by Katie Allen

Outside the station, Chris studied Julia. "I killed you. I wasn't fully changed when you entered my cell. I remember some of it. I don't know how you've come back. But I do know I killed you." He touched her face as though to see if she were real, pushing her hair back from her forehead with his finger.

"You didn't kill me. Barnabas reached us in time. I was badly hurt." Julia stated.

Chris looked her in the eyes, remembering the last time he saw her. "Julia, I didn't just injure you. I don't want you to come to give me treatments any more. Living with what I did too you... I just can't live with the possibility of it happening again. I think it's time to give up fighting."

Julia put her hand on his arm. "It is not too late. Believe me, I am fine, and I will not give up until you are too."

Chris remembered the terror in her eyes, the way she had fallen when he hit her. The blood on her face, where now there was no scar. If she could come back from the dead, maybe anything was possible. "Have it your way, Julia. I’ll see you in a couple of days." He looked at Barnabas. "Take care of her."

Barnabas shook his hand. "I will. Now off with you, your family must be terribly worried." Chris didn't need to be told twice and left.

At the hospital, Julia expected a different reaction from the staff. Her 'son' had been seriously ill. When she walked in, she had expected censure, antagonism, for waiting so long to come see him, but no one acted as though she had been a bad mother. She knew her reaction would have been different. The staff of this time seemed nicer than their counterparts. What she didn't know was Sheriff Max had called the hospital warning them. He had known Julia for six years, and she introduced herself to him. She had been as seriously injured as Barnabas had said. He felt bad for her and Barnabas, they were almost acting like strangers with each other. Then the sheriff remembered that she had known Barnabas for less time than she had known him. Her own husband must be a stranger to her. That was when he called the hospital.

So as Julia was ushered into her son's room, nurses, and doctors introduced themselves to her, and treated her very gently. The nurse standing by Bramwell's bed, once a friend of Julia's, began to weep when Julia went to the bed and looked at her child, then looked at her husband and asked, "Is this him?"

Bramwell hearing his mother's voice opened his eyes and reached out for her. "Mama!" He held her tightly, and she held him close.

* * * Author’s note:

It would be nice at this point to read that the three of them went home that night. That Bramwell was well. That Julia and Barnabas realized they loved each other, and fell into bed for a night of passion. But it didn't happen that way.

Although Bramwell got well quickly under the care of his mother, and thrived in her abundant love for him, Barnabas and Julia each slept alone, and lonely. Barnabas had loved his Julia, so it took him a little time to learn to love again, and it didn't happen until he came upon our Julia's diaries, and read them in secret.

* * *

Julia had spent an exhausting day with Bramwell. In fact it had been an exhausting week. Bramwell had come home from the hospital, and spent the first few days clinging to his ‘mother’. Soon he found that the rules had altered, and had spent the rest of the week testing to find the new boundaries. After several days, it seemed that she and Bramwell had finally come to the decision that she was boss, and for the first time, it looked like motherhood was not as bad as she was beginning to think it was. Tonight Bramwell had gone to sleep without an argument, and to celebrate, Julia went to bed early to catch up on her sleep.

Barnabas had at Julia’s insistence, allowed her to develop the new relationship with Bramwell, and was happy to see it had finally been resolved.

These past few weeks, Barnabas had felt guilty. He wanted Julia, a deep yearning want.

With Julia’s going to bed, he had a long evening to himself. He took Julia’s diaries from where she had hidden them, and retired to his room with Julia's thoughts, and a cup of tea. He read for several hours, then stole into Julia's room for her current diary. He knew he shouldn't, but there was something he needed to know. He took the diary from the drawer. He sat a long time after he finished reading all she had written. It was the middle of the night when Barnabas entered Julia's room, and looked down at her sleeping.

It was dark, but he could make out her face, serene, relaxed. He thought about the first day they met in that room. He was so happy to see her. He would have promised her anything to make her stay, and had. The few weeks she had been here, each day she seemed to smile less, except when she was with Bramwell. She never admitted to anything being wrong, but something was. When he had come upon her diaries, he decided to read them to understand her better, and in so doing he had found he already knew her, he was the stranger. For the several weeks she had been there, he had told himself that he had given her a better life than the one she had fled, but he was wrong. He had only given her another woman's child, not a life. He realized how wrong he had been. He had been mourning a woman who was still living in his house. The legend had been right, she was Julia come back to life.

When his Julia first died, he had read her diaries again, and again, until he knew them almost by heart. As he read these other diaries, he realized that Julia was the same no matter what universe she was in. The experiences might at times be different, but she was the same. It was uncanny that her diaries on some days were almost exact to the ones he already knew. The differences were not in her, but in him.

If Julia had not been there for him from almost the first moment of his release, his path would have been the same as that other Barnabas. It was like looking at himself through an old mirror, distorted, yet the same. The obsession with Josette transferred to Maggie. It took him back to the first time he met Maggie. If he hadn't been halfway in love with Julia when he met her... he didn't like to think of what he might have become. The shock of Maggie looking so much like Josette… It was Julia who made him realize that Josette was gone, and that he needed a flesh and blood woman not a ghost.

He had read about her last few days in her own time. All that passion wasted on pieces of paper. How could his other self be so blind? And then he thought of Julia, sleeping alone. He took her current diary, there was something he needed to know. Did Julia love him? Not that other Barnabas, but him? When he finished her diary, he knew, and came to her. If she would have him it was time to make their marriage a real one. He undressed, and dropped his clothes on the nearest chair. As he got into bed beside her, Julia awoke. "Barnabas?"

He chuckled, "Were you hoping for someone else?"

Julia stuttered, "N-no. I just wasn't expecting you."

Barnabas put his arms around Julia. He was not surprised when she pressed herself against him. That night they ended their loneliness.

* * * Author’s note:

This is the end of the story, or the beginning if you prefer. Except for an incident which occurred one 4^th of July.

* * *

Julia was at Collinwood, for a picnic. Bramwell was outside playing with Maggie and Joe’s children, spinning until they were dizzy, then lying on the grass and looking up into the sky, finding pictures in the clouds. The men were manning the barbecue, while the woman exchanged the latest gossip. While she was there, she stopped off at the room that brought her to the fulfillment of her dreams. Ever since she had come through it almost three years ago, she had been very happy.

Although she hadn't found a cure yet for Chris, they were both sure it would come soon. Twice they had come so very close. Julia and Barnabas 'renewed their vows' and went on a second honeymoon, only the two of them knowing it was their first. Julia finally saw Europe, in the company of the man she loved. After a difficult and almost fatal pregnancy, Julia gave birth to a daughter they called Nan.

Julia opened the door and looked into the empty room, wondering what her life would have been like had she stayed in her own time. She shuddered at the thought of how empty it would have been. Suddenly the room before her changed subtly. A man was in the room. It was Barnabas. No it wasn't. His face was haggard and old looking. It was the Barnabas she used to know. The man leaned against the fireplace in despair, and groaned, "Julia."

Julia quietly closed the door, and walked away.

THE END

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