From: "Claudia Modell" 
Title: Future
Author: Claudia Modell
e-mail: cmodell@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/1828
Rating: PG
Keywords: Pre-XF
Summary: Samantha`s and Fox`s thoughts at the night of Samantha`s abduction. 



Scene 1 - Samantha

"-Fox???"
He must be joking. But how he did this?? How he did that light? It`s cold in here. I would like to know where *here* is. Or what it is.
"-Fox!! Please!!"
I scream over and over, but I can`t hear anything. Even my own screams. It`s dark in here. And cold. The light isn`t at the window anymore. There`s not a window anymore. I am not at home, I am sure. My brother is not here, I know that, but I can`t help it, I have to call for him.I have nothing to do.Am I sleeping? I dreamed once that I had fallen in a hole. It was so real...I called my mother, and she came, and kissed me, calming me, telling me that it was just a nightmare. I should call for her, now. I know that. But I can`t. I am afraid that if I call her and it is not a nightmare, I won`t be back. That`s why I call my brother. He takes care of me all the time. He will come to save me. But, ....what if he didn't know where am I?? 
"-FOX!!!"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Scene 2 - Fox

She is gone. I saw the light at the window. She went toward the light. I did nothing. She is gone. 
They will be back soon. My parents. They will ask for Samantha. 
They have the right of asking for her, and I must know where is she. 
But I don`t. She is so young, small, helpless. I just sit, waiting the time to pass. 
Waiting they arrive and begin to hate me. Waiting someone tell me 
I am an useless. That I`m not able to take care of a eight-year old child. I wait and I hope. 
I hope she will be back telling me that it was just a joke. I hope my parents will calm me and say
they will find her. I hope they actually will find her and tomorrow we will go to school. I will
tease her and telling to her she is going to ruin my life. As I always do. But she don`t ruin
my life. She give a sense to my life. I know she is my youngest sister and that the youngest sisters
exist to be teased, but I have to admit she is the one who keeps me fine.
My parents can see me just when she is with me. 
They don`t like me. I am sure. They love me. All parents do. But they don`t
like me. I don`t care, really. You don`t have to like a person. No one must.
I can accept that, but it`s nice to pretend they like me when Samantha is near.
I would like to scream her name, but I can`t. So I keep saying her name, in a whisper.
Samantha, Samantha, Samantha. I say her name so many times that it doesn`t make sense
anymore. I can`t associate the name to the person. 
But I can`t think in anything else. I can`t cry. I would like to cry, to scream her name.
I would like to call my mother, and cry... This is all I would like to do now.
Be weak, to cry, to scream, to die....
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Scene 3 - Samantha

I am tired. I want to sleep. But if it is a nightmare I shouldn`t be sleepy.
I want to cry, but I won`t. Fox wouldn`t. He never cries. It`s a thing to scary little girls.
I am not a little girl. But I am scared....
If just someone were here. Even Jay will be welcome. He thinks he is the smartest and strongest 
boy in the school, but he is just a fool. He would be welcome. 
Anyone will be welcome. It could have a light turned on, at least. The moonlight.
It`s too late. Or too soon. The moon is gone. The sun gave up to come.
I must be nowhere. The middle of nowhere. In the space.
But I can`t see the stars. My eyes are useless here. All my senses are useless.
My teacher will be happy if she knew I remember the five senses, but she couldn`t understand
that my senses are useless.
I am blind. I can`t hear. I can`t smell. My mouth is dry, and I can`t feel my body.
Usually when I lie in my bad I can feel the softness of my sheets, the smell of my hairs, I can 
see the light dancing on the wall, I can taste the toothpaste in my mouth and I can hear my
mother telling me good night
But here I can have any of this. I try to cry, not mattering with what Fox would say.
I can`t, though. The tears are blocked somewhere inside of me. I sob, but neither this
can help me.
"-God!!"
God should hear me. He shouldn`t let me here, in the middle of nowhere.
Jennifer told me that God is everywhere. I asked her if God could go to some place where
there was nothing. She said yes. She said that God fill all the empty spaces. God will never
let a place to be a desert place. 
But there is nothing here. So, where is God???
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Scene 4 - Fox

I have no idea how much time passed since she disappeared. I think I lost the idea of time.
Or maybe the time went away with her. That`s it. Why should God allow me to use the time?
I am useless. I don`t deserve the time.I don`t deserve the light. 
The house is dark. I notice that just now. The television was on, before. But now there`s 
nothing. Not a light outside. Total darkness.
The silence is awful. I think it must be just like this, when a boat is lost in the ocean.
The silence and the darkness.
A enormous empty and the unkonwn so near. 
But even the lost boats have the right to a light to guide them.
I don`t have it. I don`t have anything to guide me into this darkness, in my own home.
I don`t have a light to guide me toward Samantha. 
I am lost in my house, not knowing what to say to my parents, not knowing what to say
to myself. 
I don`t know whether I say to myself she is coming back soon, or I just stand up and
begin to search for her. The only thing I know it is very dark and there`s no light to guide me.
I would like to sleep and dream. Maybe if I dream I can give an end to my misery.
If to die is like to sleep, then I would like to die. To dream. But which dreams I will 
have if I died? What kind of dreams are dreamed when we are sleeping dead?
Better not to know. Better neither to sleep or die.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Scene 5 - Samantha

I feel nothing. I don`t feel pain. I don`t cry, or scream, anymore.
I am not cold either. I still not hearing, seeing, feeling. Nothing.
But I am not suffering.
My thoughts are simple, now. I am not worried anymore. It`s everything
practical, simple. It doesn`t matter where I am, where I was, who I was.
I don`t care about the things I left behind. The important thing now is the empty, the
nothing. I am nothing, now.
If it is like to be dead, I will prefer to live forever. I`ll prefer to suffer. I try to cry
again. But I have no motives. I feel nothing. I would like to disappear, to vanish.
To be nothing. I don`t think in this way with sadness, but just knowing that it is
the right way.
I have to go ahead, leave the light behind, leave my shampoo`s perfume behind,
my mother` sweet voice, my bother`s love, my dad careness.
I have to forget the sweet taste of hot chocolate. To forget the wind in a hot day.
To forget the puppy`s smell, the three`s color, the sunshine.
To forget means not suffer. It`s the best. To go ahead and don`t like behind.
Not even knowing what is ahead.
I have no choice. I can just wait, and I will. I don`t have anything else to do.
I don`t have past or memories. Just my future. And something inside me says that
the better way to make the future is see it as the past.
And this is the way it`s going to happen. I will stay here remembering my future.
Remembering when my brother found me. The day I saw the light again, the sun,
the stars. 
"-Fox, I am waiting for you. You are the only one I trust"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Scene 6 - Fox

A noise coming from the door. My mother laughs. They come in the house.
I can see them, coming in. I need to freeze this moment. But the time will pass 
fast, I know that. I would like the time stop, now. I wish them stay at that door
forever, not knowing what happened. 
But the time isn`t kind. It was created to pass fast. Faster when you pray it slow 
down. 
I take a breath. I have to be ready for the first minute of the rest of my life.
I know I have to take a very long breath. I have to try to take all the energy of
the world. My heart is going crazy, my head is hurting, my mouth is dry and I just can`t
stand up. The time did stop, but just for me. They are entering the house, coming in e 
talking about the wonderful night they had had. 
And then it happens. I stare at them and I see their eyes, and the deception, the anger.
What a funny! The time which didn`t want to stop, decides to freeze, now.
And it freezes everything. 
I forget everything. I can`t remember yesterday, the day before yesterday, the last
Christmas evening. I can just see the future. It is so clear, and dark at the same way.
I can see myself alone, with no light to guide me, not a sweet voice to calm me, not a 
sympathetic face. I feel a terrible cold. The cold I fell will be with me forever, I know.
The only way I can escape is to find Samantha. I need to find her.
She took away all the light, the heat.
She let me here, alone, not prepared to be with these people, who she knew so well.
The time now decides to be my friend. Maybe my mind just went away and let my
body take a rest. I lie in my bad and look through the window. The sky is
clear and the stars are very bright.
The word is still going in its way. Tomorrow the sun is going to born again.
Some persons will die, other will born, and other will just live. 
Even my parents will continue their lives.
But for me and Samantha there`s no present. Just the future....

The end.

    Source: geocities.com/televisioncity/set/4179

               ( geocities.com/televisioncity/set)                   ( geocities.com/televisioncity)