The Long, Hard Road Out of Hell
By Jessica

SPOILER WARNING: This takes place right after the event in "Beauty and the Beasts" when Angel kills Pete and drops to his knees hugging Buffy. This is my interpretation of what might happen afterwards, before the episode "Homecoming."
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNING: This contains some kissing, and aftermath of pain and torture (Angel).
SUMMARY: Buffy helps to reconcile and help Angel remember his life before spending (in Hell time) hundreds of years in Hell, where he was always tortured and in pain.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the BTVS characters, I'm just borrowing them, and they will return unharmed (for the most part). They belong to Joss Whedon, 20th Century Fox Television, and Mutant Enemy.


She stood there as he held her. Both of them were crying, Angel because he finally remembered something, and Buffy because she knew her Angel would be okay. He wouldn't be a lost cause, with a little help and a lot of time he would heal. After all they always say, "Time heals all."

Buffy slowly knelt down on her knees and without a word wrapped her arms around Angel. "It's me, it's me," she murmured. She was sobbing now, for she loved him and even though she thought she had let it go, it was all taken back in an instant.

Angel looked down at her, with a remorseful look on his face, and collapsed in her arms. Buffy got up and very carefully carried him to the old, abandoned mansion. There she removed the chains that were still on his wrists. She lay him down on the floor and put her arms around him as she stroked back his messed up hair.

Buffy stayed with him while he slept, battered with dreams of Hell, until she knew she had to go to school. She left him there and got up, she was pretty sure he wouldn't leave, if he woke up that is.

************

After school she made up some excuse to go home, instead of meet Giles and "the gang" in the library. *After all, she told herself, Faith would be there as the Slayer.* She walked slowly back to the mansion, where Angel was. She had to think about a lot of things., *First off, if I do get him back, what do I do about Scott? I mean, he is a nice guy and I really like him, but Angel would come first.* She knew in her heart that was
so very true, Angel would be her first, and now that he was back, her only love.

She reached the mansion and stepped inside. There she saw Angel, asleep, on the floor where she had left him. Instead of looking peaceful as he normally did when he slept, before all this, his powerful body was shaking, moaning, and wrenching as he repeatedly had nightmares.

Buffy went over to him and massaged his back, his skin was so------ discolored and hot. Angel did not stir. She went over to a wall and sat down leaning against it. There she sat watching him, waiting for him to wake up. She didn't have to wait long, because just as the sun set, he began to stir. He woke up with a start, and looked around, frantically. Buffy went over to him. As soon as he saw her he relaxed a little bit. Buffy
put her arms around him and held him as he sat there whimpering, like a hurt animal.

Angel then looked up at her. "Buffy?" he asked. She nodded, tears starting to form in her eyes. Angel looked at her again, trying to remember. Then he spoke, " I...I was in....H..Hell." Buffy looked at him shocked, then nodded. " You sent me there, b..because of A...Ac..athla, I.... I woke him up," he continued.

Buffy was amazed that just a day ago he was acting like a savage beast, and now he was actually remembering what happened. " I forgive you," he said. "What?" Buffy asked in astonishment. ''How can you forgive me after I sent you to Hell, look what it did to you?" she further went on. " It wasn't your fault..... I deserved i..it after what I did," he replied."No you didn't, the demon did, it was him who did all those things, you were
sent to Hell with a soul," Buffy told him. "How can you remember all this? You were down there for such a long time.....," she stated quietly. Angel looked at her with a distant look. "That was part of my Hell, to remember, the bad things, but in the process I remembered you, how I hurt you," he said.

Buffy sat there, she started to sob. "I love you," she said through her tears. Angel stared at her for a moment then began sobbing too. "I love you," he said. Buffy then knew that this was only the beginning. She still had to tell Giles that Angel was in fact out of Hell and that she hadn't just had a dream. She knew that Giles would absolutely not be thrilled to have him back, Angel was the one who killed his lover, Jenny Calendar, and on
top of that Angel had tortured him. Xander hated Angel's guts to begin with so he wouldn't be happy to know that Angel was back. Willow didn't have to much against him, besides the fact that he had tried to kill her and that he had killed her beloved goldfish.

Buffy also realized that even though Angel remembered, he still would be shaken up for a long time. He was in Hell for hundreds, thousands of years and even though he was strong as he had proven he still would need time and help before he would resemble the old Angel. Buffy immediately appointed herself as his "counselor." She would try to get Giles to help her with what she would need to know. Giles as always would prove
useful to her in his knowledge of demons. She also wondered how Faith would fit in. She still hadn't told Faith about her past with Angel, part of her was afraid of what the other Slayer would think about another slayer having a love affair with a vampire. She knew that Faith would
probably not care, after all even Kendra had accepted it. She knew Faith could help her with protecting him, but that wasn't a huge job to say the least.

Willow with her slight knowledge of the Black Arts might prove useful to her, she might know of important things about the demon realm that she would need. Xander she wouldn't tell if she could avoid it. There was no use in getting him worked up over Angel.

Buffy sighed. She also noticed that Angel had dozed off again. * Poor baby, he's just like a scared child,* she thought. She carefully got up and placed a pillow under his head and blanket over him, that she had taken from home. Buffy walked out of the mansion. She had a lot of work to do.

Buffy went home and took a pad of paper and a pen out. She had to have somewhere to begin in Angel's "healing." She took the pen and wrote: 1. Tell him about his past, make sure he remembers. 2. Get Giles to counsel him in dealing with pain.

Buffy then tore off the paper. This was wrong. She was making helping Angel sound like the job of the week. She knew that she and maybe Giles would help him but she didn't have to make it official and on paper. Buffy sighed and lay down on her bed. "What in the world am I going to tell Scott?" she wondered. Scott was a really nice guy, and it was evident that he had really liked her. She liked him, and even more importantly he's human.

Buffy thought about that last line. "Scott was human." She had loved Angel, he was a vampire, but she had loved him with her whole heart and soul. She accepted that he was immortal. Scott however was mortal, he would be able to walk in the day, see himself in a mirror, and eat garlic. But he also wouldn't be able to do other things. Things like watching her back in a fight, understand the pressure she was under, be there with his
knowledge about demons. That was another thing, she still hadn't told Scott she was a vampire slayer. She hadn't seen the need.

Buffy sighed again. She needed to sleep. She closed her eyes and she slept.

**************

The next day at school Buffy took Giles aside. "Giles I need to talk to you," she told him.

"Yes Buffy, what is it?" the middle aged librarian replied. "Well uh, do you remember when I told you I had a dream where Angel, uh, came back from Hell?" said Buffy. "Yes," said Giles. "Well, uh, the reason I asked you that is, well, it wasn't a dream. He really is back," she told him. "Are you sure?" asked Giles. "Yeah, way sure, see he's at the mansion if you want to see for yourself," she replied. "Good God, how could this have happened?" asked Giles. "Well I don't know, I found him in the cemetery when I was looking for another werewolf, I brought him to the mansion and chained him up, because like you said, he was like this savage. He wouldn't respond to anything. He was a vicious animal. Then when Pete tried to kill me, he showed up and killed Pete than dropped to his knees hugging me, saying my name," she said. "My, my," stammered Giles. "So what do you want me for?" "I need your help to--- well help him cope. How do I do this?'' Buffy said.

Giles thought for a moment. "Well Buffy, as I said it would take a person with lots of strength in character to survive Hell and bear any resemblance of self, I guess Angel has proven that. I would say you need to be there for him. He loves you, or loved you, and with you there it would do tremendous things for him to...... heal. You also need to help him remember who he is, who he was," Giles advised. "With any luck, he may actually resemble his old self. I'm assuming he still has his soul, right?" "Yeah, right, otherwise he wouldn't have hugged me and come back messed up," replied Buffy curtly.

Buffy left the library for class.

After school she immediately left for the mansion after saying good-bye to Scott. She hurried inside and was relieved to see Angel there, awake. He looked up with a growl upon sensing an intruder. "Angel, shhhh, it's me," said Buffy. Angel looked at her and relaxed. "Wh..what were you doing?" she asked him. "Angel looked at her and then replied, "I was thinking." "About what?" she asked gently. "Hell. You. Me," he said. Buffy looked at him with tears in her eyes. "Why?" she asked. " I needed to," he said.

"Angel, do you remember us, before you lost your soul?" Buffy asked tentatively. "Yes. I do," replied Angel quietly. Buffy was overjoyed, he remembered. "I loved you, we made love, then I lost my soul," he said. He then began to cry. Buffy instantly grabbed him and
hugged him hard. "I hurt you so much. I tried to kill you and your friends. I succeeded in killing Jenny Calendar," he said through his tears. "But, that wasn't you, that was the demon," Buffy said through her own tears. "Angel, when you got your soul back, the second time, I was so happy, until I realized what I had to do, then I wanted time to stop except for you and me, we'd be together," Buffy said. "I'm so sorry, Angel. I am so
unbelievably sorry." Angel looked at her, with gentle eyes, he said, "Buffy, I forgive you, you did what you had to do and I am proud of you. God, Buffy I love you so much."

With gentle hands he stroked her cheek, as her hands smoothed his rumpled hair. She leaned in, slowly, and kissed him. He kissed her back. The two kissed as if there were no tomorrow. As they held each other and kissed they knew everything would be all right. Nothing else mattered anymore.

In the doorway stood Scott. He watched Buffy kiss this man, who was not wearing a shirt he noticed. His heart filled with pain, as he realized this was the old boyfriend who had also given her that funky ring, this was the man she truly loved. He watched her for a few moments before leaving. He thought to himself, " Buffy's a great girl, but now I see that her heart belongs to someone else." Scott walked away, after all there were still a lot of other girls at Sunnydale High.

The End :)

Author's Note: The timing in this story isn't right. It would have taken much longer than a day to remember, but I needed that to work with the story, as our favorite writer, Joss, has proven, it would take a lot more time before they even kissed after Angel got back from Hell. I also made Giles' reaction far too nice. Giles did not approve of Angel being back, he hated the idea in the episode "Revelations." I also don't technically own the title, I swear I didn't know that the title was the same as Marilyn Manson's autobiography.