Always and Forever
By Jennifer

Angel19813@aol.com

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything! It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. I beg you not to sue me. I am just trying to express my love for the show.

Summary: Buffy and Angel. I don’t want to spoil it.

Spoilers: A little bit from Graduation Part 2

This is my first attempt so please be open minded :) Now on with the story. I hope you enjoy it.



As he turned to walk away I felt my whole world slip from under my feet. How could he do this to me? I love him so much and he can walk away from all that I did for him. Everything I gave up for him. He doesn't even have the decency to say good-bye to me. I risked my life so that he could live. How selfish of him to walk away.

My blood flowed within his dead body. I gave my whole self to him and he couldn't even say good-bye. Willow doesn't know how lucky she has it. She and Oz can go in the sun, make love to each other, and not worry what the consequences will be if they have one moment of happiness together. She doesn't have to worry about loosing the one thing in the world you love and care for. Someone you would do anything for and in return have him tell you that he doesn't want to be with you. But it doesn't matter to me that Angel can't go into the sun or that we can't experience true happiness together. I just want him in my life. I fell like everything inside of me is shutting down. Who am I without Angel? Who is going to protect me, watch my back, and give me cryptic warnings before a major event happens on the hellmouth. Now I have to patrol alone. I don't have anyone there with me.

He won't be by my side anymore. But all of that is gone. And he threw it away. I guess he doesn't love me as much as I love him.

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How could I do this to her? She is the only thing that I love. She taught me how to love. How to feel for someone. But it's unfair to her. She
needs someone who can give her everything that I can't. I hope she knows that everything good from me came from her and her love. I don't even know how she found it in her heart to forgive me after all that I did to her and her friends. But I need to go. I left my phone number under her pillow. I gave her whistlers number. I will be staying there for some time before I find a place of my own. I told her in a letter not to use it unless there is a major emergency.

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Mom was away at some art thing for half of the summer. I'm really glad. I don't feelå like explaining. I really need to be alone. As I went to lay my head on my pillow I noticed something sticking out from under my pillow. I pulled it out and noticed Angels writing.


Dear Buffy,

I will never forget you. But I hope that you will forget me. I want you to move on and find someone outside of the darkness and monsters. I will always love you and I hope you realize this is only for your good. My number is attached so you can call me in case of a major emergency. Please only use it for that reason. I will try and write you sometime.

Love Always and Forever,
Angel

As I laid the letter down I had tears filled in my eyes. How could I ever get over him? He was the one thing that kept me from going insane. I really hope he writes......

*10 years later

"Mike this has to end, I don't want to see you again and don't call me!" As Buffy hung up the phone from yet another failed relationship she took in a deep sigh.

She looked at the ring Angel gave her. She had never taken it off. And she had never stopped thinking about him. Mike was a great guy but he just didn't compare. She had kept Angels phone number in her jewelry box and looked at it every night thinking about if she should or shouldn't call him.

She was still the slayer but every prophecy that had ever come up she fought it and always won. But she was keeping a secret from everyone.

Willow went off to Oxford but came back after 4 years and opened up a softwarecompany a few blocks away from the High School. Buffy didn't talk to Willow that much. But sometimes they would call each other and catch up.

No one knew where Xander went. After Graduation he left and once in a while there would be a letter from him with no return address.

Giles still worked in the library and he would always tell Buffy if there was a prophecy coming up. They didn't talk as much.

Buffy’s mom left because she couldn’t handle Sunnydale anymore. Every friend she had made always ended up dying. She left the house to Buffy and once in a while called.


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When Buffy walked into the hospital she knew she was going to get bad news. When the doctor came in she could tell by the look on her face.

"How much more time do I have?" Buffy knew the cancer hadn't gone away.

"About one month"

Buffy knew how she wanted to die.

As soon as Buffy got home she went to her jewelry box and retrieved Angel's phone number. She didn't know if he was going to be there or not. He might have found a new place to live. He told her that he would write her once in a while but he never did.

As she dialed the numbers thoughts ran through her mind. What if Angel moved on? What if he had a girlfriend? What if he was dead?

"Hello" there was an answer. It sounded just like Angel.

"H..Hello" Buffy could baely get the word out.

"If this is a salesperson I don't want anything." But just as he finished talking he herd a small cry at the other end.

"BUFFY?" Angel practically yelled into the phone.

"Angel, I need you."

"Buffy, what's going on? Did someone hurt you?"

"No, I just need you to come see me." Buffy didn't want to explain over the phone.

"OK. I'll leave tonight. I'll be there before sunrise" Angel hung up

Buffy knew it was the right thing. She wanted to see his face before she died. And she had so many unanswered questions.

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She herd someone knock on the door and she knew it was Angel. She ran to the door and saw him standing there. She couldn't stand it anymore. Her knees gave out and she fell on the floor and started to uncontrollably cry. She couldn't stop.

Angel was right there. He picked her up and carried her to her room right away. He could notice how sick she looked.

When he got her into her bed she curled up. As Angel turned to go downstairs. He heard her speak.

"Why?" was all Buffy could say.

He immediately turned around and looked at her with those beautiful brown eyes. He knew exactly what she meant.

"Why did you leave me. Why."

Still Angel couldn't respond. He really didn't have a good answer.

"Angel how could you? I gave every piece of me to you and all you did was turn away and leave me! I loved, love you so much. I cry myself to sleep every night. I always look out the window thinking you will come back to me someday. But you never did. You weren't supposed to leave me. When I needed a shoulder to cry on you weren't there. I had to fight alone! Do you know how much pain I have been in? Do you have any idea?"

Still Angel just looked at her. He didn't want to leave her, he never did. But he thought it was for the best.

"TALK TO ME!" Buffy was shouting at the top of her lungs.

"I love you. I always have" That's all he could say.

"Then why did you leave me?"

"I thought it was for the best. I wanted you to have what I couldn't give you." He knew she had heard that answer over and over again. But that's all he could say, that was his only answer.

"Angel, I'm dying." The words hit him like cold water. He walked to her and just held her as she cried on his chest.

When she finally fell asleep Angel laid her down and covered her with her blankets. He couldn't believe what she just told him. How could Buffy be dying? She was the strongest person he had ever met. Not just because she was the slayer but because she could handle everything. (or so he thought.)

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When she woke up Angel was right by her side. He could see a small smile form on her face.

“I love you so much.”

“Buffy, what’s going on?” Angel needed an answer.

“I have cancer Angel. I am going to die in a few weeks.” Tears started rolling down her cheeks.

“What do you mean? There has to be some kind of treatment. Can’t they do something.”

“Angel” Buffy cut him off. “I’ve been through all the treatment. I’ve suffered all that I could but now it’s my time to go Angel. And I want to spend my last weeks with you.” Buffy noticed tears coming from Angels eyes. “Please don’t cry for me. I need your love right now. Please stay with me.”

“Of corce I will.” Angel answered immediately.

Buffy laid her head on his chest and they laid there together holding each other until they both fell asleep.

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In the morning Buffy woke up right next to Angel in her dark room. She untangled herself and went down stairs. She couldn’t believe he was here. Her guardian Angel was here to stay with her.

After she had breakfast she walked upstairs and saw Angel sitting up in his bed. She could tell by his look that he was worried and scared.

“How am I going to live without you?” Angel asked her as she stood in front of the door.

“I know you can live without me. You did it before.”

“But I was nothing before I met you.” Angel answered.

“Please promise me that you won’t do anything dumb when I die. Like think about getting a tan.”

“I promise.” He walked to her and picked her up and laid her down on the bed and kissed her. She was so happy to have him in her arms again.

*3 weeks later*

Buffy was getting really sick. Angel could tell her time was coming soon.

Every night he would read to her and tell her story’s from his life long ago. He was very careful with her when they kissed or held each other. They spent every second of the day and night together. Sometimes Angel would leave to go get Buffy flowers.

One night he went to go out to get Buffy a movie to watch. But when he returned there was Buffy lying in her bed motionless. He immediately ran to her side, dropping the movie on the floor. He took her in his arms and whispered her name into her ear.

She opened her eyes slightly. “Angel, I love you. Never forget that.”

He could barley hear her. She reached up to touch his face but her hand dropped and her eyes shut.

“BUFFY, don’t leave me! I love you so much.”Angel was screaming at the top of his lungs. Hoping that somehow she would wake up.

He just sat there with her in his arms and he cried for hours not letting her go. He couldn’t believe that his one true love was gone.

*1 week later, at Buffys grave.*

“Well, here I am.” Angel said to himself walking towards Buffy’s grave. “ I never thought that I would have to do this. We’ve been through so much together. I can’t even tell you how much I love you and miss you. You are my everything. I know I promised you that I wouldn’t do anything to myself after you died but I just can’t live on this earth without you beside me.” He placed some flowers on her grave and waited for the sun to rise. “I hope that wherever you are we will meet. I love you.”

As the sun came up Angel felt no pain. He just thought of Buffy.

The End

*Send feedback PLEASE!!!!!!!!! This was my first attempt so be nice.*