Pain Is Love

by Lizzie

Chapter 13

"However you do it, do it fast. Social Services will be here at 8 on the dot."

Cameron went downstairs to the kitchen and pulled out a pad of paper and a pen from the junk drawer. He sat down at the dining room table and began to write the worse letter he could ever imagine he’d have to write.

Dear Amanda,

This is as peculiar for you to read as it is for me to write, but I just couldn’t do it face to face. First off, I want you to know that I love you. Now and Always. Last night was incredible for me, but there was a turn of events at the Sinclair household. I won’t go into great detail about it except for this: Even though I turn 18 in like, 2 months, I am still considered a minor till I graduate. Therefore, me and Gary have to motor out of here to beat Social Services. Once I can call you, I will, I know how you worry. But I know if Social Services gets me, I will be sent away and not allowed to contact anyone. This is for the best. Gary needs me now, and you... you need to lead a normal life, without all the dramatics that came with being with me. Again, never forget I love you, but knowing that, do me a favor. Live your life. Don’t wait around for me, trust me, I’m not worth it. Have fun, meet new people, date, whatever. I will never regret any second that we were together and I will never forget you.

Good-bye Amanda.

~Cameron~

P.S. One day, I was in your room and your music was playing and I normally chinch at the sound of Britney Spears, but this song is very relevant for my thoughts and can probably explain them better than I ever could. Anyway, it’s the end of the song by Britney Spears and Don Phelps called ‘I Will Still Love You.’

Cameron folded the letter and sealed it into an envelope. Cameron told Gary he was going to go give it to her but that he would be back by 7 AM. He got his coat and ran to Amanda’s. He figured it was still too early for the rest of the Cory’s to be up, so he went through her window again. Amanda had gone back to sleep and Cameron thought it was better that way anyway. He lied the envelope on the pillow next to her and climbed out the window. He walked home in the front door and saw Gary sitting with the guys from Social Services. "No!" he screamed.

"Sorry son, you have to come with us."

"I’m sorry, Cameron."

"Gary, find a way to fight this!" said Cameron as Social Services put him in the car and drove away.

"There is no way, bro." he sighs and grabs his bag, he still had a train to catch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Figures I couldn’t think up anything cheerful with the way I feel right now." Amanda says to herself as Mr. Rialcnis opens her door to let her out and they walk into the bank together. Meanwhile, back at his house, things were falling apart. The person that opened the door to the room with Gary and Josie in it was none other than Cameron, and he had the keys to the cell.

"How the...?"

"Quantico trained me well. The shot you heard was one of the bodyguards."

"Nice job, so what’s your plan."

"Well, first, I thought I would get you out of your luxury torture cell, then I say we jet to that bank."

"But if we are too late and he comes back here with no one left, he will probably hurt Amanda."

"True, but if we wait for him here he’s going to realize he has no bodyguards."

"How about we do this..." and Josie begins telling them her plan. After some time, Mr. Rialcnis and Amanda pulled into his drive way.

"Bravo! Your performance was great! One thing, tomorrow when we get the money, try not to look so sad, they will suspect something."

"You just killed my husband and an holding me hostage so you can steal my family’s money, pardon me if I don’t do skips of joy for your pathetic self."

"Please, I did you a favor. If Cameron would have gotten the money, he would of found a way to mess it up. Love and money don’t mix."

"Just shut the hell up with your stupid philosophy lesson and put me back in my cell. At least there I don’t have to be near you."

"Very well." he shrugs as he opens the door and is immediately hit in the head with a statue. Amanda almost falls back down the stairs she was so startled but Cameron caught her arm and pulled her in. Gary dragged Mr. Rialcnis to the cell and locked it.

"How... oh my god!" Amanda wouldn’t let go of Cameron. "I thought I lost you."

"I promised I’d never let you go. I keep my promises. Besides, you weren’t going to get rid of me that easy, I own you."

"Fair is fair. But promise me you have a plan to get us out of here."

"I suggest a plane." Gary butts in.

"Without dealing with the money of Mr. Rialcnis?" says Josie.

"I think Joe can handle that." says Cameron.

"He’s coming?"

"Yea, I called him when I was ‘dead’, he and a squad are coming. So I think we are good to go."

"Don’t have to tell me twice. Let’s go!" The group goes to get Cameron and Gary’s stuff at the hotel and then they go to the airport. Amanda sat back in her seat and took a deep breath. This was the first time she has relaxed in 4 days. She turned her head and looked at Cameron sleeping in his chair. She doesn’t know how he got free, and she doesn’t care. She loves him so much and can’t imagine how she would have lived without him, if she somehow got out of Las Vegas. Amanda knew without him there was no her and she planned to only focus on her family. They were the only thing truly important to her. She took Cameron’s hand in hers and smiled when he squeezed back. Even after all this, and even while he was asleep, he was still so alert and protective. She loved it. She was safe, even when she wasn’t. Unfortunately, with an hour left on the flight, her mind wondered to her dream, where she was safe, but not happy........

Amanda tossed and turned as the buzzing sound from her alarm clock continued. She sits up and leans over to turn it off. She sees the note on the pillow and looks at it intriguingly. She opens the envelope and unfolds the letter. She smiles as she begins to read it, but her smile fades into tears as she continues down the letter. As she finishes the letter, she looks over her music and picks out the CD Cameron mentioned. She skips to the end and listens intently.

"Time may take us apart, that's true

But I will always be there for you

You're in my heart, you’ll be in my dreams

No matter how many miles we’ve seen

I promise you that I wont forget

The day we kissed or the day we met

The sky may fall and the stars may tilt

But I will still, I will still Love you"

Amanda can’t believe it. The song did go along with everything Cameron was saying in his letter, but she didn’t want it to. Amanda never believed high school could hold real love for her. But everything was changing. Cameron changed it for her.

"Honey, you have a visitor."

"Thank you, mother." Amanda puts on her robe and walks downstairs. "Gary?"

"Hey Amanda." he pauses. "I just wanted to say bye."

"Seems to be the theme." she pauses. "But maybe you can tell me why that is the theme."

"I don’t know what Cameron told you, but I swear, I saw the look on his face and he didn’t even think about all the other things this affects, he only thought about you."

"What did happen?"

"Just read the newspaper, you’ll find out. I have to go or I’ll miss my train, I just wanted to say thanks and bye."

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Chicago. I have a job there now. A new start." he grabs his bag. "Happy New Year Amanda." and he leaves.

Amanda sighs and slumps down on the couch. "Yea, Happy New Year."

5 months later

"Wow, not only in movies can they skip time, but in my dreams too." Amanda says to herself as she wakes up to the plane landing. They get off the plane and Cameron and Gary go over to get there bags. Amanda waits for Cameron but is practically tackled by an ecstatic Alli.

"You’re home!!!"

"Actually, we are in the airport kid." says Cameron as he walks back over with his bag.

"Cameron!" she runs over to him and hugs him, too. Amanda and Cameron look at each other in a parenthood bliss kind of way. Cameron was truly touched that Alli missed him this much. He never thought they would get this close, especially after their rocky start. Gary and Josie went home in a cab and Amanda, Cameron and Alli took the car Alli came in back to the Cory Mansion.

"Your life is like a movie, mom."

"Why do you say that?"

"Danger, Love and with a great supporting actress." as she points to herself.

"Cute, but yours isn’t much different. In fact, there is your leading man."

"Happy New Year."

"Sean!"she goes over to him. "I was wondering where you were. I saw the rest of your family but you were in hiding."

"I was in the back looking at your family’s stereo system and your Cd’s."

"Oh yea" she takes his hand and leads him back to the music room. She puts in a CD with a sly grin. "Would you dance with me?"

"I guess I have to." he smiles and takes her hand and pulls her close. They sway to the song and smile at how it relates to them.

"No one ever said that

Love was gonna be easy

Gotta take the ups and downs

The in-betweens

If you take this journey

Gotta give yourself completely

Never let nobody ever step on a dream

You better stop

Listen to these words I say

You better stop

Don't you throw this good thing away

no no

Put your trust in me

And I'll make you see

No the rain wont last forever

Find a way to make it better

Long as we can stand together

Love will find a way

Gonna make a new tomorrow

Say good-bye to tears and sorrow

Better listen when I say

Love will find a way

Somebody tried to tell me love

doesn't last forever

Said it only happens in your wildest dreams

After all is said and done

We're still here together

Never listen to the lies and jealousy

You better stop

Don't you let them turn you around

You better stop

Hang onto this love that we've found

Nothing ever say

Can stand in our way

No the rain wont last forever

Find a way to make it better

Long as we can stand together

Love will find a way

Gonna make a new tomorrow

Say good-bye to tears and sorrow

Better listen when I say

Love will find a way."

"No taking me to the park this year?"

"Geeze, I just took you to Vegas, quit whining."

"Shh! Shh! 10...9...8..." everyone else joined in the watch the ball drop for 2002. "7...6...5...4...3...2...1!! Happy New Year!!" The sound of cheering and clinking glasses engulfed the room.

"To a Happy New Year." said Rachel as she raised her glass. Everyone agreed and toasted. Amanda knew 2002 was going to be great. She was finally on her way to everything she always needed and wanted. She started to wonder how things went for her and the Rule High gang..............

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~ Chapter 14 ~

(As previously stated, 5 months later....)

It was graduation day and Amanda was in the car with her mother and Matthew on the way to the school’s ceremony. Amanda knew she should be thinking about how exciting it will be to go to a New York City college and study art, but it being graduation, she was too focused on reflecting upon her senior year, more or less, the last 5 months. All-and-all, it hasn’t been half bad. She focused a lot on her artwork and even got some scholarships for some of it. Evan took her to prom which didn’t sound like a good idea when first propositioned, but actually turned out pretty okay. Amanda took the night to mend her friendships with him as well as Susan and that was more important than anything else that could have happened that night. The car pulled up to the ceremony and Amanda got out of the car and put her gown on over her clothes and carried her hat. She walked past all the guests that had already arrived, hoping to see, well, Cameron. Or even Gary. She tried not to dwell on the fact that she still needed to see him, but in reflecting her senior year, it would be impossible to leave Cameron out of it. He changed her life, on more ways than one. She took a deep breath and shrugged it off. She went to her assigned seat and listened to the music that was playing while she waited for the principal to start the ceremony.

"90 miles outside Chicago

Can't stop driving

I don't know why

So many questions

I need an answer

Two years later you're still on my mind

Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart

Who holds the stars up in the sky

Is true love once in a lifetime

Did the captain of the titanic cry

Someday we'll know

If love can move a mountain

Someday we'll know

Why the sky is blue

Someday we'll know

Why I wasn't meant for you

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis

Or what the wind says when she cries

I'm speeding by the place that I met you

For the 97th time tonight

Someday we'll know

If love can move a mountain

Someday we'll know

Why the sky is blue

Someday we'll know

Why I wasn't meant for you

Someday we'll know

Why Samson loved Delilah

One day I'll go

Dancing on the moon

Someday you'll know

That I was the one for you

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow

I watched the stars crash in the sea

If I could ask god just one question

Why aren't you here with me

Someday we'll know

If love can move a mountain

Someday we'll know

Why the sky is blue

Someday we'll know

Why I wasn't meant for you

Someday we'll know

Why Samson loved Delilah

One day I'll go

Dancing on the moon

Someday you'll know

That I was the One for you"

 

Cameron found himself thinking about the past 5 months as well. He actually got the opportunity to see Gary and was really happy to hear that he got a job as a detective and he even told him that he was dating another officer named Josie. Unfortunately, he wasn’t allowed to contact anyone else. He was trapped in a small foster home with 2 strict adults and the only upside being another girl there, Katie. She was about his age and a pretty good person to talk to. He received his diploma in the mail and was stuck wondering what the ceremony was like. Katie was playing the radio while sitting on her bed reading a magazine and the song intrigued Cameron.

"I finally realize

That you are my true love

And I had a lot of time to think

And you're all I seem

To keep think, to keep thinkin' of

And now I know I need ya

Each and every day

I can't live without ya

So don't run away

I can't think

Think about this crazy day

I lose sleep

Just to daydream about you baby

I'm goin' crazy, crazy, crazy

Just thinkin' about you lately

I'm goin' crazy, crazy, crazy

Just thinkin' about you baby

I'm goin' crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy

Thinkin' about you lately

I'm goin' crazy, crazy

And I can't touch you

Crazy, crazy

And I can't hold you"

"Katie, cover for me?"

"I was wondering how many more times I was going to have to play this song!" she smiles and he smiles back and jumps out their window. He looked at his watch and decided to take the bus. He didn’t think he could make it to the ceremony, but he knew he could at least get to the city by tonight. Meanwhile, back in the city, the ceremony had ended and everyone was wishing wells and piling back into their cars. Most were off the parties or family gatherings, but Amanda just wanted to go home. She walked up the stairs and went into her room. She hung up and hat and gown and closed her closet door. She turned her head as her room flooded with music as her CD player started to play.

"They read you Cinderella

you hoped it would come true

that one day your prince charming would come rescue you

you like romantic movies

and you never will forget

the way it felt when Romeo kissed Juliette

and all this time that you've been waiting

you don't have to wait no more

I can love you like that

I would make you my world

move heaven and earth if you were my girl

I would give you my heart

be all that you need

show you you're everything that's precious to me

if you give me a chance, I can love you like that

I never make a promise

I don't intend to keep

so when I say forever

forever's what I mean

I’m no Casanova

but I swear this much is true,

I’ll be holding nothing back

when it comes to you

you dream of love that's everlasting

well baby open up your eyes...

I can love you like that

I would make you my world

move heaven and earth if you were my girl

I would give you my heart

be all that you need

show you you're everything that's precious to me

if you give me a chance, I can love you like that

if you want tenderness

I’ve got tenderness

and I see through to the heart of you

if you want a man

who will understand

you don't have to look very far

I can love you, girl I can (I can love you love you)

oh baby oh...

I can love you like that

I would make you my world

move heaven and earth if you were my girl

I would give you my heart

be all that you need

show you you're everything that's precious to me

I can love you........."

Amanda pressed stop before the song had time to end.

"So, is that a no?" says Cameron as he appears from her bathroom door.

"Cameron?" she says shocked.

"Not without you."

"What?"

"Remember, I’m just Cam the guy that everyone loves because he scores touchdowns. I want to be Cameron, the guy you love."

"And why is that?" As she smiles, a little touched he remembers that conversation.

"Well, it really doesn’t matter. Both of us love you and never will hurt you again. But the Cameron you used to love swears with all his heart and his mind that he never meant to in the first place."

"Amanda slowly walks over to Cameron, who is starring at his feet now. She lifts his face with her hand and sees a tear fall. "There is no past tense. I still love you." she pulls him in for a long, tender hug as they sorta sway to the music in the background.

"...In places no one would find

All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)

It was then that I realized

That forever was in your eyes

The moment I saw you cry

I wanted to hold you

I wanted to make it go away

I wanted to know you

I wanted to make your everything, all right....

I'll always remember...

It was late afternoon...

In places no one would find...

In places no one would find

All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)

It was then that I realized

That forever was in your eyes

The moment I saw you cry"

"I know I told you not to wait for me and I am sure you have plenty of options, but I just had to see you. I had to tell you that I was sorry, and that no matter your choice, you would always be a part of me... literally!"

She smirks knowing he is referring to her blood she gave him when he was in the hospital. "I’m glad you came." she leaned in for a soft kiss. Cameron lightly placed one hand on her lower back to pull her in and one hand caressed her face. After a nice reconciliation, Cameron and Amanda just laid in her bed talking about what happened in their lives in the past 5 months. Cameron told Amanda that he was going to a NYC college to play football and Amanda was amazed that they would have ended up in the same city.

"It’s fate. Even if you wouldn’t have came, we would have met up again."

"Sure, with all bad must come good, destiny is great, and etc... but didn’t you like my romantic entrance back into your life?"

"I loved it." they laughed and he pulled her in for a soft kiss. They continued reminiscing about their future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That’s a way to end a dream!" said Amanda to herself as Cameron brought her another glass of non-alcoholic champagne.

"To whatever had comes to our lives, nothing but good follows."

Amanda clinked her glass but before taking a sip she said "Pain is love." Cameron smiled and gave her a soft kiss. They called Alli out and piled into the car. They weren’t out the driveway and Alli was asleep. Amanda looked at Cameron as he took her hand. She smiled and kissed it, then placed it on her stomach.

"I love you." Cameron said tenderly.

"And I, you." she smiled as she sat back and thought about what the future would hold for them.

 

Authors Note: The first song mentioned was "Someday we’ll know" by the New Radicals. The second was part of "Crazy" by KCI and JoJo and the third was "I can love you like that" by All-4-One. The last song was "Cry" by Mandy Moore. I used a lot of songs in this story because I feel music is the biggest form of emotional expression. I hope you enjoyed it!

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