Gundam Wing: True, True...

written by Pellaeon of TKS

Treize Khushrenada, leader of the secret organization known as OZ, finally sighed after nearly six hours of constant work, then banged his head on the Leo maintenance report on his desk. He was absolutely sick of the endless paper labor, with no end in sight and nobody to save him. Lady Une, after all, was in North Dakota.

He pushed the menial work aside, then opened the bottom drawer of his desk which served as a small refrigeration unit. He pulled out a beer, then set it on the desk, closing the refrigerator in something which appeared to be a fit of his middle-class side trying to break free. He opened the beer, then fished a remote out from under the sea of papers coating his desk and turned on a television set in the opposite wall. He shivered, quickly flipping past a workout video of Richard Simmons, Martha Stewart, and Barbara Streissand, all of whom were dressed in Spandex. He cycled through about another dozen channels before settling on some good ol’ American football. He grinned and sat back in his chair, sipping his beer as the tight end broke away to rush in a touchdown.

The phone rang on his desk, and Treize groaned, muting the television and picking it up. "Yo."

Zechs’s voice sounded over the receiver. "Yo. S’me."

"Yo, man," Treize drawled. "So, whasap, Bi?"

"Nothin’. Sittin’ here watchin’ the game, drinking a bud."

Treize nodded solemnly. "True, true..."

Suddenly, the doors to Treize’s office burst open, and a young man wearing an OZ flight officer’s uniform burst into the room. His curly brown hair was a dead giveaway to his identity as Flight Officer Otto Herschel. "WHASAAAAAAAAAAP?" he yelled to Treize.

"WHASAAAAAAAAAAP?" Treize greeted, momentarily forgetting the phone.

"What the...?" Zechs sounded confused. "Who’s that?"

Treize grinned, nodding to a phone on a small table near the door. "Yo, pick up the phone," he told Otto.

Otto complied, lifting the receiver to his ear. "WHASAAAAAAAAAAAAAP?" he yelled.

"WHASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP?" Zechs returned.

Treize found it appropriate to join in. "WHASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP?"

Otto chuckled. "Yo, where’s Noin?"

"Noi-Noin?" Zechs asked, since it appeared Noin was on Zechs’ end of the line. "Yo, pick up the phone!"

A fourth line picked up. "Yo."

"WHASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP?" Otto shouted.

"Whasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap?" Noin retorted in her softer voice.

"WHASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP?" Treize joined in.

"WHASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP?" Zechs’ grittier tone sounded.

"WHASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"Whasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

"WHASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"WHASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

This continued for a few minutes, but the author simply got bored and irritated and therefore muted the volume for a while. Yet he eventually decided to let this silly fic keep going and unmuted it.

"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

It was just about then that Lady Une, in full Colonel Une fury, burst into Treize’s office. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!!!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, then pulled her sidearm and shot Otto. Poor Otto. This killed the conversation pretty quickly, and Noin hung up, leaving Treize alone on the line with Zechs. Both paused for a moment before lifting the receiver to their ear again, solemn.

"So, whasap, Bi?" Zechs asked.

Treize shrugged. "Nothin’," he said, taking a sip of his beer. "Sittin’ here watchin’ the game, drinking a bud."

"True, true..."

Otto, it seemed, wasn’t quite dead yet. He was feeling much better, and even thought he might go for a walk, which is especially incredible, considering he was just shot.

So Lady Une came back in and shot him again.

Poor Otto.