Retribution, Part One: The Unsinkable Carmen Sandiego
Episode Synopsis:
Part 1 of 3. Zack and Ivy investigate a case on the death of Dr. Gunnar Maelstrom, a thief Carmen put away back when she was an Acme detective.
Goofs:
Factual errors: Carmen mentioned the Carpathia never sank when she and the Inspector were talking about Maelstrom's latest theft. The Carpathia was torpedoed by a German U-boat in 1918 and on September 23, 2000, a Canadian team found it off the coast of Ireland.
Ivy: Warden, we got a CrimeNet alert that an Acme prisoner escaped. Anything we can do?
Warden: Thanks, Detective, but our escapee didn't survive this explosion.
Ivy: Who was he?
Warden: Doctor Gunnar Maelstrom, one of the most brilliant and frightening criminal minds there ever was.
Zack: It just doesn't make sense that someone as brilliant as Maelstrom would botch an escape this badly.
Chief: Hey, new digs, detectives? Love what you've done with the place. Early slammer.
Zack: Chief, what can you tell us about this creepazoid Doctor Maelstrom?
Chief: Whoa, deja vu! You're talking about the most ruthless criminal who ever lived! And he didn't recycle.
Zack: Sounds like you knew him personally.
Chief: Knew him? I put him in prison! Well, me and a famous ex-Acme detective by the name of...Carmen Sandiego!
Ivy: Carmen helped put him away?
Chief: Yep. Back when she was one of us. Say it loud, say it proud, but just say it--Acme detectives. The year was 1985...
Carmen: Sorry, Maelstrom.
Maelstorm: You!
Carmen: Library's closed. And your card has expired.
Carmen: I'm afraid our little cat-and-mouse game is finally over, Doctor Maelstrom.
Maelstorm: Are you certain, Detective Sandiego?
Carmen: Acme Detective Carmen Sandiego. Don't worry, I'll get this back to you. You call the fire department.
Maelstorm: You Acme detectives certainly are a persistent breed!
Carmen: Blast! How does he design those awesome vehicles?!
Inspector: Maelstrom got away again, huh Carmen?
Carmen: It doesn't add up, Inspector! Here's a brilliant marine archaeologist gone bad. A man obsessed with ocean treasures, loot from sunken ships, and suddenly he steals a simple log book.
Inspector: What's so strange about that?
Carmen: Why steal navigation records from seventy-odd years ago? The ship it belonged to, the Carpathia, was just an ordinary passenger boat. It never even sank! The answer's got to be here somewhere!
Inspector: You and your computer. I'd tell ya--
Carmen: Inspector, if I was half as high tech as Doctor Maelstrom, I'd have had him by now.
Chief: Oh, Detective Sandiego! What an honor! Whoa, whoa, whoa, not an open window!!
Carmen: What a partner.
Chief: And let me assure you, Detective Sandiego, I am state-of-the-art, user-friendly, oh, did I mention I'm cable-ready? Oh, but wait, there's more. I guarantee, you will not find a partner who is more alert, more vigilant, more--
Carmen: Uh, Chief?
Maelstrom: Forgive me for disabling your little toy.
Carmen: Ugh! How did you intercept a secured frequency?
Maelstrom: Knowledge is power, Carmen.
Carmen: You're the epidemic on society, Maelstrom. And I'm about to become the cure.
Maelstorm: Oh, you're a fool if you believe the reason you hunt me is to see me stopped, Carmen. We both live for the game. We're two sides of the same coin, you and I.
Carmen: No! Never!
Maelstorm: Only I'm willing to admit that the art of the theft is what compels me.
Carmen: All that compels you is greed.
Maelstrom: That lofty moral superiority of yours will someday crumble like the walls of Jericho. And you will see what I see in you. WHAT?
*whispering*
Maelstrom: You're a thief at heart, Carmen, and right now it's my freedom you're trying to steal. Who knows what you will crave next, hm?
Chief: --more aware, more...say, you look a little green, Carmen. Getting enough ruffage?
Chief: Since this was before they invented the C-5 corridor, Carmen flew us from San Francisco to Australia in the Acme Jet. Though new to flying, I laughed in the face of danger!
Robot Chief: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Carmen: Chief! Take the wheel!
Chief: But, but Carmen, I'm not programmed for driving--!
*Carmen jumps off from the car and lands on the ship*
Chief: Whoa!! Oof!
Carmen: I thought I asked you to take the wheel!
Chief: Uh, I did.
Carmen: Oh boy.
Chief: Oh, get her off, you overgrown sushi!
Carmen: Oh my gosh! Chief, he's going to steal the sunken ship...Titanic! He'll desecrate a memorial to all those who lost their lives in that tragedy.
Maelstrom: And there you have it, gentlemen. Descending in nuclear submersibles, we will attach magnetic disks to the Titanic's hull. Then activate the self-inflating pontoons, which will fill with hydrogen gas. The Titanic will rise like Venus from the sea!
Bildge: All this just to get some old boat?
Maelstrom: Fool! The Titanic was the largest and finest ship of her day! Unsinkable, they called her. So certain were they that on her maiden voyage they neglected to include enough lifeboats for all passengers. Then, at twenty minutes to midnight, on April 14, 1912, she struck an iceberg and sank. There were 705 survivors, but over 1500 people drowned, making it the greatest seagoing disaster of all time. Countless explorers have tried to locate the wreckage of the doomed ship. All have failed...until now. But using the stolen log of the rescue ship Carpathia, I tracked that day's currents and calculated they were strong enough to carry the sinking Titanic due east, far from where everyone else suspected. Gentlemen, I am about to carry off the greatest seagoing theft of all time!
Carmen: That's why you're the henchman and not the boss.
Chief: Uh--do you validate?
Carmen: Maelstrom, you're a madman!
Maelstrom: What are you doing?
Carmen: Just hoisting you on your own pontoon, doctor.
Chief: Next day, September 1, a crew led by Dr. Robert Ballard found the Titanic! Maelstrom went to prison, and I asked for a nice, quiet desktop job, maybe as a paperweight.
Zack: Uh yeah, great story, but--
Ivy: Hey, look! Since when does anyone escape from prison barefooted?
Zack: Ivy, those shoeprints I saw! Wanna bet Maelstrom somehow got ahold of guard shoes?
Ivy: And if you were a demented sea captain who'd been locked up for ten years, where's the first place you'd go?
Zack: To my ship! Chief, where's the Valkeyrie right now?
Chief: Infoscanning international harbor records...bingo! The Valkeyrie is now at the Pli Ferry in Belize.
Ivy: Well, there's the Valkeyrie...but where's Maelstrom?
Maelstrom: Looking for me?
Zack: Alright, Maelstrom! We're from Acme, and you're busted!
Maelstrom: Am I now? Gentlemen, please show our young friends how we deal with uninvited Acme agents.
Ivy: Whoa! Give it up, Maelstrom! You can't lock us in here forever!
Maelstrom: I wouldn't dream of it. Besides, who needs locks when you've got crocs.
Zack: Whoa, run for it! Ivy!
Chief: Elbow. Oh, the elbow's connected to the dry shaft, and the dry shaft is connected to the solenoid perambulator. And that's the way you fix the Chief. Everybody say, "forearm." Kids, I'm a trained professional. Kids, don't try this at home unless you have invaluable nuts-and-bolts knowledge. Wrist. Geez, I feel like a refugee from the Wiz. Oil me! Woo! Hey! Look! Now give me a hand.
*clapping*
Chief: Boy, you know, every calimari thinks he's a comedian.
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