Making Peace
Jessica

SPOILER WARNING: I'm still going through therapy, so this all relates to "I Will Remember You", and I throw in stuff from "Surprise" and "Becoming 2". That'd be it!
RATING: TV-14, if you watch the show, you can read this.
CONTENT WARNING: Nothing bad.....mostly happiness, a little angst (which goes away in a few sentences). Just know, Buffy and Angel are *in* bed......
DISCLAIMER: I do not own them (sadly), Joss, the acid addict, does. So don't sue me 'cause all you'll get is a roll of Life Savers and some old copies of TV Guide.
NOTES: This is my take on what conversation Buffy and Angel could have had in the scene after the infamous chocolate and peanut butter one.
FEEDBACK: Yes, please!!! (No flames though, only praise and/or constructive criticism)

I lay comfortably in his arms, absentmindedly drawing circles on his chest with my fingers. The rhythmic, steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen in all my eighteen years. I am in heaven. For now, I'm trying to focus on *now*, but I can't help as my mind drifts to other things.

"Angel, we're gonna make this work, right?" I ask, knowing in my heart what his answer will be, but I need to reassured and hear it for myself.

"Of course. One way, or another we'll work it out. I am not going to ever let you go again," he whispers to me soothingly. I smile against his chest and stretch my arm around his torso. I am overtaken my emotion. I am so incredibly happy that my dreams have come true; I'm lying in Angel's arms after making mad passionate love, on a kitchen table, no less. But there's one corner of my mind that remembers the last time we were like this. Of course it's not the same, he's human and nothing can happen. Unbeknownst to myself I start to cry.

"Baby? What's wrong?" Angel asks worriedly.

"Why don't you hate me?" I blurt out before I can stop myself. I look up at him and he his staring at me wide-eyed, as if he's in shock.

"Hate you? How---what? I could never---what do you mean?" he tries to get out.

"My birthday, if I hadn't pushed so much....if I had listened to you, you would never have lost your soul," I whisper softly. I feel his arms tighten around me as he kisses my temple.

"Buffy, listen to me. What happened that night was no one's fault. There was no way we could have known what would happen. It was bound to happen sooner or late," he tells me, "And, Buffy, I love you so much. There's no possible way on this earth I could ever hate you. For anything."

"But I sent you to Hell----" I protest. How could he not hate me? I hated myself for it.

"No! Buffy, you did what you had to do, and I'm proud of you. It was my own fault for awakening Acathla," he insists. I squeeze my eyes shut as more tears threaten to spill from my eyes. This conversation was long overdue. We never spoke of any of these things last year, and I knew in my heart, they needed resolution.

"But---you were confused. I had just gotten you back, and I just killed you. I could have at least explained why I was doing that......" I persist. There's still a part of me that refuses to believe his love is unconditional.

"Buffy, it wouldn't have mattered. You did what you thought was best---"

"--I betrayed your trust."

"No, you saved the world by making a sacrifice. Even if you had told me I would have still made you run that sword through me. There's no way I would let you along with the world be sucked into Hell," he finished. I wince at the mention of Hell. God only knows the horrors he had to endure there.

"I just can't believe you don't hold some form of resentment against me," I whisper, mostly to myself.

"There's no way I could ever hate you. You are the world to me, Buffy. You know that," he assures me. I finally realize the heavy feeling that had always been in my chest was now gone. That guilt that I had been carrying around with me was resolved. This time I felt flooded by emotions of love that I had never known before. Unrestrained love. Love without fear.

"Angel, promise me you'll never let me go. Promise me we'll be together now."

"I promise, Beloved," he answers with a kiss on my head. I settle my head on his chest and feel myself falling asleep when one more thought crosses my mind.

"Angel? Do you think you'll need to get a new kitchen table?"

The End!