do you?#
Aivars
---
Attic Rat tries to play hero:
Tuesday, 14-Nov-00 20:37:30
Having heard the discussion between Jack and the Lawhinies,
and seen the posessed Aivars moving toward Kat and Strider,
Attic Rat shouted a warning to them. He then threw himself at Aivars'
feet in a try at tackling the man.
As TEP-Aivars stumbled, Jack pushed from behind. In a moment,
the posessed Rangerphile was sprawled on the floor. Jack was
pulling the lamp cord back out of his pocket when the two Lawhinies
rushed past him and sat on Aivars' shoulders.
"Do we get to pull on something now?" One muttered into
Aivars' ear, as she playfully, but firmly, gripped it.
Having become bored with lying on the floor, the Enduring Man-Child
sat up and watched the show. He was trying to decide whether he was
feeling jealousy for Aivars' situation with the two attractive-if-evil
girls sitting on him, or pity. It wasn't an easy question.
Karl
---
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