Chip Chap (Registered User)
Coffeehouse thread: Attack of the Dark Shadow Enigma- part 3
As the big black panther started began attacking the giant robotic elephant,
Clawdia pulled herself back up into a sitting position.
Clawdia: (holding her head) Ohh... did anyone get the license plate of
that truck... huh?
She turns and notices the Panther slashing away at Zora, but apparently
doing nothing more than messing up the rubber skin.
Clawdia: So! You wanna play rough, eh? Well then... Zora! Pulverize that
panther!
Hearing the command, Zora lets out an ear-shattering trumpet blast and
grabs the Panther with his hydraulic-powered trunk and smashes him against
a nearby boulder. Of course, this only results in a now slightly angrier
panther and a pile of gravel... but the mechanical mammoth doesn't seem
to care.
Clawdia: Ummm... you know, this looks like that Panther isn't going to be
a pushover... Lupe, help Zora out while I cook up some reinforcements!
At that, Lupe gets back onto all six-feet, bares four sets of razor-sharp
claws and lunges at the Panther.
Clawdia: All right, now to make things interesting. (Clawdia runs off-screen
and reappears with several pots and pans and a portable oven)
Meanwhile, Zora and Lupe are ganging up on the almost-invincible black Panther.
Zora rears up and stomps on the Jaguar... only to have him hold up the
robot's weight with one paw. However, Lupe takes the opening by slashing
the occupied Jaguar with four sets of claws.
Clawdia: (while stirring a rather nasty-looking concoction in a huge
cauldron-like pot. After a while she takes a taste) Hmmm... needs more
pepper (dumps a pound of pepper into the mixture)
Zora tries grabbing the Jaguar with his vacuum-trunk but only manages to
yank a boulder the size of a Buick out of the ground... unpeeved, he settles
on smashing it over the Jaguars head.
At this point, Clawdia finished her cooking
Clawdia: All right then, Ninjutstew arise!
The cauldron starts boiling over and about a hundred vicious looking
ninja-creatures leap out carrying knives, swords, poison darts, small bombs,
ninja stars, claws, and numerous other nasty weaponry under their cloaks.
Clawdia: All right, I want half of you to help take out that Jaguar and
the other half to mess up the Cafe!
I don't care how you do it... set it on fire, let in poison gas, blow it
up or just run in slashing at everyone...
I want that place obliterated!
At that, the ninjas all set out to do their terrible tasks.
Clawdia: Well... I suppose I should start preparing my next batch of monsters...
Hmmm... maybe some Samurai or something...
----------------------------
SomeGhol (Registered User)
Stumbling through the doors, SomeGhol looked at Hawnurra questioningly
"Uhm... Ok, what exactly did I miss? There's a bunch of your cousins out there
fighting, and one of them looks kind of familiar."
The Big Cat shrugged as best he could and indicated for SomeGhol to have a seat,
which he did, asking. "Think I could get some lunch?"
"What can I get ya?" asked the imposing waiter, appearing as if by magic.
"Waiterbot busted?"
"Yep."
SomeGhol nodded, taking the change in stride. After all, he did work in the
food service industry, and was used to sudden schedule shifts.
"I'll have me a cod sandwich, with extra tarter sauce." he ordered, not
noticing Hawnurra's alarmed countenance. The cat attempted to say something,
but the words were lost due to his mouth being full of Ruben sandwich.
"Are you nuts?!?" he asked after the waiter had gone.
SomeGhol frowned. "Huh?"
"Don't you know that..."
"Hold on a sec, my sandwich is here." the student interrupted as his tasty,
piping hot fish sandwich arrived in front of him, the aroma filling the
Coffee House, and beond.
A dull rumbling from outside shook the floor.
"What...?" SomeGhol looked around, alarmed. Hawnurra simply covered his eyes
with his paws, groaning.
Suddenly, the doors SLAMMED open, and a horde of hungry, battle scared cats
thundered towards SomeGhol, each drooling, and shouting the same word. "FISH!"
"EEP!" was all SomeGhol could say as the huge, Black Panther who was the
lead towered over him.
(What happens next? PLEASE don't eat me J.A.M!)
-----------------------------------------
Greyhound Bus (Registered User)
and it begins again!
Seeing trouble brewing in the distance,Da Bus,still in his AH-64 Apache
morph in Greyhound colors,sittin a few blocks off from the cafe in protect
mode starts up his powerful 5,000 sHP turboshaft engines.Rotors begin to
slowly build up speed until they are at full liftin power. kickin up dust
and other light objects,he lifts off,arming his weapons to help defend
the cafe or whats left of it.He scans the cafe area,spotting a strange
female figure(?),some ninjas,a huge robotic elephant and a massive
black panther.With weapons systems locked on the Robo-elephant,he
launches 4 Laser guided Hellfire missles,attractin its attention and
givin the panther a slip in time to attack.He stays up high enuff to
remain outta the robot's trunk's swingin range. Letting the panther do
his work,he turns to the ninjas,aim'in his 20mm Vulcan 8 barrel chain gun,
knockin off rounds and pickin off as many ninjas as he can,if he's even
hittin any.He gets an idea and calls for back-up.
"HOUND ONE TO BASE,YA COPY?!?!"
"Go head Hound One"
"KOOL.CHECK DIS OUT,THERE'S SOME STRANGE S*** POPPIN OFF AT DA CAFE.
ROBO-ELEPHANTS,NINJAS,SOME ODD STUFF.IM GUNNA NEED SOME HELP KICKIN BUTT.
SEND DA CLEAN-UP CREW.....DIS GUNNA BE A GOOD ONE!"
"copy that Hound One,Back-ups headin down your block."
"TEN FOUR....BRING'EM ON!!"
In the distance,the blades of chopperS can be heard. Out of nowhere,
an Army Bell AH-1E Super Corba appears,draped in army camo.Behind him,
2 RH-66 Commanches follow suit,both in dark gray radar reflective paint.
Behind the RH-66s,another AH-64 Apache in camo shows itself.
"PARTRY TIME FELLAH!!!! DESTROY ANY AND EVERYTHING U SEE POSE'IN A THREAT
TO DA CAFE.ELEMINATE ALL NINJAS......DO WAHT U HAVE TO!!! LETS CLEAN HOUSE!!!!
With that,the choppers begin locking guns and Hydra rockets at the ninjas,
give'in everybody a pretty good early 4th of july fireworks show. Explosions
rocks the cafe as cars burst into flames,lamp poles topple over and cement
crators are made.The fun has just begun for the choppers at work!!
---------------------------------------------
Indy (MB Admin)
Watch your language, pally...(hmm, might as well contribute...)
::Back in Hondo, Bedivere perked up his ears. He and Indy were playing
checkers on an antique checkerboard, well-worn from many thousands of
previous games::
Indy: You hear something, Bedivere?
::Bedivere listended a moment or two longer, than shook his head::
Bedivere: Sounded like one of them AH-64 Apache morph helicopters,
flying over the desert. Must've been the prairie wind, coming over
Rough Rider Point.
Indy: If you say so--hey, you can't do that!
::Indy pointed to the board, where Bedivere had just jumped one of his
red pieces over five of Indy's black ones, making a few moves that weren't
in the regulations::
Bedivere: Why, didn't you know we're playing Texas-rules checkers?
::Indy looked at the old chiropteran suspiciously::
Indy: And what's that mean?
Bedivere: It means all moves are bigger here!*
::Bedivere laughed, and Indy stood up, slightly miffed::
Indy: Texas rules...hmm, I wonder what's going on over at the Coffeehouse.
You'd think they'd have defeated the forces of darkness long before this.
::Indy considered going, but then Bedivere caught his attention::
Bedivere: Okay cowpoke, we'll play it by regular rules this time.
::Indy and Bedivere sat down to play another game or five, unaware of the
events still unfolding at the Coffeehouse::
*For those unfamiliar with Texas, there's a common saying that everything's
bigger in Texas. I believe this comes mainly from the days of the oil booms
there, and the extravagant life some of the oil barons lived there.
Either that or everyone in the state works for the Texas tourism bureau ;-)
-------------------------------
Winston (Registered User)
Meanwhile, in a nearby tree...
Winston, having taken the form of a squirrel, was sitting on a treelimb
watching the proceedings from a distance, growing a little dismayed with
the whole chain of events.
"Oh, come on." he mumbled to himself. "Villains popping out of the woodword
from nowhere, Elmira clones, a giant panther, a homebrew army of ninjas,
and now a bunch of helicopters... the Coffeehouse is supposed to be a
relaxing place for charactors to hang out in when they're not busy being
written into a fic... Why do people feel the compulsion to turn it upside down
on a regular basis?" He lamented. "Not that I'm innocent myself, but this is
just over the top..."
"This is where I'm supposed to hang out when you're not writing about me?"
A figure, covered from head to toe in a large hooded robe that concealed
it's identity asked, sitting on a nearby treelimb. "And speaking of which,
I thought you said that this new piece you were working on was going to be
released soon..."
"Hey, I've been working on it." Winston said, pointing to a pad of paper
in his hands. "It's just turning out to be tougher to write than I thought.
Besides, I've already been pouring more time than I can really spare into it...
I'd be down there helping those guys out if I wasn't so busy with it."
"You mean if you weren't so lazy, and distracted with other nutball projects
on top of this one..." The robed person laughed.
"Yeah, that too." Winston nodded. The sound of distant machine gun fire and
missile detonations echoed in the distance. "I feel a bit sorry for not
doing much to get involved and help resolve this mess, but I'm time crunched,
and everything usually works itself out in the end, so I'm not too worried
about it..." He leaned back against the trunk of the tree, a pen and his
pad of paper in hand, and returned to his previous efforts.
-----------------------------------
Karl (Registered User)
Having finished his lunch, Hawnurra decided to take a stroll.
"Excuse me. Waiter? Could you provide a large bottle of artificial vanilla extract?"
"You must be hard up for a drink, guy. Here, I've got a stash of homebrew.."
"Thanks, but this is for somebody else. A little joke."
"You talk funny, but sure, we can fab as much extract as you want."
Hawnurra wandered along the periphery of chaos and destruction, finding himself
near Clawdia just as she was finishing her latest firey concoction. "Your pot
is boiling over, my dear," he said with complete sincerity, "Here, add some water."
Unused to such politeness, Clawdia began pouring the extract into her brew.
The rich, heady, sweet aroma surprised her, but it was too late.
A horde of warriors leapt forth from her pot, waving flowers and singing songs.
Hawnurra was nowhere to be seen - He'd turned and run while she was still pouring.
Inside the Coffeehouse, the waiter turned away from the window, laughing.
"That was a good one! But he still talks funny
-----------------------------------
MegaDale (Registered User)
Angels of mercy...NOT!
MegaDale having decided that it was time to find a safe spot from all the
calamity that was happening around him had made the decision to just
basically untie his bonds along with the Lovely Angels and the others
that were tied up after learning that toon rope may be hard to destroy
it was however easy to undo(especially since Elmyra never learned how
to tie rope correctly anyway) so after he and the girls were free,
MegaDale went to find a better spot to sit and watch all the chaos that
would befall the cafe and it's occupants once more while the Lovely Angels
decided to settle things once and for all with the unholy terrors that
were the Elmyra clones.
Kei:Alright you clones I'm dealing with you permantly this time!
Yuri:Kei,what are talking about,we're not gonna open fire on the clones
in here are we? We could hurt someone accidently if we do that and you
know that's how we ended up with our dreaded nick name in the first place,
remember?
Well do you have a better idea Yuri?
Of course I do as always,watch.
Yuri grabs some thin cable with a small anchor on the end of it from one
of her utility pouches and gets it ready.
Yuri:Okay,all you Elmyra clones,who wants to have their picture taken?
All the clones having stopped chasing the patrons around when they heard
Yuri's invitation had all run up to where the angels were and all yelled
at once,MEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Okay, smile and say goodnight.
Clones:Huh?
With that Yuri tosses the cable around the clones that spirel around them
at a high rate of speed that quickly ties them all up and having the anchor
which was an electromagnetic one at the end of it to securly fasten them
by attaching itself to the cable so as for them not to escape,and with the
clones unable to move Yuri gives the code word.
Yuri:Clear
The cable suddenly comes alive with a blistering amout of electricity and
electrocutes the clones that have all of them screaming from the assault
on them from the high voltage and after a few moments the current running
through the cable dies and the clones are all out of commision once again.
Yuri There,see Kei we can be resourcful when we need to be.
Kei:Great,but what do we do with the little buggers now that they're out
cold again?
Yuri:Hmm,good question.
------------------------------------
Greyhound Bus (Registered User)
operation "Cafe Watch"
After pluckin rounds at the Ninja Creatures,and amost destroying the
Robo-Elephant,the choppers all head off to a near by airport for a
re-fueling session.After a fast 3 min flight,the all arrive at the airport
and land for re-fuelin,all of them yappin bout how much fun they had.
RH-66 no.1(AirRaid): God that was fun!!! I havent had that much fun since
the US Army put me in a test range with 30 armed M60 Tanks!
AH-64 no.2(Razor):Last time i had this much fun was Dessert Storm!!
AH-1(Hard Drive): I cant remember the last time i had this much action!!
AH-66 no.1(Stealth): Thats cause you too old!!What was it like in the Civil War?!
They all started laughing except Hard Drive who did find the joke amuse'in.
Hard Drive: Bet i can take u down in less than 10 seconds.
Stealth: you're to old to hang with the new.
Da Bus: ok fellahs,enuff wit da wise cracks.We gotta hurry!! Operation
"Cafe Watch" is still on.
Stealth: Calm down now,we just have'in some fun wit da old timer.
Hard Drive: Keep yappin and u wont live to see Old Times!
Stealth: Wanna make somethin of it old timer!!
Hard Drive: Bring it on youngster!!
The two choppers start aim'en there chin guns at each other.
Hard Drive: u forget'in....this aint no stock gun.Its 30mm of power.
Wanna tour of it?!
Da Bus: KNOCK IT OFF!!! SAVE IT FOR THE OPERATION!!! YALL SOUND LIKE A
BUNCH OF TOYS!!
They both start mumblin to themselves,disarming as a fuel truck drives up.
Fuel Truck: What will it be fellas?!
DaBus: give us your best....Octane 03
Fuel truck: right at ya!!
5 other fuel trucks came out and start fuelin up the choppers
Da Bus: Get your rest now......there's more unknown stuff up ahead so be prepared!!
Everythings unknown when its the Acorn Cafe!
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CD (Registered User)
CD decided it was about time for the big cleanup
And thus he would need a big vacuum cleaner. Because none was around at
the moment, he decided the big elephant machine's trunk would do the job.
He stealthfully made his way to the giant mammoth with a small bird feather
until he was dangerously close to Black Panther and his adversary.
"Hey, stomping memory recorder!" CD yelled at the elephant/robot thing.
When the thing turned around to scan who had insulted it, CD blew the light
feather right into the trunk of the doomsday device. The feline cook and
legged tiger had noticed one of their adversaries was planning something
and in turn had sneaked up on CD. When they where about to jump him, the
elephant could no longer hold out and with one giant sneeze he launched
his two companions off into space. Quickly, CD climbed up onto the trunk
and put a huge cork in it. The 'body' of the machine began to swell, and
finally he exploded with a loud bang, scattering everything he he sucked
up in his life around the place. CD was very pleased to see there was a
small statue of Clarice amongst the mess, in perfect condition. He quickly
grabbed in and hugged it, for he was certain he'd never afford this piece
had he bougth it in a Disney store.
"This is going to be placed in my shrine!" He declared happily and safely
tucked the collectors item away.
----------
Meanwhile, in space, the final frontier, Luke Skywalker was on his way to
recieve training from master Yoda when two huge creatures got stuck on
his 'windshield'.
"Oh great, bugs!" He complained and turned on his X-wing's whizzer.
R2-D2 bleeped a few words to Luke.
"Watch your language R2!" The legendary soon-to-be hero scolded his droid.
In turn, the droid made a few more noises.
"Apoligies accepted. And yes, those weren't exactly bugs. But to a man who's
Startrekkin' across the universe they're nuisances all the same."
----------
Back on the Dragonplanet, CD was busy dealing with the Ninjutstews.
But because he already had a lot of snacks before the adventure even started,
the main course was simply to big for him to swallow. And the thougth that
he'd have to travel Black Panther's inside to find the insidious Frezzic
the pike and remove him so the Black Panther became JAM once more almost
caused CD to throw up all the stew. He was going to need some help.
--------
Good day and anyone hungry? Anyone in for some cave traveling and raw fish?
-----------------------------------------------------
Greyhound Bus (Registered User)
and back to the show!!
The choppers by now got there fill and lifted off,en-route for the Cafe.
When they arrived,they were in for a huge suprise.All da ninja things
were gone. The huge Robo-Elephant thing was gone too. Somebody had already
enjoyed themselves in the task of whippin the elephant out but who.
They all circled around the cafe a few times, take'in in the scene that
was once filled with action and explosions.
Razor: Where'd da bot go?!?!?!
Hard Drive: looks like somebody beat us to the clean-up.
Stealth: no lie....they left nothing for the Clean Up Crew to clean up!!
Air Raid: i hope we still get paid over time!!
Da Bus: over time being my front tire up your exhaust!! i told yall to
hurry up!! oh well,atleast we did something. Razor,Air Raid, yall fly up
and do high altitude observance.Let me know if anything or anybody comes
into this area that might appose a threat.The rest of us will sit around
and wait for sometihng to happen.
Hard Drive: Gotcha!
Air Raid: Rite on!!
The two choppers tilted forward and departed to the east,grabbing altitude
as they went.They circled the area above the cafe at 6,000 feet up and went
into watch mode. The remaining choppers just all hovered around, waitin for
something to pop off.
Stealth: Gee this is going to be fun.....we get to hover over building and
stare at it all day!!! yyaaayyyy
Da Bus: Keep yappin your gum flapper and u wont need to hover when im done
wit u.Now hush up and keep your scanners open for anything.Razor then
spotted something down below them.
Razor: i got something move'in. dont know who he is but he's alive.
Razor relaid the photo uplink to Da Bus and he got a clip peck.
Da Bus: thats CD!!
Razor: C who?!
Stealth: CD...he just said it!!
Razor: i know that...i was askin....nevermind...geez
All the choppers land to holla at CD and to ask what in da world
just happened!!
like i said,it da Cafe,everything's unknown!!
-----------------------------------------------
The J.A.M. (Registered User)
Phew! I'm back!
[...unWARP!!!]
Good evening.
*******
The massive Black Panther huffed and puffed in near exhaustion,
but the elephant, the cat, and the leopard were finally gone.
Then he heard the choppers coming.
And they were loud.
And needless to say, he didn't like loud noises.
So, in his hulking state, he did what came instictively.
[********MEGAWARP!!!!!!!*******]
He warped, but with his enhanced powers, the warp was also enhanced.
And no one knew where he went.
*******
Until next time, remember:
I AM THE J.A.M.
Good evening.
[WARP!!!]
----------------------------------
* Okay, lets bring it up to the top.
Chip Chap
(
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