A PLACE IN MY HEART

By: Heidi

~ Part One ~

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Angel, they belong to a man I like to call Joss. The song lyrics are from the song "A Place in My Heart" by Social Distortion, which means that they belong to them and not me.

Author's Note: In my story the song lyrics are represented by using ** before and after them. My story also takes place about 2 years after Angel lost his soul. This is a very short angsty piece about Buffy and Angel. All feedback is welcome and desperately wanted. Enjoy!

It's been 2 years now since that fateful night that I lost my soul, and it's been 2 weeks since I got it back. Nothing is the same and it never will be again. Buffy is gone, killed by the same demon that plagued my body and soul. I have finally come to realize that she isn't coming back. It's taken me nearly a month to get through the shock of learning about all that has happened and all that I have done. But I have to be honest with myself, I haven't even begun to deal with the fact that I will never hold my one true love in my arms again or share my deepest thoughts and feelings with her. Maybe one day I will be able to face the fact that the woman I loved died by my own hands, and maybe one day I'll be able to face the fact that she died willingly, no longer able live with the pain that I caused her, and maybe one day if I'm lucky enough I'll be able to wake up and realize that it was the demon that dwelt inside of me that made me do the things I did and then maybe, just maybe, the unbearable guilt that I hold deep within will lessen, maybe.... but until then I find myself picturing her in my mind, untouched by the cruelest lessons that life could ever give to such a perfect and beautiful person.
**
I saw her today,
Oh God I miss her smile.
A pleasant memory
Of things in life worth while.

We used to walk and we used to talk
We used to laugh and we used to cry
And there will always be a place in my heart for her.
**

They told me that she loved me until the end. That even as she drew her last breath she was proclaiming her undying love for me. She was amazing you know, that even through all she had suffered from me she still found it in her heart to love me. That's how I go on, I keep her in my heart because I know she is a part of me and always will be. We are like two souls with a single thought and two hearts that beat as one.

I often find myself standing in the alley where we first met. Just standing and thinking and remembering. Remembering all that we shared and thinking about all that we could have. She was my Buffy. The one great love that if your blessed enough, you find once in a life time. She was the entire sum of my existence, and the only person that ever truly knew me and loved me for me.

**
I thought of her today,
Of years together spent.
A pleasant memory
Of places that we went.

We used to walk and we used to talk
We used to laugh and we used to cry
And there will always be a place in my heart for her.
**

I will miss you dearly my beloved Buffy, may you truly find peace where ever you are.

The End