....by Leslie
Chapter Seven
Cameron left the Cory's in a hurry. He didn't want Amanda to see the look on his face. Having known her only a short time, he was sure she could read his mind and most especially what was in his heart. He knew the gift he had for her was not worth hundreds or maybe even thousands of dollars like some of the others had bought her. But it came from a place in his heart only meant for her, and to him, it was worth everything.
Meanwhile, Amanda was getting to the last of her gifts, and could not see Cameron anywhere. She was disappointed that he didn't bring her something. She thought he would! When it came time to be seated for dinner, Cameron was nowhere to be found.
Amanda made small talk, but couldn't eat. She was no longer the pleasant company she had been before. No one knew where Cameron had disappeared too. Rachel didn't know, Matthew had no idea-he spent most of the time trying to stay away from Madeline. Chandler barely could remember who Cameron was until Rachel reminded him.
The seemingly unhappy birthday girl cut the evening short. No matter what her family and friends tried, Amanda would not smile. Dancing didn't work…..singing her favorite songs wouldn't work…nothing anyone did helped!
With the last of the guests leaving, Amanda was walking around the room, looking at all the gifts she had received and barely grinned. She ran her finger along the edges of the brightly wrapped packages, and then her hand fell to her side. None of these gifts mattered. Celebrating didn't mean anything without someone to share it with. And the one person she wanted to share this day with was no longer here.
Amanda was ready to go upstairs when the maid stopped her.
"Miss Cory…I didn't want to say anything while all your guests were here, but…."
"Yes Natalie, what is it?"
"Miss Cory, I saw your friend. He was here watching you open all your presents. He was smiling and laughing. Then Miss Madeline and Mr. Littlefield must have said something to him, because he got very angry, threw something behind the sofa and ran out. I'm sorry Miss, if it wasn't my place to say anything, but I thought you should know."
Natalie then excused herself and left the room.
Amanda knew a little more about what happened but not enough. She called into the library where she had seen Madeline last and asked her to join her in the sitting room. Amanda could not contain her anger but kept it under control, at least for now.
Madeline walked into the room as if she owned it. "Yes, Amanda? You needed something? I thought you said you were no good to anyone today. Too bad too. Your party was a hoot!"
Gritting her teeth, Amanda asked Madeline to sit down beside her. "Madeline, do you have any inkling why Cameron left the party so suddenly?"
Madeline's face looked rather puzzled. "Amanda, I have no idea why that cowboy of yours left. But it's a good thing too. Things picked up rather nicely once he did!" She got up to leave and go back into the library, when Amanda grabbed her arm.
"SIT DOWN! "Amanda told Madeline.
"I beg your pardon? "Madeline said.
"You heard me. SIT DOWN!! I want to talk to you about Cameron."
Madeline sat down next to Amanda, surprised at the stand her friend was taking.
"What are you talking about, Amanda? I barely talked to your cowboy tonight-what's his name again?"
"It's Cameron. Cameron Sinclair. What did you and Chandler say to him? Someone saw the two of you talking to him or he overheard. I'm not sure! But he was upset enough to leave and I want to know what was said…right this instant."
Madeline was amused to say the least. "Hmmm…let's see. Chandler and I discussed my father's interest in his bank, the rising cost of living here, and -oh yes!! The cowboy's gift to you! What was it by the way? Some simple thing he found in his trails?? "Madeline laughed. She thought she was funny. Amanda did not.
"He was my guest and you made him feel unwelcome here. I will NEVER forgive you for that! And since when did being in charge of my life become your responsibility? I manage quite nicely on my own, thank you very much!" Amanda was so angry she tried to leave the room. This time it was Madeline's turn to stop her.
"Come on Amanda. Please sit down and let me explain. Please! "Amanda sat down in her father's chair and listened.
Madeline wasn't sure where to start. "Amanda, ever since we were in school, we've been close. We tell each other everything. Imagine what it's been like for me. I come to town, expecting to spend some quality time with you, and all you can talk about is Cameron this, and Cameron that. You even go to his shows to see him perform? Come on! You really can't do any better than HIM?"
"That's it! I have had it!! You are no longer welcome in my mother's house. Pack your things and I'll have someone take you to the boarding house in town. Until you can learn to treat my friends with respect, I don't want to talk to you."
Needless to say, Madeline was stunned by Amanda's reaction. But, she had no choice to abide by her decision. She went up to her room, packed her bags and left in silence.
Amanda went back into the room where all the gifts were and was about to take some of the packages upstairs when she noticed something shiny behind the sofa. There, crumpled up in a corner, was Cameron's gift to her. She untied the ribbon, removed the unique wrapping paper and opened the box. Inside was his poem.
Amanda read it through slowly. Then she read it again. She couldn't help but cry at the thought of what it took for Cameron to write this, and how hurt he must have been when he heard the comments made about him by Madeline and Chandler. She had to find him.
Amanda didn't know where to look. She thought of the first place that he might be-at the Wild West show. He wasn't there. She checked his wagon. No answer. She turned around and ran smack dab into Cinnamon.
"Lordy, lordy!! I never thought I'd live to see the day when you would grace our lowly presence with a visit!"
Amanda couldn't take another word. From anyone. Especially Cinnamon. She slapped her, and hard too.
"Look! I don't have the time or the patience to spar with you over words. I am concerned about Cameron! Have you seen him?"
Cinnamon shook her head no. "Not since this morning. Why? Did you and that gorgeous man have a friendly little tiff? I am so sorry about that!" She couldn't help but smirk.
Amanda chose not to respond to that last remark. She just got in the buggy and rode off, not knowing where. Just knowing she had to find Cameron and soon.
Amanda rode all over town, but couldn't find Cameron. She even peeked into Jake's place, one place where you would never find a Cory. But no Cameron. Then she decided to take a ride down to the lake where she and Cameron had watched the fireworks and started to become close. Amanda didn't see him. She got out of the buggy and walked down closer to the lake, where the moon had cast its' gleam on the water. She pulled out Cameron's poem from her pocket, closed her eyes, and recited it out loud word for word!
"I was unaware of the daily struggle going on inside of me.
Not sure of where I was headed or what I would do when I got
there.
Knowing I had to do something…to put the light back in my
soul and the wholeness back into my heart.
I took a chance and ventured out of my world and into one I
had never seen before.
Then I saw you. My life changed forever.
In your eyes I saw a fire that was missing in mine.
In you heart I saw a genuiness that I had lost and maybe now had found.
Taking that chance brought me to your world. A place I would like to call my own.
Amanda couldn't help it. Again she started to cry. She slumped down to the ground, grabbed a handkerchief from the pocket of her dress and dabbed her eyes. What she didn't know is that Cameron WAS there. He had heard Amanda recite the whole poem. He could see how much it had affected her, and he was glad that she liked it.
But this did not change anything. What Madeline said at Amanda's birthday party was true. Amanda COULD do better than him. What was he thinking anyway? Having a chance with this beautiful girl that wandered into his life that day a few weeks earlier? Even though he knew that her smile brightened his darkest days. Her eyes danced when she was excited about something. And those lips were soft and inviting.
He left before Amanda could see him. Cameron made it back to his wagon with relative ease, considering he had stopped awhile back at Jake's to have a beer and ending up staying for five.
He sat down on his bunk, undressed and rested his head against the pillows. He pulled out his look book and pencil and wrote…
"Amanda…." Suddenly, his book dropped out of his hands and he fell asleep.
Back at the Cory's, Amanda found it difficult to fall asleep. All she could think about was Cameron…the poem he had written to her…. and how very angry she was at Madeline. How could someone be so cruel?
She tried warm milk to relax her, but it didn't work. She walked outside and gazed up at the stars, hoping that Cameron was looking at them too, and that he would know just how much she cared about him. She did not need expensive gifts, or parties, or money to buy anything she wanted. Her family already had all of that. What she wanted…..what she cared about….was Cameron. She needed to find him to tell him that.
The next morning, Matthew had meeting scheduled at the mine, which Rachel and Carl both planned to attend. Rachel and Matt were eating breakfast when Amanda came into the room, looking like she hadn't slept a wink.
"Good morning sweetheart. Did you sleep well?" Rachel asked, sipping some coffee.
"Where's Madeline today?? Getting her beauty sleep? Maybe she'll leave me alone!" Matt laughed.
"Madeline will not be staying with us any longer. She is at the boarding house in town " Amanda responded.
Matt and Rachel said simultaneously, "What happened?"
Amanda explained what happened….how Cameron had overheard Madeline and Chandler talking and whatever they said, he was hurt by it and left. She also showed her mother the poem Cameron wrote. Rachel wiped her mouth with a napkin, and voiced her own opinion.
"Honey, I know you and Madeline have been friends ever since you were little girls. Are you sure you did the right thing?"
"Mom, I am more sure of this than I am of anything else in my life right now."
"Then, Amanda, I applaud your decision. Madeline has always been one to put herself above everyone else. I was hoping you would not turn out like her and you haven't. I thank your father for that every day in my prayers. Now….."
"Now what?" Amanda asked.
"All you have to do is convince Cameron."
"Convince him of what?" Amanda wondered.
"That he can fit into your world AND you can fit into his." Rachel got up, came over and gave Amanda a kiss on her forehead, and went off to get ready for the day's meetings.
Matt had to put in his opinion too. "I'm with mom on this one, Amanda. Madeline is a snob with a capital S. I say good riddance to her. If you're smart, and I know you are, you'll go find Cameron. "
"It's that easy, huh?"
"If you care enough about him, it will be!" With that, Matt left to join Rachel at the mine.
Amanda hurried upstairs, got dressed and headed in the direction of the Wild West show. But, no matter where she looked or whom she talked to, no one had seen Cameron. She wanted to stay for the show, but after she saw the trainers working with the horses, she had an idea!
Once the trainers finished putting the horses through their morning routines, they left them to get the horses their lunch-an interesting mixture of hay and those tasty carrots. It was then that Amanda put her plan into action. She wandered over to where Cameron's horse was tied up. The sign above his stall said "Easy Goer." Amanda brushed his mane with her hand, assuring him everything was ok. "You are surely a beautiful animal, just like Cameron had said. And you're so gentle too."
Amanda untied Easy Goer, led him out of his stall quietly so not to disturb the other animals or to draw attention to herself. She hopped on his back, intended to ride him a bit and try some of the tricks she saw performed in the show all those times. She had wanted to surprise Cameron, but Easy Goer would have none of that!
He bolted at the thought of having someone other than Cameron on his back. He reared up on his hind legs, causing Amanda to let out a blood-curdling scream. Everyone in the show came running-including Cameron, who was sleeping off the effects of the party and those many beers he had. He saw Amanda on Easy Goer and tried to grab the reins. But, Easy Goer was too fast. He ran right by Cameron and into the ring where he performed. He was headed toward the exit when his hind leg hit a hole in the dirt and he lunged forward. This sudden motion threw Amanda over Easy Goer's head and right into the fence, knocking her unconscious. Cameron ran over to where Amanda was lying and wrapped his arms around her.
"AMANDA!!! AMANDA!!! Speak to me….are you alright?? AMANDA!!! Wake up!!"
Cameron got no response. The show's doctor came over and checked Amanda's vital signs. He asked Cameron if he knew who she was. Cameron shook his head yes.
"Then go find her family and tell them we are taking her to the hospital. They need to get over there fast. Her brain is swelling and her condition is quite serious!" the doctor told Cameron.
Cameron took another horse and rode as fast as he could to the Cory's. He knocked but was told that Rachel and Matthew were at the mine. He got directions on how to get out to the mine, which was approximately 2 miles outside of town. He made it there in record time, and caught up to Rachel and Matt just before they were to enter the mine for a quick tour and inspection.
"Mrs.Hutchins…Matthew….come quick!!"
"Cameron…what is it?? What's wrong?? Is it Amanda?"
"Mrs. Hutchins….Amanda tried to ride my horse and he threw her! She's hurt real bad. The doctor said he was taking her to the hospital. You gotta come quick…please….."
Rachel excused herself from the meeting and was joined by Matthew. They rode into town and to the hospital where the doctor has taken Amanda. By the time they got there, Amanda was in with two doctors. It must have seemed like a lifetime that Rachel, Matt and Cameron waited until a doctor did come out to explain her condition.
"Who, here, is a relative of Amanda Cory?"
Rachel looked over at Cameron, and said, "We all are. How is she doctor? How is my daughter?"
"Mrs.Hutchins, the news we have is not good. Amanda may have a brain injury.She hit that fence with a tremendous amount of force. Her brain was swelling and we are unsure if that has stopped. We will monitor her condition throughout the night. If you care to go home, we will make sure to contact you if there is any change in her condition."
"We are staying!!" Rachel said, putting an arm around Cameron and Matthew,"all of us! Can we go in and see her now?"
"Yes you may, but please don't stay long!"
Rachel and Matthew went in first. Cameron stayed at the door, afraid to look. He heard Rachel weeping and telling Amanda she would be all right. That her father would never let anything happen to her. How much she loved her. Matt told her the same.
They left the room and as they did, Rachel gave Cameron a loving squeeze."Keep an eye on my daughter, will you Mr.Sinclair? Matt and I are going to get a few pleasantries for Amanda.I have a feeling she may be here for some time." Rachel and Matt left, leaving Amanda and Cameron alone.
Cameron was afraid, but he moved closer to the bed. It took all the courage he had to look down at Amanda.He did, and he was alarmed at what he saw. That beautiful face was bruised. Her hair was full of dirt and dust. She looked so peaceful, but he knew the seriousness of her condition. Cameron took his shaking hand and gently pushed Amanda's hair away from her face.
He began sobbing…..and found it hard to keep his emotions inside. "Amanda…I am sorry…..I am so sorry!!!"
Chapter Eight
Cameron kept looking at Amanda and brushing away the hair from her eyes. He didn't know what to say anymore. She was seriously hurt and it was all his fault. If he had just stayed at the party and stood up to Madeline and Chandler, none of this would have happened. Amanda would have been safe and sound at home, or on a ride with him to Lake Myers. But no! That stubborn Sinclair pride made him leave somewhere he always wanted to be-in the presence of a beautiful woman who he thought loved, and who had respected him. For what he was. For what he could be. He felt he could be anything with Amanda by his side.
"What have I done?…What have I done??" Cameron kept mumbling over and over, until he felt the gentle touch of Rachel's hand on his shoulder.
"Come on, Cameron. Matthew and I are having some coffee. You've been sitting with my daughter since she came in. We can't be of any help to her if we get tired and let ourselves get sick! So I must insist!" Rachel grabbed Cameron's arm, gave it a tug, and convinced him to leave Amanda's side for a few minutes.
By the time Rachel and Cameron made it to Matthew, they had been joined by Madeline, Chandler, and a few of Amanda's other acquaintances from town.
"Mrs. Hutchins, is she going to be all right? The doctors wouldn't tell us anything!!" Madeline asked.
"That's because YOU aren't family!" Matthew spewed at her.
At this point, Madeline shook her finger at Cameron, who was already feeling terrible, and answered,"And HE IS???"
Rachel grabbed a hold of Madeline's arm rather tightly and pulled her off to the side. "There will be none of that kind of talk here, you understand me? Cameron has been with Amanda since they brought her in here. He will stay here as long as he wishes to. Do I make myself clear?"
Pulling herself away from Rachel's grip, she said, "Perfectly!"
"Then let's get back to the business of getting Amanda well, shall we?" Rachel motioned for everyone to come and sit down. And wait.
As the night wore on and turned into day, the number of guests outside Amanda's room had dwindled down to 4: Rachel, Matt, Madeline and Cameron. Doctors were constantly going in and out of her room, checking her vital signs, changing her dressings, and making sure she was comfortable. After checking her about 8a.m., one of the doctors motioned to Rachel that he wanted to talk to her.
"Doctor, how is she? I am concerned. She hasn't awakened yet. " Rachel stated.
"That's true Mrs. Hutchins. That also has us worried! The swelling on her brain has decreased some, but there is no way to determine the extent of her injuries without going in to look."
"Are you telling me my daughter needs surgery??" Rachel grew weak at the mention of surgery, but Matthew was right there to hold his mother up.
"Doctor, can't we just wait and see if Amanda wakes up? My sister's a strong lady, you know." Matthew pleads with the doctor.
"If we wait too long, and don't relieve the swelling on Amanda's brain, the damage will be done and there will be nothing medical science can do to repair it!"
Rachel didn't know what to do. Matthew was worried at the thought of what surgery would not only do to Amanda, but to his mother as well. Madeline wanted to run into Amanda's room and take the pain away. Cameron was a lost soul. He wept quietly, with his head buried in his hands.
"All right."Rachel said."This is a family decision. What do we do? Matthew?"
"I don't know mom. I'm not a doctor. I don't want to see her go through surgery and come out worse than when she went in." Matthew said.
"But the doctors told us we cannot wait long, otherwise there will be no hope!" Rachel answered. She didn't know where to turn for guidance.
"Cameron……what do you think?" Rachel wondered.
"Oh Mrs.Hutchins, you shouldn't be asking me for anything. I am the reason your daughter is here. If I hadn't come to her party, she wouldn't have run off and ended up on my horse. She would have been at home-with all of you-celebrating!!! And look at her!! She's unconscious!!! She's….she's……" Cameron fell to his knees, with his head in his hands, sobbing.
"Cameron, you are NOT the cause of my daughter's injuries. That was an accident. What we have to remember now is that we are here for Amanda, isn't that right, Madeline?"
"You're right Mrs. Hutchins. You are absolutely right!" Madeline mumbled.
"Then I think the best thing for us to do right now is to support Amanda, and each other. I am going to tell the doctors to wait until the last possible minute to do any surgery. Would you agree?" Rachel asked. Everyone shook their heads yes, and Rachel went to inform the doctors of their decision.
Days turned into night and back into day again. Everyone tried to go on with their regular activities: Rachel had 2 small children to take care of, Matthew had the business of the mine to worry about, and Madeline was thinking of going back home early, as this visit was certainly not what she expected. Cameron tried his best to put on a good show with the fans, but his concentration was off and it showed. The people applauded, but his heart was not in his work. It was at the hospital, in room 2. Amanda's room.
Cameron was at the hospital every day. After each show, he cleaned himself up and walked to the hospital, where he was sure to see Rachel-sometimes more than once. Matt was there as often as he could be. Madeline came and went as she pleased.
On one sunny afternoon, Cameron walked into Amanda's room with a bouquet of daisies in one hand, and a letter he wrote in the other. He knew there had been no response from her to any outside stimulus since she arrived and that soon, Rachel would have to decide whether or not Amanda would have surgery. He was determined to get her to feel something. Anything.
"Hello Mrs.Hutchins. How are you today? How's Amanda?"
"Still no change, Cameron. I am worried. I thought she would have responded by now. I don't want to see my daughter have to go through surgery." Rachel answered.
"Well, I will do anything to help you. You know that."
"Yes I do, son. Cameron, Amanda is very lucky to have someone like you in her life. And once she comes out of this mess, I am going to make sure she thanks you properly."
As Rachel walked over to give Cameron a hug, Madeline walked into the room.
"Mrs. Hutchins, you know there isn't anything I wouldn't do for Amanda. She has been one person who has welcomed me to town and made me feel like I belong here. Do you have any idea how good that feels?" Cameron asked. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. ANYTHING!!"
"I know, son. I know."Rachel reached over and gave Cameron a warm pat on the back.
"I know too, Cameron. Could I talk to you for a minute please?" Madeline asked. "Rachel, would you excuse us?"
Rachel gave Madeline a look of disapproval, until she saw Cameron nod his head that it was all right. Cameron held the door for Madeline as they left the room and Rachel sat besides her daughter's bed, telling her the events of the day….what the twins had been up to, the business at the mines..anything to keep talking and not thinking about Amanda's actual condition.
Madeline walked over to the small sitting area and asked Cameron to sit down.
"This is quite hard for me, I must admit." Madeline started.
"You wanted to talk to me? Is this going to take long, because I want to get back to Amanda." Cameron kept looking up, and his eyes were riveted on the door.
"No. It won't take long, if I can get up the nerve."
"The nerve for what?"
"To apologize for the way I have been treating you. I was out of line."
Cameron didn't know what to say. He wanted to give Madeline the benefit of the doubt, but he was suspicious. Always thinking.
"Madeline, what you may or may not think of me is unimportant. Getting Amanda well and out of the hospital is. As much as I want to sit here and listen to this apology, I need to get back to Amanda."Cameron answered.
"That's just it, Cameron. You've been here every day for her, no matter what. You have no life outside this hospital. I respect that. I just wanted you to know."
Cameron barely heard what Madeline had said just then. He nodded acknowledgment, and went back into Amanda's room.
"Is everything ok, Cameron?" Rachel wondered.
"Nothing matters except the lady in the bed here. Not me. Just her."
Rachel smiled and left the room. Cameron reached over and took Amanda's hand in his.
"Amanda……I hope you like these flowers. I also have this letter I wrote for you today. I hope you don't mind if I read it." Cameron grabbed a small pair of spectacles out of his pocket and began…..
"Amanda,
Each day I come to the hospital with hopes that you will be sitting up in bed and giving me that look…where your bottom lip curls and those eyes of yours light up the sky. But every day I leave disappointed. Not in you. Never in you.
From the moment I first saw you on the street outside the general store, I knew you were full of the dickens. But I also knew that standing right in front of me was a woman full of life and love, whose respect I wanted but didn't deserve.
I will always be here for you Amanda. I am so sorry I ran out of your party that way. But I couldn't stand to see the hurt in your eyes when you opened my gift. Or the hurt I thought I would see.
When you went down to the lake and said the poem out loud from memory, I couldn't believe it. You knew then, what was in my heart, just as I hope you do now.
I know I haven't spoken these words to you, but I feel you can read my mind. I love you Amanda Cory. I love you for the woman you are. And for the man I want to be because of you.
Get well, please. I want you to come with me and share my life.
Cameron.
Cameron wiped his eyes and looked over at Amanda, hoping for some sign of life. Nothing. He reached over to brush the hair from her forehead and gave her a light kiss there. Then he moved his lips slowly down to hers, and lingered there.
The doctor came into the room and tapped Cameron on the shoulder. He wanted to see if there was any change and to check her vital signs. Cameron got up to leave, but not before looking over his shoulder at Amanda's lifeless body. He started to walk out of the room, when he remembered the letter he wrote. He went over to her bed, took her hand in his, and wrapped the letter between her fingers. They could hardly hold onto it, but Cameron put the letter there anyway.
Cameron walked outside Amanda's room, and over to where Rachel was sitting. She was trying very hard to cover up that she was worried about her daughter, but she knew the heartache Cameron was also going through. So she tried to remain as positive as possible. Soon Matthew and Madeline came by to see Amanda and were told to go wait with the rest of the family.
It was about a half-hour when the doctor came out into the hallway and walked up to Rachel.
"Mrs. Hutchins, I am sorry but I have some very bad news…."
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