written by: p-120

Whoever said it was a good thing to be a kid, anyway? It wasn’t for me… it’d never been. At least not after mother died… why’d she leave me alone? Why’d she leave me with Grandfather Barton? I sighed and lowered my head staring out the window as I pulled myself from the chair and began walking toward the door. I loved Grandfather but… he did so many bad things, how could he do those things? But he’s dead now… I think to myself as I pass out the door of the house and begin walking.

I know immediately where I’m going because it’s the only place my feet ever take me when I feel this way. I’m going to the cemetery again. To visit him. To visit Father… No one understands how truly lonely I am… Grandfather has died, Mother has died, and Father has died… I have no family at all left alive. They’re all restrained in the heavens, forbidden from seeing or speaking to me. At least I hope they’re in heaven… I couldn’t rule out the possibility they may have been restricted to Hell instead… Sigh.

I don’t even have any real friends. All I am is Mariemaia Kushrenada, the girl who tried to take over the world. A Kushrenada… the name was legendary; I don’t deserve to bear it. Not after my actions, not after I threatened to ruin the peace my father had given his life for. I’d been a bad girl, I’d been a bad daughter…

I looked up as my feet touched the familiar grass, I knew I’d arrived. The cemetery. Far to the left is where I would go from here, to visit Father’s grave. As I approach however I see I’m not the only one here… someone else has come to see Father today. I recognize the graceful down swept hair. Lady Une. I admire her so much… she’s still so dedicated to my father. She must have loved him a lot. Now that I think about it, maybe I didn’t come here to see father at all, maybe it was her I was seeking out. I knew when I went to the door and she didn’t call out for me to see where I was going she wasn’t home. I knew then, though I wasn’t thinking about it, I knew she was here. Maybe it was her I wanted to see, her I wanted to talk to. Maybe I was tired of a family who could no longer love me….

Now that I thought of it I wasn’t really alone at all. Lady Une had done her best to protect me throughout the war, she’d even cared for me after I was injured by Grandfather. Even after that whenever I looked up she was standing there, always waiting. It was her who managed to rid me of my sorrowful frown when I thought I had nowhere to go and was equally unwanted. Tossed aside by the world and the people I’d tried to conquer… but that hadn’t happened.

She wouldn’t let it happen. She’d been there. When the nurse pushed me out of the hospital room, I didn’t know where she was taking me. An orphanage I assumed since she hadn’t said anything. The only people who’d come to visit me were Relena Peacecraft and once again, Lady Une.

She’d done it because I was the daughter of the man she loved… I knew that much. But she was so nice to me… she’s still so nice. She gave me a home, helped me recover from my injuries, enrolled in a private school and even helped me study. Would she do all of that simply because I was Treize’s daughter? She must care something about me… at least I hoped she did.

Deciding I’d been staring at her too long I begin walking forward again. She hears me and looks up, her warm auburn eyes widen in surprise but then she welcomes me. She holds out her arms and I go to her, tears blurring my vision. When had I started to cry? Why was I crying at all? I curl up in her arms, at the foot of Father’s grave. She was so nice to me… always so nice… I think as her arms encircle me. Lost in the warmth and comfort of her embrace, I unwittingly fall into sleep. I hadn’t even realized I was so tired… but maybe she had.

I opened my eyes wearily… wondering at the strangeness. The cemetery was such a quiet place. Nothing moved, it was like a still life painting until a figured rounded the tree in the distance, near the entrance. I blinked, thinking I was hallucinating. That couldn’t possibly be… Lady Une stood up beside me, I hadn’t even realized she was awake. She began walking toward him, the man in the blue uniform. A shiny black cape fell from his side and he brushed it back as he and Lady Une embraced, his eyes fluttered closed as he held her.

That’s… that’s my father! I realize in complete, utter shock. Lady Une was hugging my dad, my mouth drops open at the sheer impossibility of the situation. They step apart, Lady Une stands beside my father as they both look over at me. I suddenly wish I could vanish, sink into the tree I’m leaning against but I can’t… He lifts an arm and motions me forward, toward him. I reluctantly stand up and begin walking, somehow the ground beneath my feet had become softer, like it had recently rained. As though the heavens had heard me the clouds above begin to pour rain over the cemetery, pelting me with the tiny droplets as I walk further toward them. The closer I get, the more details of his face and manner I can see.

His shoulders are back, his eyes trained on me, his cape once again hangs down his side. He is completely without fault, not a stain or wrinkle in existence on that suit he wears. He kneels down on the ground, his high boots preventing the immaculate white of his pants from being soiled by the soft muddy ground. He lifts a hand under my chin and lifts my head as I stop in front of him… I look up, expecting to see disapproval, so I look away instead, over at Lady Une.

She smiles at me and nervously I look away again, to the right when I notice another figure. My eyes brighten and I begin to smile, when I realized why they must have come. To tell me how bad I’ve been, to condemn my actions against Earth, I lower my head to the ground again, waiting for my rebuke, but none is forthcoming. My mother stands beside behind Treize, just like Lady Une. One woman by each shoulder as they all stare at me. Lady Une smiles and so does my mother.

Fearfully I raise my eyes to meet my Father’s gaze and sure enough, the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile as well. Joy fills my heart, and I’m suddenly elated. I’m not a disappointment to them! I smile, my eyes twinkling with my delight as I rush forward to hug my father, closing my eyes as tears silently fall from them.

When I open my eyes, I’m still held closely, I realize immediately it had been a dream, I recognize Lady Une’s perfume. A beautiful dream… my favorite ever. Wistfully I glance at flower shaped watch clinging to my wrist. 3:57 p.m. Smiling, I hug Lady Une tightly back before I stand up. She looks at me surprised, but seems happy that I am smiling.

"Let’s go home…"

She returns my bright smile. "Yes, let’s,"

I take her hand as we walk back to the house, passing by a blonde with long hair. I don’t recognize her, but she seems to know who I am, at least I’m guessing she does, but the way she stares at me as I pass. I brush it aside as I continue walking content. Being a Kushrenada isn’t a bad thing… Just like Father and Lady Une, I can world for a peaceful world too. I mutely wonder if Lady Une will teach me how to fly a mobile suit… even better, maybe she’ll let me join the Preventer’s!

"Lady Une do you think-"

"No Mariemaia…" she already knew what I was thinking. Strangely I wonder how… but don’t linger as she continues. "The last thing your father would want is you on a battlefield. Please do not forget, your father’s goal at his death was to make the world accept the Pacifism Ideal so Relena Peacecraft could take over and lead the people to a true peace. You mustn’t ever forget that, and the world mustn’t forget it either…"

I nod glumly. That’s right! I remember. Father did die for peace. Now that I know what his true beliefs were it was entirely possible to make myself a disgrace to him by even thinking of fighting in any sort of way. No, perhaps I’ll adopt the pacifism ideal and become a supporter of the Sanc Kingdom. I shrug the thought away. No. I’m not going to worry about it anymore. I want to be a kid again… I want to be free from tiresome responsibilities; I don’t want to worry about the world anymore. Forget the world; let someone else worry about it.

I go to my room as we enter the house, and glance at my watch. 4:13 p.m. I begin digging through my night side table and pull out a small-framed photo. The only one I have left of my mom. I put it up on my dresser before I walk out of the room to find Lady Une.

"Do you have a picture I can have of my dad?"

She nods and stands up from her place on the couch. "One second," she disappears into her room and returns with another framed picture. She hands it to me. He’s wearing a gray suit and smiling. Wow, that’s my dad! I think proudly as the I take the picture back to my room and set it on the other side of the dresser across from my room. Staring at it, I’m not pleased… something’s still missing. I walk back out into the living room, she’s reading her magazine again.

"Lady Une…"

"Yes?" she looks up at me with a small smile.

"Can I have one of you?"

"I’d give you one but I don’t have any," she said.

"None?!"

She shakes her head. "No, sorry,"