NEW WEEKLY, BUT SOMETIME AROUND THE LAST TOUR 1994 TEN THINGS YOU'VE NEVER WANTED TO ASK THE DOUG ANTHONY ALLSTARS 1. Which one of you is the best lover ? Tim : Are you auditioning ? 2. Who is your favourite Royal ? Tim : I'm a big fan of the Norwegian Royal family - I think they should be made our Royals, simply because they have sex in spa baths and not in the back of Range Rovers. 3. Which of you is the funniest ? Paul : Richard is. He's the laugh of the carnival when he gets going. 4. Are you really in love with Liz Hayes ? Tim : Yes. It's a frightening confession, but we're all in love with Liz. I think she's a truly dynamic and sensual creature. A lot of the time people ask which one of us Liz is eventually going to marry. But none of us could marry Liz she's too much woman for all three of us and she's too much of a lady for scum like us. 5. What kind of cars do you drive All : None. We don't have drivers' licences. 6. Tell us about the diet and fitness regimes you follow. Paul : Coca-Cola. 7. Do you have an opinion about bob Hawke's memoirs ? Paul : I think Bob was a great statesman - for about 10 minutes. I think he's fallen apart completely. It's a bit too recent for the memoirs to be fully realised. He should have had a bit more time to reflect on them - about 300 years - then put them in a time capsule on top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. 8. Who are your favourite comedians ? Paul : I like Mary Tyler Moore and Benny Hill. 9. What's your opinion on Lisa Marie Presley and Michael Jackson's wedding ? Paul : I think it's fantastic. They're going to give birth to maybe the most wonderfully gifted children the world has ever seen. 10. Is Tim really gay ? Paul : Off and on. He's bisexual really, I think it's fashionable at the moment. Me? I'm as bent as a hat pin, have been for years.