Y2K, The Thread--Part3
----------------------
The search for writers, to power an RV:
The RV road trip was doing pretty well, it handled nicely on the freeway and Julie had discovered a large knife in a
kitchen drawer.
Karl spared a glance toward her, noting that she was busily stitching together a sheath for her new "sword".
"I take it you found the patching material I had bought, in the event the upholstery was torn..."
"Is that what this was?" She grinned.
Karl just nodded and turned back to his driving.
"By the way, Julie, I'm not from around here. Do you recognize this part of Arizona?"
Julie looked out, and saw:
Beyond the reaches of the normal civilized world, where the prairie winds blow, desert mesas rise in colors ranging
from startling reds to gentle yellows and the new and the old mix in the strangest ways lies the land of Chateau Pax.
"Nope!"
"We'd better pull in here and ask directions."
"Good idea, I noticed that the RV has been acting strangely since we tried to write it to the Coffeehouse."
"Strangely? How?"
"Well, the sky keeps changing colors. And the scenery ahead of us isn't always the same after we pass it."
"That wasn't your famous Arizona scenery?"
Julie gave Karl one of those, 'get a clue' looks, and said slowly and carefully, "Nowhere in Arizona do palm trees turn
into cactus while you look at them."
"Unless you've been out in the desert too long."
That got him another "look".
"By the way, there's something you should know about me." Karl continued.
"Ah, my goddess!" Julie thought to herself, "If that isn't the absolute worst thing a man could say out here in the middle
of nowhere.." She clenched her teeth into a semblence of a smile and asked, "What's that, Karl?" While checking her
upholstery-holstered knife. Yes, it should slide out without binding...
"In about 30 hours, I will evaporate. I'll leave you this RV, and you'll find about a thousand dollars in twenties rolled up
in a fake seven-up can in the cupbord with the neckties." He commented in an offhand manner. "If you want, we can
drive back to your school before then - there's still plenty of time for that."
Julie sat there, going over his words one by one, hoping to extract some sort of sense from them...
Karl
------
Hmm...Shao must have finally gotten the sign up...
::Inside the Sazerac Saloon::
Indy: So what's this emergency?
E-Man: Julie and Karl must have gotten lost somehow and have found the secret gateway to Chateau Pax, but the
gateway's on the fritz! I've got to open our side of it or they could be trapped in there!
::E-Man disappears through the E-Portal and appears just outside of town. He concentrates and uses his EM powers
to open the gateway to Chateau Pax. The RV comes through smooth as silk, and pulls up outside of the Sazerac::
E-Man: Whew! Say, how did you two get here?
Julie: We got lost--it says so up there at the top!
E-Man: Oh, right. Well, what brings you here?
Karl: We've trying to get to the Coffeehouse, actually. Do you mind pointing the way, attendant?
::E-Man levitates and lightning flashes from his hands::
E-Man: I'm no service attendant! I'm E-Man, master of the electromagnetic spectrum and Emperor of the E-Planet!
Karl: Uh huh. Now which way?
***
::Chip, Dale and Pikachu have been in a group meeting for the last half-hour--either that, or they're all having a hard
time learning gin-rummy::
Chip: So let's find someone who can get us to the Coffeehouse and hitch a ride!
Pikachu: KA-CHU!
Dale: Gin!
::Chip and Pikachu stare at Dale::
Dale: Uh, Rummy?
***
::Man-Child stares at the words in front of him::
Man-Child: Why am I staring?! I must act if humanity is to be saved!
::With that, the stalwart defender of all insects, spiders, lizards, bats (especially Foxglove, who has been substantiated
in clinical tests as having no magical powers except for MFP's and those are in doubt at the moment because of this
thread), and all other creatures except for--well, those that start with "A"--began to search with a renewed vigor for
the answer to the menacing date problem::
***
Gadget: ...and it's imperative to remember that even a one percent failure rate is one thousand times the number of
failures that we are currently accustomed to. Oh, and then there's the power grid--I like to call this section "Islanding: Is
It For You?"
::The crowd groans as Gadget sets up another group of slides::
***
::E-Man considers the problem, as Indy comes out::
Indy: Hello, Julie and Karl! Come on in!
::Julie and Karl enter the Sazerac and Vic shows them to a table::
Vic: Hey pallies!
Karl: Say, why aren't you in Vegas or something?
Vic: Are you kidding, and pay the rent fees there? I'm out of the nightclub and hotel racket for good.
::Vic sees how down Julie is, and takes the stage::
Vic: You'll get your MFP's back soon enough, Julie. But for now, remember--all good things come to those who wait.
::Vic starts singing Just in Time, which reminds Julie of her precious sword. Karl knows the look on her face all too
well::
Karl: Guess that's our cue. Say, why don't you and E-Man come with us, Indy?
Indy: I guess we could. What do you think, James?
E-Man: Sure. We can use the E-Portal to get there. I'll leave a few remotes at the Hotel so anyone who comes in can
join us?
::E-Man opens a belt pouch which contains about two dozen small devices::
Karl: Those the remotes?
E-Man: Yep. They act as a means to bring anyone through the E-Portal to my location. Useful in adventures.
::E-Man runs over to the Hotel and leaves a note and remotes for the other Rangerphiles. Indy and E-Man climb in
Magic Bus II::
Karl: Okay, let's go!
::Karl floors it, and E-Man opens a portal right in front of them::
***
Dale: Canasta?
::Chip bonks him::
Chip: Can you be serious for even a minute? We're trying to fix this Y2k problem!
Dale: Okak!
Indy
------
So where are we now?
Suddenly Man-Child had a moment of insight. Instead of Equidistant Letter Spaces, he decided to decrease the
distance by one letter each time. He had often thought of doing this, but it was his own personal theory. Everyone else
had said to stick solely to ELS's.
"I've found it!" The sudden exclamation startled both Dale and Annie Mae.
"Woah, hon! Please don't scare yo' ol' Annie Mae lak that no mo'! Mah ol' heart has enough weah an' teah on it
already!"
"Guys, quick!" Man-Child said, "I've got it! It was in a tiny passage where I only had to reduce the space by one each
time. Now, if I'd had to reduce the space by, say, five hundred each time, I'd have had to have a computer! And you
know what kind of luck I have with those things!"
They both nodded.
"So what do we do?" Dale asked.
"Annie Mae, I need mayonnaise. Lots of it! You should find some in the cabinet with the other munchies. Pretty
fortunate considering I've never eaten a bite of mayonnaise in my entire life."
"Got it, hon!" she exclaimed triumphantly, brandishing a jar of Blue Plate high in the air.
"Dale, you get me the neckties. They're in the clothes closet. I never wear ties, but I am such a fan of Mr. Benchley that
I can't be without a huge number."
"Right-O!" Dale said, and he soon was piling neckties into the floor.
"Now--let's rhumba!" Man-Child said in a determined voice as he removed the tomes from the desk and began
manipulating it. There were hidden hinges throughout the structure, and these he now folded, making it taller but
narrower.
"Of course. A bureau drawer!" Dale exclaimed.
Man-Child coated the neckties liberally in the mayonnaise and then stuffed every drawer full. Then he turned to his
friends.
"After you!" he said, bowing politely.
"But wheah, darlin'?" Annie Mae asked, scratching her head.
"Mayonnaise plus neckties in the bureau drawer," Man-Child explained, "constitutes the physical embodiment of
non-sequitur. This will get us to the Sazerac in Chateau Pax, where the Rangerphiles must gather. The message in the
book said that there is a second Magic Bus there."
"The Boz?" asked Dale.
"I don't know, but we'll never find out standing around here. Ladies first!" And he indicated Annie Mae.
It was a bit of a tight fit at first, but Annie Mae soon disappeared completely. Man-Child gestured next to Dale who
paused in doubt but then, at Man-Child's nod, followed Annie Mae. Man-Child was right behind him and soon . . .
* * *
"Gimme yore paw, Dale hon!" Annie Mae exclaimed garrulously as she pulled Dale from the drawer, his mouth full of
mayo-flavored neckties. It of course took both of them to get Man-Child out, but the feat was accomplished at last.
The three then looked about them.
They had emerged in the kitchen of the Sazerac, which was quiet at the moment. Evidently Shag and Scoob had not
yet arrived or, what was more likely, had finished early and left already. They walked out to the main area of the saloon
and found Vince speaking with Karl and Julie.
"Hey guys!" Man-Child said as he ran to them, followed by Dale and Annie Mae, "how long have you two been here?"
"Not long," Karl said, "I'd just picked Julie up at her dorm and was planning to make the route and collect all the
Rangerphiles just like last year, only suddenly we found ourselves here."
"Hey, Man-Child!" It was Indy and E-Man, whom he had not noticed before now. Evidently they had stepped back
onto the porch. Indy still had his guitar strapped over his shoulder.
"Wow! Everybody's here!" Man-Child exclaimed happily as Dale and Annie Mae greeted their old friends.
"Not quite everybody, I'm afraid," E-Man said.
"Well, the Magic Bus is here, isn't it?" Man-Child asked.
"Er . . . not really," Karl explained, a bit self-consciously, "that's really just my camper. I just painted "Magic Bus II" on
the side and decided to try to pick up the Rangerphiles for old times' sake. I don't think it can make it to the Dragon
Planet."
"It will warp to any place on earth so you can now pick up the Rangerphiles, and the Rangers themselves. I've made a
few 'adjustments,'" E-Man added.
"But we have to get to the Dragon Planet!" Man-Child said in frustration, "a Malignant Will is stirring throughout the
realities, and that is where they all join!"
"Easy, Man-Child," Indy said, "we know all about that. Fortunately, E-Man has some gizmos here that will transport us
to the Coffeehouse. We just need to make use of the Magic Bus II to collect all the Rangerphiles."
"And the Rangers," E-Man added.
"What's the matter with Julie?" Man-Child asked Karl in a discreet whisper.
"She's lost her Magical Female Powers(tm)," Karl said, not bothering to whisper.
"No!" Man-Child said in disbelief. He looked at Julie, who was sitting at the snack bar, eyes down as she played with
a very ugly looking knife.
"I'm afraid it's true," Karl said.
"Well hon, don' fergit thet Ah los' mah li'l ol' Magical Female Powahs(tm), which is whah we had tuh borry Mr.
Benchley's li'l ol' idea to git here!" Annie Mae reminded him.
"Could it be . . . that all the lady Rangerphiles are losing their Magical Female Powers(tm)? Or maybe even all
women???"
"That is a distinct possibility," E-Man said.
Man-Child waved his hand in front of Julies eyes. She started.
"Oh! Man-Child? Sorry. I'm just . . . depressed."
"I think you'd better go with Karl to pick up everybody," Indy said, "while the rest of us get things ready here."
"Well, that would be better I suppose than just waiting here and dwelling on everything," Julie said, taking heart.
"Hmmm," Man-Child said.
"Well, hadn't you two better get going?" Dale asked with some trepidation. "I know I'm not very opinionated usually,
but if this thing is really that serious then we had better get cracking!"
"Right!" Karl said. "Coming, Julie?"
"I'm right behind you!" And sheathing her knife followed Karl to his now souped-up camper for the great Quest to
gather all the Rangers and Rangerphiles. Just a moment and a sonic boom later the camper had disappeared.
"Man-Child," Indy motioned to him. The two of them took a seat at a table and then Indy revealed some horrifying
information.
"Did you know that there is an evil double of you?"
"What???" asked Man-Child in horror.
"I'm afraid so. Evidently in Knoxville with Rachel."
"Oh no. Oh gad. What does this mean? She thinks that's me? And it's evil?" Man-Child looked downcast and shuffled
off back to the kitchen.
"Hey! Wait!" Indy shouted.
"Let him go for now," E-Man advised, "we'd best get prepared for the arrival of the Rangerphiles. We've got to be on
the Dragon Planet, and before much time passes."
"Okay," Indy said, reluctantly.
"What do we do?" asked Annie Mae.
"Don't worry," said E-Man, "just have a snack or something while I make the final preparations. Once everybody's
here we'll have to leave for the Dragon Planet at once."
Vic or Vince or whatever his name is (since I don't watch Star Trek) decided to help the time pass and prepare
everyone psychologically by singing some upbeat lounge songs. It certainly didn't hurt.
Meanwhile, Man-Child, back in the kitchen, was gathering all the clean plates he could find. As one in a trance, he
lined them up and began writing something in each of them, in molasses. And sitting handily nearby were several cans
of laminating shellac!
* * *
"Roy Neal? Roy Neal? Are you still in there?" Rachel was becoming alarmed. She had thought it a great stroke of luck
to meet her fellow Rangerphile upon arriving back in Knoxville with Jeremy completely under her control. In fact, she
had commanded him to dove into the Tennessee River and hold his breath till he heard from her further, merely in order
to avoid intimidating her shy net friend. Now she was wondering if that weren't a mistake.
"Roy Neal, I said are you still in there???" She had thought it unusual when he brought her to this dark room and
locked the front door. Now she was wondering if he hadn't slipped out the back door, inaccessable to her in the
computer room.
She turned the computer off. No way could she read fan fiction in this situation. She tried to open the door to other
room but found it, like the front door, locked. Then she began pounding on the door.
Suddenly the door opened and she found Man-Child staring at her with a most stony and unemotional look on his face.
"There was no need to make all that noise, Rachel," he said calmly and mechanically, "I am only too happy to welcome
you to the kitchen." Rachel was about to say something when a familiar face appeared behind Man-Child, just over his
shoulder.
"Jeremy!"
"Hello Rachel." His voice was as flat and cold as Man-Child's. "I have something I would like to show you."
"What's wrong with you two?" Rachel asked in alarm as she opened wide her feminine eyes to GAZE upon them. She
didn't want to do this, especially to someone with as such feelings of inadequacy as Man-Child, but she had to defend
herself.
"Okay. Now cut out whatever game you two or playing and let me out of here," she warned, "or else." No reaction.
"All right then, you asked for it! GACEINTOMEEYES!!!!!" And she let loose with a zap that would have paralyzed
downtown Hong Kong on a busy day at the stock market.
Nothing.
"Jeremy has something he would like you to see," Man-Child said in that mechanical voice. "Show her, Jeremy."
Slowly Jeremy raised his hands to reveal a plate. A plate with something written on it in molasses. Yet the writing did
not run.
It had been laminated!!!
"Nooooooo!!!!!!!" Rachel screamed.
* * *
"So you see," Gadget said to the assembled scientists from all over the world, "it's very simple. Once you tilt the
frammis and calculate the klickenhagen, then the mertz of the system is liable to clydze."
"Oooooh!" said the assembled dignitaries.
Suddenly Gadget began to flicker like a bad image on an old TV set. Then she was gone!
"Oooooh!" said the assembled dignitaries, and they gave her a warm round of applause.
* * *
Q wasn't expecting to be murdered like this--cut down in cold blood by villains who were supposed to be lovable
failures who were safe for the kiddies. Even more shocking was that he was among a biker gang and that Jessie and
James were using horrible language. At least James isn't cross-dressing he thought. He closed his eyes and prepared
for his last moment. He wondered if the pain would last long. It never came.
He opened his eyes to see Jessie and James, Green, and the bikers flicker like an old silent film, and finally fade away.
He was alone.
"Interesting," he mused.
* * *
"Oh, you're so cute!" Misty exclaimed as she reached down to pet Chip and Dale on their adorable little noggins.
"@%$#*!!!" they exclaimed as they somehow pulled a pair of rocket launchers from behind their backs and aimed
them at the friends.
However much they pretended to dislike each other, Ash and Misty grabbed on to each other as Misty clutched
Togepi and Pikachu hopped on top of Ash's head one last time. Brock stepped before them in a final act of
big-brotherly care, much as he had shown is younger brothers and sisters back home. They all waited for the moment.
It never came.
Opening their eyes, they saw the bloodthirsty, hateful chipmunks, still cursing horribly, begin to flicker like bad
Japanese anime. Then they were gone.
"What was that? Brock asked justifiably.
"I don't know, but I'm afraid I've been warped for life by their horrible language," Misty said, "they are characters from
a kiddie cartoon, aren't they?"
"Wh--what saved us?" Ash asked. As if in answer he felt something coming over him. He thought he could hear in his
head the most lovely and inexplicable music, and he saw that the air about them sparkled with color as a sort of
glowing powder fell down upon them.
They looked up.
The Golden Bird!!!
* * *
Dale could just remain there forever as Foxglove GAZED upon him lovingly, yet without the slightest hint of
condescension.
I gotta get me a woman like that!!!!!!
Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
"Um, come in!" Dale called as he and his wife came out of their reverie. The door opened slowly and a very depressed
looking Gadget came in.
"Hi Gadget! Anything we can do for you?" Foxglove asked her first true female friend.
"Guys, I think I got a problem."
Dale and Foxy looked at each other. "We're not very good with machinery," they both said simultaneously.
"It's not that. It's . . . "
Foxglove went up to her friend and took her hand in her wings. "What is it, Gadget? Whatever it is, you can tell us!"
"Foxy, have you noticed something about your Magical Female Powers(tm) lately?"
Dale and Foxglove looked at each other.
"But I don't have Magical Female Powers(tm), Gadget," she said, "bats aren't magical at all. Remember?"
"Oh! I forgot. That means you wouldn't notice, right?"
"You can't notice losing something you never had," Foxy said.
"Yeah," Dale added, "the only thing Foxy has ever zapped me with are her adorable beauty, her kindness, her
sweetness, her modesty, her true and enduring love, . . . "
"Dale, please!" Gadget snapped. That surprised all three of them.
"Sorry, but I think I've lost my Magical Female Powers(tm)," she said.
The bat and the chipmunk stared at her openmouthed.
"YOU???" they asked.
Gadget sighed and opened the door. "Chip, would you meet me privately in my workshop so that I may bestow my
kisses upon you with no letup?" she asked nonchalantly.
"Sorry Gadget," his voice answered, "Say, did you know these rubber bands actually stretch? I'll bet we could find
some practical use for them if we thought about it long enough."
Gadget sighed and closed the door.
There was silence for a while. Then Dale said, "Gadget, that can't happen with you!"
"I know," she said softly, "what am I gonna do???"
* * *
"Now remember," Donatello coached her, "when the studio audience grows quiet, how do you stir them back up?"
Fidessa sighed. "Tell them to shut up," she said unenthusiastically.
"And every time you punch your opponent?"
"Stomp my foot," she said, rolling her eyes.
* * *
"You've lost your what?" Rotor asked uncomprehendingly.
"Um . . . my powers," she said quietly.
You're what?"
"Ahem. My powers," Sally said again.
"I'm afraid I'm having difficulty understanding you," Rotor said again, as thick as ever, "you say you think you've lost
your what?"
"My powers!" she shouted. Rotor just stared at her.
"Oops," said Sally.
* * *
"H*ck!" said Rudolph.
TO BE CONTINUED . . .
"The Enduring Man-Child"
------
On the road to everywhere, looks like....
:Indy looks at E-Man in confusion::
Indy: I thought we were on the RV...
E-Man: We were.
Indy: But what happened?
E-Man: The Law of Ironic Convenience. Man-Child wrote us as being here,
so we were pulled off the Magic School Bus II at the last nanosecond.
Indy: Oh, I see...
Annie Mae: Don't y'all jes looooove that thar ironic conveeeenyeeence?
***
::An audience member's hand goes up::
Gadget: Yes?
A.M.: Uh, so what can we do to stop all these problems?
Gadget: Stop them? We'll be lucky if we can slow them down enough to
recognize them for the police lineup!
::The audience gasps::
Gadget: Good, you're still paying attention. Well, I think there'll
be problems especially at the local and regional levels in the States with
bigger problems abroad.
A.M.: Such as?
Gadget: Well, there's the fact that China pirated most of it's software.
And don't even get me started on Russia's nuclear reactors, not to mention
that the entire countries of Italy, Pakistan, Australia, Indonesia and a bunch in Latin
America aren't expected to be ready. And that leads us back to interdepencies among nations...
::collective groan::
Indy
------
Re: So where are we now?
Aivars awakened slowly.
Head hurt, the more because his last period of depression had happened more that year ago, and he didnt remember
any party, he could have attended to acquire such headaches...
"By holy cows," he gasped, as he opened eyes and saw nothing but darkness.
"Well, well, well," someone answered him from the darkness. "He wakes up at last."
"What the h..." he started, only to be interrupted rudely.
BONK! With clanking sound something bounced off his head.
"Be ashamed in front of ladies!" voice ordered angry.
Aivars turned in the direction the hit had come off, ready to stare upside down anyone threatening his 1.90m state.
Well, actuall y it was 1.87, but with the boots on, it sure was to be bigger. He found both good and bad news here.
Good news were, that there was light, and some others there with him.
Bad thing was, he has to look up to see into the face of cartoon mice, he so well knew. Lawainee Lait.
Completed shock of the hit, the stress, and the unbelievability of the situation joined the forces, and his eyes rolling,
Aivars fell backward.
"Told you not to hit him so bad." Alex sighted.
"Who knew, he is so weak on head," Lawaineee lovered frying pan, that she had pulled out from the surrounding
darkness.
"Better be careful. Since your plan B didn't work, he may be one that would get all of us out of there. Whenever it may
be..."
"Well, i already have a plan C in the reserve," Lawainee declared into annoyed voice. "As soon as he wakes up, we
will set that in motion. We will be outta here in a jiffy."
-----
Somewhere far away, the Ultimate Evil Force grinned most devilish grin it was capable of.
"Before they will get out from my trap, it will be too late to join the others trying to stand agaist me and my plan," it
said. "And just so simple, just to toss an idea to a greedy mouse, and the work is done for you."
Aivars
------
You don't check the board for a day....
And you completely lose it. Also with apologies, as I can't do Annie Mae's speech pattern as well as Roy-Neal. I also
can't spell
* * *
Chris was stunned at what had happened to Julie and to Annie-Mae. He gave his condolances to both, and shared a
unhappy glance with Indy and Karl
"Is this possible? Is every women losing her Magical Female Powers (tm)? I wonder..... Hey Karl, is there a phone in
here?"
"Yep, just over there"
"Cheers, be back in a mo. Annie Mae, could you come to the phone a sec? I wanna try something"
"Sure Hon, anythin' ta help!"
"What's he up to?" Wondered Roy-Neal, but before he had time to find out, Indy and Karl had started discussing the
magic-schoolbus.
Chris raced over to the phone, followed quickly by a rather confused Annie-Mae.
"What's tha problem, darlin'"
"Well, I need to check this out. All women in America seem to belosing their Magical Female Powers (TM)"
"uh-huh"
"So, I'm gonna have to check if it's international"
"How d'ya mean?"
"I'll phone my flatmates girlfriend, Rhona. If she has lost her Magical Female Powers, I'm afraid every woman on the
planet has!"
"Oh, I see the point" said Annie Mae, not really seeing the point. "Can she hang on ta them quite well then, Hon?"
"Oh yes, she's fairly well endowed. So, If she still has them, maybe she could get over here and use them in our quest!
We'd be undefeatable! Well, as long as Keith doesn't come too...Anyway, I need to phone.
Annie-Mae now saw the huge significance and waited nervously as Chris dialled Rhona's phone number....
"Hello?" Came a pleasant Shetlandic accent on the phone.
"Hi Rhona, it's Chris. Look we've got a big emergency here, and we need your help"
"We? Well I'll certainly try, you're not on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" or something are you?"
"No, a bit more serious than that. Is Keith there with you?"
"Yeah, he's maulin' with his mobile phone, do you want me to get him?"
"No, just ask him to I don't know, get your slippers or something".
"Oh, have you taken your supplements today Chris?"
"Please just humour me, it's important"
"Chris, darling', is this really necessary?" Annie Mae was getting impatient.
"Yeah, If Keith gets her slippers without any arguement, she's definately got her Magical Female Powers (tm) You
couldn't get Keith to get slippers even if they were his, I need to check"
-----
"Oh, Keith?"
"What is it, Rhona? Cannae you see I'm strugglin' with tha phone"
"Aye, I'm sorry, I could just really do with my slippers, could you pleeeassseee get them?"
and then, without warning she Gazed into his eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chris could hear a short silence over the phone, follwed by a surprisingly mellow Keith saying "of course dear, I'll get
them"
Chris shouted with triumph, Rhona still had them, they were saved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Yep, Keith is just getting them. Was that it, Chris? Or do you want me to phone the ambulance?"
At this point Annie-Mae, equally as ecstatic as Chris, jumped on the phone to speak to Rhona
"Rhona darlin', thank the Lord you still have them!!!"
"Er, hello, who's that.Now I know it's not Chris this time"
In Rhona's room, Keith stood motionless staring at Rhona with a pair of slippers in his left hand.
"No, It's Annie-Mae! Look, the world depends on you, we need you to get over here and help us as soon as
possible!It's your destiny, hon!!! Please come and help us!"
"Wow, you know what, for some reason I even know where you all are"
"Really, Where?" Chris added
"Annie-mae, I'll be glad to help, this Biology essay is killing me anyway. I'll have to bring Keith with me though,
someone might mistake him for a tree or something"
"Bring Keith as well, we need all the help we can get! I hope he'll be concious by then, though. Put blinkers on him or
something" Chris said taking back the phone, we'll see you in a while!"
Putting the phone down, Indy came in just in time to see Chris and Annie-Mae giving each other a very, very high five
"What's going on here then, you look like you've just saved the world!"
"Well, Indy hon, we may have just sone that!" Chris has found a woman who hasn't lost her Magical Female Powers"
she told him as they walked back to join the others.
Indy gasped, Julie looked intensely jealous, and Karl stopped trying on Mayonnaise covered neckties, the smell was
getting abit to much now.
"You...you...you.did?" stuttered Roy-Neal "Where?"
Chris hoped he didn't look at pleased as he felt
"It's Rhona, my flatmates girlfriend, and they should be coming anytime...."
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"....Now"
"You have to knock to get in here?" Julie mused.
"Is this Rhona and Keith from Shetland then?" Roy-Neal asked, as If looking forward to meeting them
"Yep, I'll let them in. Where is the entrance anyway?
He walked over to the big dorr right in front of him, as directed. As he opened it, he saw Rhona looking happy, and
Keith looking very stiff and wide eyed, he gave Rhona a warm hug, attempted to shake hands with Keith and invited
them in. Once inside, Rhona and Keith were introduced to everyone, Rhona being regarded rather in awe, though she
did try really hard not to gaze directly at any of them.
"That was really sensible hon, Annie Mae said as she greeted Rhona, you've got a very important asset there, and you
need ta control it"
"Keith, are you alright?" Chris asked his friend with concern, waving his hand in front of Keiths somewhat pale face.
He strated to come to
"We...we....flying...in sky...flying..." he said slowly.
"Yeah, I know Keith, It happened to me too, yopu'd better get used to it over the next few weeks."
"OH...Hi Chris" Keith eventually said to him.
"C'mon and meet everyone Keith, just don't stare at Rhona"
Agreeing aggressively, Chris introduced his zany flat-mate Keith to all assembled, as Keith slowly gained composure,
he made aquaintance with everyone, and even had done a suitable Bill Clinton impression within a few minutes (a feat
he was known well for among his University friends)
Chris got him a hot-chocolate, ordering at the same time as Indy, and suddenyly realized the whole situation.
"Indy, we've got to meet again" he turned to his friend, getting ever so slightly overcome.
"I know, I thought last year was more than I could ever dream of, but to be able to do it again...wow"
They just had to hug each other with joy, and afterwards returned to the main party so that business could begin.
Meanwhile in Rescue Ranger Headquarters
Chip was busily playing about with elastic bands, in the Kitchen, Dale and Foxglove were trying to comfort Gadget on
her loss.
"Gadget, give it one more try, please!!""" Foxy pleaded
"Okay" Gadget replied and walked out to the living room
"Chip, could you please get me my Wrench, I could really use it in the kitchen"
Chip didn't even look at her
"Dale, could you get Gadget's wrench? I'm kinda busy!" he shouted towards the kitchen
. Gadget couldn't cope, she ran towards him, grabbed his head, and gazed into his shocked face. Chip stared for a few
moments. Was anything happening, yes, maybe he was..he was..he was..
"Gadget I think you have something in your eye" he said helpfully
"Arrrrggggggggghhhhhhh Nooooooooooooo. This can't be happening!!!!!!" Gadget screamed, and ran
towards her room. In the kitchen, Dale and Foxy looked miserably, as a loud bang of a door caused serveral
jars to fall off a shelf and smash on the floor.
"I'll get the brush" they both said
"What's up with me little Gadget?" Monterey asked Chip, full of concern.
"I don't know, I jsut said she had saomething in her eye, and she did that" he replied in shock *My neck is
hurting so much, why did Gadget have to try to wrench my head off*
"Maybe she's real sensitve about her eyes" Zipper suggested, for a better answer, Montery and Zipper
tried the Kitchen.
"Hey, pallies, what's up with my Gadget" he asked them both.
Dale and Foxglove looked nervously at each other
"She....she's...she's" Dale started
"She's what" Zipper didn't like stuck records
"Gadget has lost her Magical Femal Powers (tm)" Foxglove had to break the news.
Monterey was shocked, very shocked.
"No, not Gadget" he murmoured
"How could it happen" Zipper asked Dale
"No idea, but she definately has, Chip ignored her"
Monterey broke down on the table, whilst Zipper tried to comfort him.
Dale and Foxglove looked nervously at each other
"I'll get the tissues" they both said
"Guys, come into the lounge!!!!" Chip's panicked voice even stopped Monterey's cries
"What is it Chip?" Dale asked as they rushed into the main room, as they looked at the television, they
could see a girl and boy. They recognized the boy
"That's Chris!" Foxglove cried as she saw him. "What on earth is he doing?"
"And who's that with him?" Monterey wondered aloud
"Gadget, come quick, please!" Chip shouted, and Gadget did, hoping that she had had some sort of delayed
reaction. Before she could wallow in dissappointment that she hadn't, as everyone was staring at the TV,
she saw what they were staring at, and soon joined in.
Then Chris spoke
"Er, hello guys, can you hear us?"
"Yeah, what on earth is going on?" Chip asked, and who's that wi.." Chips voice faded away, as his face
settled on Rhona's, and her Magical Female Powers started unknowingly take effect
Gadget stood in front of him, on his toe at first.
"Well, actually, we're gonna need your help Chris carried on.
"Why, what's going on?" Dale asked
"Oh, got me there, Roy-Neal your go!" Chris shouted, and after a minute, Chris moved out of vision, and
Roy-Neal took his place.
He exchanged greeting with them all, and told them the entire situation, about how between ema, Karl, and
now Rhona, they thought they would have a method of meeting the Rangers and going to the dragon planet,
and how, females were mysteriously losing their Magical Female Powers (tm) , and how they feared Rhona
was the only one left, due to her Norweigan/Shetlandic origins.
The Rangers were impressed, sorrowful and shocked all at the same time. But they knew what they had to
do, they had to be ready tro board the Magic Schoolbus mark II when it arrived,a nd travel to the Dragon
Planet to save thew world, and all by the first night of Y2K!!!!!!!!
The plans were made, and arrangements set, it was time for action, and time for someone who could write....
TO BE CONTINUED
* * *
Dale
------
A meeting of the minds, such as it were...
Joseph greeted the ragged foursome at the door, on the brink of rage. "Green! Jessie! James! Meowth! What took you
so dang long"
"It was the Trekker. He used some teleportation trick to go somewhere and disappeared. Does he have the force or
something?" SMACK! "AAAHH!!"
"That's a different movie, you dunce! Q hates that."
"So Glen, did you freak out along the way and kill anyone?"
Q responded from across the room, in a bizarre accent, "Yeah, but dey wuh all bad!"
"Yeah, biker gang. Real scum-of-the-earth. They weren't really a threat, though. They're only dangerous on Sunday,
you know, when "The Simpsons" are on [this really helps explain "From Here to Insanity, folks. ^^;;--Ed.].
"How about James? Did you two get into a fight?"
"Nah, man, he's for real."
"And Jessie. Did you two give each other a hard time?"
Glen chuckled. "Heh heh heh. That's one way of putting it."
"Oh, man, Green, you would pull a stunt like that. She's an innocent young woman!"
"Joe, just how little do you know about this broad?"
"But James will freak if he ever finds out! We can't have that! Not now!"
"Nah, he respects me too much--no, he fears me too much to ever try anything stupid."
********************
Smoov, no detective he, was trying to get a handle on the situation.
"Sugah, you've got to wear better clothes. Won't nobody give you a second look in that baggy lavender crap. Why just
look at those two chipmunks. They haven't noticed you all evening!"
"Golly, Smoov, that's just because of the case. They've known about me for years. They're just so cute when they're
smitten, but now I don't even have the satisfaction of watching their agony."
"So where do we lay the smackdown, honey? Fat Cat? The Federal government? K.C. Metro Vice Squad? They've
been trying to nail me for years."
"Wlachally, we think it's Lahwhinie."
"La Who?"
"She's an evil double of mine from an alternate universe. She already doubled Roy Neal. We don't know who she'll
copy next."
"Well, they ain't takin' me, little mouse. My back is watched 24/7."
**********************
A bummed-out Julie sat alone in a corner, burning for the blue-haired bishonen across the room. "Why did that jerk
have to turn my man violent?," she thought. "And look at that slut Jessie, flirting with him shamelessly. What a man
won't do in the presence of a few MFP's, I'll never. . .Wait a minute. How come she has MFP's?
[Light bulb.]
Julie crossed to the corner where the making out was intensifying. "Hey, you two. I wouldn't know anything about this
personally, but...I've always heard it's better in a cabin."
Green's eyes met Jessie's and they shared a wicked smirk. "Thanks twerp. I'll be sure to thank you someday." And
with that they headed off to finish the job.
"Hey James, I've been talking with Jessie."
"Really?"
"Mm-hmm. She wants to make out in the cabin. In fact, she's waiting on you there right now."
"Ooooohhh! Look out baby Jess, Daddy's on his way!"
"Have a good time, kids! (sotto voce) Choke on it, you redheaded whore."
The door swung open.
"Jmmmz!"
"What are you looking at?"
"How did you get MFP?
"Why, I come by it naturally, of course."
"No, you must have swiped it. Who is in with you? And why didn't I know about it?"
"Hey, don't talk so much. Your woman here's taking me downtown."
"Goodbye, both of you."
POP! POP!
************************
Simultaneous with the gunshots, another portal opened. Out walked a menacing Mewtwo, which immediately headed
towards the Coffeehouse. "I have come for Gadget and Foxglove. I will not be denied."
"Pikachu! Thundershock!!!!"
"Pika....CHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The attack was useless. Mewtwo escaped, and worse still, a state trooper appeared for James.
"Oh, ja, yah can't be blowin' peoples' heads off like that. Gotta maintain law and order."
"You're not a cop. Where's your blue outfit?"
"This ain't Japan, young man. You're going away for a while, ja."
"No," Julie gasped from a window. "Not both of them." Her resolve toughened up. "Someone's gonna pay."
********************
Through the looking glass, Gadget, Foxy and Rachel gazed up at the ceiling, bound to a gurney. Lawhinie bellowed
maniacally from above, "So we meet again, ladies. Let me introduce ourselves. You know me, and Rachel has already
met NegaManChild. And this...is ADIRONDACK!
[THUNDER and LIGHTNING]
As Gadget looked on in stunned amazement, Foxy could only summon two words: "It's me!"
***********************
"The way I see it, Julie, is that Chip's out like a light over Gadget. Roy Neal's the same way about Foxglove. Everyone
else has their panties in a bunch over the technical aspects. That leaves just you and me to get everyone back in one
piece."
"Idunno, Dale. I've never actually worked a case like this before." Especially with a red-nosed chipmunk, she said to
herself.
"Ah, but you're not dealing with just any red-nosed chipmunk. For I am...DOUBLE-O SUPER SPY!"
ZAP!
The reverse-gigantico effect Gadget had modified to the Rangerwing shrunk Julie to rodent size. Dale popped in the
MiniDisc of "Secret Agent Man" and screamed, "Rescue Rangers Away!"
"What have I gotten myself into???"
Donny
------
If it weren't for bad luck...
El. J.A.M. was drinking a cappucino in the Ranger Coffeehouse. Kat appeared in the seat across from him.
"Fraid the Magic School Bus is a no-go, amigo."
"No va?" the jaguar asked.
(Er, does anybody have an upside-down "?" I could borrow? ;D)
"Er, you -don't- want the full explanation--turst me." Kat said, her eyes still rolling from the technical details TPL had
tossed at her a few minutes ago. She gave herself a light smack on the head and her eyes went back to normal.
"So, what now?" he asked after emptying his cup.
"Plan B." replied Kat. "We'll need to go to my Lair first. Oh, have you seen Gadget around?"
she asked as her train of thought jumped to a different track.
The jaguar laughed. "Which one?"
"Any of them. The one who appears in Boz's stories in particular." answered the cat-earred human.
"Come to think of it, I do not recall seeing -any- Gadgets around." declared El J.A.M.
"Hmm. That's odd. There's usually at least one or 2 around here. I know one Gadget is giving some sort of symposium
on Y2K so,ewhere. Oh, well; let's go."
***
In Kat's Lair...
Kat & J.A.M. walk through the silver arch in Kat's Workshop.
"Oh, I guess I should check my messages...maybe Dyglo & Chris e-mailed an explanation before they left." Kat
explained.
J.A.M. paced impatiently while Kat sat down in front of her computer monitor and checked her InBox.
"Hey! Rotor left a message!" noted Kat as she brought it up.
The Jaguar looked over her shoulder. "What did he say?"
Kat's expression became a worried one as she read the message. "This is -not- good. Take a look at this."
He did and saw...
...SALLY SAID "I LOST MY -POWERS-". I WAS CONFUSED, SO SHE CLARIFIED THAT THE POWERS
IN QUESTION WERE HER 'MAGICAL FEMALE' ONES. DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE TO YOU?
Kat
------
¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ (that enough for you? ^_-) (n/t) (Julie)
------
::copy:: Thanx! ;D (n/t) (Kat)
------
Oh, dear
[...unWARP!!!]
Good evening.
*************
"She lost her Magical Female Powers™?" asked The J.A.M.
"It looks like it." The Jaguar began feeling rather anxious.
"Ask Rotor if Sally is the only one with this condition." Kat obliged him, but before she turned to write the message,
she could see the Feline's face turn to a worried state, as he thought of a certain Lagomorph. . .
*************
The J.A.M.
------
(
geocities.com/televisioncity/set) (
geocities.com/televisioncity)