"...I've Never Loved Anything Else."
By Jessica

SPOILER WARNING: This is a Willow and Oz story, so assume any crucial episodes that involved them directly. Especially "Wild At Heart", "Phases", and "Graduation 1 & 2".
RATING: PG-13, just to be on the safe side.
CONTENT WARNING: A little happiness, sadness, and reflecting. Though part of that may include some mention of sex....and, like, one "bad" word.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Willow or Oz, or any other "Buffy" character. They belong solely to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and 20th Century Fox Television. Happy now?
NOTES: While I am a firm supporter of Buffy and Angel (as you can see if you've read any of my other stories), I also love Willow and Oz. They're just so damn cute together! So, imagine my sorrow when I watched "Wild At Heart". For Willow and Oz lovers out there, it was like watching "Becoming 2" or "The Prom" for us B/A fans! Oh yeah, this is Willow's POV, in case you couldn't tell.

So this is how Buffy felt. Like your heart had just been torn out and stomped on a zillion times.

He actually left. How could he do that? Didn't he know that I loved him more anything? He was the one thing in my life I thought I could depend on.

For God's sakes, I gave him my virginity.

So tonight, I was taking "me" time. I took Buffy's advice and bought a big gallon of Cookies 'N Cream ice cream, along with a rented copy of Beaches. Was it defeating the purpose of feeling depressed if I had a picture of Oz rights next to me on the nightstand? I popped the tape into my VCR and sped through the ancient previews. As the movie started, I thought about when I first met Oz----Career Week.

He was just so......unique. He was in a band, he had hair that changed colors every week. He was sweet, but more importantly, took a bullet for me. Then, later, thanks to Buffy's urging I talked to him, and we went on our first date: Buffy's surprise party. Of course theoccasion kind of ended with an arm in a box, but hey, we all still had a little fun.

Then we all found out Oz was a werewolf. I couldn't believe that I didn't care, I must have been on the Hellmouth for too long. It was so weird, I just knew I.....really liked him, and even after what had happened to Buffy and Angel, I still wanted to be with Oz. So I kissed him. It was a whole new experience, I'd never been that upfront in my life, I've always been very timid.

Oh why did Barbara Hershey have to be so much like me??? Or at least her character was, Hillary. Hillary was so timid, very conservative and obedient, just like me. And then she met the theater director and fell in love---and had to leave. So then Hillary finds this lawyer guy she works with...and they get married, and are really happy. Then he cheats.

God damn, Veruca!!!!!

I fast forward in my mind to when Acathla was going to swallow the world, thanks to Angelus. I had been knocked out by a falling bookcase and landed in the hospital. Oz was right there, kissing my head and assuring me it didn't look like a beach ball. I also remember his name was the first thing I said when I woke up. I think it was then when I realized I loved him.

In my head I further fast forward past when we broke up because of me and Xander.....Christmas. (Ok, so I'm Jewish, but it was that time of year) He was willing to give it another try, and I was so freaking happy. He came over on Christmas Eve to watch some videos, and I had foolishly tried to rush into having sex.

I am...no, was.... so lucky to have a boyfriend who realized the time wasn't right.

But our time did come.....during the mayor's attempt at Ascension. God, it had felt so right making love to Oz.....and he was so incredibly sweet about it. I had a new appreciation for Buffy and what she had to endure after Angel lost his soul, for I realized the importance of having your boyfriend wake up with you.

Buffy. She's my best friend in the whole world. I forever owe her my soul for how sweet and loving she was to me when she found out about Oz and Veruca.

Veruca, God, I hate that bitch!

But she's dead now....so I'm calming down.

The movie is just about over. Hillary died, and I sobbed my heart out. Of course it never helps that they have to play "Wind Beneath My Wings" during the funeral scene.

Oz, I love you. Please, please come back to me.

- Willow

I put my journal down and tuck it safely under my mattress.

As I get ready for bed, I lean over and kiss the framed picture of Oz that's on my half of the nightstand I share with Buffy, and go to bed, knowing she is safe on patrol.

"Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're
everything I would like to be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle.
Because you are the wind beneath
my wings.

-"Wind Beneath My Wings"
by Bette Midler