Quatre stood with the nervous groom, Duo and Desiree.

"Think your going to make it? you look a little pale." Quatre asked Wufei.

"Of course. I've done it before. There's nothing to it." he said with a weak smile.

"Your nervous." Duo said point blankly.

"No, I'm not." Wufei protested.

Duo laughed. "Oh yes you are. You look like your ready to pass out. But don't worry. THIS is nothing. Wait til your first little one comes." Duo finished with a smile.

"I'm not having any kids." Wufei said disgusted.

"Then you shouldn't be here man! That's what I said and I've got three! Two came in one package!" Duo said giving Wufei a slap on the back.

"That's YOUR problem." Wufei hissed.

"And according to Hilde, it's YOUR fault too!" Desiree said with a giggle.

"Hey! She helped!" Duo said defensively.

Duo looked at Quatre who was wide eyed and turning a steady shade of crimson. "Oh man!" Duo said with a chuckle, "YOUR next you know."

Quatre's head swung around and he looked at the brown haired pilot wide eyed, then at Desiree when she started giggling. He turned his back to them and looked toward the door. he smiled widely when he saw who came through the door.

"Trowa! He finally made it!" Quatre excused himself and started making his way through the growing crowd. The others, except Desiree followed.

Desiree looked ahead gasping, and feeling a panic set in. She stopped herself from dropping her bridesmaid bouquet when she put her hand to her mouth. Breathless she whispered," Triton."

~~~~*~~~~

The wedding went on without a hitch, except for Duo and Hilde's daughter and Heero and Relena's son trying to beat the tar out of one another during the ceremony. Now at the reception, the pilots gathered around the groom with raised eyebrows and peculiar looks, watching him intently. Wufei was almost teary eyed.

"There she is. Isn't she perfect? Every detail exactly proportioned just right. Not too much or too little. EVERY detail wonderful and formed just so." he stepped to his side and bent over, putting his head on his arms that were crossed on the table. He stared on dreamy eyed. "It can't get any better. It's going to be wonderful. And she's mine-- all mine." A tingly sensation went down his spine as he thought of it. A smile etched his features. "I'll never forget her. I'll remember her as long as I live."

The others continued to look on wide eyed. Trowa shook his head. 'He's totally gone... he's nuts.'

"It's just SO right. So JUSTIFIED... so..." He put his fingers to his lips and made a kissing motion. "It's perfect. Absolutely perfect."

"Are you going to eat this thing or am I?" Duo exclaimed breaking Wufei out of his revelry.

"Yeah, it's a sandwich... not the Holy Grail." Quatre said looking at Wufei as if he was insane.

Wufei looked at the two annoyed, picked up his sandwich, and left to go back to the wedding table. 'There's just no justice in the world for the perfect sandwich'.

"Oh GOD! That guy has one OVERLY developed sense of justice!" Duo said with a wild gesturing of his hands.

"You'd think he was talking about Sally with the way he was going on." Quatre replied.

"PLEASE DON'T go there!" Duo said holding his hands up in a stopping motion. "I mean, have YOU ever heard him talk about her? He's even WORSE about it than he was just now! Before we left for Quatre's estate last night, Desiree was on the verge of killing him when he started!"

"Well it just goes to show how much he's in love with her." Trowa said quietly.

The rest all looked at him as if he was some sentimental poet. Quatre smiled shortly after. He realized Desiree was his main topic of conversation anymore. Could he be in love with her? He over at Wufei and Sally as they stole a kiss when they thought no one was looking.

"They look adorable together." quatre said his thought aloud.

He was given the weird glances next. "Speaking of adorable..." Duo pointed ahead to Desiree who was holding Duo's daughter Alisa in her arms, "isn't she beautiful?"

"Which one?" Heero asked not sure if he meant Alisa or Desiree.

Duo shrugged. "Both I guess. I know Alisa is, what do you think? Isn't my SISTER beautiful?"

"yeah." Trowa and Quatre answered in one voice. They exchanged small smiles with each other then looked at Duo.

"Glad you agree with me." Duo said with raised eyebrows in Trowa's direction. He turned to Heero. "what about you Mr. Yuy?"

Heero eyed him then looked at Desiree as she put Alisa down who started to run to Duo. "She's attractive," Heero said when Alisa stopped in front of her father and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Ready for cake?" Duo asked her. She nodded with a smile. "Okay... up we go!" he said cheerily as he took her in his arms and carried her off.

"Have you met Desiree yet Trowa?" Quatre asked with a smile.

"Well actually..."

"Come on!" Quatre said not really hearing Trowa begin to answer him.

They crossed the room to where Desiree had found a seat. She looked up with a smile then it turned to a wide eyed look when she saw Trowa. She stared at Trowa for a long moment then looked at her husband. Quatre noticed it, his brow furrowing as he looked in her eyes.'Have they met before? She looks pale, scared, and worried... and the pain I thought was leaving her slowly is there.'he looked at Trowa. The same look was in his eyes and face. Then the expression disappeared from both of their faces.

Quatre shook it off. Tentatively he spoke, "Desiree this is Trowa Barton, my best friend. Trowa, my wife Desiree."

He saw a weak smile come to his wife's lips as she stood, meeting only up to Trowa's chest. She extended a hand to him. "Trowa."

"Desiree." Trowa acknowledged in return, a hint of-- something in his voice.

"Umm... if you'll excuse me, I need to see if Relena needs my help with anything." Desiree said formally and promptly left the two.

Quatre looked up at Trowa. His head was downcast, his eyes shut tight. He looked down at his hands- they were clenched into tight fists.

"Have you met before?" Quatre asked him softly.

Trowa opened his eyes and looked at the blond with eyes that said he did and told the missing part of Desiree's former love-- it told Quatre his name. It was Trowa, his best friend. No wonder he had stayed away. He felt relieved at knowing who it was. Anger for what forced pain on his wife and best friend, and somewhere inside betrayed.

"Yes, we've met." Trowa said softly. He saw the look in the Arabian's eyes. The pain. 'He knows.'

Quatre nodded. He looked around and caught Duo trying to get his attention. His expression was somber.

"I think Duo needs to tell us something."Quatre said and began to walk to him. Trowa followed a few steps behind.

When they finally stood in front of the man with the trademark braid, he pulled them back into a room away from the reception. Inside Heero waited with Rashid and Relena.

"What is it?" Quatre asked when he saw Relena look up at him gloomily then turn away.

"I think you'll need to sit down for what I'm about to tell you." Relena stated looking back up at Quatre.

Quatre took a seat with the feeling of a student being sent to the principal's office.

"Quatre, we've found out finally how Desiree's foster parents died." Relena stated then looked at her husband.

He nodded and took over. "we've just received a fax with the complete report. You know her parents died in the Gundam Wars...?"

"Heero, just tell me." Quatre broke in.

"As you wish." Heero took a deep breath before telling his news. "They were victims of a massive explosion of a Colony." Heero looked down surprisingly dejected, then back up hesitantly. "The Colony was destroyed by a single Gundam."

"Oh my God!" Quatre exclaimed putting his hands to his face. His eyes began to shimmer with tears. "I killed..." he swallowed down the convulsive catching of breath while he tried to hide his weeping. "I killed her parents."

"Yes Quatre. They were on a routine trip to the Colony. Desiree always stayed behind with a friend because she hated transports." Relena said trying to hide the emotion from her voice. She couldn't bear to look Quatre in the face. It registered too much pain.

They all stayed silent for several minutes until Heero said," Come on, he needs some time alone."

When the door closed again, Quatre let loose on his tears. He leaned forward banging his fists on the couch's armrest, then buried his face in his arms. he jumped when he felt a soft touch on his back.

"It wasn't you who killed them." He heard Trowa say in back of him.

Quatre spun around in frustrated anger, ready to lash out at anything. "YES! Yes it was!" he saw in his mind the Colony blow up before him, and remembered what had driven him to it. "I was desperate with grief. I..."

"THAT was another you. You didn't know what you were doing. Your father's death increased the zero system's hold on your mind. Quatre... they were simply in the wrong place at the right time." Trowa tried to reason.

"But THAT doesn't change anything! I killed so MANY people with that one act. How am I going to tell her? HOW Trowa? How?" Quatre asked burying his face in his arms again.

Trowa thought for a moment. "You won't have to."

Quatre looked up at him through blurry eyes. "How can I NOT? I can't keep this from her."

"I'll tell her."

Quatre looked away.

"I'll explain things to her. What caused it to happen. Let me tell her." Trowa pleaded laying a hand on Quatre's shoulder.

Quatre nodded and gave into another wave of tears.

~~~~*~~~~

Trowa, Desiree and Quatre sat silently around the breakfast table. Every now and then Quatre would notice an uncomfortable look would pass between Trowa and Desiree. He had to keep himself from weeping. His best friend was his wife's lost love,and he, Quatre Raberera Winner was the murderer of Desiree's parents. He saw another uncomfortable look pass between the two, then saw Desiree push her plate away.

"I'm done. Excuse me." she said standing, and left the room in a noticeable hurry.

"So am I." Trowa looked at Quatre. "I'm going to tell her now."

Trowa stood, exchanged a look of dread with Quatre and left to find Desiree. Quatre put his hands together and bowed his head in silent prayer. He loved her. He knew it now, but all he wanted-- could even hope for now was her forgiveness. Surely, he could never have achieve her love now in return.

~~~~*~~~~

"I've told her." Trowa announced to Quatre in his study.

Quatre looked up with worried eyes. "What did she say?

Trowa shifted and past a moment in thought. " She didn't say anything, she just slapped me, then collapsed in tears." He didn't think he should tell him the rest. Tell him how he worded it. That it was in his arms she collapsed in wails and spasms of grief. That he held her for a long time to comfort her. Quatre was upset as it was. Though it was innocent, it could give the wrong impression.

"She slapped YOU?" Quatre asked feeling a weight added to the one he had felt in his stomach already. 'She hates me. She'll never forgive me.'

Trowa stood motionless, unknowing as to what to do. Both jumped when the doors flew open and Desiree came in, eyes red from crying and filled with fire. She looked at Trowa through narrowed eyes as she approached the desk Quatre sat at. They locked eyes as Quatre stood.

"I'm sorry." he said simply. He didn't know what else he could say.

"Why didn't YOU tell me before now?" Desiree demanded.

"I just found out how they died last night. I didn't know until then. I would have told you." Quatre said bowing his head, closing his eyes. tears were threatening him again.

"I see." She turned to leave. Quatre came around the desk and caught her arm.

"Desiree, please I... I can never forgive myself for taking so many lives, especially your parents. Please..." He couldn't fight the tears anymore.

"What?" Desiree asked in bewilderment.

"I can never excuse myself for destroying that Colony Desiree..." Quatre fell to his knees now feeling weak, in sobs and spasms.

Desiree looked up at Trowa her own eyes growing noticeably misty. "But you told me..." A tear escaped her eye and trickled down her cheek. " You made me believe... why?" she asked barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry." Trowa said his face devoid of emotion. Inside he was aching. He never knew anything could be as painful as this thing called love. Love for a friend... love for a woman.

Desiree looked down at the shivering form bowed below her in tears-- too upset to know what was going on. He looked up at her with heart broken eyes. " I don't even have the right to ask it... but can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"

Her eyes became an ocean depth of torture at the memories she now recalled. Memories of her parents, of her time with Triton as she knew him, then Quatre this... this innocent killer.

Quatre bowed his head from her gaze once more. "I'm so sorry." His frame became rocked with even far more violent spasms of sorrow. The kind that could make one sick.

She realized he truly was sorry. she always imagined the person responsible for her parents demise to be cold blooded. Unashamed for the pain he caused. Her eyes softened as she slowly-- but almost took it away-- reached a hand out to lay on his golden crown. She was sobbing her own tears as she ran her fingers through his hair and spoke. "Yes, I forgive you."

A sound that could have been a wail or a laugh came from Quatre's throat as he flew forward capturing her petite frame around the waist in his arms. He cried hard into her shirt's material as he squeezed her tighter, not wanting to let go. He felt her arm wrap around his shoulders and the other one begin to stroke his hair. She looked up at Trowa whose expression was one of heart broken pain and sympathy. She pulled the man in her arms still closer as she felt his hot breath against her body, even through the clothing she wore.

"I need to be alone." she said, her voice absent of feeling.

She felt Quatre pull away. He stood up and looked at her with red rimmed, turquoise eyes.

"I understand."

he walked away with an air of fragility. He sat down at his desk and swung his chair around so no one could see anymore tears he would shed.

~~~~*~~~~

Triton stopped when he saw her. She was seated. As he drew closer he saw she was more or less laid down on the bench in the gardens, crying her heart out. He stepped forward, and stepped on a twig announcing his arrival. She looked up at him with hurt violety- blue eyes. He took a breath and crossed the rest of the way to stand in front of her. For several seconds they only stared at each other.

"Why?" she burst out. "Why did you tell me YOU were the one who destroyed the Colony? Why did you want me to believe YOU killed my parents?"

He stared in her eyes for several more seconds not knowing how to answer her. She stood up and stepped closer to him.

"Tell me." she whispered. When he still remained speechless she shot forward grabbing both sides of his jacket and gave him a slight shake. "TELL ME!"

"I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want you to hate him. He's your husband. He... CARES for you." Triton said his face void of emotion, his voice thick with it.

"You didn't think I'd forgive him?" Desiree asked as a tear streamed down her cheek.

"I wasn't sure. I know how much you loved them. How much they meant to you. I remembered how much hate was in your voice when you spoke of their deaths and when you spoke of wanting to find out who had done it. I know until we met... until things with Quatre started that they were all you ever thought you would care about and needed." Triton raised a hand and wiped a tear away. "I thought it would be easier that way."

"Easier? To think that the man I fell in love with and promised to marry THIS time- THIS year was my parents murderer, and had been lying to me for over 2 years! WHAT would be easier?"

"For you to fallen love with him if you thought it was me. Do you? Do you truly forgive him Desiree?" Triton asked his heart pleading to whatever God there was that she did.

"Yes, you know I never lie Triton. Or is it Trowa? WHO ARE YOU?" she yelled. "Which one is your name? Who did I fall in love with?"

"I told you my real name. You fell in love with me. The REAL me. I never held back on you. Other than Quatre you were the only one to know the real me." Triton said fighting emotion from showing and being heard.

She nodded, her tears subsided by anger. "Then tell me WHY my parents died. Why he did it." Her eyes grew cool.

"Because he was sick with grief. the Colony he came from-- THIS Colony, denounced his father's leadership and led him to his death. Quatre saw it happen. he came back in a Mobile Suit with a system labeled 'zero'. It eliminates all obstacles. It tells you who your enemies are... and makes a pilot not even fear his own death, so victory over the enemy will be assured. It ALTERS one's thoughts." Triton tried to explain, memories of his own zero experience surfacing. In voluntarily he shuddered.

"So what he did was go insane for a time." she said simply. "I didn't know about his father. He hardly ever talks about him."

 Part 11

"I understand his reasoning now. The Colonies became his enemy. My parents were simply in the wrong place at the..." she choked on a lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. "I probably would have blew up a Colony too," she said harshly. "But WHY did you have to say YOU did it? Why not Heero or Wufei-- even Duo?" Her eyes began to shine with new tears. "WHY did you have to say it was YOU? How can that make things easier for me and Quatre? Your his best friend! And I... HOW?" she shrieked through an effort to control angry, hurt tears and emotions.

Weakened by the effort, extremely violent sobs shook through her body as she fell forward against his chest. Slowly, he embraced her, feeling his own bottled up grief begin to climax. "Because I also thought that if you hated me, it'd be easier to walk away from you now."

A gasp came from the woman he held in his arms. He had wanted to hold her for so long, hold her close, but knew he could not, that it hurt. He wanted to hold her the way he used to, tight as a lover would his dearest. She was clinging to him so much, and he felt so weak. He pulled her tighter, closer, practically unwittingly as he lost the battle of not giving into holding her as he desired. He shut his eyes tight as she responded in kind. After several moments a wail came from her as pushed him away.

"We can't do this." she said with pain stricken eyes.

He grabbed her hand. "I can't control what my heart tells me to do. Tell me you want me to walk away now or else I fear I never will."

Inside his heart screamed. His mind, his logic, his loyalty to Quatre and respect for this woman whom he held dear's beliefs racing and warring with his emotions and mind. His mind wanted her to say it, his heart begged her not to.

Her heart was being stabbed over and over. 'Why did I ever have to love him? I've already betrayed Quatre by just giving Triton just one moment... Why did it have to be him?' In a violent explosion of tears and emotion she shook her head to try and clear it, gazed at Triton through blurry eyes filled with longing and heartbreak, then turned around and ran as far away from him as she could.

~~~~*~~~~

As Quatre looked down at the two in the gardens from his library window, he felt heartbroken. he watched as she abruptly pulled away from Triton's embrace and say something. He saw her hand in his when he grabbed it, lost in the moment, and he said something in return. She shook her head, gave him one last look and in a new fit of tears flee from Trowa out of view.

'She still loves him. He still loves her. Now I know why it was hard for me to even talk him into coming to Wufei's wedding. he wanted to stay away... I wonder if it was best when I hadn't known.'

"Quatre?" he heard Relena ask in back of him.

He had not even heard her come in. He turned to look at her. She came up to the window and looked out. A flash of what looked like pain crossed her features as she immediately looked away. Then he realized what she had been trying to tell him on his wedding day.

"How long have you known?" he asked softly.

"A month before she came to you. I tried to intervene with the marriage proceedings as soon as I found out. I tried to tell you." Relena looked at him briefly then back outside. "I tried."

"I know." Quatre choked on his own voice. "Why did they choose her if they knew she was in love with Trowa? Why?" Quatre asked looking out the window seeing Trowa sit down on the bench, lean forward and he saw a sight that frightened and hurt him more, a shiver run through the turned away body. He was crying-- crying alone.

"the Council has no respect or caring for people's hearts and emotions... they only see what is for the better good of the people. They knew, despite her own feelings, once she took her vows unto you she would never break them. Never." Relena said as she watched Trowa as well.

"This marriage- thanks to them- has caused nothing but pain and suffering. I can't stand to see either of them hurt so..." Quatre said with harshness and grief.

Relena turned to him. "Trowa didn't want to hurt you with this. He wanted to stay out of the picture long enough for the fires that burned between them to die. However, you are like a brother to him. The last thing he ever wanted was to cause you grief." She laid a hand on Quatre's shoulder.

"he knew you would fall in love with her, and given time she would return your love. He wanted to stay away long enough for at least that much to happen. So when he did come his presence wouldn't interfere." She looked down with a sigh. "He also knew how much his staying away hurt you. The last time, he said, when you asked him to come to Wufei's wedding, your tone of voice made him want to cry. He couldn't stand to hurt you anymore. He could hear you crying the last time over the phone.

"So he thought maybe, despite his own feelings... he hoped her heart would have over the past year turned to you. Now with all the newest information that came out about her parents, the hiatus of your marriage itself, and now you finally knowing the truth about Desiree and Trowa, his coming made it all start turning upside down. He was going to marry her Quatre." She saw Quatre's face become even more dejected.

"I didn't know that." he said softly. He shut his eyes when he saw Trowa below collapse to his knees in tears.

Relena's face became more solemn. She nodded.

"I've taken everything she ever loved away from her." he said as he felt a tear slide down his cheek. "How can she have forgiven me?"

"No. You didn't take everything she loved away." Relena said putting both hands on his shoulders. "You gave her back Duo. You loved her, and was there for her when she cried-- when she needed someone the most. It is true that she is still IN love with Trowa... but she does love you. That is why she could forgive you."

Quatre staggered for a moment, then looked up at her with such emotion it almost scared her. She went back to the window and watched Trowa. "Two men love the same woman. She loves one, but wants to love the other. Each one knows silently in his or her heart one man has to win and the other will lose. Both men knowing who the victor will be and the defeated. In a sense you have thus engaged in an intricate dance of hearts. The beat all three of you dance to keeps changing. One time it is slow, seductive, incising-- others, wild and unrelentless, forcing you to bump into each other on the floor. One partner, knowing he is spent tries to dance further away and out of sight, yet seeing the second is in need, is forced to cut in, only to be pushed away by both partners a second later."

Through eyes that spoke determination, and a voice that spoke truth she continued," He IS your best friend Quatre. He isn't trying to take her back because he knows, despite how it hurts- she's your. He wouldn't have told her..." Relena stopped abruptly.

"What did he tell her?" Quatre asked alarmed.

"He told her HE was the one who destroyed the Colony." Relena looked away. Trowa had come to her and told her what he had said to Desiree.

"WHAT? Why?" Quatre asked unbelievably.

"One could say it was one last desperate act of a man in love with his best friend's wife... he wanted to... kill her love for him." Relena said bitterly. "It was all he knew ho could do. He can see that you love her, and he knows he has to come out of this alone."

Quatre looked up at the ceiling with an exasperated intake of air, then back out the window, and shut his eyes tight. All this pain. All this weaving in and out of situations- problems. "Even after he told her that.. she still loves him..." he said quietly.

"Yes, love forgives all things." Relena said looking down then back up at him. "Which is why she also has forgiven you."

"I can't bear to see her hurt anymore!" Quatre blurted out.

Relena's brow creased. What was he saying?

"I'm going to let her go. It's the only way. It's the only thing I know to do. Your right this is a dance of hearts. Only I have to got to bring it to an end." Quatre looked at her with heartbroken yet determined eyes, and turned to leave.

"Quatre!" Relena called. "Why? Don't you...?"

"I have to. I love her too much, and I don't want her to grow to hate me-- if she hasn't already. I have to let her go." he said and left the room.

"He doesn't understand, does he?" Relena said to herself. "She took a vow to him. Even in light of this... it's almost impossible to believe that she'll break it. Don't you understand? She won't leave you Quatre- even for love."

~~~~*~~~~

Somber, Quatre sat at his desk in his personal study. He was about to make one of the most painful decisions he had ever made in his life.

"Master Quatre? Trowa is here to see you at your request." one of the servants informed at the doorway.

He nodded. Quatre forced himself to gulp down the copper taste coming into his mouth that made him want to cry. He looked up at the doorway as Trowa's lean figure stepped into the study.

"You wanted to see me?" Trowa replied his face expressionless, his eyes pained.

"Yes, please come in and sit down." Quatre said gesturing to a seat while he found his voice again, shaky as it was.

Trowa crossed the room and sat in the seat farthest away from Quatre.

"As you probably have guessed, I know about..." he looked down at his wooden desk. He couldn't look into the eyes of his friend. They would mirror a pain he was now going to feel acutely. He forced himself to look at him finally, despite it."... you and Desiree. As well as what you told her about the Colony's destruction."

"Quatre...I ...we..." Trowa stammered and for the first time in a long while Quatre saw up close unmasked emotion creep over Trowa's face as he looked away.

Quatre held up a silencing hand. "You don't need to explain. You met before the... decision... and I know why you told her what you did." Quatre turned away feeling tears threatening to surface. He swung his chair around to look out the windows. as long as Trowa didn't see how much this would hurt, he could do this. "She loved you." Quatre said as he felt a tear break free from his guilded, inner prison that until recently, kept his tears locked within. "She STILL loves you. And I..." Quatre stopped to gather the strength to continue,"... I want her to be happy. She isn't happy with me, and for that reason I want you to go to her tonight and take her with you. I'll divorce her... set her free so she can be with you." Quatre finished as he bowed his head and let a sob rock through his small body. Over the years he had grown tall but his body frame remained small.

He heard Trowa move behind him, and moments later felt his hand on his shoulder. "You love her..." Trowa paused as if he was afraid of the answer, even though he already knew it, "don't you?"

Quatre's bent head came up, but he still did not look up at Trowa. He didn't answer him.

"Quatre, I wish none of this had happened. I now she'll be upset when she finds out she has hurt you. I'm..." he stopped, removing his hand from Quatre's shoulder. He turned to look at the scenery below. "... sorry we've hurt you. I shouldn't have come here."

"I asked you to come." Quatre pointed out finally finding his voice.

"I know." Trowa bowed his head. "But I still shouldn't have."

"I'm sorry too." Quatre said in a gentle voice.

Trowa met red rimmed eyes. "That I came?"

"No, for causing either of you pain." Quatre stood. His tears gone, but the pain still there. He stepped forward, and looked down at the Colony. "I want the pain to end now. Please Trowa... go to to her. I set her free from this." Quatre said masking every raging emotion within.

He felt like a master setting a slave free. But wasn't that what she felt like? A slave? The thought turned his stomach. He was angry, sad, relieved... empty. But not one of his mixed emotions registered joy. They couldn't, his heart was breaking.

"Quatre..." Trowa began,

"Trowa! PLEASE JUST GO!" Quatre snapped as he closed his eyes tight.

Trowa took a step back. Quatre looked up at him again. Tears fell down the Arabian's cheeks in a steady stream.

"Trowa just go..." he whispered.

A pained, worried look came upon Trowa's face, but was quickly swept away with the look Quatre was familiar with- no expression. Trowa turned and walked across the room. when he came to the door, he stopped and turned to look at hte hunched over, pain stricken man at the windows. he stared intently at the Colony below him.

"By the way, the name is Triton... and please don't jump."

Quatre turned around shocked at the mere suggestion, but Trowa, or rather Triton was gone. Then with a flicker of horror he realized that he HAD felt like jumping to end the agony of his heart.

~~~~*~~~~

"Come." Desiree answered the knock on her door as she sat in her unlit bedroom looking out the window over the night shrouded gardens.

She heard someone open the door, close it, then cross the room to stand behind her.

"I've spoken to Quatre." she heard Triton's voice say behind her.

desiree swung around to look up at him, then she quickly looked away. She couldn't bear to look at him anymore. It was wrong. She belonged to another. Another who in all her heart she was starting to look at with different eyes. One she was beginning to admire and care for beyond their established friendship. But yet, she still loved another man. she had made a vow of love to both. Only the one that she had to obey above the other was the one that hurt the most to do so. But it was a vow to God that she made that she would love Quatre, hence she must obey. was it possible to be in love with two men at once? It was immoral to love Triton... immoral.

"Quatre told me to take you with me tonight." triton said after a few minutes.

She looked up shocked. "WHAT?"

"He says he will not let you stay with him if you are unhappy. If you want to be with me... if your heart is with me. He says he'll divorce you to be with me." Triton said in a wave of sentences, that not even he could believe what he was saying.

"But what about the Alliance? the things we were married for?" she asked standing.

"I don't know. He doesn't seem too worried about it." Triton whose face betrayed none of his emotions, but his eyes a window to the torn pain, worry, and in a selfish way happiness.

"I don't believe it. " Desiree said turning, walking away, and stopping in front of her four post bed. She grabbed one post, hung her head and put a hand to her forehead.

Triton wasn't sure what to say or do as he watched her.

"Desiree, he wants you to be happy..." Triton began to explain when she cut him off.

"Even at a cost to himself?" Desiree said her voice clearly breaking.

"Yes... I don't agree with it either. I hate to see him this way, but he all but ordered me to do as he bid." Triton said remembering the pain in Quatre's eyes. It was a look he wished he never had seen.

"He's in love with me." she said as she gripped the post with her other hand and bent forehead on it crying.

"Yes." Triton confirmed crossing the room to meet her.

"Now, after all this time, would you do the same thing if you were him?" Desiree asked, her head coming up still turned away.

Triton looked down, then around him, finally his gaze settled on her turned back. Would he? Again? The idea of it hurt him more than any wound he had ever recieved. There was a time when he might have... when in a sense he did, but now that things were the way they were, he couldn't even imagine it. It hurt too much to think of it.

"I don't think I would." he said honestly.

She nodded. "I can't go Triton."

Somehow he knew she would say that. He knew of her unconditional loyalty. She took a vow not unto him but to Quatre and God. She would not break it.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" she asked bitterly.

"There nothing to say." Triton replied hanging his head shutting his eyes tight.

It hurt. It hurt so much. Yet, not in a way he thought it would. The two had lost something in their year apart... or even in that one lie he told her only hours before. Their loved had cooled off in someway.

"Don't you want to know why?" Desiree asked with a hint of harshness.

"I know why. You made a vow to him. You would never go back on it." Triton said.

Tears were tugging at him to be freed as an unmerciless knife began stabbing at his heart over and over. He loved her. They could, if they were together again, gain back whatever it was they had lost. He would always love her.. deep down he knew a part of him always would.

"Yes, partly." she said turning and meeting his gaze.Her eyes were almost cruel despite the pain he knew she also felt. "But I know there was a time when you would have done the same thing as Quatre, if I were in love with him and not you. Because you couldn't bear to see me in pain. and vice versa. I would have done the same for you if you were in love with someone else. There was a time, wasn't there?"

"Yes, there was a time when I would have." Triton stated realizing what she was getting at. They loved each other, but not enough anymore to continue. His heart gave out a wail at the realization.

"And I you. But the other reason is..." She turned away. "... he loves me more than you do. His pain would haunt me for my whole life with that knowledge. Triton... I love you, but I don't think I'm IN love with you as much as I was, and you are not as much in love with me as you once were. We've lost that somewhere. I believe I keep your heart and your mine by a vow we made...one that is no longer void. For that reason I can not turn away from the one who does love me... the one who is IN love with me so much. I can not hurt him this way. THIS much. I would never forgive myself. It would destroy me. I know the pain, as do you that Quatre would experience... if Quatre isn't careful it would destroy him. Because I know when I left you that is what almost happened to me.

"Therefore I have to let you go. It is I who must set you free Triton, and believe me when I say it hurts... almost more than I can stand. The vow we made to one another is no longer relevant, no longer valid. It is wrong. You stay because we are one in the same with our loyalty, you will not release me until I release you. But as we both know the vows I made to Quatre cancels out any we had made before." She began to cry again. "In my heart I'll always have an affection for you, but I can not go with you... not now."

Triton nodded his agreement. Everything she had said was true. She had said all of it for them both.

"Then I guess there's only one thing left to say." he said meeting her gaze with eyes that he could feel were beginning to become red.

She nodded. "Good bye."

"Yes." he whispered.

Before he could stop himself he grabbed her by the shoulders and embraced her tightly. She wrapped her arms around him seconds later, then both pulled away at almost the same instant. Triton turned and walked to the door, then turned back to her exchanging one last look through misty eyes.

"Good bye Desiree. Please tell Quatre that I won't be here for any of his parties for awhile yet."

She nodded and watched with tear filled eyes the door close behind him, and on that portion of her life, opening a new chapter; one that she will not hold back on anymore, Stepping over to an intercom she had near her bed, she pressed the button to hear Rashid's voice answer.

"Yes Mistress Desiree?"

"Can you ready a car? I need to go... shopping."

"Where?" Rashid asked obviously confused. Surely, she had everything she needed.

"The... well I'll let the driver know when he's ready." she answered.

"I'll let Master Quatre know your going out." Rashid said.

"NO!! Don't tell him anything. This is a surprise for him." she said vaguely.

"I see..." Rashid answered obviously bewildered. "As you wish."

Desiree sat down on her bed and glanced at the photo on her bedside. Their wedding photo.

"Yes, Quatre, for you."

~~~~*~~~~

 Part 12

He has piled himself full of work for hours now. Now all he could do was done. He couldn't even dust his study now. Quatre couldn't avoid the thoughts... the PAIN anymore. He drew in a deep breath. Her scent was in the air. He had come to find it comforting, but now it made it feel like his heart was being tore out of his chest and trampled on. He hit the button on his intercom.

"Rashis has Trowa... Triton left?" he asked trying to hide the pain in his voice.

"Yes over two hours ago."

"Thank you." Quatre said in a near whisper.

She was gone now. She was now going to be happy. Shouldn't he be feeling somewhat happy as well? He'll never have to worry that she would continue hating him. Even though she never said she did. In a way, in the end she seemed to begin to look at him as more than a friend. But now he'll never know until the next party or ball.

He hungered to see her again. Just a glimpse. Something. He rose from his desk and silently willed himself to his study door, down the halls, and to his room. Without turning on a light, he took off his clothes and not even thinking about taking a shower, climbed into bed only clad in his boxers. He stared at his ceiling for a couple of minutes. The weight he felt on his heart becoming heavier. He turned on his side, out on the stand, even in the dim light he saw the copy he had of their wedding photo. He could see HER. Choking down a sob, he rolled over on his side, eyes closed, tears beginning to fall from his eyes.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a soft touch on his cheek wiping the tear away. In a fluid movement, he rolled over, reached down and grabbed the dagger he kept between his springs and mattress, then swung around, knife held his knife at ready. He stopped abruptly when he heard a female screech and saw the face staring wide eyed beneath him.

"Desiree?" he whispered in disbelief.

She eyed the dagger he held looming over her unknowingly at the moment. He looked up at it then draped it down the side of the bed to the floor. His brow creased in confusion. He put a hand to her cheek. Was she real? Was he dreaming? He needed to touch her to be sure. When he felt the contact with her soft cheek he felt like crying again.

"I thought you were gone. I thought you left with Trowa."

His head was swimming. She was here. She didn't go. This can't be real. It can't be.

"Is that any reason to try and kill me in our bed." she asked sarcastically.

"Our bed?" Quatre asked. What was she saying?

"Yes, our bed. I've been so wrong Quatre, so very wrong. Can you forgive me?" she asked raising a hand to his cheek.

"For what?" Quatre asked. His mind was in a whirl. Her touch set him on fire... a fire that filled him with joy.

"For not realizing what YOU were going through. For not telling you the things I should have, For... hurting you." she said in a mixture of humiliation and pleading.

Quatre stared down at her as if she were a vision. He brushed his lips on her hand where it laid on his cheek, then stared in her eyes for a moment. "You love Trowa... you were in love with Trowa. I thought you'd go. You didn't' know... of course I forgive you."

"And Triton... Trowa?" she asked in a squeak. "Can you forgive him?"

Quatre looked away and considered. "Yes, I can forgive him."

She shook her head as a tear fell from her eyes. "I've been so stupid... so selfish. But you aren't in anyway. I'll never forgive myself for it." It was not until now that she did truly believe he loved her as much as she had thought when she has spoken to Triton.

"DON'T torture yourself over it. There's nothing to forgive- either of you." His eyes, she swore almost sparkled. "Your here... your here." Quatre said softly.

He bent down and kissed her lips softly. "I love you. You don't need to linger on it.. it's enough that your here. I love you."

A serious look came to her features as she raised herself to sit up. "Quatre you need to understand something."

Quatre's blissful face became etched in concern.

"I don't love you. I mean, I DO love you... I'm just not IN love with you. But I'll do all I can to remedy that... to love you, be in love with you even more so than I had been with Triton. I WILL Quatre. I just need time." she said hoping he understood.

"I understand. I won't push you." Quatre said putting a hand to her cheek again. He leaned in to kiss her when she stopped him with a hand on his lips.

A teasing smile was on her lips. "Quatre..."

She got out of the bed and faced him. Slowly, she took her tied back hair down and undid the robe she was wearing. Quatre gasped when the robe fell to the floor. Her body was clad in a pale blue, nylon, transparent material, with intricate lace decorating the top portion of the gown.

"You like?" she asked turning around like a model on a runway. It showed off EVERY part of her body and then some.

"Very much." he replied a blush coming to his cheeks.

"I suggest you SHOW me how much." she said kneeling back on the bed, a suggestive content in her voice.

"Really?" Quatre asked in disbelief. She wanted him to make love to her? He shook it off and complied with the mood. It didn't take much for him to feel amorous with her. He encircled her waist and pulled her close to his body.

"PLEASE... show me." she whispered in a sultry tone.

"I'll show you." He pressed her even closer to him and cupped her face in his hand. Keeping his lips teasingly lingering to hers he spoke, I PROMISE I'll show you."

He brushed her lips softly, then kissed her lips more forcefully, and without pulling away for air, deepened the kiss. All the passion and love he had for her he channeled into his lips. She responded hungrily.

When they pulled away breathless she said," I promise I'll love you."

Quatre smiled as he lowered her down to lay beneath him on the bed.

"I promise." she said in a vow, wrapping his arms around his waist and shoulders and met his lips for another passionate kiss.

~~~~FINIS~~~~~

~On even the strongest love makes it's scarring marks
In an intricate dance of hearts
Just as it can on an earthly angel's wings
Let a heart take flight and beautifully sing~