Nothing’s More Painful

By Drew


Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, but they do belogn to Joss Whedon and Company. please don't sue me. Please?

Author’s Notes: This takes place...probably around Go Fish time. Spoiler's for Passion and back probably. Enjoy.

Part 1

Large black clouds encompassed the sky. Thunder clapped down in the ears of people, and bolts of lightning flashed, threatening anyone within it’s path with a fate of death. The rain poured down in droves, crashing against roofs, and slapping against the window sills.

Buffy Summers ran through the graveyard, mud splashing up onto her heels. Tears were present on her face, and they mixed with the many drops of rain which had fallen. Her clothes stuck to her body, and her hair lay flat on her head. The water running down her face.

“Xander!!!” She yelled, looking around frantically. She turned her head, this direction and that, looking for her friend. “Xander!!!” She yelled again tripping over a tree stump. She feel on her chest in the mud, but didn’t let it discourage her. She stood up again and continued running. No sign of him. God, why did she let him do this?

She couldn’t believe he did what he did. Why Xander? she asked in her head repeatedly. Why couldn’t he have just let me do it?

She walked out of the graveyard and into the empty streets of Sunnydale. Not even the vampires were out this night. She looked around, pausing in the middle of the street for a moment. “Xander!!” She called again looking around. Not receiving an answer, she continued to run.

A sudden gust of wind slashed through Buffy’s clothes and attacked her body, sending shivers down her spine. She cringed and continued to run through the empty and docile streets, all alone. She ducked through alleys, calling his name.

“Xander!!” her tears, from her eyes, met the rain and ran down her face, and down to her feet.

The Bronze, lay before her, the doors barred and locked. Closed for the night. She stopped in front of the doors, and looked at them. Then her gaze turned to the small alley behind the Bronze where often times vampires were found. She turned her body in that direction and slowly began on her way down the dark, ominous alley way.

It came to a small, dark clearing where car’s usually sat. None were present. The only street lamp flickered in the rain, not knowing when it wanted to finally shut down and leave the alley in complete darkness. She slowly crept around the small clearing, pulling a stake from her water logged back pack and continued her surveying of the alley. She moved into the shadows slowly. And looked around. Nothing, not even a rat. Suddenly a sound was heard from behind her, a crash. She turned quickly, and saw a small tabby cat, jumping off of a garbage can. Then, silence. She could hear the rain drops coming down on the tin garbage cans, she could even hear it pounding off the cement ground. But no other sounds could be heard.

She moved into the light once more, and suddenly a burst of thunder was heard. Buffy jumped at the sudden noise, she could feel her heart trembling with fear. She turned and began to ran, not having a reason, but she was scared. She ran from the clearing, looking back over her shoulder when suddenly she tripped over her own feet. She came crashing to the ground hard, slamming her chest down hard, the breath was knocked from her lungs. She turned to lie on her back and looked up at the sky a moment, rain drops forcing her eyes shut. She gasped for air and turned onto her stomach once more. The lone street lamp in the alley shone on her back. She regained her breath and opened her eyes slowly. She stared at the rushing rain water beneath her. It flowed evenly, clear and it washed her body over.

It had been raining for only several hours now, but none the less it turned out to be a bad storm. She continued to look down at the water and rested her head in it a moment. She brought her head back up after a number of seconds and brought in a deep breath of air. She looked down at the water as she began to get to her knees, and her heart froze. The water, now ran red. She looked at her pants, stained red. She looked up and saw him, in the shadows.

“Xander?” She quietly whimpered as she got to her feet slowly. She stumbled over to the shadow she saw. A man, definitely, motionless on the ground. She finally reached the shadow, and her eyes widened and tears started to flow faster than before. She squinted her eyes and bit her lip as she sobbed and fell to her knees.

“Xander...” She said through sobs, pressing her hand to his chest. His shirt was wet with rain, and blood. The normally white tee shirt was a discolored red and the blue and white striped shirt he wore was torn and tattered, his jacket hung open at his sides.

Buffy raised her hand to her face and covered her mouth to keep from screaming out. She sobbed again, not knowing what to do. She looked at the hand, removing it from her face, red, stained with Xander’s own blood. She looked at it, lowering her brow in disgust.

“No...” she whispered to herself as she looked back down at her friend. “No.” She cried openly, her tears running clumsily down her face as she struggled to keep from breaking down. Why had she let him do this? He should have never left alone. Buffy cursed inside for not stopping him when she had her chance. And now, she would never hear his voice again. She placed her hand to his cheek. It was cold to her touch. She slowly turned it and looked at his neck. Two small puncture holes occupied a place on his jugular. Buffy’s sob’s slowly ended as she stared at the holes on his neck. her heart pounded, less frantically, and more furiously as the look on her face changed from sorrow, to hatred. Angel.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

It was a beautiful sunny day earlier that morning. The birds sang in the trees and various little woodland creatures chirped about the Sunnydale High School campus. Buffy Summers skipped up the stairs in the parking lot and into the front doors of the school. After a quick trip to her locker she made her way to the library, books tucked under her left arm. She smiled as she entered the library to see her watcher seated in a chair sipping on a cup of tea.

“Hey Giles.” She said smiling as she sat down in a chair at their usual table.

“Oh, uh good morning Buffy.” Giles said looking up from his tea. “You seem...well.” Giles was at a loss for words, he had not seen Buffy so chipper since the day when Angel had become Angelus. A sad day in the hearts of all she held dear. To see her in such pain brought pain to the lives of all of them.

“Yup.” she said with a smile. “No Angel activity last night, and I actually got a reasonable amount of sleep. I’m a happy camper.” she said smiling as she opened one of her books and started to read.

Xander casually stepped into the library, holding his back pack across his shoulder, as always.

“Hey all.” he said casually as he walked in. “Willow’s out today. Throat infection, her parents wouldn’t let her come to school.” he smiled a little as he sat down at the table next to Buffy.

“Yes, well. Buffy, even though it is a Friday, please don’t forget about patrol. Last time you forgot and...”

“Yeah, I know.” Buffy said cutting Giles off. She smiled a little and looked at Xander. “It’s just always so boring.” she said looking back to her studies.

“Hey, I’ll come, keep you company.” He smiled at her as she looked up at him.

“Sure.” She paused. “I could use a good laugh.” That was her first mistake, and one she’d regret for the rest of her life.

“Cool...so I’ll meet you here, tonight at 7?” Xander asked just as the bell rang to go to first class.

Buffy smiled at him. “It’s a date.” She said standing up and walking out of the library to her first class.

Classes went peculiarly long that day, as the beautiful, shining sun, soon gave way to dark, mean looking clouds that threatened storm. Buffy groaned as she walked into the library after school.

“Looks like long patrol tonight.” She said looking out of the window. “I’m guessing...rain, and lots of it.” She said looking back at Giles.

“Yes, It does look to be unpleasent.” he smiled at her and read a book. “But you may go home. Do, homework, eat dinner things like that. but be sure to report her at 7 o’ clock.” He said stiffly looking at his watch. She nodded and walked slowly out of the library, and headed for home.

Part 2

7 o’clock came around and Buffy climbed out of her window, hoping to avoid her mother’s ‘where are you going’ look. She climbed down the tree and headed towards the school. Her guess had been correct. The weather had taken a turn for the worse, rain had started and showed no sign of letting up, and the ominous look of the clouds continued to threaten storm.

She walked through the big doors of the school and headed for the library. She expected a slow night. Boy was she ever wrong. She headed in and saw both Xander and Giles, waiting for her. Xander was ready.

“Hey Buff.” he said walking over to her. “You all ready to go?” he asked. Buffy smiled and nodded.

“Yup.” She said happily as they turned to walk out of the library. Giles wished them luck as they exchanged sets of good byes and walked out.

The weather had even worsened for the few moments Buffy had entered the school. The rain came down harder, pounding on everything in it’s path, the clouds now rumbled and shook, thunder rang out, and lightning came down around them.

“Pleasant...” Xander piped as they walked toward the graveyard. Buffy smiled at him as they walked. they reached the graveyard and began to patrol. Buffy lead the way as Xander followed closely. The rain began to pick up and the two friends were now soaked sitting in a graveyard on a Friday night.

Buffy stalked a vampire as Xander sat on a tombstone and awaited her return. He smiled at her, finally, he thought some alone time with Buffy. A hand reached out and touched his shoulder. Turning, he saw Angel. Xander’s eyes widened with fear as he turned quickly and stood up. “Buffy!” he called, as he saw three other vampires standing in front of him as well.

Buffy turned quickly and saw them. Her eyes shot open and she sprinted to them. The three vampires attacked Xander with a succession of kicks and rapid punches which knocked him to the ground. Buffy ran at them, staking one upon arrival. She kicked the second in the stomach, forcing him to bend over in pain, she rolled along the injured vamps back, and thrust the stake into the thirds heart. She turned back to the second and punched him, sending his upright again. She plunged the stake through his heart quickly. She turned and stared at Angel, hatred planted in her eyes.

Xander stood up and walked behind Buffy, standing directly behind her and matching Buffy’s stare at Angel. Angel returned the glare as the rain bounced off of their faces. The silence between the three was overwhelming, until a clap of thunder was heard and the stare was broken. Angel looked off and Xander dove at him. Punching him. Angel fell to the ground, and Xander took that opportunity. he fell on him and continued to punch, when Angel got frustrated and threw him off. Xander got up again and started to run at him when Angel lunged at him, kicking him in the face. Xander fell flat on his back, as blood came from his mouth. He slowly stood up again and began to run at him..

Buffy grabbed his arm and started to run. Xander protested but Buffy’s grip was strong and she pulled him along, he eventually broke into stride with her as they reached Buffy’s house. She looked around quickly to make sure her mom wasn’t home, and much to her relief she wasn’t. Xander walked in, wet from head to toe, just as Buffy was.

“What the Hell did you do that for?!?!” He asked looking at her, wiping blood from his lip. His anger ran deep, but not for Buffy.

“He would’ve killed you Xander!” she said defensively trying to defend her actions. Her voice turned to soft and she looked at him. “I don’t want you to die.” He looked at her, his eyes soft. He felt sorry for her, but then he remembered why he was so mad and his eyes turned hateful.

“Well I’m not the only one you don’t want dead.” He said coldly looking away from her and heading for the door.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Buffy asked jogging up behind him grabbing his arm and whirling him around to face her.

“Angel, Buffy. Why won’t you kill him?” he asked, a little pissed off. He looked at her, Angel had caused her so much pain, so much agony. But she still couldn’t bring herself to kill him. “He killed Miss. Calendar!” He screamed at her now. Not meaning to hurt her as much as he was.

Buffy cringed inside. How could he be so hurtful with his words. “Xander...” she started softly as she looked down at the floor.

He looked at her a moment, then turned away and opened the door, the rain crashing in front of him. Buffy looked back up. “Where are you going?” She asked quietly, looking at him. His face wet, and drops of rain fell from his hair.

“I’m going to kill Angel. If you won’t....someone needs to.” He walked out of the door and slammed it behind him. He walked off and down the street the rain attacking his every limb. He wiped a tear from his eye as he headed for the graveyard.

Buffy stared at the door, in awe. She began to cry, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her lip quivered as she tried her hardest no to sob. She let him go, which would prove to be her second mistake.

Xander broke into a run towards the graveyard, then wind, preventing it from being an easy jog. It slapped against his face, burning it combined with the pounding of the rain. He arrived at the cemetery and looked around. His heart raced, his chest moved up and down quickly as he breathed heavily.

“Angel!” He screamed looking around. He saw no one. He continued to walk around the graveyard as another clap of thunder was heard over head. “Angel!!!” he screamed again as he looked around. His throat was horse, and sore, but he didn’t stop. “Angel!!!” Suddenly, on his search, he stopped dead in his tracks and turned around slowly, seeing him standing in the rain, not too far fromhim. Angel looked up at him and smirked. He slowly
walked towards Xander.

“Xander.” He said calmly as he approached him. Another clap of thunder was heard followed by a flash of lightning. “You came back.”

Part 3

Xander looked at him, so many emotions poured through his body at this point. Hate, love, fear...the list went on and on. The wind attacked Xander through his open jacket, seemingly chilling all the way to the bone. He shivered, not sure whether it was the cold or being in the presence of such a monster. Xander became frustrated and thrust his knee into the stomach of Angel, taking the vampire off guard.

Xander knew not what he had just done, for he had annoyed Angel. Angel flung back up, his game face present and he smirked. “Bad move Xander...you should’ve kept running.” Angel thrust his fist forward striking Xander in the jaw. Drops of water flew from his face as the fist connected jerking it backward. Another flash of lightning was seen. Xander fell backward onto the ground. It was at that very moment, that Xander realized just what kind of mistake he had made.

Xander’s eyes shot wide open as his back connected with the solid ground, then quickly closed as he cringed in pain.

Buffy looked at the door. “Oh my God...” she said quietly to herself. “What have I done?” She walked to the door and opened it, running out into the rain. Xander had just run off to his death, and Buffy hadn’t stopped him. She needed to find him before Angelus did, and she needed to fast.

Xander sat up and looked around, just in time to see Angel, grab Xander by his shirt collar and lift him up. Xander was hoisted into the air and received a barrage of punches, finally being thrown into a small crypt located on the eastern wing of the cemetery. Xander crashed into the old rocks with a crash. As he lay in the now demolished crypt he felt pain shoot all through his body. He could feel blood rushing from his lower back and just above his eyes.

He stood up wearily and looked for Angel. There he was, still standing in the same place, a good 20 meters away. Xander decided he had done the wrong thing by coming here tonight. He looked at Angel and his heart, overcome with fear, turned him around, and he began to run.

He dodged tombstones and ducked under trees. Running like he’d never ran before. Every few paces he’d toss a look behind him to make sure Angelus wasn’t following. The fear in his heart burst with abundance. The rain pounded on his face and another thunder clap was heard.

Xander now ran out of the cemetery and made his way through the empty streets of Sunnydale. He ran and ran, as fast as he could possibly carry himself. He looked back once more, now just about a block from the Bronze. Nothing. Xander paused as he looked around. He lost him.

Xander began to walk away when he looked behind him once more. Still nothing. The rain came down around him, attacking his wounds, making them sting. He cringed a little and then turned to keep walking when he ran flat into another person. He stumbled backward and his eyes became cold and fearful.

Angel smirked as Xander looked at him, terrified, and helpless. Angel’s demonic face showed through and he looked at Xander.

Xander looked back at Angel. It was over. Xander heart was racing, then suddenly it slowed. It’s over now, he thought, the rain still bouncing off of his forehead. Angel bared his teeth and grabbed Xander by the collar pulling him close to him. He laughed. “ Well Xander, I seem to be the source of all of your problems these days don’t I?” His smile disappeared as he whirled Xander around so that Xander no longer faced him, and sunk his fangs into Xander’s neck, using as much of his strength as he could.

Xander tried to scream out in pain, but a word couldn’t be forced from his mouth. He stared into the sky, his eyes watering as he felt himself being drained of his blood. He could feel it leaving his veins as his heart’s pulse slowed. His eyes became clouded over and everything became dark. It’s then he realized, he was dying.

Angel let Xander’s lifeless body drop to the ground in the shadows of the back alley at the Bronze. He hadn’t known he had chased him this far. Angel smiled. His plan was falling into place, and now all he needed was one final insult to injury.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy knelt in the alley way. looking at her friend, the rain bouncing off her tear stained face as she sobbed one final sob and kept her stare fixed on the two little holes. Two little holes that have robbed her of having friends, a social life of any sort. The tears began to form again as she kept her gaze on him.

“It’s sad...to see someone whom you loved so dearly to have been killed.” A voice said from behind her. She whirled around and saw Angel standing behind her, leaning against a wall.

“What do you want?” Buffy asked as calmly as she could, her tears and a furious hatred dwelling in her eyes.

“He was your best friend, Buffy. Hell, he loved you.” Angel said not moving from his position on the wall.

She stared at him with hurt eyes. She looked down at Xander, then back up at Angel. “He...” Then she looked back down at Xander again, the rain still came down around them, the blackness caused by the clouds making Angel particularly hard to keep and eye on.


Angel smirked at her. “He was your friend, and now he’s dead. Losing a loved one, there’s nothing more painful. But I suppose you already knew that didn’t you?” he smirked one last time and walked into the shadows, not to be seen again.

Buffy remained silent for a number of moments, then finally broke down and began to cry. She leaned over and placed her head on Xander’s chest as she sobbed into his blood soaked shirt.

The End