As was published on the Web by The Discovery Channel
This week's topic: WEIRD SCIENCE
Welcome to WEB WHIRL with The Digital Diva
Your Host: Michelle Slatalla
Brought to you by Discovery Channel Online
Remember: WEB WHIRL has moved to a new date and time: Fridays at 4 p.m. Eastern Time, 1 p.m. Pacific! Now you can shirk work for a full hour of online pleasure!
Sparky: Good Afternoon, and welcome to Web Whirl with the Digital Diva!
Web Whirl is designed as a guided tour. Our Fearless Leader, the Digital Diva, and me, her faithful sidekick, Sparky, prowl the Web and sniff out interesting sites for your entertainment and edification.
We'll check out more than a dozen sites in the next hour, and keep the Diva's flying saucer moving at warp speed. Today, we're taking a look at WEIRD SCIENCE. Our very special guest is PAUL ZALOOM, host of the popular science TV show BEAKMAN'S WORLD.
If some of these sites interest you, bookmark 'em and go back to them after the Whirl is over. That way you won't miss any scintillating repartee from our Diva, you won't miss any new sites we push your way, and (most importantly), we won't melt anybody's server.
Now, without further ado ... LET THE WEB WHIRL BEGIN!
Diva: Thanks, Sparky. Today's topic: Real Science vs. Weird Science. When does an experiment or theory go over the edge? We'll look at some of the creative -- and desperate -- things being done online in the name of science.
Paul, thanks for navigating today. This trip through the dark jungles of pseudo-science isn't one I'd like to take alone.
Paul Zaloom: It's swell to be here today. Thanks for having me.
Beakman's World
http://www.spe.sony.com/Pictures/tv/beakman/beakman.html
Diva: On Beakman's World, you run segments on "Those Disgusting Animals." How do you pick which animals are disgusting enough to get air time? I, for one, would be willing to nominate Sparky as a candidate for experimentation.
Paul Zaloom: We've done slugs, worms, and cockroaches so far. The cockroaches we found hanging around the Married with Children set. They did an episode where Kelly gets trapped in a phone booth with tons of roaches and I met the roach wranglers, who were cool guys.
Paul Zaloom
http://www.spe.sony.com/Pictures/tv/beakman/bios.html#a
Diva: One thing that interests me is the danger that accompanies really weird science. Have you ever done anything dangerous on the show? Ever singed your hair, for instance?
Paul Zaloom: We blew up a bottle of liquid nitrogen by dropping the sealed bottle into a garbage can of water. I was not on the stage -- nor was any one else. So my acrylic hair is still intact.
Facts About Beakman's World
http://www.spe.sony.com/Pictures/tv/beakman/facts.html#b
Sparky: My favorite snack as a weird science experiment:
Twinkie Experiments
http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~gouge/twinkies.html
[Don't Try This At Home ... Or Anywhere Else For That Matter!]
Diva: Here we have some serious Weird Science. A bunch of college students were so desperate to avoid studying for finals that they conducted a battery of tests on unsuspecting Twinkies (nature's perfect food).
Paul Zaloom: Back when I was a full time performance artist, I did a show about modern food processing called "Phood." I showed slides of various industrial food ingredients such as wood, and some explosive stuff that is used as an antioxidant. It blows up in storage if you're not careful.
Diva: Does it make a nice sandwich, though?
Paul Zaloom: You betcha. By the way, I will be performing my solo show at the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC, on November 15 and 16 -- I think.
Diva: Will you using any Weird Science techniques to get to Washington? Like transforming yourself into antimatter to get there faster?
Paul Zaloom: No, I'm gonna roll myself into a little ball and Fed Ex my butt to the Nation's Capital.
Diva: Are you going to do any science in your act?
Paul Zaloom: Only peripherally. I do one piece on the overhead projector: a live action animated cartoon about sewage treatment, using puppets and transparencies. That's science, isn't it?
Diva: And art!
PopTart Flamethrowers
http://www.sci.tamucc.edu/~pmichaud/toast/
[Don't Try This At Home ... Or Anywhere Else For That Matter!]
Diva: Here we have some brave scientists willing to sacrifice the life of an innocent toaster in the name of science. They toasted some strawberry PopTarts until they incinerated. I guess this would fall into the category of "phood" --and into the category of "armaments," as well.
Sparky: Diva, isn't this the way you normally cook around your home, anyway?
Diva: Is that a hint you want a dinner invite? You could become dinner, in fact.
Paul Zaloom: Very cool cuisine techniques!
The Electric Pickle!
http://www.iii.net/users/mhr/levd-page.html
[Don't Try This At Home ... Or Anywhere Else For That Matter!]
Diva: Running current through a pickle and a kimchi. Is this just a natural extension of the curiosity that led an earlier generation of scientists to experiment with electricity with kites and keys?
Paul Zaloom: We did a demo with a pickle ... ran current through it and made it glow.
Diva: Why a pickle? Why not a grape? Why not a watermelon?
Paul Zaloom: Pickle is funnier than grape. The old saw: "P" words are funnier then "G" words. We try to keep kosher on the show.
Diva: Grapes are funny, too -- when you microwave them.
Fun With Grapes!
http://www.sci.tamucc.edu/~pmichaud/grape/
[Don't Try This At Home ... Or Anywhere Else For That Matter!]
Diva: You can microwave a lot of other substances, as well.
Sparky: Got a few extra CD-ROMs laying around?
CD-ROMs in the Microwave
http://www.hamjudo.com/notes/cdrom.html
[Don't Try This At Home ... Or Anywhere Else For That Matter!]
Diva: This is cool. They vaporized the layer of aluminum on the CD-ROM. A very small lightning storm was created as electrical arcs passed through the aluminum. Paul, what's the weirdest science you've ever performed on Beakman's World?
Paul Zaloom: Our most notorius episode: We constructed a giant nostril, filled it with "Grade A" Hollywood special effects industrial snot.
Sparky: Ewwwww ... that's disgusting!
Diva: ... science isn't pretty ....
Paul Zaloom: ... and then put in some broom bristles to stand in for nose hairs. I wore a hazardous materials suit and actually went up the nose. It was great fun, and every one thinks this was our high point, culturally speaking.
Sparky: What in the world do they construct special effects snot from?
Paul Zaloom: I do not know. But I do know that it cost 700 bucks!
Diva: Per nostril?
Paul Zaloom: No, bi-nostrilly.
Sparky: Hmm. Outta my budget.
Diva: Is there any science so weird that your show producers won't let you perform it?
Paul Zaloom: They won't let us show a nuclear explosion, which is the director, Jay Dubin's, idea of a really funny image. He is a sick human being.
Diva: We did a nuclear explosion in the backyard last week.
Jay Dubin, Director of Beakman's World
http://home.earthlink.net/~jayd1044/PZ.html
Diva: Let's be honest here. As long as we're talking about Weird Science, you have to admit that much of it is about one thing and one thing only: LIVING FOREVER. Which brings us to the delightful possibility of freezing one's head or full body for future rejuvenation. Paul, have you tried any cryonics experiments on your show?
Alcor Life Extension Foundation
http://www.alcor.org/
[Don't Try This At Home ... Or Anywhere Else For That Matter!]
Paul Zaloom: No. But perhaps Jay would like to volunteer?
Diva: It's expensive.
Paul Zaloom: He just said "no thanks," but we have had cryogenics on the show: They froze our salaries.
Diva: The pigs!
Sparky: Now Diva, I assume we're not talking about the kind of head freezing I get from Slurpies?
Diva: I am referring to having your body pumped full of freezing chemicals after you die and then residing like a shrimp on ice until an unspecified day in the future when science will repair the damage to your cells and you can return to life.
Paul Zaloom: Let's all go to Burbank and defrost Walt!
Diva: I've also heard the "Walt Disney Is On Ice" rumor. Do you have any inside info?
Paul Zaloom: It was actually his brother Roy, on ice in the back room of Trader Vics .... You know, in the ice machine.
CryoNet
http://www.c2.org/~kqb/cryonet.html
[Don't Try This At Home ... Or Anywhere Else For That Matter!]
Diva: That might make a nice upcoming episode for Beakman's World.
Akbar & Jeff's Cryonics Hut
http://info.latech.edu/~mike/cryonics1.html
Diva: Alcor, the company that does most of the freezing in this country, defines cryonics as the freezing of legally dead humans. Technically, Sparky, this might include you. Have you checked to see if you are frozen?
Sparky: Well, I'm not legally dead yet, but I'll check with my attorneys. As for frozen, I get that way every time we do one of these shows, Diva.
Diva: Paul, do you think CBS would object if you tried to unthaw a cryonics patient on the show? I mean, it'd be for science, after all.
Paul Zaloom: I'll pitch it to Mr. Westinghouse as soon as I get off line, OK?
Sparky: Kids, don't try this at home ... or anywhere else, for that matter! Please don't throw your pets in the freezer or anything.
Diva: Now, cryonics only will work if we figure out how to repair the cell damage caused by freezing -- as well as the cell damage caused by the cancer or the heart attack or whatever made you legally dead in the first place. And how will we repair the damage?
Tiny robots, of course! They'll zip around from cell to cell, fixing things. We're standing on the brink of an exciting new era in science -- a time when nanotechnology is truly possible.
Nanotechnology
http://www.spiv.com/nrrrd/weird/weifeb1.html
Diva: The concept of nanotechnology -- the idea that we can manipulate matter at its tiniest level to transform garbage into gold and a sow's ear into -- well, into Sparky, if we want -- has very quickly lost its aura of science fiction fantasy. The editors at spiv.com say, "It's pretty definite, Nanotechnology will arrive in our lifetimes."
Paul, would you be willing to manipulate matter onstage?
Paul Zaloom: I think this could be really interesting. Maybe a segment on future tech involving science .... Is it OK I answered that question seriously?
Sparky: Well, just this once.
Diva: No! That violates the spirit of our agreement!
Nanotechnology Magazine
http://planet-hawaii.com/nanozine/WHATNANO.HTM
Diva: I have to say I'm skeptical of nanotech ....
Sparky: Realistically speaking, isn't nanotechnology anything built by Sony? You know, real tiny stuff?
Diva: Sparky, if you could manipulate matter, what changes would you make to the world?
Paul Zaloom: I just saw him manipulate matter: Pizza. Right down the gullet. Boom.
Diva: I'd love to talk about this all day ... but my eyes look a little cloudy, and I'd like to get a diagnosis before the end of the show. Sparky?
Iridology
http://www.ion.com.au/~iridology/
Iridology.html
Diva: What is Iridology and does it hurt? I mean, I know that it means that if you look at someone's irises you can tell if they have ailments in other parts of their bodies. But cosmically, Sparky, it must mean more, no?
Sparky: Let me look deeply into your eyes, and see what the problem is. Honestly, I don't know if I buy this kind of New Age medicine. Just looking into someone's eyes is going to tell you every ailment?!?
Diva: Paul, do you ever deal with New Age medicine on Beakman's World? Herbs? Acupuncture?
Paul Zaloom: Jay and I produced a pilot for ABC called The New Ripley's Believe it or Not. We went to the Museum of Questionable Devices in St. Paul, MN. Very cool place. Full of quackery devices from the old days right up 'til now. Like radium you were supposed to swallow ....
Diva: ... Delicious!
Paul Zaloom: People's jaws fell off.
Diva: ... Attractive!
Sparky: Umm Umm Good!
Paul Zaloom: They even had a phrenology machine. It measures the bumps on your head. That important info can tell you what your prospective career will be. In my case, the bumps said I was going to be a Zeppelin attendant.
Sparky: My smooth cranium tells me that my career is short-lived!
Diva: Well, before we run out of time, let's move on to Parapsychology. Very Weird Science.
Consciousness Research Laboratory
http://eeyore.lv-hrc.nevada.edu/~cogno/index3.html
Diva: I like the premonitions database on this site. I have a premonition that this show is going to inspire a lot of scientists to do important work with Twinkies and other snack foods. Sparky, have you played the Virtual Slot Machine on this site?
Sparky: Yeah, but I always come up a loser. Go figure.
Use of Psychics in Intelligence
http://www.jsasoc.com/~csl/intelligence.html
Paul Zaloom: I wish the IRS would use my own personal psychic to figure out how much I've overpaid them for the last 15 years.
Diva: I have overpaid them about $4,000,000 annually since the 1980s. Just to be safe.
Sparky: Paid what? You mean you're actually supposed to pay them something?
Diva: Only if you earn a salary. So you're OK. Sparky, if you could harness the power of a psychic to tell you anything, what would you learn?
Paul Zaloom: His middle name.
Sparky: I'd try and delve into Paul's mind. It seems a dark and twisted place.
Diva: I would like to know who or what I was in a previous life.
Paul Zaloom: According to my personal psychic, in my last life I was a filament in a three-way light bulb.
Diva: With a bright future. Unfortunately, we're running out of time. It's been a great show, and I'd like to thank Paul Zaloom (and his hair) of Beakman's World for joining us.
Beakman's World
http://www.spe.sony.com/Pictures/tv/beakman/beakman.html
Paul Zaloom: Thanks.
Sparky: I'd also like to thank Jay Dubin, the director of Beakman's World, for joining us here in our studios.
Diva: Thanks, Jay!
Paul Zaloom: Yeah. Thanks, Jay. Now go sit in the car.
Diva: And thanks, Madonna, for being in the audience.
Sparky: A final word of warning to our audience members: DO NOT try any of these Weird Science experiments yourself! You could end up damaging yourself even further, and we can't afford to have our audience numbers drop any lower.
Be sure to come back next Friday afternoon at 4 p.m. Eastern Time, 1 p.m. Pacific, when the Digital Diva and I tour sites dealing with ENCRYPTION AND PRIVACY ON THE NET. We'll be recording e-mail addresses and creating secret files on everyone who logs on.
'Til then, this is Sparky, for the Diva, saying "So Long!" and "Surf Safely!"
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