THE BIG DATE - Alternate Ending
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Five months after the "Resurrection" saga, Leviathan Walker and Widget
Bernouli decide it's finally time to have their date. But as seeing it must
take place in the Coffeehouse, all the regulars could show up--and probably
will, in the thread called..."The Big Date"!
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[Editor's Note: Just before I posted the beginning of the eighth part of
"The Big Date", I noticed that Roy Neal had posted an ending, with a couple
of replies added as well. Not wishing to put his effort to waste, I
proposed making his ending an "alternate ending" to the thread. And that,
dear reader (with a little change in post order), is this text file.]
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Inserting before Man-child's epilogue
Tuesday, 12-Dec-00 02:48:25
Aivars was struggling to keep TEP from getting away, when some paw
unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your point of view) smashed a
cooking pan on his head.
"Ups, sorry" Lavainie Lait grinned.
TEP was free... and MAD...
Aivars
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The Big Date--Possible Conclusion
Monday, 11-Dec-00 16:41:09
*With apologies to "Strider" Stephen T. Stone. If you don't like this post,
just ignore it!*
Leviathan's and Widget's date had not turned out quite as its participants
had anticipated. Instead the love present had acted as a magnet for a
Totally Evil Presence who desired the destruction of all love. He had
attempted to destroy various Rangerphiles and characters and had even
possessed a couple. Now his patience had worn out. He would destroy them
all!!!
"Puny ones!" the Being cried out in a rage as it became visible and showed
itself for the first time. It wore a flowing black cape and was hidden
behind a dark mask. The attention of everyone in the Coffeehouse was
removed from wherever it had been before and was now riveted on the evil
presence.
"I am through playing games with you! I have attempted to destroy love
through others but now I will destroy you all myself!" And the Being began
to charge up in a blaze of unearthly energy.
Everyone in the Coffeehouse began to prepare for the fight of their lives.
Pikachu, Ryoko, and Princess Ayeka powered up. Serena slipped discreetly
into a broom closet in order to transform into Sailor Moon. The J.A.M.
prepared to warp the warp of his life. Biyomon and Palmon prepared to
digivolve. No one was looking forward to this. They all wanted to avoid
such a battle but knew that this insane power was determined to destroy all
love even at the cost of its own existence. It was truly mad.
But just at that moment, just as all seemed lost, suddenly Mrs. Brisby came
and stood in their midst, the doors being shut, and spoke to them.
"Nay. There shall be no destructive battle here today, nor loss of life or
limb. For I have summoned help from a someone who will teach you, Mr.
Totally Evil Presence, about the wonders of love."
"Bah!" the Presence sneered in fury, "I have never been loved and never
shall be. Who are you, Mouse, to interfere???"
Instead of answering Mrs. Brisby beckoned to the ceiling with a forepaw and
thereupon there descended, as it were an angel, a most lovely Creature. She
was a young girl with what appeared to be a skateboarding helmet upon her
lovely head, and most important of all, she was wearing *GLASSES*, the very
symbol of faux approachability. It was none other than Yolei from
"Digimon," and when she had descended to just above the Totally Evil
Presence she opened wide her bespectacled eyes and *GAZED* upon him.
Immedieately all rage, all anger, all resentment left the heretofore Totally
Evil Presence, as he observed her beauty, her shyness, bookishness,
intellecutality, and apparent (even if deceptive) vulnerability. Then in
the voice of an angel she commanded "*GAZEINTOMESPECS!!!!!* The TEP *had*
to obey! Don't you understand??? It *could not* resist!!!!!! [Hey, *you*
try it some time!]
The Formerly Totally Evil Presence was reduced to pure unadulterated mush.
"I understand now!" it said in a calm, quiet, happy voice. "Now I know what
it feels like to be loved (even if it is merely an illusion). Never again
shall I attempt to destroy love, disrupt a relationship, or possess another
character. Not now, after I have beheld this *vision*, which is worth the
viewing even though one should be stricken blind at daring to behold such
perfection! *AND SHE'S WEARIN' GLASSES!!! TEE-HEE!!!!!*"
"*SILENCE!*" commanded the siren. "You cannot speak! You cannot utter a
sound!" And sure enough, the TEP could not! (Scary, isn't it???) "Ven you
a-*VA*-ken, you vill remember . . . *NO*-t'ing!" she commanded. "Now
go . . . go and do not trouble lovers ever again! GO!!!" And the
blissfully happy former TEP, with a silly smitten look upon its face,
floated off to the ceiling where it faded out.
"Well done, my daughter," Mrs. Brisby said to Yolei when the enemy had been
disposed of, "but I have one more task for you. The entry of the Totally
Evil Presence into our world was made possible by feelings of jealousy and
resentment. Those feelings must now be healed." Then, pointing to The
Enduring Man-Child (who had been entranced by this vision of loveliness from
the moment she had appeared), "Go, my daughter," she said.
The bespectacled "g*dess" nodded knowingly and floated over to just above
Man-Child, who was already making funny noises. Then she opened her mouth
and spake unto him, saying "Come thou unto mine bower, where the spirit of
Lisa Loeb ruleth, that I and others of my kind may shower our affections
upon thee, as rain is showered upon a dry and thirsty land thereanent. Do
not dare not to dare! *COME!!!*" Thereupon the Bespectacled Beauty ascended
towards the ceiling, followed by the now unconscious Man-Child (for he had
fainted in ecstasy), his tongue lolling out further than a Likitung's and
leaving behind a goodly amount of drool. Then they were gone!
Mrs. Brisby looked about her in satisfaction at the now peaceful Coffeehouse
and its patrons. "My job here is done," she said. "Never forget what has
transpired here today! Remember! *Remember!! REMEMBER!!!*" And she was
gone.
Ryoko and Princess Ayeka both looked at Tenchi. Then they each took out
there daybooks and wrote down "get eye appointment first thing monday
morning!"
And there was much rejoicing!
The End!
Well, maybe!
"The Enduring Man-Child"
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Epilogos
Monday, 11-Dec-00 23:15:23
[...unWARP!!!]
Good evening.
*************
At sickbay, The J.A.M. was being treated for his blaster wound. Bunnie
didn't mind looking as the doctors worked, partly because she was looking
once again at his bare back.
"J.A.M., Sugah, that was mighty silly of ya to try to warp in yer
condition!"
"I know, I know," he replied, without looking up. "It's just that, for some
reason, every time I visit this planet I lose a shirt. I had hoped that this
time I would keep it since when I first encountered the TEP I was able to
deflect its blast. Still, he got me, and he got my shirt, which REALLY got
me ticked off. Perhaps you would feel the same if the same thing happened
over and over to one of your bionic limbs, maybe. . ."
The Lagomorph thought for a moment.
"Well, I suppose you're right, Sugah. But the important thing is that yew
were willin' to give it yer all to defeat the TEP, even in yer condition."
"Hey, all the love in the universe was at stake. And you seemed pretty
steamed up at that thing as well." Bunnie walked around and knelt so she was
looking at his face.
"We all wanted to save each other's love. And now the TEP is gone, and all
love is safe. And now, J.A.M., Sugah, Ah hear that yew somehow survived an
out-of-control warp, multiple electric shocks, and a collision with a lake?
What was that all about?"
"Well, that happened on my previous adventure here, to try to bring
Leviathan back to life."
"And why didn't yew tell me about all that?" she asked, a bit annoyed.
"Um, I didn't want to worry you?"
"J.A.M., Sugah, I know I hadn't been in contact 24/7, but I would like for
yew to tell me these things. Ah care about yew, and even though everythin's
already done, I would like to know what happened."
"[sigh] Very well. It happens that I decided to volunteer to get the Ball of
Wind. . . ."
With that, the Panther and the Lagomorph began their own date, sort of,
leaving Leviathan and Widget on their own, as they were safe now. There
would be laughter, tears, and shock, as the Jaguar told the tale, but all of
that was part of a lasting relationship. . .
FIN
***************
Until next time, remember:
I AM THE J.A.M.
Good evening.
[WARP!!!]
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- THE END - (
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