Monterey Jack:

I will try to control my cheese attacks.

I will not eat fake cheese, no matter how good it smells.

I will not embarass myself when my mom stops by for a visit.

I will not embarass myself by talking about my love-life on camera.

I will not date French chicks named Desiree.

I shall not toss Gadget’s navigational equipment overboard.

I will not remove the life raft and I certainly will not attempt to lie about it.

I will not eat everything that’s in the refrigerator.

I shall not rush carelessly into a room in which I know villains are going to ambush me.

I shall not attempt to explain things to Monty; this only annoys him.

I shall not come to a dead stop on a flying carpet to examine its circuitry.

I will work on my inventions ONLY in my workshop. I will not bring them downstairs where they could hurt one of the guys while I am making adjustments to them.

I will not make shrewd, emotional outbursts on camera.

I will not act like the ultimate pacifist one moment, only to act like Mike Tyson the next moment.

I will not growl and make weird faces at the camera. This is Dale’s job, not mine.

I shall not get the boys’ hopes up and then ignore them.

I shall notice Chip’s and Dale’s advances and I will do something about them.

I will not make fun of Dale’s comic book obsession.

I will not insult his TV shows, either.

I will watch where I’m going. To facilitate this, I won’t talk while I walk.

I will make reality checks more frequently.

People who look like me get me into trouble.

I shall take lessons on how to be more tactful.

I will try not to be mean to people who like me.

I will not flirt with Gadget EVERY time I see her.

I will cut back on the number of times I bonk Dale on the head.

I shall not bonk Dale on the head while he is wearing a helmet. This hurts my paw.

I will not use the word "crazy" while talking about one of Gadget’s inventions.

I will always wear my seatbelt while riding with Gadget (in one of her vehicles).

I will not yell at Monty unless he really deserves it.

I will not show off in front of Gadget and then goof up. This makes me look bad. There are better ways to impress her.

I will not "get" Dale last.

I will not believe EVERYTHING I see on TV.

I will not flirt with Gadget during a case.

I willl not try to impress Gadget and then goof up.

I will give Foxglove a chance.

I shall not leave a mess in front of the TV so Gadget will have to "core vault" over it, even though it IS fun to watch her do this.

I will not eat all the nuts in RRHQ and I will not complain when they send me out to get more.

I will try to control my chocolate attacks.

Space aliens get me into trouble. It is best to just leave them alone.

I will not laugh at Chip while he’s in pain.

I will not play pirate while my friends are worried about me.

I shall not stand in front of cannons; especially not loaded ones that are about to fire.

I shall make reality checks more often.

Zipper:

I should have more confidence in myself.

I will not run off and get myself smashed on apple cores when I am depressed.

I may be small, but I am a valuable asset to the ‘Rangers.

I will not touch metallic surfaces while an electrical current is running through them.

I will not piss off Gadget.

I will learn how to swim.

I shall learn how to use a weapon other than a can opener.

I will not laugh at Gadget right before she kicks my sorry tail.

I will ditch my dopey hood and get a competently designed costume.

I shall develop my leg muscle so I won’t look so top-heavy.

I will hire competent help.

I will not waste perfectly good sarcasm on my flunkies. They cannot comprehend it.

I shall not capture a Rescue Ranger to use as bait. This gets me into trouble.

I will get a new hideout, which will be much cooler than the Happy Tom mascot.

I will not state the obvious.

I will not underestimate the Rescue Rangers. I may be a cat, but they outnumber me and use teamwork very well.

I shall not give the camera a good, long view of my tail end.

I will not run lame scams.

I will not blame Gadget when they fail.

I will not throw a tantrum when things don’t go my way.

I shall not abuse my boyfriend, nor his surfboard.

I will not waste my sarcasm on those who do not comprehend it (i.e. Haba Haba).

I will not swear to Pele. An unsuspecting haole might mistake this as an oath of sincerity.

I shall not impersonate a volcano goddess/priestess of Pele and use a fake volcano to do so, just so I can get my way.

I will not try to destroy an entire village just because I did not get what I wanted.

I will not make Dale look bad.

I will not make Chip look VERY bad.

I shall not lure people into volcanoes; not even fake ones.

I will get a decent tailor.

I will hire more competent help.

Slavery gets me into trouble, so I should not practice it.

I will not try to kiss Gadget. This gets me into more trouble.

I will not act surprised when she tries to slap me.

I will try to control my gold fever.

I am not a Ferengi, even though I have the ears for the part.

I should think of better ways to dispose of people.

I shall get a life.