Chapter 5
As they walked away he looked back at the girls who mouthed for him to take care
of her. As they walked back to the bus station Carly walked past it and Michael
frowned, "Where we going?"
"To the station. I'd really rather walk than ride right now." Carly said and
pressed the crossing button. Michael found it a little hard to keep up with her
but he managed. She seemed angry and sad ever since she had talked to that
creep. They finally boarded a bus back for Port Charles. When they got off the
bus Carly started walking again. Michael didn't complain he just followed.
Finally they reached the beginning of the fields that lead to Michael's house.
As they walked quicker and quicker Carly took deep breaths in and out. She
opened and closed her fist tightly. Michael couldn't stand it anymore, "What is
it? What does that guy know that I don't?!" Michael asked.
Carly looked up and wiped away her tears best she could, "Michael, it's a long
story."
"I want to know!" Michael spoke in a demanding voice.
"Michael," Carly sighed and slowed her pace a little, "Ten years ago! I was
trying to forget that I might be somebody else. I tried to make a new life for
me! I mean how was I to know that you even existed?!" Carly started to speed up
again, "That bastard back there pretended to care about me and I was stupid
enough to believe him! I was so naive that I believed him! I actually thought
I'd marry him and we'd live happily ever after! But you know what? Neither one
of us had a job, a home, and not even a family!" Carly laughed at herself and
stopped. She held onto her stomach tightly and began to grip her shirt as she
fell to her knees, "I thought…" Carly cried and Michael knelt to her, "I thought
I was in love. I thought we'd take on the world but he was just a user and when
I found out I was pregnant everything changed!" Carly shouted through her tears.
Michael sat suddenly, "Pregnant?"
Carly nodded still crying… still hurting, "When he found out all the sudden I
was a slut. All of the sudden I was sleeping with everyone at least according to
him I was. This couldn't be his child." Carly cupped her face in her one hand
and held her stomach still with the other, "I couldn't let my baby grow up like
that. So… I did the one thing I thought was right." Carly shrugged and looked at
Michael.
"What'd you do?" Michael said his tears beginning to fall. He felt bad for her
but also a little betrayed he had a brother or sister he didn't even know about.
Carly looked down in shame, "I had an abortion." She started to sob loudly
again, "I couldn't let the poor baby stay with me or her father and I could
never give it away. So I did it one day. It was the hardest thing I had to do
but I couldn't do that to some poor kid. They'd be so screwed up if they knew
their parents and I hope that god doesn't hate me. I mean…" Carly wiped her
tears, "In the eyes of some I'm a murderer. I just… I had to do it. I did what I
thought was best." Carly held her hands to her face.
Michael felt even worse now, "Oh, mom." Michael said and hugged her, "You didn't
do anything wrong. You did what you thought was best."
Carly held onto Michael, "I'm not so sure." Carly whispered.
After letting her sob for a few minutes Michael stood and helped Carly up,
"Let's go home."
Carly shook her head as she got up, "And where's that?"
Michael slowly dragged her and said, "With Dad and me." He turned away.
Carly whispered to herself, "I'm not so sure." She pulled the letter back out
and remembered why she got upset in the first place.
Carly and Michael stepped into the house after dark and Jason stood quickly.
When he saw Michael he ran to him, "Thank god! I thought something might have
happened to you." Jason sighed. Carly put the letter back in her pocket and
Jason looked at her angry, "Where did you take him?! I thought something
terrible happened!" Jason shouted.
Michael stood up for her, "Dad, she just wanted me to have fun today."
Jason shot Michael a look, "Go to your room."
Michael fussed but went to his room. He looked at Carly sympathetically before
running upstairs.
Carly looked Jason in the eyes, "I'm sorry."
"Your sorry! Your sorry!? That's not going to cover it! Anything could have
happened to him! Anything!"
Carly finally retaliated, "I'm sorry! I can't say anything more! I wish you
would have told me I was being followed instead Michael had to tell me!"
"If I lose Michael that's it!" Jason yelled, "I've got nothing. I have nothing!"
Jason then said it… the one thing that would really upset her, "He's all I've
got left of Carly!" Jason then regretted it. He saw Carly's surprised and hurt
look. He felt like the biggest jerk, "I'm sorry, Carly. I didn't mean that."
Carly nodded, "Yeah, you did. And your right. "She took a slight breath,"
Because I'm not her. And I'm going so… don't worry about hurting my feelings."
Carly wiped away a tear and slammed the screen door open. She was leaving with
her trusty back pack and security unit. That's all she needed Her heart was
shattering as she walked quickly out of the door.
Jason ran after her and grabbed her wrist spinning her toward him, "Carly! Don't
leave! Please, I'm sorry." Jason pleaded.
Carly pulled her wrist out of his grip, "It's funny you know? I have her face, I
have her smile, and I may even have her laugh… but I'm not her, Jason! There's
nothing left to say but goodbye." She took a deep breath and let it out quickly
as her tears fell faster, "So… goodbye." She said and walked away.
"No!!!" Michael screamed from his attic window.
Carly's heart was completely torn to pieces as she ignored Michael's cries and
screams. Carly never looked back. She just walked away and Jason stood waiting
for her to turn back or say something but she never did. She just… left.
Carly was on yet another bus and hand an old tissue in her hand. She could her
the voices in her head. Michael screaming for his mom to come back and Jason
trying to apologize and it hurt her more than anything she had ever experienced.
She looked out the window and held the tears in her throat as she tried to
ignore those voices. Carly pulled out the letter and read it for the hundredth
time…
Dear Angel,
Hi, sweetie… I've got some bad news. Paige has had another stroke. We don't know
if she’s going to make it much longer. I am so worried that she won't bounce
back this time and I can't find you! She has been asking about you the few words
she manages to utter she calls you… her angel. She misses you and she often
wonders if your ok. God, can you please come to see her. She might not have long
and I can't imagine how you'd feel if you didn't see her.
Love Always,
Kevin
Carly put the letter back in the envelope and looked out the window letting her
mind wonder. She couldn't believe the woman that helped save her life might be
dying or even worse she could be dead. She headed for Florida. They had a
mansion there and they had asked Carly to stay with them but she refused she was
going to go find her past...stupid idea.
Carly took a cab to the estate and she walked up to the front door and rang the
bell. The house was huge and Carly hated being there. Kevin lit up when he saw
her, "Angel!" Kevin grabbed her into a hug, "She'll be so glad to see you."
Carly let out a sigh of relieve, "She's ok?"
"She's going to pull through far as we know." Kevin nodded and smiled.
"Oh thank god." Carly said and hugged him again.
Kevin let Carly in and walked up to Paige's room. Carly stepped into Paige's
room to see Paige sitting in a rocking chair next to her window. Carly closed
the door quietly and dropped her backpack to the floor in the same motion. She
walked over to Paige and Paige gasped when she saw her, "Angel!" Paige said in
her think southern accent. Carly embraced Paige as Paige continued to call her
Angel. Kevin and Paige called her that because that's how they thought of her.
Paige pulled back and brushed Carly's hair back. Carly's hair had grown a little
more since she had seen her last and Carly seemed a little less… stressed. Paige
smiled, "How are you?! What happened?! Are you ok?!"
Carly nodded and told Paige everything. Carly had broken into tears before she
was finished but continued taking a couple of breaks. When she finished she
collapsed into Paige's arms. Paige sat and while holding Carly. They were in the
middle of the room and Kevin came in but Paige signaled him away. Carly finally
shook her head, "I'm sorry. I am here for you and I make it about me." Carly
sniffled and wiped a tear away from the tip of her nose.
Paige grinned, "Oh no I love helping you it makes me feel better."
"But I came here for you not for me."
"I don't mind. Now tell me why did you leave?"
"You really want to know?"
Paige wiped away Carly's continuous tears, "Yes, I really want to know."
Carly laughed, "The main reason I left was because…" Carly sighed, "I wanted
them. I wanted them for me. I mean I wanted Jason and Michael for myself." Carly
began to sob again, "I wanted them to want me instead of her! And it's so stupid
that I wanted something I could never have it."
"Ang… Carly, it seems like they do want you. Especially the boy. You too sound
like you really bonded. I mean look at how you could tell him about the almost
baby." Paige watched as Carly just continued to shake her head and stood,
"Carly, listen you have to go back."
Carly was shocked by Paige's suggestion, "I can't go back! I can never go back.
They don't want me! The woman they want is dead! And she will always be dead! I
can't bring her back and I can't take her place!" Carly shouted.
Meanwhile back home…
Jason pounded on Michael's door one last time realizing Michael wasn't coming
out Jason walked downstairs. He rubbed his face and tried to forget the mean way
he treated Carly. He sat on the couch and places his chin on his fists.
(Blackstreet: Another Level)
I Can't Get You (Out Of My Mind)
It's all right baby
I can't, get you out of my mind
Your love is, one of a kind
You've given so much of yourself
I swear, don't want nobody else)
Jason tried to ignore the voices in his head:
"I'm sorry."
"Your sorry! Your sorry!? That's not going to cover it! Anything could have
happened to him! Anything!"
"I'm sorry! I can't say anything more! I wish you would have told me I was being
followed instead Michael had to tell me!"
"If I lose Michael that's it!" Jason yelled, "I've got nothing. I have nothing!"
Jason then said it… the one thing that would really upset her, "He's all I've
got left of Carly!"
(Baby don't you know that I'll do anything for you
I'll give you my time, give you my heart
Give you the world if you want me to
Life hasn't been easy
Knowing that you love somebody else
Ain't nothing I can do about it
All I have to blame is myself, and I can't)
"I'm sorry, Carly. I didn't mean that."
Carly nodded, "Yea, you did. And your right." She took a slight breath, "Because
I'm not her. And I'm going so… don't worry about hurting my feelings." Carly
wiped away a tear and slammed the screen door open.
(I can't, get you out of my mind
Your love is, one of a kind
You've given so much of yourself
I swear, don't want nobody else
I thought I had you fooled
With the girls and the things that I was putting down
But little did I know
Miss Thang was spreading business all over town
I don't know what she told you
But I bounced upon the love one time
I took her to my house, laid her on the couch
Set it affray, then threw her ass out)
"Carly! Don't leave! Please, I'm sorry." Jason pleaded.
Carly pulled her wrist out of his grip, "It's funny you know? I have her face, I
have her smile, and I may even have her laugh… but I'm not her, Jason! There's
nothing left to say but goodbye." She took a deep breath and let it out quickly
as her tears fell faster, "So… goodbye." She said and walked away.
(So what about the girl in the 6-4
She didn't mean a damn thing to me baby
She needed a ride from the jail
And being the man that I am, I said "you can"
And what about the girl in the drop-top
With the lollipop, at the light, by the bus stop
You musta been fooled into thinkin the kid was slack
Girl I did my thing, but now I want my baby back
Girl I can't)
Jason sat trying not to think about goodbye. This couldn't be goodbye. He just
got her back they were getting along. She was beginning to make this her home
just like he wanted too. Every time he could see her smile and hear laugh.
(I can't, get you out of my mind
Your love is, one of a kind
You've given so much of yourself
I swear, don't want nobody else
Damn, just picked the wrong time to mess up
From the time you left me, up until this moment
I just couldn't get you off my mind
But I know if we can start all over again
I know things won't be the same
I can make it better, I swear, I swear
Girl, I swear)
He remembered the few short days they had together and then he saw how it all
ended. Him and her yelling at each other and her leaving. That hurt and scared
look she gave him like she couldn't do it. Like she didn't want too and then her
pain took over and she left. Maybe for good and he couldn't blame her.
({I can't, get you out of my mind
Your love is, one of a kind
You've given so much of yourself
I swear, don't want nobody else
{repeat until end})
Jason's tears fell as he realized he lost Carly… again.
Carly felt herself exhausted when she finally let all those feelings out she
realized how clear she felt about everything. Paige looked at Carly trying to be
the understand. Carly took in a few deep breaths and looked away. She knew right
then how much she loved Jason and Michael. They really were her family. Just not
the way they all expected her too. Carly felt her heart pound as the thoughts
filled her mind. Paige smiled and hugged Carly, "Go back."
"I can't. I left them. They won't want me back." Carly sniffled.
"They want you. Now go back." Paige instructed.
"If I do I can't pretend that nothing happened. I disappeared fourteen years ago
it's not as though nothing happened. I have go to find out what happened to
Carly. I mean me. I have to find out. And I'm going to… for my family." Carly
stated more determined than ever, "But I'm going to stay until I know your all
right."
"No!" Paige exclaimed and startled Carly, "I mean I want you to find out about
everything and when your finished bring that precious little boy to see me, ok?"
"Ok." Carly hugged Paige and thanked her again before exiting, "I love you."
Carly saw Paige as her real mother but never told her.
"I love you too, Carly." Paige smiled and Carly vanished. While running down the
stairs Carly put on her backpack. Kevin saw Carly burst out of the doors. Kevin
followed quickly, "Carly! Where are you going?!" Kevin yelled after her.
Carly smiled as she turned back. Walking backwards she told Kevin, "I'm going
home!"
Michael sat at his window all night waiting for some sign that she was coming
back. The sun woke him up and he didn't leave the window all day. He could only
think, "She's got to come back. She's coming back." Michael had even said it to
himself a few times. He looked out his window not uttering a word to Jason and
ignoring the bang on the door. Then he saw a dark figure coming out of the
fields close to their house. He squinted his eyes and then his spirits lifted,
"It's her!" He said aloud and ran to his door. Michael opened it and pushed his
way past Jason. He ran downstairs as fast as he could and out the front door. He
waited on the porch anxiously as Carly made her way out of the fields.
Carly stopped when she saw Michael. Michael slowly approached her and she knelt
down to him, "Hey ya, Kid." She smiled.
Michael felt like he was little again and his mom had just come home, "I knew
you wouldn't leave!"
"Actually I did." Carly said and pulled back, "But I came back. Because we have
to figure out what happened. So I'll help you if you help me, agreed?" Carly
stuck out her hand.
"Agreed." Michael shook her hand and she stood.
Carly saw Jason just coming out of the house and said only one thing, "Agreed."
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