Xander: So, Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?
Buffy: Xander!
Xander: I mean, how'd the *laying* go? No, I don't mean that either.

Angel: "Dear Buffy..." Hmmm. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards.
Spike: Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression.
Angel: Lacks... poetry.
Spike: Doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?

Oz: So, do you steal weapons from the Army often?
Willow: Well, we don't get cable, so we have to make our own fun.

Xander: Yep, vampires are real. A lot of 'em live in Sunnydale. Willow'll fill you in.
Willow: I know it's hard to accept at first.
Oz: Actually, it explains a lot.

Xander: You were looking at my neck.
Angel: What?
Xander: You were checking out my neck. I saw that.
Angel: No, I wasn't.
Xander: Just keep your distance, pal.
Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck.
Xander: I told you to eat before we left.

Snyder: There are some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense.
Giles: No, actually, that would be one of the five.

Buffy: Vampires are creeps.
Giles: Yes. That's why one slays them.

Buffy Summers: We saved the world. I say we have to party.

Exchange student: Would you like to touch my penis? I am a sex machine!

Kenny Fisher: Why y'all gotta waste my flava!

Kenny Fisher: Yo, I gotta have sex tonight!

Kenny Fisher: It says here ninety-two percent of women at UCLA are sexually active. Ninety-two percent of honeys walking around L.A. going, "Class or sex? What shall I do?" Ninety-two percent, yo! Hey, you know what that means.
Kenny's friend: What?
Kenny Fisher: It means I gots a ninety-two percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, "What's up yo?" she be like, "You don't know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa" cuz I don't yo.