I’ll Survive
Laura walked in the door of her home carrying a bag full of groceries. No sooner
had she set the bag down on the counter than she saw her husband coming down the
stairs.
"Luke, what are you doing with that old suitcase?" asked Laura, a sense of
foreboding filling her.
"I’m leavin’, Laura." He shifted uncomfortably and set down an envelope next to
her groceries.
"For how long? You’ll be back in time for Christmas, won’t you?"
"Try real hard to follow this, darlin’." Luke slowed his speech so it sounded as
if he were speaking to Leslie Lu, their four year old daughter. "I’m leavin’ for
good. I want a divorce and I’ve already started the process." She opened her
mouth to protest but he put up his hand and silenced her. "I thought it would be
easier for you to get remarried if I left you, but if you want to make it look
like you divorced me, that fine too. I don’t care. Either way we need to
separate. We’re just no good for each other anymore, baby." She dropped into the
nearest chair, and sat, stunned. After an uncomfortable silence she looked up at
him.
"Luke, I know what you think about Stefan and I but…" He walked across the room
and kneeled down so their eyes were parallel; she lowered her gaze.
"Then look at me." He took her chin in his hand, forcing her to give him eye
contact. "Look at me and tell me you don’t love him."
"Luke, please…"
"You see?" He cut her off and let his hand slip away from her. Laura sighed in
exasperation, then clenched her jaw. She was getting angry. How dare he leave
her like this? She stood.
"Maybe I do love him, Luke. Could you blame me?" Her voice took on an edge that
he hadn’t heard her use before. "After all you have been gone for four months.
You did abandon me after you found out that Nikolas is Stefan’s…"
"Stop! Don’t even say it. What do you think it was like for me? Sitting up night
after night, imagining you in his arms." Luke spat out the word ‘his’ as if it
were poison.
"What do you think it was like for me, Luke?" She threw his own question back at
him. "I visited Nikolas at Wyndemere. I saw Stefan. He tried again and again to
get me to be unfaithful to you." Her voice was rising by the second. "I wouldn’t
do it. ‘Luke loves me; He’s coming back’ I would say. ‘If Luke loves you so much
then why isn’t he here fighting for you?’ Stefan would ask me." Here Luke began
to speak but Laura gave him a look that told him ‘shut up’ better than any
words. "I never did come up with an answer for him. If you cared about me or our
marriage at any point in time why did you leave right when you should have
stayed and fought. I don’t think this is a question of ‘Who do I love? Luke or
Stefan?’ I think this a question of ‘Who loves me? Luke or Stefan?" She finished
her speech almost screaming. Tears of rage were streaming down her face, and
when she wiped them away, she saw that her mascara was running.
"You know I love you." Luke set his suitcase down.
"Do I? Then tell me something." Laura demanded. "When you abandoned me, when you
refused to let me see my son," she paused, considering weather or not to lower
the final blow and decided in favor of it… "When you raped me. Was that your
sick and twisted way of letting me know how much you love me." She was almost
sorry for bringing up her rape when she saw the hurt look in his eyes, but when
hurt was almost immediately replaced by indifference she became even angrier.
"Luke, you can’t leave! I’m pregnant!" Almost before the words were out she
regretted saying them. Her hand went instinctively to her mouth. For an instant
he let the shock he felt show in his face, but he soon covered it up.
"That’s impossible. Unless he’s another Cassadine." Luke sneered.
"It’s not impossible. You know he’s not a Cassadine. Just look at me! I’m five
months along and you didn’t even notice." Stefan noticed, Laura thought to
herself. He stepped back so he could take a good look at her. She was wearing a
green, loose fitting dress, and from the light in their kitchen she certainly
didn’t look pregnant.
"I don’t believe you, Laura, and you wanna know why? Because I think right about
now you’re scared to death of loosin me. Wyndemere’s lookin kinda cold and
empty, isn’t it, ‘Lasha’?" He said, using Stefan’s name for her.
"Wyndemere would be a welcome change!" Laura crossed the room. "Lucky has hated
me since he found out that I was capable of forgiving rape, Leslie Lu is too
young to help me much although it is a comfort to know that one of our children
doesn’t hate me, and you’ve been gone. At Wyndemere, I have a lonely eighteen
year old son who would welcome me with open arms, and a man who has loved me
unconditionally, knowing all of my secrets for sixteen long years. Sixteen years
in which I abandoned both of them." Laura stopped and took a deep breath. For
some reason it was vitally important that he believe she was pregnant. "I’m not
making this up. I love you, Luke, and I want you to stay, but I’m not desperate
enough to make up something that could be proven false so easily. Go to GH if
you don’t believe me. Go to GH and talk to Dr. Eve Lambert… she handled my
test." He suddenly saw that might have just blown his last opportunity to make
things right with his wife.
"I’m sorry, Laura. I didn’t think…"
"You never think. Well I do. And I thought it would be best if you knew before
you left so that you couldn’t accuse me of ‘not informing you.’ I want this
baby, but I don’t want it to have a father that doesn’t love me.”
"Dang it, Laura! What do you want me to do? Should I get down on my knees? Say
the pledge of allegiance? What did Cassadine do?" She looked away. "Oh yeah.
Well I’m sorry, darlin, but I think the baby will be born before I can spend the
next sixteen years waiting for you."
"I’m not even asking you to stay with me, Luke. I know it’s over." Laura
shrugged in defeat. "Just stick around so that your child has a chance to know
its father."
"Ain’t gonna do it, Laura. Now don’t pout." He said as her eyes grew cold.
"There’s till time to pass the poor kid off as a Cassadine. Just tell Stefan
that the baby was premature… or would that even be necessary?"
"I don’t like the insinuations you’re making. You know I didn’t sleep with him."
"You did nineteen years ago." Luke pointed out, heading towards the door.
"I thought…"
"You thought I was dead." Luke finished for her. "Spare me, baby. I’ve heard
this so many times I think I’ve got it memorized. Let’s see: ‘He saved your
life, you were lonely…’ I understand." He opened the door.
"Fine. Go Luke Spencer. Just remember this. Next time you come back, the door
will be locked. You aren’t welcome in this house any more. Now get out of my
sight." Laura pointed at the door and only after it had slammed did she dissolve
in tears.
Laura wiped her eyes a few minutes later. She walked over to her groceries and
took out the milk, to put it in the fridge. Her elbow pushed an envelope off the
counter. She stooped a picked it up, remembering that Luke had set something
there. Inside were a check and a note.
Laura,
I’m sorry, but I’ve got to leave. By the time you get this I’ll probably be on a
plane or a bus out of Port Charles. I won’t waste space telling you why I left…
you already know. I just wanted to tell you one last time how much I love you.
I’ll never stop loving you, but right now I don’t think I’ll be coming back. I
left a check for $100,000. If you need more just let Jason know. (He’ll be
running the club). I’ll keep in touch with Lulu. Please try to tell her that I
love her every night. I’ll miss you.
You’ll always be my angel,
Luke
The next day Laura went to pick up Leslie Lu from Felicia’s where she had spent
the night. After knocking on the door, Laura smoothed her dress out. She hadn’t
slept last night, and hadn’t thought to iron her clothes.
"I must look a sight." Laura sighed.
"You always look great, hon." Felicia had opened the door.
"Oh!" Laura almost jumped. "Hello, Felicia. I hope Leslie Lu didn’t keep Maxie
and Georgie up." She managed a smile.
"Nope. Actually Maxie and Georgie kept her up. They were playing dress-up." Both
women laughed. "Look, Laura," Felicia hesitated.
"What?"
"You don’t have to act like everything’s all right." Felicia smiled
sympathetically.
"How did you…"
"Luke stopped here at around eight. Why don’t you come inside?" Felicia led
Laura to the sofa.
"I hope Luke didn’t seem it necessary to tell everyone in town." Laura was
annoyed.
"No. He wouldn’t do that. Actually he didn’t even tell me. He just came to say
good-bye to Leslie Lu." Laura sat down next to Felicia. "Well, if he didn’t tell
you then how did you know?"
"I was dusting, and stopped in front of Maxie’s room, where they were. I wasn’t
trying to eavesdrop, Laura… honestly. I went back down as soon as I realized
what he was saying."
"I know you, Felicia. You’re not a nosy person." Laura ran her fingers through
her mussed hair. "How is Lulu?"
"Confused mostly. I think Georgie and Maxie got her mind off of things. They’re
good at that."
"Well, they’re your daughters, aren’t they?"
"Oh, pooh! I always seem to say too much."
"No you don’t, Felicia." Laura took her hand. "You’re a wonderful friend. I’ll
give a call sometime and tell you all about everything that’s been going on.
You’re really the only friend I have left."
"Don’t be ridiculous, Laura."
"Name one friend that I have besides you." Laura smiled. It didn’t really bother
her that she had no friends besides Felicia. She wasn’t a particularly social
person.
"Bobbie has always liked you."
"Bobbie hasn’t spoken to me since I came back from North Carolina eight months
ago except to ridicule my treatment of her brother."
"Well, she and Luke were always pretty close." Felicia said quickly. "What about
Monica Quartermaine?"
"I suppose you could call us friends." Laura relented. "It’s not really her
fault that she hasn’t had any time to call me." The women exchanged meaningful
glances.
"The poor lady! You know what I heard?" Felicia leaned in.
"What?" Laura felt like a young girl again. It had been so long since she had
gossiped about her neighbors.
"I heard that Alan is living on Cortland Street." Laura gasped.
"The richest man in Port Charles living on the most dangerous road in town?"
Laura made a clucking noise with her tongue.
"Former richest man in Port Charles, if you please." Laura looked confused.
"Haven’t you heard? The Quartermaines disinherited him. And that’s not all."
Felicia whispered. "Rumor has it that he’s being unfaithful to Monica."
"That’s terrible!" Felicia stood.
"Do you want some tea?" Laura nodded
"Yes please." Laura laughed. "Wait a second. How would you know that he’s being
unfaithful to Monica?"
"My dear, there are certain advantages to being the police commissioners wife."
Felicia stood and giggled. She walked to the ajoining kitchen and put two cups
full of water in the microwave.
"How is Mac?"
"Oh, fine and dandy. He had to leave at seven for work. Do you want herbal or
just plain?"
"Plain is fine."
"Hey! We’ve been calling Alan the former richest man town."
“So?"
"Well, he never was the richest man in town."
"No?"
"No, Stefan Cassadine is. Now that’s a whole lotta money!" Laura suddenly
realized that she hadn’t thought about her own problems for the last few
minutes. The mention of Stefan made them all come back to her.
"Stefan?" Laura said for lack of anything better.
"Yes. Of course he’ll loose it all when Nikolas becomes Duke, or King, or… what
do those royal people call it?"
"The Cassadine." Laura said, absently answering Felicia’s question.
"Oh, that’s right. I forgot that I’m talking to a former Cassadine." Felicia
came out with the cups. "I almost forgot that Nikolas was your son for a second.
Here’s your tea." Laura took her tea from Felicia. A tear slid down her cheek,
and she turned to wipe it away.
"Are you all right?" Felicia’s voice was full of sympathy.
"Yeah, I’ll be fine."
"I’m sorry Laura, the thing you probably need most right now is to talk to
somebody about Luke, and I was just afraid I would say the wrong thing. I just
tried to avoid the subject." Laura started crying.
"Oh, hon." Was all Felicia could think to say, so she put her arms around Laura.
"Shhh. It’s gonna be Ok."
"Felicia, I’m the one… who’s sorry. I must be making… you so uncomfortable."
Laura managed to say between sobs.
"Laura, look at me." Felicia pulled back so that Laura could see her face. "Tell
me what’s wrong. I mean, sure you miss Luke, but there’s something else isn’t
there?" Laura was shocked at how well Felicia could read her.
"That’s just the thing. I don’t miss Luke."
"What? Then why the tears?"
"Because I feel so guilty for not missing him."
"Don’t be ridiculous! You haven’t had a very good relationship with him for two
years. It’s only natural that it would be a relief when he leaves. Anyway, any
man who leave his wife when she’s…"
"Luke didn’t know until he practically out the door." Laura excused.
"How could he not notice?" Felicia sounded skeptical.
"He probably thought I was just gaining weight." Laura wiped her eyes.
"Here." Felicia handed her a box of Kleenex that had been sitting on the coffee
table. "We always keep tissue in the television room. I’m such a sucker for sad
movies." Laura had to laugh. That was Felicia.
"Now, what did I say that reminded you of Luke?" Felicia scolded herself. Laura
looked away. It would be disastrous if Felicia found out why Luke had left. If
Felicia figured out how she felt about Stefan, she was just one step away from
figuring out who Nikolas’ father was. Not that Laura thought Felicia would tell
anyone, but up until a few months ago, only she and Stefan had known. They had
both vowed not to ever tell anyone else. Then, Luke had figured it out. There
was too much of a chance it would get back to Nikolas or worse yet, Helena if
anyone else found out.
"Laura?" Felicia asked suspiciously. "I believe I was talking about the
Cassadines. Stefan to be precise."
"Were you?" Laura suddenly seemed mesmerized by her tea.
"Yes, I was." Felicia was smiling by now. Just then Leslie Lu walked downstairs,
and Laura sighed with relief.
"Mommy!" Leslie Lu jumped onto Laura’s lap.
"How are you, precious?" Laura smoothed her hair.
"Where are Maxie and Georgie?" Felicia let the subject drop… for the moment…
after giving Laura a significant look.
"They’re still sleeping. And it’s nine-thirty!"
"Yes it is. And you should still be asleep too." Laura gently admonished.
"How does she do it?" Felicia said in awe. "She stays up until one and get up at
nine-thirty as chipper as ever!"
"I’ll get my stuff!" Leslie Lu ran back up the stairs.
"Do you want breakfast, Lulu?" Felicia called after her.
"No." Came the reply.
"No, what?" Laura reminded her.
"No thank-you, Felicia." After Leslie Lu was safely out of earshot.
"We can keep her another day, you know." Felicia smiled knowingly.
"What was that look about?"
"I think that you have people you need to see."
"People?" Laura feigned confusion although she saw where this conversation was
going.
"Yes, people." She giggled. "Rich people."
"Well, a chat with Monica would be lovely, but…"
"Oh, Laura, you know what I’m talking about. Go see Stefan."
"Now, why on earth would I do that?"
"All right, fine, don’t admit it. Just let us keep her. You can… take a nice,
hot bath." Leslie Lu came back downstairs with her little bag.
"Did you get your toothbrush, comb, and pajamas?" Laura asked.
"Yep! Let’s go home. I wanna see Daddy!" Laura looked down at the floor. Hadn’t
Luke explained things well enough?
"Princess, come sit here." Laura tapped the empty place between Felicia and her.
"I have laundry to do." Felicia tactfully excused herself, as Leslie Lu came and
sat next to Laura.
"Daddy isn’t going to be coming for awhile, Lulu." Felicia gave Laura one last
encouraging look before leaving the room.
"Oh." Leslie Lu looked completely unphased. "But he’ll be home in time in
supper, right?" A sad smile played around the edges of Laura’s mouth.
"No, Daddy won’t be home in time for supper, Sweetie." She leaned down and
kissed her daughter on the forehead.
"Then when?"
"Well, what did Daddy tell you when you talked to him last night?" Laura asked,
unwilling to be the bearer of bad news.
"That he loved me."
"And that’s true. But, did he say when he’d be coming home?"
"No." Thanks a lot, Luke, Laura thought to herself. Leave me with the uninformed
daughter.
"Lulu, do you remember when we went to North Carolina?" Laura decided to try
another tactic.
"Yeah." Lulu was playing with a piece of lace on her shirt.
"We didn’t see Daddy for a long time, but you had fun anyway."
"Yeah." Lulu repeated.
"Well, this time Daddy had to go somewhere."
"Was it North Carolina?" Leslie Lu asked, suddenly interested.
"No, but it’s a long ways away. Daddy will still keep in touch you, though.
He’ll write you letters, and call, and maybe someday you can go visit him."
"Ok." That was all Lulu said.
"You ready to go home?" Laura picked up Leslie Lu’s bag.
"Do I have to, Mommy?" Just then Felicia walked back in.
"I hope I’m not intruding."
"No, actually, your timing is perfect." Laura smiled. "It seems that Leslie Lu
wants to stay."
"Can I, Felicia?" Leslie Lu put on her most adorable smile. "I want to play with
Maxie and Georgie."
"Of course you can. If your mommy says it’s ok." Felicia looked at Laura for
conformation.
"Are you sure?" Laura didn’t want to leave her if she was going to start crying
as soon as she left.
"I’m sure." Leslie Lu replied.
"It’s fine with me then."
"You go into the kitchen and I’ll be in to make you some pancakes." Leslie Lu
jumped up and down.
"Pancakes?!"
"Yep." Leslie Lu ran to the kitchen. "Tell Stefan hi for me." Felicia said after
Leslie was gone.
"I’m not going to Wyndemere. Luke hasn’t even been gone twenty-four hours."
"Whatever you say." Felicia followed Leslie Lu to the kitchen.
"I’m not! I’m going to take a bath!"
"Sure you are, Laura." Felicia called back before disappearing into the kitchen.
~*~
Laura got home around ten-thirty. She had gone for a walk, and was feeling much
better after her talk with Felicia. Laura went straight to her bedroom and got a
silk robe from the closet. That robe always had made her feel better. She had
worn it the day Lucky had moved away from home, the last time Luke had left her,
and the day she had had to testify at Stefan’s trial. She found some bubble bath
in the closet and turned the water on in the bathroom, as she put her hair up in
a bun. Laura was minorly annoyed when, after only a few moments in the hot,
soothing water, the doorbell rang. Laura sighed, climbed out of the tub, and
threw on her robe. She was still fumbling, trying to tie, when she opened the
door.
"Nikolas! It’s so good to see you!" She reached up and gave her son a big hug.
"Hello, Laura. I just stopped by because I was in the neighborhood. Is Lulu
here?"
"No, Nikolas. She’s down the street at the Scorpio’s. You could visit her there
if you wanted." Nikolas noticed her robe.
"I’m sorry, were you busy?"
"No." She paused, debated whether or not to tell him about Luke. "Nikolas, I
think you have a right to know. Luke left yesterday. He wants a divorce."
"Oh." Nikolas tried his best to look sad, but Laura knew that he was in reality
he was thrilled. She couldn’t blame him. Hadn’t been the combination of Luke and
Helena that had kept her from him all of these years.
"You don’t have to act upset, Nikolas. It’s all right. I’m not even really
upset. I knew it was coming." Nikolas looked relieved.
"I do think it’s too bad Laura, I really do. After all you sacrificed for him…"
"Well, I suppose it just wasn’t meant to be." Laura could hardly believe she was
saying those words. She had always said that they were predestined. But
somewhere along the road he had changed, or maybe she had changed. She didn’t
know which.
"Are you going to go to Scorpio’s?" Laura asked after a brief silence.
"Nah. I don’t know them too well. I think I’ll go visit the hospital since I’m
off the island anyway. Bobbie said I should stop by for lunch some day, and I
think her shift is over in about fifteen minutes. By the way," Nikolas hesitated
momentarily.
"What?"
"Well, I was just wondering if you and Leslie Lu would maybe come over for
Christmas dinner." Any doubts he had, Laura soon put to rest.
"Of course I will. Nikolas, you don’t how long I’ve wanted to spend a Christmas
with you. Gosh, that’s only four days away, isn’t it?"
"Yeah." Nikolas was beaming. "We’ll eat around one."
"Good. But, are you sure it will be all right with your uncle?" Laura remembered
the last time Stefan and she had spoken. It hadn’t been pleasant. Ironically
enough they had been arguing about Luke.
"I all ready asked him. It’s fine."
"All right."
"I’ll see you Friday, then." Nikolas turned and left.
"Bye." Laura called after him.
"Good-bye." She closed the door and went back to the bathroom. Her water was
getting cold, so she ran more hot water into her bath. Then slipped back in. The
warm water felt so relaxing… she closed her eyes, and then opened them quickly.
If she kept them closed she’d probably fall asleep. Just as Laura was reaching
for the soap, she heard the phone ring.
"What’s someone have to do to take a nice quiet bath around here?" She asked,
more laughing than upset. Once again, putting on her robe, she grabbed the phone
in her bedroom.
"Hello?"
"Lasha?" She caught her breath. Only one person ever called her Lasha, her Greek
name, anymore.
"Stefan?"
"Yes. Nikolas was thinking of stopping by and asking you to come to eat
Christmas dinner here. Did he do so?"
"He did."
"And did you comply."
"I did." Laura again, began trying to tie her robe. “Although, I wasn’t quit
sure whether or not you would approve."
"Why on earth would I want to keep my…"Stefan lowered his voice, and Laura could
just imagine him walking to the door of his study and looking around the corner
for servants. "My son from his mother. Especially on Christmas. Nikolas has
dreamed of your presence every December twenty-fifth since he was three."
"We ended our last conversation in a shouting match, Stefan. I wasn’t sure if
you’d forgiven me."
"There is no need for to forgive you. However, I did want to call and apologize
before you came."
"It’s all right. I was as much to blame as you."
"No, Lasha. I need to learn to practice self-restraint, when it comes to your
husband."
"Ex-husband." Laura said softly.
"I beg your pardon?" Stefan asked, not believing his ears.
"Ex-husband." Laura repeated. "Luke is my soon-to-be ex-husband. Don’t tell me
you didn’t know." Laura raised her eyebrows, knowing that Stefan kept close tabs
on all of his enemies, Luke being one of them.
"I must confess, that I knew he had left town, but I wasn’t aware that he had
asked for a divorce."
"Well, now you are." Laura smiled. Just then, she heard a tap at the door. "You
know what, Stefan, there’s someone at my door, I have to go."
"Very well. I’ll see you in four days."
"Yes. Good-bye." Laura hung up and went to her door.
"At least this time I didn’t have to get out of my bath." She mumbled to
herself, before opening the door.
"Hey, Mom." Of all the people she had seen today, this was the one that shocked
her the most.
"Lucky!" Was all she could say. But if she was surprised at seeing her sixteen-
year-old son, what he did next blew her away. Lucky went right up to Laura and
put his arms around her.
"I’m sorry, Mom." He was crying! She couldn’t believe he was actually crying.
"I’m so sorry, Mom." She pulled away, and looked at him.
"Lucky, what’s wrong?" She reached up and brushed a piece of hair off his
forehead.
"I saw Dad last night."
"Oh." Laura sighed. Who hadn’t seen Luke last night?
"I never had any right to be mad at you, Mom. It wasn’t your fault that Dad
raped you."
"Lucky, what on earth did your father say to you?" Laura was reeling from the
fact that she was actually talking to her son, let alone listening to an
apology.
"He told me everything. About how he forced you to marry him. It was never your
choice. Why didn’t you tell me?" Laura’s mouth dropped open. Luke, in his own
fumbling way had been trying to give her one last gift… her son. But she
couldn’t accept it.
"Lucky, come inside." Lucky came inside with her.
"You’re father didn’t force me to marry him." she said, after they were sitting
at the dining room table.
"Mom, you don’t have to…"
"Listen to me, Lucky." Laura realized that for the first time since her had
found out about the rape, she had his attention. He would listen to her. "I’m
going to tell you a story." Lucky got a bored look on his face. "You never did
like fairy tales, Lucky." Laura laughed. "You said that you preferred true
stories. Well, this one is true. It’s a story about a girl who was married to a
boy she didn’t love." Lucky got in comfortable position. "The boy had saved the
girls life, so she felt that she owed him a great deal. But, she wasn’t happy
with him. Now this girl met a man." Laura smiled, remembering Luke when he was
young. "The man owned a nightclub, and the girl applied to be a waitress. She
was lonely because the boy she was married to was in college. The girl didn’t
see any harm in flirting with the man. She knew that he found her attractive."
Laura paused, a far away look in her eye. "She was very young…" Lucky knew who
the story was about by now, but decided to hear her out. "One night, she and the
boy she was married to had a fight. She worked late that night. And, yes. The
man did rape the girl that night. But, it wasn’t rape the way Elizabeth was
raped," said Laura, referring to Lucky’s friend, who had been raped by a
stranger in a park on Valentines Day. "After many years, the girl married the
man. And she loved him with all of heart. She was able to forget what had
happened that night," Laura sighed. "And that’s the end."
"You, Scotty, and Dad?" Lucky asked, all ready knowing the answer.
"Yes."
"Why did Dad tell me that he forced you to marry him?" Lucky asked.
"I don’t know. Maybe because he knew that he wasn’t coming back, so it didn’t
matter what you thought of him. He wanted you and I to get along again. The way
we used to."
"It can’t ever be the way it was, Mom."
"I suppose I know that." Laura gave Lucky a wan smile. "But couldn’t we… I don’t
know, start over again."
"That, I can try." Lucky returned her smile.
"Good." Laura said, tears of happiness coming to her eyes.
"Is it all right if I stop over here with Elizabeth on Christmas." Laura bit her
lip. She hadn’t counted on Lucky wanting to spend Christmas with her.
"We’ll only be able to stay a few minutes. We’ve got to be at a party by noon."
Lucky sounded apologetic.
"It’s all right, Lucky." Laura almost laughed with relief. "I’m sure I’ll find
something to do. What time will you be by."
"I don’t know. Do you think Leslie Lu will still get you up at six?"
"I’m sure she will."
"Well, if you’re going to be up, we could stop by at around seven."
"That would be wonderful." Laura smiled. Glancing up at the dining room clock,
Lucky stood.
"Look, I’ve gotta meet Elizabeth at her house in five minutes."
"You better hurry, then,” said Laura, walking her son to the door.
"Bye, Mom."
"Good-bye, Lucky." They hugged one last time, and then he left.
~*~
Laura looked at her watch. It was only five o’clock. After Lucky had gone, she
had taken all the phones off the hook, and taken her bath. Then, she had tuned
into AMC and watched ‘An Affair to Remember’. Now she was restless and bored.
There wasn’t anything good on TV, she afraid if she ate anymore she would break
her scale by morning, and she had read every book in the house. She finally
decided to go for another walk, so she got dressed.
Once outside, Laura felt much better. It was cool, but not too cool, and the
wind had just enough bite in it to make her feel cozy inside her warm coat. She
found herself walking along the docks. All of sudden, she felt as if she had
done this before… somewhere else. And then she remembered.
~~
It had been a cold day… unusual on the island. She had been trying to get away
to see Stefan for a few moments. Her husband, Stavros, kept her practically
locked up, and the only times she could get out of the house was when he was
either gone on business or sleeping. That day he had been in a drunken stupor.
Laura had just found that Luke, who she had believed dead, was in fact, alive.
She had run down the docks of the island, where she knew Stefan would be. She
had walked back and forth looking for him, and finally he had appeared, from the
forest, just opposite the docks.
"Lasha, what are you doing here?" he had asked when he spotted her.
"I had to see you… before I left." She had said the last words almost in a
whisper.
"Before you what?"
"I’m leaving, Stefan. I have to. I found out today that Luke is alive."
"What? Luke’s what?"
"He’s alive!"
"How did you find this out?"
"Helena told me." Laura had been brimming with excitement.
"Why?" He had asked.
"She picked up the paper this morning, and there was an article about how a
another man’s body had been mistaken for Luke’s. They were both in the
avalanche, but Luke survived. He was paralyzed, and he didn’t want anyone to
have to take care of him, but he recovered. I suppose she told me out of sheer
shock, since I was there when she read it. I’m sure she’ll regret telling me."
Laura had paused for breath.
"Lasha, you know that my mother doesn’t let things slip. She had a reason for
telling you, I’m sure."
"Listen, Stefan," Laura had said, completely disregarding his pessimistic
opinion. "I left Nikolas in the nursery. Promise me you’ll take care of him
while I’m gone. Whether he’s your son or Stavros’, promise me you’ll always love
him like your own." He had nodded slightly. "I’ve just got to see Luke." Here
Stefan’s face had fallen, and she had known what he was thinking.
"I’ll be back." She had said putting her hand on his cheek. "Don’t worry. I love
you. But I also love Luke, and I need to see for myself that he’s all right. I
won’t even approach him. I just have to see him." Her eyes had pleaded for him
to understand.
"Does Helena know that you’re going?"
"Of course not. I was planning to take one of the boats."
"She’ll be on your trail by morning." Stefan had pulled her close to him.
"I’ve just got to do this." She had whispered.
"Promise me something."
"What?"
"Don’t go yet. You’ve waited three years. Wait one more week. I think I can
arrange for you to go with Helena’s approval."
"Do you mean it?" She had pulled back and looked into his eyes.
"Of course I mean it. But Lasha, I don’t know what I’ll do without you."
"I’ll hurry back." She had murmured, as Stefan drew her back into his arms.
~~
"It was fifteen years." Laura jumped as her thoughts were disturbed by a voice
behind her. "You were gone fifteen years. You never came back."
"Stefan?" She whirled around. But no one was there. Her guilty conscious was
playing tricks on her. Laura sat down on one of the benches that lined the
docks. "You never came back" the words haunted her as if they had really been
spoken. She sat there silently, gazing at Wyndemere, across the water, for about
fifteen minutes.
"I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t come back. I know I hurt you. I can’t talk to
you about these things, Stefan…" She vaguely thought how insane someone would
think she was if they walked by, but she didn’t care. "You don’t understand me
anymore. You never let me explain. I went back to Port Charles after you
convinced your brother and mother to let me go. I guess I never thanked you for
that. Thank you. I wasn’t planning to stay, honestly I wasn’t." She felt a
desperate need to speak what only she had known for so long. "I didn’t plan to
betray you. I was planning to do exactly what I said I would… see Luke and
leave. I had my disguise on. I was in the garden at City Hall, he spotted me,
and he knew… he just knew. When I saw the recognition in his eyes, I should have
run… and I did. Right into his arms. I don’t know what possessed me. After that,
I still could have gone back, I suppose, but you were right about Helena. What
she wanted was complete control of Nikolas. She even threatened to kill my
mother, Luke, and anyone else I cared about if I ever tried to go back. I was a
coward. I’m so sorry." Silent tears ran down her face, as she mouthed the words,
"I love you."
"Lasha?" This time she was sure someone was really there and turned to see
Stefan. Laura gasped.
"Stefan! What are you doing here?" She realized what a ridiculous question that
was. Wasn’t his home just across the water. He was probably waiting for the
launch. She was relieved she hadn’t spoken her last words aloud.
"I went to a business meeting at General Hospital."
"How much did you hear?" she asked, embarrassed.
"Enough." Laura couldn’t see him in the dark, but from his voice she could tell
he was choking back tears. Laura stood
"I need to pick up Leslie Lu…" She felt him grasp her arm.
"Lasha, I…"
"Please, Stefan." She said, not because she wanted him to let go of her. She
wouldn’t have cared if he never let go, but it was too soon. Luke hadn’t been
gone long enough.
"I understand." And from his tone, she could see that he really did understand…
he wasn’t just saying it.
"Thank you." she murmured, fresh tears welling up in her eyes. With his index
finger, he gently wiped away her tears, then turned and without looking back,
walked to his waiting launch.
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