It’s Your Love
By Deanie (Deaniebtvs@aol.com)
SPOILER WARNING: The entire Buffy and Angel relationship. References to "Welcome
to the Hellmouth," "Amends," "Becoming," and "Angel."
RATING: PG
FEEDBACK: Pretty please with sugar on top? I’m a feedback junkie.
CONTENT: Buffy/Angel romance, with a hint of angst
DISTRIBUTION: Just ask
SUMMARY: Angel and Buffy are dancing in the dark, and he’s struggling to find the
words to tell her how he feels.
Disclaimer: Buffy and Angel don’t belong to me (although if Joss is willing to sell…)
They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox and the WB television
network. I’m just borrowing them for a while…and they’ll be returned when I’m done
putting them through the emotional wringer. I’m not making any money off of this,
so don’t sue. No copyright infringement is intended
"It’s Your Love" doesn’t belong to me, either. It’s written by Stephony
Smith and copyright EMI Blackwood music. It’s sung by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill on
the CD "Everywhere" and by She Moves on the CD "Breaking All The Rules."
Please note…this fic takes place sometime when Buffy and Angel were together and
happy…that would probably have to be in an alternate universe. I don’t know when
it would take place in the Buffy canon. It’s also my first happy fic.
We’re alone in my living room with the radio playing a song, one of my favorites.
It’s one I can relate to, because it expresses just how I feel about Buffy;
what I would say if I could find the words.
She feels so good, as I hold her close in my arms and we dance to the music, pressed
together tightly, moving as one. Her arms are so small, so delicate, but they’re
holding me so tightly. I’m so amazed that she could love me. But she does. She loves
me as much as I love her. It’s a miracle.
"Buffy?" I whisper in her ear.
"Hmm?"
"Are you listening to the song?"
"Not really. It’s hard to pay attention to anything else when you’re holding
me."
Her words fill me with joy as she snuggles closer.
"You should," I whisper.
**Dancing in the dark, middle of the night
Taking your heart and holding it tight
Emotional touch, ooh, touching my skin
Asking you to do what you’ve been doing all over again**
My life is never more perfect than when I’m holding her. She’s so soft and warm,
cuddled in my arms. I never thought we could get to this point again, but we did.
We’re together at last.
The radio’s playing the perfect song, saying words that I can’t. I was never any
good at sharing my feelings. Maybe that’s because men weren’t supposed to I was growing
up, or maybe I’ve been holding things inside me so long I don’t remember how to get
them out. I wish I could find the words to tell Buffy how I love her. But I can’t.
So I’ll show her, here in my arms, while we’re dancing in the candlelight.
**It’s a beautiful thing, don’t think I can keep it all in
Just gotta let you know what it is that won’t let me go**
In the beginning, I tried so hard to stay away from her. I lurked in the shadows,
just watching her. She was so beautiful, so strong, and I couldn’t turn away from
her. I had to protect her, to make sure she was safe. But I never thought I’d get
the chance meet her.
I couldn’t stop myself from helping her. Up close, that night in the alley when I
gave her the cross, she was even more beautiful than she had seemed from afar. She
was so tiny, so delicate. I was amazed that such a petite girl could be chosen to
slay the world’s demons. After that, I tried to stay away from her…tried to restrict
myself to the shadows where I belonged. But I couldn’t…I couldn’t let her go.
I tried to stay back, just dropping in from time to time to give her information
she could use in her daily battle against the forces of darkness. But the night she
faced The Three, I had to intervene -- I just couldn’t let her die. Later, in her
room, I shouldn’t have stayed all night, but it felt so good…to stay there, by her
bed, watching over her all night, listening to her heartbeat. I should have left
the next night, before she got home, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave…and I definitely
should have left before I kissed her, but I couldn’t. At that moment, I needed her
more than anything I’ve ever needed. Pulling away from her would have taken more
strength than I ever possessed…because I loved her…I realized then that my attempts
to keep my distance were futile, because I loved her.
**It’s your love, just does something to me
Sends a shock right through me
Can’t get enough
So if you wonder, about the spell I’m under
It’s your love**
Her love is a spell…even more so
than the curse ever was. The spell of her love makes me want to be someone,
someone worthy of her love. She makes me strive for something better, something I
never knew was deep inside myself. My life has changed so much because of her.
And I can’t get enough of her. Being with her twenty-four hours a day, seven days
a week wouldn’t be enough. Every time I see her, a little thrill goes through my
body, like an electric shock. It’s this indescribable feeling… like a thrill of pure
joy going straight to my heart.
**Better than I was, more than I am
And all of that happened by taking your hand
And who I am now, is who I’ve wanted to be
Now that we’re together, stronger than ever, happy and free**
I’m more than I ever thought I could be when I’m by her side. Before her, I was
nothing, a useless creature living on rats in a dank alley. After seeing her, I became
someone. She gave me the courage to become someone important…someone I never dreamed
I could become. She still inspires me to reach for greatness.
As a human, my dreams revolved around who would buy the next round at the pub and
which comely wench I could entice into my bed. Not really a great person…in fact,
not even a decent human being. Then, I became a demon… And then I got my soul back.
It’s been a very long road, but thanks to her, I’ve finally reached a place where
I’m beginning to like who I am. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been, both physically
and emotionally. I’m living a life of good, fighting evil instead of creating it.
Because of her, because of her love I’m becoming the person I’m destined to be.
**Oh, it’s a beautiful thing, don’t think I can keep it all in
And you ask me why I’ve changed, all I have to do is say your sweet name**
From the first moment I saw her, I knew she would change me. That’s why Whistler
brought me to her, to show me the girl that would be my greatest joy. I didn’t know
much that day, but I knew I couldn’t let her fight alone. I couldn’t take the chance
that anything would hurt her if I had the power to stop it. That’s why I changed,
at first, to be able to protect her and watch over her. Later, I was changing because
I wanted to become the person I was in her eyes.
**It’s your love, just does something to me
Sends a shock right through me
Can’t get enough
So if you wonder, about the spell I’m under
It’s your love**
Her love is all that I’ve ever dreamed of. She’s my soulmate…Most vampires don’t
even have a soul, but I’m privileged enough to have not only a soul, but a soulmate.
She’s the other half of my heart. She completes me. When I look in her eyes, I’m
home.
**It’s a beautiful thing, don’t think I can keep it all in
I’ve just gotta let you know what it is that won’t let me go**
I wish I could find the words to say all of this to Buffy. To let her know what
she means to me, how she’s changed my life. I wish I knew how to tell her that despite
the horror and pain being a vampire has brought to my life, it’s worth it, because
I have her. She’s my destiny.
**It’s your love, just does something to me
Sends a shock right through me
Can’t get enough
So if you wonder, about the spell I’m under
It’s your love
It’s your love
It’s your love
It’s your love**