Very Useful Things
By Felicity and Serena

Disclaimer: If we owned them, there’d be a lot less Riley and a lot more chains…or maybe Riley in chains…dying…Anyway…not our! Don’t sue!
Spoilers: IWRY, Doomed, Sonambulist
Summary: Buffy shows up to work out some issues and finds Angel chained to the bed *beg* They…talk.
Author’s Notes: We wrote this on IM…the dialogue anyway. One of us was Buffy and the other was Angel, can you guess who? And then I (Felicity) filled it out…Anyway, this is fluff to make up for Doomed ::shudder:: And the fact that Angel was in CHAINS and they didn’t even exploit it! Yeesh! What is wrong with these writers?
Feedback: PLEASE! We’re feedback whores!!!!!

The door to the office was unlocked. It said "Angel Investigations" on the window...she hadn't noticed that last time. She'd been in kind of a daze then. Not like she was having the time of her life now...

The office was empty. "Cordelia?" Buffy called, though of course the other girl wasn't there. It was nearly nine, she was probably home. And Angel...was probably downstairs in his apartment. She steeled herself and got into the old fashioned elevator nearby. Sure he hadn't invited her, but she needed to talk to him. He was probably just sitting around brooding anyway.

She tapped her foot nervously as she waited, and when the elevator stopped she paused, knowing she could still turn back, still drive back to Sunnydale.

Buffy took a deep breath and opened the elevator door.

Angel wasn't in the living room. It was a nice apartment, neat and full of books and art. Of course.

"Angel?" Buffy called. She glanced into the kitchen and then, not seeing him, walked towards the bedroom. "Are you-" She stopped dead in the doorway of his bedroom, staring. Because Angel happened to be chained, spread-eagled to his bed. Buffy swallowed. "What's going on?"

He was obviously startled to see her. Well, anyone in that position probably would be to see their ex-girlfriend. "Buffy...what're you doing here?" he asked, then looked down at himself. "It's...a long story."

Buffy arched her eyebrows at him leaning against the doorway. "I came to see you and tell you about...you wanna share?"

Angel's mouth twitched upward. "Cordelia just went to go get the whip and change into the leather thing she bought and then..." he trailed off, seeing her look. "I'm kidding."

"Ha. Ha," Buffy said, looking particularly unamused. She'd had a really bad day. She wasn't in the joking mood. "Why are you chained to your bed?"

Angel sobered up quickly. "Because I might be responsible for all the murders that have been happening here lately," he said quietly, his mind returning to those dreams...terrible and amazing, and what he woke to find in the morning.

"What murders?" Buffy asked. "And why would you be responsible?" Angel didn't meet her eyes, afraid of what he would see there.

"I...I have these dreams, in the pre-dawn, where I carve a cross into the victim's left cheek and then drain their blood before they die of the fear...their blood...it's so sweet..." he whispered without meaning to. He forced himself to meet her eyes, torn between relief that there was no revulsion and confusion at the careful blankness. "Did you know fear is a natural elixir?"

"No, I really didn't...didn't need to know either," Buffy replied. "But what does that have to do with murders?"

When I wake up, the people are still dead," Angel told her, and waited. Buffy's mouth quirked sympathetically and she helped herself to a seat in a chair by the door.

"For real?" she asked rhetorically. The look in his eyes answered. "Oh...So you're chained to the bed in an attempt to stop yourself from sleep walking?"

"Yeah. It's kinda like a weird experiment..." Angel said with another half smile. "And I feel like such a lab rat."

"Well you look...distinctly non rat-like, if that helps," Buffy said with a faint smile, her eyes running over him, hungry after so long.

Angel returned the faint grin. "Well,that's good to know."

"No, not really..." Buffy said, trying to supress the flair of desire in her stomach. "I mean, yeah, but...Anyway..."

"You never answered my question," Angel pointed out, tactfully changing the subject. "What're you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you," Buffy replied, looking away from him. "The Hellmouth nearly opened last night, and-"

"It did? Are you-no, wait, of course you're okay, seeing as how you're standing here talking to me...is everyone else okay?" Angel asked. Buffy nodded, glancing up at him and then away again.

"Everyone's fine. In fact, Spike's like super-happy boy, but that wasn't really what I came to talk to you about. I mean, it kind of was, but...Wow, this is hard to say," Buffy laughed to herself, then muttered under her breath, "Just spit it out Buffy."

"What is it?" Angel asked. "I have a lot of time, though, seeing as how I'm not going anywhere for about eight hours..."

"Yeah, I noticed that...and seeing as I have the key..." Buffy spotted it on a table nearby and picked it up, grinning ferally.

"Key?" Angel asked. She held it up for him, her grin broadening. "Okay, why am I suddenly NOT liking that smile? I mean, you look beautiful when you do it but..."

Buffy laughed softly. "Thanks. I just...got this sudden picture..." She stopped, realizing she shouldn't be having those pictures, they were just making it worse. "No, bad picture. Bad thought..."

"Bad thought?" Angel asked, cocking an eyebrow at her. "It wouldn't happen involve you and me, with me chained to the bed,would it?"

"Well seeing as I'm here and you *are* chained to the bed, that might have had something to do with it..." Buffy admitted, blushing slightly.

"But that grin is more of 'Yes, I know what happened to the canary and NO I won't tell...' 'Course you'd have to be a cat for it to really work, but..." Angel trailed off, realizing she might not be thrilled with him comparing her to a cat. Or maybe he just shouldn't remind her of anything having to do with killing, or eating...or anything.

"Well, I was just thinking..." Buffy began, trying to explain the smile. "I've been wanting to talk to you, and I had this feeling you might not want to listen. But now you don't have much of a choice, do you?"
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"No, not really..." Angel admitted, then continued ruefully, "And I'm thinking that since the only time you feel comfortable talking about this is with me chained to a bed, I might not be too happy about it."

"No, you might not," Buffy agreed. Her voice grew sharp suddenly, as did her eyes which she turned on him. "But hey, it's better than a sewer, right?" Angel winced visibly.

"Buffy, don't-"

"Don't what? Don't tell you how I feel? Cause I've spent a lot of time bottling it up, and now you *have* to listen to me," Buffy said harshly, trying to swallow back her anger and failing miserably.

"Buffy, there is nothing to talk about," Angel said quietly. "Move on. Go back to that guy you told me about, the one who you had on the verge or whatever."

"I didn't tell you about a guy," Buffy said, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "What are you talking about? Besides...that's kind of the problem. What I came to talk to you about."

"You told me, in the sewer-" he cut off, realizing what he was saying, that he was talking about a day she didn't know existed. That didn't exist. It had never happened. He attempted to change the subject. "What did you come to say?"

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Buffy demanded, her voice rising slightly. "We haven't been in a sewer since the last heartbreaking talk, remember? And I certainly didn't tell you about Riley then!"

"It's nothing, Buffy," Angel assured her, and added under his breath, "Nothing you remember, anyway."

"No, really, what are you talking about?" Buffy asked.

"It's...it's nothing, okay?" Angel told her. "Just drop it."

Buffy favored him with a weird look. "We'll discuss this later. After all, we've got all night," she reminded him. "But anyway, I wanted to talk to you...about Riley."

Angel sucked in a breath though he didn't need the air. "Well, it's nice to be able to put a name to a face...one that I can't picture, but..." He stopped and took a deep breath. "Who's Riley?" Buffy met his eyes and looked away quickly, biting the inside of her lower lip and fidgeting the the fringe on the blanket that covered the chair she sat in.

"Riley is the guy that I was...almost beginning to date," Buffy explained quietly. "I liked him. I mean, not in a serious way, but he's nice and...I thought he was normal."

"What, did he turn out to be human by day, demon hunter by night?" Angel asked, looking completely serious though his eyes twinkled. Buffy looked up at him, startled.

"How'd you guess?"

Angel frowned and gave her an odd look. "That was me trying to make with the funny, Buffy, I wasn't serious."

She swallowed. Of course. A joke. That just happened to be her life...

"Yeah, well it was a lame joke," she said shortly. "And happened to be true."

"Umm...why would anyone want to hunt demons for fun?" Angel asked.

"Don't ask me," Buffy replied, rolling her eyes. "Some people...Anyway, he's my psych TA, and we kissed once...it was like an 'in-the-moment' thing, and then...and then I ran into him fighting these people called 'The Gentleman'," she said, trying to get past the kiss part as quickly as possible, hoping maybe he wouldn't notice.

" 'The Gentlemen'...don't they steal people's voices and then kill them or something-" Angel cut off in the middle of his sentence, realizing what else she had said. "Wait, you *kissed* him?!"

"Yeah, for two days everyone in Sunnydale lost their voices, it was really freaky..." Buffy avoided his eyes. "Well isn't that what you *wanted* me to do? Move on?"

"Well...in theory maybe...no...yes." Angel stopped, looking exasperated and confused with himself and with her. Just the thought of her kissing someone else...But he had told her to move on. In an attempt to turn it back to her, he asked, "Is he the one you slept with?"

"No!" Buffy exclaimed quickly. "How did you know I...did Spike tell you?"

"Well, I was having hot pokers shoved into me at the time...everything was kinda fuzzy. But yeah, I think he mentioned it," Angel said dryly. Buffy winced at the thought, and tried to formulate some explanation.

"That was Parker," she corrected him. "Parker was...I wanted to feel loved, and normal, and have a cute, normal boyfriend. He turned out to be a cute, completely asshole who just wanted sex, which I, like an idiot gave him." She realized that she was beginning to tear up and began blinking desperately, determined she was not going to cry over that jerk. "Anyway, Parker was a huge mistake."

Angel looked hurt. "Good to know you didn't waste any time," he snapped. Buffy's tear-filled eyes came up immediately and he looked instantly remorseful. "Buffy, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."

"Fuck you Angel," she snapped back. "It was *completely* uncalled for. *You* left me, remember?" The tears were still coming, threatening to overflow and she blinked them back desperately, trying to think of her anger instead.

"I didn't think, okay?" Angel replied, his mind filled with terrible images of Buffy with another man...kissing another man...making love to-no, he couldn't even think about it. "It's kind of hard to swallow-don't want to even GO there-that the woman I love slept with another man."

"Yeah, well it's really great knowing that the man I love would rather not be with me," Buffy snapped quietly, hearing the words all over again in her mind. I want my life to be with you. I don't.

"You know that's not true, even more so now after what happened-I mean, after what happened before graduation," Angel said, catching himself before he could mention their lost day again. Their one perfect beautiful day...and she had no idea. None.

"What happened?" Buffy demanded. "I begged you not to go, I nearly gave my life for you, and you left anyway? Not really giving me a major happy there Angel."

"Look, I'm sorry that Parker was a jerk to you, okay? I really didn't want to deal with this right now, Buffy," Angel replied harshly.

"Well you don't have a lot of choice, do you? I'm sorry too, and I'm really trying to get over it, but it's not exactly easy, seeing as the only two people I've ever slept with have both left me the morning after!" she exclaimed, her voice full of hurt, then muttered to herself, "Really tells you something, doesn't it?"

"You know I had no control over that, Buffy, if I could have I would have been there when you woke up and held you and told you that that had been the best night of my life..." Angel whispered, tears springing to his eyes suddenly. Buffy felt the tears return to her own too.

"Oh God, this was really not what I was going for..." she whispered desperately.

"Look, I've had a really long day and I could be responsible for even more people's deaths. Why are you here, Buffy?" Angel asked, trying not to sound bitter or harsh, but knowing it wasn't working very well. He just hated this feeling, this helplessness. He could be killing, and there was nothing he could do, and he was hurting Buffy, he had hurt her and there was nothing he could do about that either.

Buffy laughed bitterly. "Long day? You don't even-" She cut herself off and passed a hand over her eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out. "Sorry. I'm just a little on edge."

"I didn't think you'd be able to understand," Angel replied, a sharp, dangerous edge to his own voice.

Hearing that, Buffy snapped. "I'm trying Angel! I just saved the world, and found out that my new almost-boyfriend is a jerk who spends his free time hunting demons for fun and then *experiments* on them and that I'll never ever have a normal relationship in my entire life, so please could you give me a break?!" she shouted.

"No, I can't just give you a break, Buffy!" Angel yelled back. "Do you know what it's like to dream about killing people, listening to them beg and then hear the deafening silence when they forget how to speak through the fear as you slice into their cheek and then drink their blood before they die from the fear that has consumed them. And to like it, to crave it...the power of the kill is something that you'll never know. You don't know how hard it is to control, so DON'T you dare come in here and call me insensitive."

"I don't know what it's like, you're right," Buffy admitted in a fast, high voice. "And I didn't come here to attack you, and I didn't call you insensitive! And obviously I shouldn't have come at all, I just-" She lost it, lost the fragile control she was clinging to and burst into tears suddenly.

Angel softened visibly, all the anger draining away. "Buffy, come here," he beckoned. "Sit here next to me."

Buffy stood up and walked over, trying to control her sobs. She sat down on the bed beside him, wiping desperately at her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I can't help it. I shouldn't have come."

"No, I'm glad you did," Angel said with a small smile. "I miss you."

"I miss you too...I miss you all the time..." Buffy cried, the stopped and struggled to take a deep breath and stop the tears.

"Shh..." Angel whispered, trying to bring his arms up to hold her, but unable to move more than a few inches. "God, I hate to see you cry."

Buffy smiled through her tears. "Cause you know it's so much fun for me... Sorry, kidding..."

"I can imagine," Angel said, smiling suddenly, and then becoming serious. "Why are you here? I know that this is as hard for you as it is for me...and I don't think this is about business, because you would have said something by now."

"Well it is a little," Buffy replied, wiping away the last of the tears. "I want to make sure there was nothing weird going on here, since the whole End of Days fiasco at home...there isn't, right? Besides the murders?"

"Does Wesley showing up as a 'rogue demon hunter'-complete with leather pants and a motorcylce-count as weird?" Angel asked.

"What?" Buffy asked, her eyes widening. "Excuse me, I meant WHAT?!" She laughed suddenly. "You're kidding, right?"

"I wish I was. But he did, leather pants and jacket and all. He went out with Cordelia to get dinner..." Angel explained.

"So he was the one that chained you up?" Buffy asked, arching an eyebrow, as Angel amended, "Not *out* out, because you know Cordelia, but..."

"Well, yeah..." Buffy agreed, "Though she did it once..."

"Yeah, and I think he had a little too much fun doing it...Cordelia too," Angel said to her first comment, then gave Buffy an amazed look. "She what?!"

"Well she was only mooning over him for like the last three months of high schoool...which is just beyond weirdness if you ask me..." Buffy remarked, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, that's right. That was...weird," Angel said. "But they're just friends now...friends who bicker incessantly. Kind of like her and..." his eyes went soft, "Doyle."

"Doyle?" Buffy asked. "Oh yeah, your helper, the one with the visions...where's he?"

"He...he died," Angel replied softly. Buffy's eyes went wide and her hand flew to her mouth.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry Angel...do you want to talk about it?" she asked. Angel swallowed.

"No, it's...it's okay," he replied.

"Are you sure? I'm...I don't know what to say. God, my problems seem pitiful now..." Buffy remarked.

"No, Buffy, they're not. And thank you, but I don't want to talk about it. It's...too painful," Angel said softly. Buffy bit her lips and nodded.

"Okay, I definitely understand that one..."

"So are you *finally* gonna tell me why you came?" Angel asked.

"Oh, right..." Buffy took a deep breath. "I was getting there! It was partly because of the Apocalypse thing. I wanted to make sure nothing was happening here. And also...I had to ask you something."

"Well, it's L.A. so you can never be too sure, but I don't *think* anything happened... Ask me? What?" Angel inquired. Buffy took another deep breath and then face him squarely.
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"Do you think I'm capable of a normal relationship? I mean, is there something wrong with me?" she asked, the second question in a small voice, not like her at all.

"Do you want me to go with honesty or the thing that will make you feel better?" Angel asked with a slight, humorless grin.

"Honesty," Buffy replied. "Please. Things that are supposed to make me feel better usually...don't."

"I...well...On the one hand..." Angel sighed. "No. I don't."

"I'm *not* capable of a normal relationship? Or there's something wrong with me? Or both?" Buffy demanded, her voice very small and frightened. She never thought she'd be hearing this from Angel, oh all people... "This honesty thing is fun."

"No, I didn't mean there was anything wrong with you," he hastened to say. "You're perfect. A goddess." His voice dropped. "My goddess." He stopped and cleared his throat. "I meant you're not capable of a normal relationship."

"Goddess huh?" Buffy said lightly, then looked away from him, trying to control the surge of desire and joy that filled her insides. This was certainly nothing to be happy about. "Why exactly would that be?"

"Why are you a goddess?" Angel asked, just as Buffy clarified, "The...uh...relationship thing, not the other..." Angel blinked and said, "No, you meant the other thing..."

"Because you live in a world full of demons and darkness, and that's no place for anyone else," he explained.

"What if the person was...semi-demons and darkness?" Buffy asked, not sure whether she was talking about Angel or Riley.

"I'm not sure how I want to answer that... Because it could be a trap," he replied, smiling suddenly.

"Why? Cause you're scared I'm going to rush home into the arms of Lilac Fish Boy? Or cause I'm never going to let you out of these chains?" Buffy asked, her eyes narrowing.

"No, because it could be a trap to get me to admit that I was wrong...or maybe it wasn't..." he trailed off realizing that hadn't actually been her intention, but now that he mentioned it...

"You were wrong," Buffy said firmly. "But it wasn't a trap...really..."

"Maybe we should just not do this..." Angel said.

"Not do what?" Buffy asked. "What are we doing?"

"We shouldn't be bringing up the past like this. All it does is cause more pain," Angel said quietly, retreating behind a shield.

"That's all it is, right? Pain," Buffy said softly, the self-same pain evident in her voice. "You know what? That painful past...that's about all I get through on these days."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Maybe to you all it was was pain. To me, memories of being with you...well, I don't feel like that much anymore. Ever."

"I didn't mean it like that, Buffy...I mean, sure, we had our good times, but doesn't the pain just make it all unbearable for you?" Angel asked, half of his heart hoping she would say no. She obliged.

"No. I mean, sure it's painful to remember. Mostly because it's over and I know I'll never have that again. But...but the way I felt with you...feel with you...well, it helps to remember that that's possible," Buffy said faintly, swallowing.

"Because it's not for me," Angel reminded her. "What's painful is feeling the way I do about you and not be able to express it...to have to stay away from you just kills me."

Buffy took a chance and looked back to meet his eyes, asking piteously, "Then why do you have to do it?"

"You know why, Buffy," Angel replied. "You deserve more. You deserve the world, something I wish I could give you. But I can't..."

"Wait, this from the guy who ten minutes ago told me I'd never have a normal relationship?" Buffy demanded. "And now you're saying I should go off and fail miserably trying?"

Angel grinned sheepishly. "You know, anytime you want to just shove a sock in my mouth or something, I won't try and stop you. Not seeing how I really could but...I just...I love you so much, and I can't give you the things you want. I can't give you the things *I* want for you."

Buffy's eyes softened and she touched his hand gently. "Well you're the only one that can give me the things *I* want for me."

"What can I give you, Buffy? Undying love and devotion aside..." He stopped. "I'm not helping my case, am I?"

Buffy smiled brilliantly. "No, really not...that's about all I'm looking for. You know, maybe a drawer or something...but really, love is *so* much better than picnics. Believe me."

"How would you know? I never got to take you on a picnic, when you were here we were otherwise detained and I'm not supposed to be talking about that right now," Angel said, cursing himself inwardly. He took a deep, unneeded breath. "So, love huh?"

"Angel, what are you *talking* about? Does this have anything to do with the whole "me and you in the sewer" thing, cause...I'm not remembering that..." Buffy pointed out. Angel sighed deeply.

"You weren't supposed to."

"What is *that* supposed to mean?"

There was a long silence and finally Angel said, "Buffy, do you remember when you came to L.A. at Thanksgiving?"

"Yes...you would barely talk to me. Why?"

"Because I had just spent the last twnety-four hours making love to you and I didn't know what to say."

There was a stunned silence as Buffy tried very hard to take that in. "Angel," she said in a small voice, "please tell me what you're talking about."

"You remember the Morha demon I killed?"

"Yeah...not that I saw it for more than a second, but I remember," she agreed.

"Well, that wasn't the first time I killed it," he explained.

"When *was* the first time?"

"It attacked us, and it got away before we could kill it. We followed it into the sewers-hence the sewer talk-and split up. I found it-well, it actually found me-and killed it. Its blood was regenerative," Angel said, watching her eyes for any hint of anything.

"Regenerative?" Buffy repeated. "What did it do?"

"It..." he stopped and looked away. "It made me human." Buffy grabbed his wrist and felt for his non-existing pulse, trying to control herself.

"And yet you're a vampire," she said.

"I didn't kill it, it regenerated itself too. I tried to go off and kill it without you but I couldn't. I was human--weak. The Oracles said that you would die if I stayed human...so I had them turn me back," Angel said quietly, closing his eyes against the pain of the memory. Buffy's fingers dug into his wrist and he opened his eyes to look at her again.

"You WHAT?!" she demanded.

"I had them turn me back into a vampire so that you would live," Angel repeated softly. Buffy felt her world collapse in on herself. Angel had been human...he had been human. And he had given it up for her.

"Angel," Buffy said softly, catching his eyes, her own filling with tears again, "how do you know I'll live like this? They just said I'd die if you stayed human...did you even think to ask if I'd die anyway?"

"Well...no..." he admitted, then firmed his mouth. "Buffy, don't you get it?! I did this for YOU." His voice raised, "I do EVERYTHING for you!"

To her horror, Buffy began to cry again. "And you never think to ask if what you're doing is going to help me. I don't want to die Angel, and I know what kind of sacrifice you made, and I can never thank you enough, but did you even ask me? I'm going to die young anyway. I'm the Slayer. And I would rather have you than another few months of life."

"You don't mean that," Angel said gently. "I couldn't live with myself if I had been responsible for your death."

"I know, I know," Buffy sobbed, "but I can't live with myself like this. I'm miserable all the time and...and now...you have up humanity for me. The only thing you've ever wanted. Do I deserve that?"

Who was she to take his life away from him? How did she have any claim on that?

"You deserve everything and you know it," Angel replied. "And I only did it because I love you. More than anything, more than anyone."

"And I love you!" Buffy exclaimed, still crying. "I want you to be happy Angel...I want you to be human. And...I'm going to die anyway. Maybe it would have been better..." Her voice snagged on a sob and she stopped.

"Been better...?" Angel asked, wishing more than anything that these chains were off she he could hold her, just for a moment, comfort her...

"If you'd lived," Buffy finished, holding back another sob. "Then at least one of us could have had a chance at happiness...and we would have had a little while."

"I don't think we're supposed to have a little while," Angel said, his voice as anguished as hers, though his face was stoic.

Buffy's tears began coming harder. "Why not? I've fought and suffered and *died* and what do I get out of it? Pain. Heartbreak. The knowledge that I'll never have happiness again, even for a moment, and neither will the man I love."

"What do you want me to do, Buffy?" Angel demanded, losing control again, tears forming in his eyes, running down his cheeks. "Tell me what it is and I'll do it! You act like I can change this, but I can't!"

"Be with me," Buffy sobbed. "Love me. I know you can't change things, but we don't have to be miserable all the time. There are little bits of happiness there, I know there are! I know we can find them if you'll try!"

"I want to, you know I do," Angel cried, "But it's too much of a temptation...to be near you and to not be a part of you...even for just a few moments...I'm not strong enough to resist."

"You can be!" Buffy exclaimed, almost frantically. "I know you can be! And maybe there are ways to change it. Maybe...maybe we could change the curse."

"How? Jenny's gone, she was the only one who knew how," Angel reminded her. "And I'm can't...you don't know what it's like. He's here, now, telling me to take you...whispering all sorts of things..."

"So tell him to shut up!" she said savagely, then broke down again. "I...I can't do this anymore Angel. I feel like I'm only part of a person, like I'm living some kind of parody of life."

"It's more complciated than that," Angel said, too tired and hurt to be annoyed. "And I know how you feel, sometimes I don't even know if I'm alive...or not." He shook his head, realizing what he just said. "You know what I mean."

"In a big way. I know...I know you can't just do that, but...Angel you did it before. You resisted. We both did. We can do it again," Buffy said, hope and desperation in her eyes.

"I was so close to snapping...that night, before your Prom, I knew I was close," Angel said, his voice raw with the memory of desire, and the knowledge of it then, right then, with her sitting there crying.

"So instead of pulling me into your arms and making passionate love to me, you dumped me?" Buffy gasped, torn between laughter and more tears.

"Did you *want* to have to stake me instead?" Angel asked, earning a tiny smile.

"I could just knock you out...chain you up until Willow could perform the curse again...kinda like this..." She smiled teasily through the tears, which had mostly stopped for the moment.

Angel had a hint of a smile. "Cordelia and Wesley will be back in about seven and a half hours."

Buffy laughed. "Plenty of time...I'm sure Willow wouldn't mind being rooted out of bed for a worthy cause..." She stood up, unable to sit beside him anymore, to have him so close and talk about that and... Her smile faded abruptly. "Is there really nothing we can do Angel?"

"Buffy...you KNOW how much I love you and how much I want to be with you. And..." he exhaled heavily. "God, this is hard. I just...I'm sorry."

"It can't end like this," Buffy said desperately, turning back and pleading with him. "Angel, tell me it doesn't end like this."

"It won't. Our love is forever, remember?" he said with a faint smile.

"That doesn't really help when I'm listening to Riley tell me I need to learn how to snuggle with my honey at the end of the day and forget everything else," Buffy said softly, reliving the terrible moment.

"Want me to kill him for you?" Angel asked with a grin. Buffy managed a smile in return.

"Much as I wish...I thought the whole point of this exercise was to keep you from killing people?" she said, gesturing to the chains. Angel looked at them.

"Oh, right. Okay, so then I won't kill him...how about I go back to Sunnydale and tell him to stay the hell away from MY girlfriend if he knows what's good for him..." he suggested.

"Your girlfriend huh?" Buffy asked, sitting down on the bed and grinning broadly.

"Well...yeah."

"I like that answer."

Angel smiled. "I thought you would."

"You just know me too well..." Buffy said, trying to control the elation rushing through her.

" 'How can I not know my soul?' Sorry, old quote...from somewhere..." Angel said, trailing off.

"I like. Good quote. You'd be amazed at how much some of those old guys really knew...okay, so you probably wouldn't, you being one of them and all..." Buffy teased.

"I figured you would. But it's true," Angel said, catching her eyes. She softened, melting at the look.

"Very true," she murmured in agreement.

"I...God, seeing you after everything that's happened...I realize how much I love you," Angel whispered.

"I knew that all along silly one," Buffy replied. Angel smiled.

"Do you honestly think we can do this?" he asked.

"I've always thought we could do it Angel!" Buffy reminded him.

"But you know I have to stay here, I have my business and...Sunnydale holds too many memories. Good and bad."

"I know," she admitted, the perked up. "But who said long distance relationships can't happen? Plus, that would help with the whole resisting-temptation thing. If we can't touch each other, we can't do much right?"

"Good point," he agreed. "So we try it?"

"What have I been saying for the last hour? Honestly, do you listen to me at all?" Buffy demanded, mock-annoyed, her eyes gleaming.

"I hang onto your every word. Oh, great, now I sound like stalker boy..." he laughed. She joined him.

"As long as you don't decide to come watch me 24/7 without letting me know you're there, that's okay," she decided.

"Oh, I'll let you know I'm there all right..." he said playfully. "Now are you going to unlock me so I can hold you?"

"Umm...I don't know, I kinda like you like this," Buffy laughed, grinned widely.

Angel whimpered. "Buffy, you're NOT helping. Come on, it's been too long..."

"I thought we were *resisting* temptation!" she reminded him.

"We will be. I just...I want to fall asleep with you in my arms," Angel said softly, his voice sending a shiver through her. She melted at the words.

"Me too. I just...don't want you to go sleepwalking in the pre-dawn hours. Or worse yet, stay right here while you dream. I mean, I don't think you did those things but..."

"Well, you're the Slayer...I'm sure if I do get up and try to do the sleep-walking thing you'll stop me. And the dreams...I can't dream of anything else but you when you're with me," he assured her softly.

"Oh...okay..." Buffy whispered, melting into one big puddle.

"Please?" he asked, making a puppy face. "These things are starting to chaff..."

"Poor baby..." Buffy murmured, taking the key out of her pocket and sliding down to the bottom of the bed. She fit the key into the left shackle and locked unlocked it. "Shall I kiss it and make it better?"

Angel arched an eyebrows at her. "You know, that has possibilities...good ones," he laughed, smirking.

"Really now?" Buffy asked. She bent and kissed his ankle chastly, then looked up at him with her eyes sparkling. "Like this?"

"No, you missed it..." he told her.

"Oh really? Tell me where it hurts..." Buffy murmured, a smile playing on her lips.

"Everywhere," Angel said fervently. "Okay, I REALLY need to get out of these things."

Buffy laughed. "In my own good time lover."

"Buffy, you're killing me!" Angel whined. "C'mon, make like the good little girlfriend and get moving...my legs are numb."

"How can they be numb?" Buffy demanded, eyeing him. "You're a vampire. Your blood doesn't flow Angel. And besides, like two seconds ago, they were just 'chafing'..."

"Maybe I'm just delirious," Angel whispered, his voice low and sexy. "Seeing you, being near you and not being able to hold you, kiss you, taste you...it's driving me insane." Buffy felt faint at the promises in his voice. Promises that they couldn't fulfill just now but stil...

"Okay!" Buffy exclaimed, just as eager as he was for him to have full movement of his body, "I'm ready to unlock you now!" She unlocked his other leg quickly.

"Thank God!" Angel moved the leg, sliding in over Buffy's. "Now come here, lover, and hurry it up. I'm about to rip them off and it WON'T be pretty..." he growled, shaking the chains as he tried to reach for her. Buffy crawled up the bed, over him and stradled his chest.

"I don't know," she whispered, "I like being in control." She dangled the key inches above his face. Angel shot her a look.

"When my soul is permanent, love, we'll break these out again. Until then..." he trailed off.

"Until then?" Buffy asked in a small voice.

"I want to hold you," he replied, his eyes serious and full of love.

"I want to be held," she whispered, reaching up and unlocking both his wrists quickly. "I love you Angel."

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest, sighing happily. "I love you too Buffy," he said, kissing the top of her head tenderly.

Buffy burrowed happily against him. "Hold me forever Angel," she sighed.

"Whatever the lady wishes," he replied with a grin.

"Now why didn't you say that seven months ago?" she asked mock-sternly.

"Because I was a fool?" he suggested. Buffy laughed.

"Okay, that works for me."

"I figured it would." There was a moment of happy silence.

"So...what now?" Buffy asked after a long time.

"What do you mean?" Angel replied.

"I don't know. Where do we go from here?" Buffy asked. "I go back to Sunnydale and...will you call me? Will you email me? I'm afraid that I'm going to go away and you're going to decide that we shouldn't be together after all and there won't be anything I can do about it."

"I couldn't do that to you, Buffy," Angel said truthfully. "Of course I'll call. And e-mail. And visit on weekends..." He stopped and looked down at her. "We'll make this work."

"Okay...promise?" Buffy asked.

"I swear. Now come on." He pulled the covers down beneath him and scooted underneath them. "No more unhappy talk." Buffy smiled and rolled off him, letting him get under the blankets and smiling.

"Okay. I just wanted to make sure. You have this terrible tendency of not telling me things..." She climbed under the covers with him and put her head on his arm, yawning. "I'm sleepy. I just averted the End of Days."

"Well, then sleep. I'll keep you safe from the monsters tonight," he promised, kissing her forehead.

"I believe you Angel. Promise you'll dream of me? And in a good, non-killing way?" Buffy demanded.

"Only if you promise the same," he replied.

Buffy laughed. "Why would I dream of killing you? Cause you were so damn stubborn, perhaps? Well I promise. Believe me darling, there's no way I'm going to be able to stop my dreams from being of you..."

Angel chuckled in reply. "I meant I promise to dream of you only if you dream of me. And I don't see how tonight would be any different from others...but there's something I need to do before we sleep."

"Well, tonight I've seen you in chains..." Buffy reminded him with a grin. "What do you need to do?"

"I need to kiss you," he said, his voice sending shivers through her again.

"Oh, I'm good with that," she murmured, pulling his head down to hers.

"I figured you would be," Angel replied into her mouth, kissing her ever-so-softly, pulling her body closer to him. The kiss deepened and Buffy wrapped her arms around him, trying to get as close as possible. After a long time she broke away, gasping for air.

"Okay, not really sleep-inducing..." she laughed into his chest. Angel laughed softly and cradled her closer to him.

"Sleep, my love," he said softly. "You deserve it."

" But I wanna do *more*," Buffy whined. She gave in and cuddled up against him. "Good night Angel."

"I know you do, so do I. I, however, don't feel like ending up as a pile of dust afterwards," Angel reminded her. "Good night, Buffy. Sweet me-filled dreams."

"Well we still have the chains..." Buffy suggested, laughing wickedly, low and sexy. Angel ached, but shook his head. "No? Okay...fine...I'll just have to dream about it instead..." Buffy murmured, sleep already creeping over her. "Sweet dreams lover." Angel wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"Mmm, 'night," he murmured. Buffy tucked her head under his chin and closed her eyes, drifting happily off to sleep. Angel sighed contentedly and relaxed, slipping off to sleep too, knowing the nightmares were banished forever by her presence.

***

"Look, there was another murder!" Cordelia exclaimed cheerfully, walking into Angel's bedroom. She stopped, staring. "Oh dear god. Shoot me now."

"Cordelia?" Angel murmured, waking up slowly and looking at her.

"Are you evil again?" Cordelia demanded, taking a step backward. "You are, aren't you? Why's she here?"

Angel sighed. "I'm not evil Cordy, we were just sleeping and-"

"And I came to knock some sense into him," Buffy finished sleepily, opening her eyes to peek at the other young woman. "The chains were very helpful, thank you."

Cordelia's eyes widened in horror.

"You...Angel...chains! Oh my god! I have to go call everyone I've ever met now thank you very much," she gasped, backing away. Buffy and Angel exchanged and amused glance.

"Wait, Cordy," Angel called, "Did you say there was another murder? Because I was definitely here the whole night."

"Yes!" Cordelia called from the other room. "Please, I don't want to know what you were doing, or thinking about doing, or dreaming or...anything!" Buffy giggled and nestled back into the bed.

"See, there was nothing to worry about," she assured him.

"I know. So, what did you dream about?" Angel asked, laying back down and looking into her eyes.

"Oh, you'll see when we get that curse fixed...you know chains can be very useful things..."

The End