Even though Tom was having a lot of fun whacking the countless hoards of evil
minions with his staff, there were just so many that he began to feel that he
could really be more productive if he tried some other method. So, Tom
momentarily left the battlefield.
A short time later, the sky began to go dark. Motion on the field ceased
as all looked up to see an ominous black cloud beginning to block out the sun.
"I think we're in trouble.", Chip said, fearing the worst.
But TPL instantly knew what was happening. "Don't worry Chip. This is a
good thing."
"You call an ominous black cloud of doom a good thing?"
"I do if it's on our side! Take a look!" TPL handed Chip a viewing device
much like a pair of binoculars.
Through it, Chip could see that the cloud was actually made up of tens of
thousands, possibly millions, of individual animals.
"They're dragons!", Chip cried.
The cloud then began to descend on to the battlefield in a fiery swarm, as
the dragons began gorging themselves on the countless
hoards of evil minions. Chip noticed that one dragon stood out from the
others, being much larger than most, and was leading the
charge. Chip zoomed in to get a better look at it, and noticed that Tom
was riding it's back while waving a sword in the air. The dragon
swooped down, scooped up a mouthful of the countless hoards of evil
minions, and then chewed then politely, 32 times before
swallowing. It then rose back into the air, and turned towards Chip's
camp. When the dragon had arrived, it set down and let Tom off
it's back. It then returned to rejoin the feast, where some of the dragons
could be heard having a grand old time, and saying things
such as, "Mmm! Crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside!", "Hey! We
could use some milk over here!", and "Pardon me. Would
you have any Grey Poupon?"
"Hiya everyone!", Tom said with a grin.
"You brought those dragons here?", Chip asked him, somewhat in shock.
"Sure! I thought I'd make use of some of this planet's natural resources.
They're really nice creatures, assuming you don't invade their
homeworld like those guys did.", Tom said, pointing towards the field.
"And don't worry, I also told them to only eat the countless
hoards of evil minions, so they'll leave the main baddies for us to have
fun with!"
"Wow!", Chip exclaimed. "This could really help turn the tide!"
"Aw, it was nothin'. Oh, and I almost forgot. On the way to talk to the
dragons, I ran into a strange lion. I think his name was Asland
or something. Anyway, he gave me some swords to give to you guys. My
sword..." pointing to his own, "is the Sword of Augury."
Tom then handed out the others to the Rangerphiles that were nearby, each
sword with a different name, such as the Sword of
Portent, the Sword of Foretelling, The Sword of Presage, the Sword of
Prognostication, the Sword of Foreboding, the Sword of
Premonition, the Sword of Intimation. "Oh, and Karl. Be careful with that
Sword of Prognostication.", Tom told him as he handed it to
Karl. "It seems to have an attitude."
"Oh, sure.", Karl said to Tom. "Give me the one that's defective." Upon
hearing itself called defective, The Sword of Prognostication
gave Karl a moderate shock. "Gee. DC power, and good amperage. Not bad.",
he said as Romy tried to get close enough to inhale the
smoke wafting off of him.
Tom
---------------------
Karl looked dubiously at his new Sword of Prognostication, and decided to find
out what, if anything, the name was supposed to indicate.
"Sword, do you fortell the future?" He asked, feeling a bit foolish.
"So, who wants to know!?" Replied a brazen, but bell-like voice.
"The guy who's probably going to have to hack up a few bad guys with you,
and if you aren't polite maybe I won't be so careful with
your edge." Rejoined Karl, in a cutting tone.
"You know, I think I'm gonna like this gig!" The sword sounded quite
pleased. This was going to be the start of a wonderful
friendship.
"So, will we win this war?" Asked Karl.
"Not if you don't shut up and start swinging!"
Karl
-------------
From the last post...
"Now U shall deal with US, jaguar. . .AND ALL THE POWERS OF
HELL!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Now where have I heard that before?" asked Wescott.
"Esto no me gusta nada. . ." mumbled the panther. . .
and now...
Just then the sound of a shotgun roared and one of the witch's chest blew
apart. She crumpled to the ground with a shriek.
"All the powers of hell huh?" came a voice. "Been there, done that." Up
stepped a man in green armor, a helmet, and various weapons
strapped to him.
Wescott looked at him in disbelief. "Its the DOOM GUY!"
The Doom guy kicked the fallen Negaduck, who got up and took the knife
from his chest with a groan.
"Hey, I though he was dead," said Tammy.
"You can't kill me," said Negaduck, "I'm a toon!" He began to laugh evily.
The Doom guy shoved his missle lancher under Negaducks beak and fired. The
villian was propelled about half a mile into the air
before the missle exploded. The explosion threw him even farther into the
atmosphere where he collided with the planetary shield.
After being fried for several seconds, he started to fall, but was nailed
again by The Jugernaut who had been send into orbit at just
about the same time by Hercules. Negaduck was propelled into the planetary
shield once again and fried again before falling and
landing several miles from any of the fighting. He had the energy to
whimper, "Owwww," before blacking out for the remainder of the
battle.
"You know," remarked The J.A.M. "It would have been less painful for him
if he had just died from the knife." He grinned, "I'm glad
he lived..."
The Doom guy slung his rocket launcher over his shoulder and whipped out
his BFG. "So lets go get those forces of hell already."
"They don't stand a chance," said jaguar.
Chipper
----------------
Uh, I did it with my CLAWS, not a knife (and THIS continuity is not over yet)
Thursday, 24-Dec-98 11:45:15
206.49.58.30 writes:
[...unWARP!!!]
Good evening.
The Jaguar knocked out the remaining witch with one swift kick from his
mountain-bike-hardened legs. But, the short witch was small
and frail anyways and was not swift enough to counter the blow. A
sickening crack was heard just before she fell down.
"Now, as I was saying, we should get Tammy and Wescott back to safet--"
Suddenly, large balls of light appeared out of nowhere, bouncing all over
the sky like ping-pong balls. Accompanying the balls was a
high-pitched noise that rose and fell as the balls bounced to and fro.
The planet's surface was not the only place where this was happening, the
light balls were also bouncing back and forth among both
the good and the evil space fleets above the earth.
"Ready wave-motion gu--" Captain Wildstar of the Argo was interrupted by
this phenomenon.
All fighting ceased, good guys and villains all stood stone-still to gaze
at the phenomenon.
"SCAN!!" ordered Picard.
"Captain, those objects are moving too fast to get a fix on them!!"
repleid Worf.
"Perhaps they are other Q?" asked Data.
In all, no scanning device of any ship, not even the computer at the
Coffeehouse could identify the phenomenon.
However, on board the Galactica, as soon as the balls appeared, Adama's
blood went to his feet. Slowly, he stood, as the rest of his
crew.
"Oh my, they're back. . ."
Until next time, remember:
I AM THE J.A.M.
Good evening.
[WARP!!!]
The J.A.M.
--------------------
**Editor's note: If you wish to disregard this ending as the official ending,
feel free to do so. However, as I started the thread (and
yes, Chipette, you were the one who suggested it), I feel compelled to
draw a resolution. But, the end of the battle is not the end of the action.**
With the aid of the dragon residents of the planet, the battle on the
ground was now balanced about fifty-fifty. Heavy infighting was
going in several areas, but the evil forces remaining had now gathered in
the central area in an all-out attempt to prevent the summoning of Wiz-Ra.
But even as the fighting escalated, the portal was finished!
"Storm! Use your elemental powers and kick this thing into action!" Gadget
yelled.
Storm rose up into the sky. "I summon the power of lightning! Arise, and
aid our cause!"
Storm (boy, that's a lot of storms in a row) clouds gathered almost
instantly and a giant bolt of lightning flared and Sue selectively
allowed it through her shield to energize the portal.
But that was the moment Mumm-Ra had been waiting for. As the lightning
descended, he stretched forth his hand and the evil magic
added to the power of the lightning. Immediately, the portal activated,
but it was going into overload.
"Everyone, run for the hills!" Dexter shouted. "She's gonna blow!"
"Is there anything we can do?" Reed Richards asked.
"Nothing," Panthro answered. "In thirty seconds, that thing's going to
blow up!"
Then, in the archway at the top of the machine, a bluish oval rip in the
fabric of space appeared. It was Wiz-Ra! Cheetara, who loved
him ever since she first met him, ran to his side.
"Wiz-Ra! Can you make it through the portal?" Cheetara asked.
"I could, beautiful Cheetara, but it would do you no good," Wiz-Ra said.
"I would be useful only a short time in your dimension; if I
could not get back to the seventh dimension by day's end, I would die and
the evil would still win."
"But what can we do, then?" Cheetara asked, pain in her voice.
"The answer is simple. One already exists in that universe that can stop
them. All he has to do is appear, and the evil ones will flee."
Cheetara shook her head. "But no one here has been able to stop the evil.
Who is this person?"
"Me," a voice said. All heads, good and evil turned in flabbergasted
silence, and just stared.
On another part of the planet, Indy and Man-Child had just finished
rescuing Chipette. She and her creation Animollie had gone to
save Monty and Chedderhead Charlie. The bold men were looking for a new
challenge when a loud beeping was heard.
"What is that?" Man-Child asked.
Indy looked around, then realized the source. "Hmm, it's coming from my
ring. By I don't remember it beeping before....Wait a moment,
we celebrated Christmas here on the Dragon Planet yesterday. What day is
it on Earth?"
Man-Child checked the intergalactic chronometer he kept with him. "By
standard Earth time, it is now midnight, Christmas Eve, GMT."
"Ah, that explains it!" Indy shouted. "I forgot all about being chosen
this year. Come on, let's get back to the others. I think our
problems are over!"
"SANTA!" yelled the evil leaders.
Indeed it was Santa Claus, the jolly old elf himself. The bad guys were no
under the gaze of Old Saint Nick, and no bad guy stands a
chance under that.
Dr. Doom ran up and started crying out, "Please, Santa, this wasn't my
idea! Don't give me coal and switches again! Please!"
The other bad guys were now making the same pleas as Indy and Man-Child
made their way back to the main group.
Santa mused on it for a moment, then answered, "If you clean up all this
mess you've made and clear the spaceways of all your ships
and derelicts, then I /might/ consider it."
Instantly, several thousand bad guys were working to clean up the planet.
The Borg ships were called off, the Death Star was towed
away and all the enemy forces sent back to their places of origin.
All the good guys that had been injured were now under the care of TPL or
the Star Trek medical staffs.
The remaining good guys all gathered around Father Christmas, who had
landed his sleigh on the platform. Strangely, it had not
exploded, but as it had outlived its usefulness as a plot device, it had
simply shut down and sent Wiz-Ra home.
Chip and the Rangers came up first to thank Santa. "We're confused about
something, Santa," Chip said. Why didn't you show up earlier?"
"Well," Santa said, "I had to finish double checking my list first. But
also, I was meant to be here now. Don't forget, the ultimate Good guy is my
boss."
"You mean.." Chip started to say.
"Well, where do you think all those presents come from? I don't have the
net worth to make them all year after year? And the Earth's resources would have
been depleted centuries ago if I was using natural materials."
"OH...," the group remarked.
"But isn't this your busiest time of the year, now?" Gadget asked.
"Indeed it is, and that's another reason why I'm here. Indy, are you ready
to go?" Santa asked.
Everyone turned to look at Indy as he made his way through the crowd. "I
won the chance this year to ride shotgun with Santa.
That's why I had this ring with me, in case I was selected."
"Come on, Indy," Santa said with noted impatience. "We've got to get back
so we can do the final preflight check and make sure
everything's still working on this sleigh."
Indy signaled for Santa to wait a moment. The Rangers and the Rangerphiles
all came forward and he hugged them all, one by one.
Then he nodded to the coffeehouse.
"Don't worry folks! I'll be back as soon as the job's done! In the
meanwhile, I just asked E-Man to bring in some entertainment till I get
back! Have fun!"
With that, the familiar sleigh with eight tiny reindeer rose into the air
and disappered from sight. The memory of the moment had
barely settled in, when the sounds of an electric guitar captured
everyone's attention.
A rather high-pitched voice announced, "Welcome, Rangers, Rangerphiles,
and assorted heroes! It's time to celebrate the victory
with a little holiday rock and roll!"
A nice stage with the works in terms of lighting and sound had been set up
by TPL and E-Man. At the mike was none other than
Alvin, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes at his side. Everyone grooved to
their version of "Jingle Bells." Soon, they were joined by
the Beach Boys for a rollicking combined version of "Little Saint Nick."
Everyone was enjoying the holiday hit fest, and even the Rangerphiles that
hadn't danced earlier were joining in the fun. It was just
the start of what would be later known as Christmaspalooza, one of the
best year-end bashes ever. The ranks of the guest bands had
just started, and there was plenty more to come!
Indy
---------------
as the Chipmunks and the Chipettes sang Christmas songs, the one cheering the
most was of course Chipette. she was right up next
to the stage screaming and smiling ear to ear. Alvin, seeing his fan, came
up to the edge and kissed her hand. she nearly fainted.
Brittany glared at him and looked for a male fan to flirt with. Chipette
turned to Fidessa and screamed "he kissed my hand! oh my God!
oh my God! i'll never wash my hands again!"
Chris, who was next to Chipette and new to the music of the Chipmunks,
laughed. he hadn't seen Chipette so happy since the bus had
arrived. she was singing along and dancing and having the time of her
life. a time she would remember and cherish for the rest of her
life.
in between songs, the Boz up working the sound switched gears, and started
playing the recording of Chipette's song. The
Chipmunks and the Chipettes, startled, looked around to figure out who the
singer was. Chipette's beet-red blush gave it away. Chris
looked at her and also blushed, realizing that the song was dedicated to
him.
when the concert was over, Chipette and Chris sat down with some cookies
and milk to talk. Alvin casually walked up to Chipette and
smirked, "you know, you're not a bad singer."
Chipette's blush returned. "thanks! you know, i've always dreamed of
singing a duet with you."
"you want to now?"
"oh i don't know i mean there's so many people hear and they'd probably
rather not hear me singing and-"
Alvin cut her off from her fast rambling and took her hand. he led her up
on stage and stepped up to the mike.
"excuse me, could i have everyone's attention please?" the room fell
silent.
"thank you. i have someone here who's really wanting to sing a duet with
me, so i'm gonna do one more song."
Alvin started, "Rockin' around the Christmas tree," and Chipette joined
in. they sang a beautiful rendition of it. the room broke into
wild applause when they finished. Chipette, overcome with emotion, seized
Alvin and gave him a huge kiss. stars began floating
around Alvin's head as he staggered off the stage with a goofy grin.
"Chipette must be going for a record here," Chip ruefully mused. "that's
the second toon she's kissed so far!"
Dale overheard him and replied with a snicker, "i wonder if she'll be
kissing any more chipmunks."
"you're married, Dale, don't count on it!"
Chipette sat back down next to Chris, her heart pounding.
"Chipette, you're going to be the most experienced kisser here by
tomorrow!"
Chipette would have given him a playful smack, but she was in too good of
a mood. instead, she placed a delicate kiss on his cheek
and said, "darn straight!"
Brittany stood with her arms crossed and watched Alvin dizzily sit down,
still recovering from Chipette's kiss.
Chipette
----------
Suddenly, the air was filled with the sound of transporter shimmer. It was Indy!
The erstwhile traveler greeted everyone warmly and received hugs and
kisses in return. Indy proceeded to tell everyone about his
travels with Santa and how the space-time continuum slows down when you're
in the sleigh.
"Oh, that reminds me," Indy said, taking the special ring off his finger.
"You only get to ride shotgun in the sleigh once, and then you
must pick a successor. I chose Man-Child as my successor for saving my
life on our rescue mission to save Chipette."
Everyone clapped and shouted while Man-Child took the ring and thanked
Indy for his choice. Then Indy looked around. "Hey, I
came here for a party! Let's get it rolling again before we have to go
home!"
With that, the musicians cranked back up and Christmaspalooza took off
again. The Rangers, Rangerphiles and assorted heroes
danced the night away to a parade of performers, including Tony Bennett,
Johnny Mathis, Alabama, the Judds, Boyz 2 Men, and that
neat group that does the songs in the Scooby Doo shows whose name escapes
me at the moment.
Finally, though, the singing, dancing and general fun had to come to an
end. No one could remember a better time. The assorted
heroes left first, very kindly cleanup up most of the mess (Storm should
hire herself out to the Macy's parade for clean-up duty).
Then it was time for the Rangers and Rangerphiles to part. It was sad, but
everyone had promised to make this an annual event. Chip
spoke for the Rangers. "Everyone is welcome back next year. Just remember
to bring warmer clothes next time, /Chris/, and that you're
all honorary Rescue Rangers in our book!"
TPL and E-Man had made up for the most part. TPL even offered to transport
him home with his T-Pad, but E-Man refused, saying he
had three life-or-death calls waiting. He climbed on his speeder, said a
quick goodbye, and jumped through the E-Portal.
Everyone else started making their way to the bus. Indy stopped and turned
back to Chip. "Is there really a presskit out there to be
had?"
"Oh, yes, it's out there Indy. You'll know where to look," Chip said.
"Thanks. For everything."
"No, thank you. And I can't wait to see that new fanfic."
"I've already started it, and I really like it. I know you will too."
Goodbyes were said all around. It was a little sad, but the knowledge that
this would not be a one-time deal made the parting easier to
deal with. Everyone got on the bus, Gadget and TPL taking their places.
As the remaining Rangers waved goodbye and the bus started, Chipper looked
around and said, "I guess there's only one thing to
say then..." Everyone nodded agreement, and as one they all said, "Rescue
Rangers, AWAY!"
Indy
------------------
TPL, very upset that all his tech was defiled by many authors, left all the
happy festitvites and whent back to his lab to descide witch
way to blow up earth, with the promis to distroy anyone who disturbed or
tries to stop him.
The Dragon Plannet's computer systems descided that the tiny airea that
has been wrecked would be best to be just leveled and the
Ranger Coffeehouse moved to an orbiting stasion.
E-Man was quickly converted to info and stored on a PUNCHED CARD, from
wittch he COULD NOT excape. This was then locked in a box and stored.
TPL's shields final free from the corupting infliance of the other
Rangerphiles whent back to there full 'can stand up to EVENT ONE'
status. The knowage that the intire Dragon Plannet would be distrued by
the BILLIONS of borg cubes that arouned the plannet
hopefully keeping any more authors from voiding it's INFINATIVE live
wareaty.
The ring of borg cubes that normaly srounded the dragon plannet once again
thickened and retuened there normal attemts to break
the shield.
TheBoz, ignored, lurked in the CoffeeHouse controll room and desused his
life with Electra.
One by one, the systems in the area aroung the Coffeehosue returned to
it's normal statuss and functions.
Thus it was. And thus would it stay.
--------------------------
I think you can guess that I'm a little upset at the way that TPL's tech
and plannet has been treated.
TheBoz
-----------------
Once back on Earth, Indy was met by E-Man, who was in a horrible mood.
"What's the problem, pal?" Indy asked
"Oh, that TPL!" E-Man shouted. "He went into vengeful rage over everyone
penetrating his shields, and he decided to take it out on me!"
"What did he try to do?" Indy asked.
"He tried to put me on a PUNCH CARD!" E-Man said. "It's just lucky he
didn't know I can make electromagnetic duplicates of myself.
Somewhere, an image of myself is trapped on an ancient computer card."
"Well, don't let it worry you, E-Man," Indy said. "We did take a lot of
literary license with TPL's planet and technology."
"I'ts not our fault," E-Man said. "He should have defined his planet's
technology better. Anyhow, no technology is undefeatable."
"I'd advise you not to go there anytime soon, though. He's really in a
huff." Indy replied. "But besides that, what did you think of our
adventure?"
"Oh, it was good, but I'd have liked to have ridden with Santa too." E-Man
said.
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind you tagging along with him and Man-Child next
year."
"Uh, Indy, you do realize that Man-Child celebrates the Jewish holidays,
don't you?"
"Yeah, but they both work for a Jewish boss, so I don't think he'll mind."
Indy
----------------
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