Toto, I Don't Think We're in Paris Anymore


Esmerelda : What... what hit me?  Where am I?

Splatter : Hey look, girls!  Fresh meat!

Esmerelda : Aaaaaaaggggghhhhhh!!!  Hideous duck faced demons!!!

Mirage : Oh, so you've met Splatter and Camille before, huh?

Esmerelda : Aaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhh!!!  A really annoying cat faced demon!

Camille : Well, she obviously knows you, Mirage.

Esmerelda : Please, this must be a dream.

Splatter : Ah, hope springs eternal.  Much like Camille keeps hoping for a
boyfriend.

Camille : Hey!  It could happen!

Mirage : Yeah, and monkeys might fly outta my butt.

Esmerelda : Please, apparitions, tell me where I am?

Splatter : Imagine a place beyond your *worst* nightmares...

Esmerelda : I'm in Ohio?

Mirage : Ooooh, she'll do well here.

Splatter : No, dearest, you are trapped in a little pocket of unreal estate
owned by that troubadour of the transmundane....

Camille : The foremost of freaks...

Mirage : That snazziest of dressers...

Splatter : Snazziest of dressers?  What the heck is that supposed to mean?
Santa's elves dress with more panache than Geary does.

Mirage : Yeah, but you didn't expect me to say that, did you!

Splatter : What, so now you're trying to become an honorary Chaos Sister?

Mirage : Well, they *are* annoying...

Entropy : We heard that!

Camille : Get back to your own corner of dimentia, this one is taken!

Esmerelda : Wait, you said Geary...  oh dear gods no!!!  I had thought he
was just a myth used to scare new characters into joining the union!!

Splatter : Oh, no, Geary is all too real... well, using the word "real"
loosely...

Esmerelda : But I thought he was only interested in, well, you know, um...

Mirage : Freaky duck mutants?

Camille : I wish!

Splatter : A-hem!

Mirage : No, he's an equal opportunity lunatic.  Let's see what other
small-noses we've got around here... Hey, Harley!  Get over here!

Harley : What's up, Mirage?

Mirage : Just showing the new girl that it's not just us normal looking
folks who got trapped here.

Harley : Hey, it's not so bad.  Back in my own dimension, I was the
girlfriend to a raving psychotic homicidal maniac....  It's like I never left!

Splatter : Looks like Harley's been eating paint chips again.  Maybe you
should talk to Ivy about it... where is she, anyways?

Harley : Geary's got her working on developing a plant that sprouts pizzas.

Camille : But wouldn't that make pizzas a vegetable?  I thought vegetables
and other wholesome foods were like poison to him?

Harley : Why do you think Ivy agreed to do it?

Esmerelda : Wait... over there...  isn't that Judge Frollo!!!

Splatter : Yeah, he showed up a little before you...

Esmerelda : But I thought only babes were allowed into Geary's Realm!  Wait,
um, Geary isn't, uh, you know...

Splatter : No, don't let the cheerleader outfit obsession fool you.  He just
lets all villains come visit from time to time.

Esmerelda : But why would he want that hideously evil man to come visit?

Camille : Oh, Geary and Frollo have lots in common.

Esmerelda : For example?

Mirage : Well, they both wanted to nail you, didn't they?

Esmerelda : Oh, ick!

Frollo : Hey, Esmerelda, how's tricks?

Esmerelda : Frollo!  I thought we had consigned you to burn in hellfire for
all eternity!

Frollo : I should be so lucky... instead I wound up in Geary's home world...

Esmerelda : But... but... you strangely don't seem quite so evil...

Frollo : It's the effect this world has on you.  Now, instead of being on a
quest to exterminate gypsies, I am on a quest to exterminate bad vibes.

Esmerelda : Bitchin'!

Frollo : Have you noticed that your caliber of dialogue has also
degenerated, Esmerelda?

Splatter : Well, Geary does do all the writing himself around here...

Camille : Speaking of the poster boy for infanticide, where is Geary?

Announcer : Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to tonight's main event!  Let's
get ready to ruuummmmbbbbblleee!!!!!!!

Esmerelda : What the heck was that?

Splatter : That's Geary's sound system.  They play that stupid intro before
major sporting events, Geary thought it was cool, so now he plays it before
he does anything...

Mirage : Yeah, even before he goes to the bathroom.  Gross!

Esmerelda : That was way more than I needed to know...

Geary : Hi everybody!  Miss me?

Splatter : With every bullet so far...

Esmerelda : Um, excuse me, Geary?

Geary : Well hello there!  You're new!  Woooo, fresh meat!

Esmerelda : Um, I don't think I quite...

Geary : I've been playing the field all night and I think I can hit a home
run with you...

Esmerelda : Excuse me?

Geary : Is it getting hot in here, or is it just you?

Esmerelda : I beg your pardon?

Geary : Hey, I'll be the one doing the begging around here, babe, but it
won't be for your pardon...

Esmerelda : Look, I think there's been some kind of mix up...

Geary : Wait a minute!  Look at you!  There's been a horrible mistake!

Esmerelda : Whew!  I thought so.

Geary : Where's your cheerleader outfit?  Wardrobe!  Somebody get me
wardrobe!  Cheerleader outfits for everybody!

Frollo : Um, I really need to be going.  Shere Khan and Megabyte need their
voice back...

Esmerelda : Frollo, I've reconsidered your offer - take me with you!!!

Geary : Hey, you're not going anywhere!  I have ten million more pick up
lines I want to try out on you!  Hey, come back here!  Woooo, playing hard
to get!  Smithers, release the hounds!

Chris : This is so humiliating...

Splatter : Well, that should keep him out of our hair for a while...

Camille : Yeah, if only we could keep those squirrels out of your hair, we'd
be all set.

Splatter : Hey, what are you saying about my hair!

Mirage : As much as I'd like to stay around and see this, I'm late for my
weekly Evil Sorceress meeting...

Camille : Hey, mind if we tag along?

Mirage : But you're not official L.E.S.B...

Camille : With Geary around, we could learn...

Splatter : Quit changing the subject!  What about my hair!

Mirage : Well, we are low on members.  Sure, come along.

Splatter : But what about my hair!  Hey, are you guys ignoring me!  What,
should I start washing it?  Would that help?  Come back here!

The End...  For Now...

    Source: geocities.com/televisioncity/set/4340

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