Monkee Quotes
"MONKEEMEN...AWAY!!!!!!" ~Davy Jones, Peter Tork, Micky Dolnez, Mike Nesmith
"That machine was ten times smarter than me."-Peter tork
"Look, it's ok. Besides, you've got something that machine don't have. You've got friends."-Mike Nesmith
"Hey, you've got some friends, Pete? Why don't you bring them over some time?"-Micky Dolnez
"Come on, you guys." ~Davy
"Your mother and I have been worried about you for some time
now, Davy." ~Micky
"And you've been setting a poor example for your baby brother." ~Peter
"Gootchie gootchie-goo, baby." ~Micky
"Please, son, don't talk to no strangers after midnight." ~Mike
"I was raised in the slums. I had to fight me way out of filth and poverty!!!!" Davy Jones
"Davy, you were raised in a residential area!!!!" Mike Nesmith
"One more remark like that, and I'll hit you with me purse!" Davy Jones
"He doesn't carry a purse, he carries a wallet!!!!" Peter Tork
"How will you ever be president if you don't chew your food?" Micky Dolnez
"I don't wanna be president." Peter Tork
"Shh! Don't talk with your mouth full!"~ Micky Dolenz
"I can't move my arms......." Micky Dolenz
"I can't move your arms either........" Mike Nesmith
"Will the real David Jones, please stand up?" Micky Dolenz
"I am standing up." Davy Jones
"Quick. Suck it before the venom reaches my heart."~ Terri Garr
"Okay! I will!" Micky Dolenz
"They call me El Dolienzo! Also known as the bandit without a soul!!" Micky Dolenz
"And they call me El Nesmitto! Also known as the bandit without any conscious!!" ~Mike Nesmith
"And they call me El Tordto! The bandit without a nickname!!" ~Peter Tork
"Davy's in love" Micky Dolenz
"Yea for the first time today" Mike Nesmith
"Water your Horse?! But I'm not a stable boy" Davy Jones
"I don't care about your mental condition, Water my horse." Ben Cartwheel
"All right, Monkees, come on out. We know you're in
there." ~cops
"Hey, what do they want us for?" ~Micky
"Oh! That library book--it's a week overdue." ~Peter
Micky Dolenz: "Hi, my name is Captain Ahab and I've sailed the seven seas in search of the great white whale, Moby Dick. Have you seen him?"
Davy Jones: "No."
Micky: "Well, if you see him, tell him I'll be in my cabin."
Micky Dolenz: "Hey! That little guy looks like Davy."
Peter Tork: "It is Davy."
Micky Dolnez: "Yah."
"I am Micky Dolenz!!" Micky Dolenz
"WRONG you are Monkee #1!!!" Brian Auger
"I am Peter Tork!!" Peter Tork
"WRONG you are Monkee #2!!!" Brian Auger
"I am Michael Nesmith!!" Mike Nesmith
"WRONG you are Monkee #3!!!" Brian Auger
"I am Davy Jones!!" Davy Jones
"WRONG you are Monkee #4!!!" Brian Auger
Davy Jones: "Peter's missing!"
Mike Nesmith: "Did you look on the piano?"
Davy Jones: "There's no piano 'ere."
Mike Nesmith: "Oh, well, that's why he's missing."
"Even Peter thinks we're guilty." ~Davy
"I don't think you're guilty. I just don't see how you could
possibly be innocent." ~Peter
Mike Nesmith: "Wow! what a great chick! look at that body and those sideburns..."
Davy Jones: "Cool it, Mike, Cool it"
Mike Nesmith: "I will honor your spine with a walk across it. Down peasant!"
Peter Tork: "my spine thanks you!"
Rose Marie: "Food should not be eaten with the fingers."
Mike Nesmith: "The fingers should be eaten separately."
Mike & Micky: Peter!? HE'S GONE!!
Micky: Maybe we make it a duet?
Mike: Noooo
Micky: If you get lost I'll e a single!! (sings) Here I come walking down the street, get the funny looks from everyone I meet. Hey, Hey, I'm a Monkee.
Mike Nesmith: "My heart wants you and, my soul wants you."
Lady: "Well, what do you hear from your liver?"
Mike Nesmith: "Not much."
Mike Nesmith: "They haven't seen it yet, okay, now they've sighted it. There's a better shot of it. There. There it is, over the hill. Now he's got it! The kid's got it!"
Some guy: "What is it?"
Mike Nesmith:" Infinite Rider On The Big Dogma."
Davy: Oh no, no, Mr. Bandit, please, I didn't mean it, honestly! It was a joke, honestly!"
Peter: Davy, it's me, Peter.
Davy: Petah who?
Peter: Peter Tork
Davy: Oh Petah!
Peter: Davy!
Davy: Petah!
Peter: Davy!
Davy: Petah!
Peter: Davy!
guy: "Where's she going?"
Mike Nesmith: "I give up, where?"
Mike Nesmith: "Come on Micky there's nothing wrong with your voice"
Peter Tork: "Are you kidding? Have you ever heard him sing?"
chick: "Quick, suck it before the venom reaches my heart."
Mike Nesmith: "What heart?"
Man: "Take this Wizard Glick!"
Mike Nesmith: "Oooh. Guhhh .......Who?"
Man: "Wizard Glick."
Mike Nesmith: "Man, I'm not Wizard Glick!"
Man: "Oh, you're not?"
Mike: "Of course I'm not Wizard Glick!"
Mike Nesmith: "A cigarette?...Oh this is not one of your standard brands!"
Micky Dolnez: "Oh, an el zoomo!"
Lady: "I grow impatient!"
Peter Tork: "I grow daffodils!"
Micky Dolnez: "We can't take him anywhere."
Peter Tork: "Yes you can, you brought me here."
Man: "When you think of a Gypsy you think of a dancer."
Peter Tork: "I think of Ethel Merman!"
Some Guy: "They gotta have knowledge of the seven seas."
Peter Tork: "Atlantic, uh, Pacific, Arctic, Antarctic, uh, Baltic, Mediterranean, North, Indian, uh, Lake Herbs, and uh, the Mississippi."
Micky Dolnez: "Boy, Pete. You sure know how to use your mouth."
Micky Dolnez: "Come on Peter"
Peter Tork: "'Come on Peter'. Before it was 'Shut up Peter' and from you, 'Don't be rude, Peter' ."
Peter: Oh, hey, look fellas, all the comforts of home.
Mike: Of your home, shotgun, not mine.
Micky Dolnez: "Do you recognize this man?"
Peter Tork :"Is this a trick question?"
Davy Jones: "I'd like a pair of maracas."(man hands him yellow maracas) "Got any in red?"
Man: "They're yours, for six dollars.
Davy Jones: "Aw, I only have 50 cents.
Man: "They're yours".
Lady: "Who was the 8th president of the United States of America?"
Peter Tork: "I'm afraid I don't know that."
Lady: "The boss isn't here and a sound like a nice guy. I'll let you know his last name Van..."
Peter Tork: "Van Johnson"
Lady: "No."
Peter Tork: "Van Heflen"
Lady: "No!"
Peter Tork: "Which one's wrong, Van or Heflen?"
Lady:" Van is right, it's his last name."
Peter Tork:"Moving Van!"
Lady: "No"
Peter Tork: "Pickup Truck!"
Lady: "His first name is Martin"
Peter Tork: "Dean Martin!"
Lady:"Martin ... Van..."
Peter Tork: "Martin Van Burin!"
Lady: "Alright, all I need is your name."
Peter Tork: "Oh, could you give me a hint?"
Newsperson: "Have you exercised?"
Peter Tork: "No, It's too complicated."
Mike Nesmith: "You know, we haven't worked in a month?"
Peter Tork: "Gee, it seems more like four weeks!"
Peter Tork: "This is picture of my wife"
Jed: "that thar is a coyote"
Peter Tork: "Oh hehe this is the picture of my wife!"
Jed "that thar is a bear"
Peter Tork: "well, it gets lonely in the hills"
Peter Tork(in English accent): "You must be joking!" Davy Jones: "Hey that's my line!"
Peter Tork (still in English accent): "I'm sorry."
Peter Tork: "Hey guys, we're too young to be behind a bar."
Micky Dolnez: "Well go out there."
Peter Tork: "That's what I said, we're just fine where we are."
Man: "What do you think about demonstrations? "
Peter Tork: "They're the only way to sell a vacuum cleaner."
"Mike Nesmith: El Dolenzo what are you doing?
Micky Dolnez: I'm just trying to mingle."
Micky Dolnez: "Is Gary Cooper Chinese?"
Mike Nesmith: "No"
Micky Dolnez: "Then we're being followed!"
(Chanting) Micky Dolnez: "Nahmi yo ho ringi quo - it's working, it's working"
Lady: "Where were you born?
Mickey Dolnez: In the far, mystical city of Shanghai.
Lady: Really?
Micky Dolnez: no I lied. Burbank.
Man: Wait, use the secret exit. It's through the harp.
Micky Dolnez: I coulda sworn it was through the accordian.
Davy Jones: "He's been out in the sun too long."
Micky Dolnez: "He was no bargain in the shade"
Man: "Three guys to tune one piano?"
Micky Dolnez: "Well, he does the black keys, and he does the white keys, and I do the cracks."
Micky Dolnez: "Oh, baby, it's gonna be my biggest one yet. Three years in the making. 740 cast members. 350 crew members. And 22,000 extras."
Man:" What was your greatest expense?"
Micky Dolnez: "Coffee and doughnuts."
Woman: "I understand you young men would like you're tea leaves read."
Micky Dolnez: "Oh no, I'm gonna bring mine home."
Davy Jones: "Why?"
Micky Dolnez: "It'll give me something to read in bed."
Mike Nesmith:" We're just gonna play spin the bottle. You know the regular old party game where you spin the bottle and whoever the bottle points to gets a kiss."
Micky Dolnez: "Who gets the bottle?"
Micky Dolnez: "Uh, don't do that!"
Scientist: "Why not?"
Micky Dolnez: "Uh, his pants'll fall down...yeah."
Davy Jones: "I hate good-byes."
Micky Dolnez: "Okay, Welcome to America Davy"
Mike: Look man, you've just been challenged. What are ya gonna do?
Micky: What am I gonna do? Micky Dolenz has just been challenged! What do you think I'll do?
Mike: You're gonna split
Micky: Right!
Woman: No, no, please, if you leave he'll punish the entire town!
Micky Dolnez: Baby if I don't leave he's gonna punish my entire body!!
Davy Jones: "Please, not the galley, please! Not the galley, please don't hang me, don't hang me."
Micky Dolnez: "No, not the gallows, the galley."
Davy Jones:"Oh, you had me frightened there for a minute."
Micky Dolnez: "Do the same thing."
Davy Jones:" Same thing right, yeah." Man-"That's pretty good."
Davy Jones: "mike, I just saw a fella talkin' to a popcycile!"
Mike Nesmith: "Oh yeah...well let me know if the popcycile talks back!"
cat: "So.. you wanna go around cruising for chicks?"
Davy Jones "..no"
man: "Im going to turn you into a boxing champion!!"
Davy: "Oh, thats nice, yeah..."
guy: "Why does the camel sleep with one eye facing the desert moon?"
Davy Jones: "To keep his pants up?"
MAN: "You re a good boy!"
Davy Jones: "Thank you very much. Can I have a cookie?"
Mike Nesmith: "What is this up, up, and away business?"
Davy Jones: "I wanna fly."
Mike Nesmith:"Why are you gonna fly? The restaurant is just half a block down."
Davy: Jones "Well, I guess we'd better walk then atten we?"
Davy Jones: "I love you, Clarese!"
Clarese: "I don't care!"
Davy Jones: "Monkee's paw, monkee's paw - I can't find it anywhere"
Girl: "I think you spell it with a y"
Davy Jones: Really? I always thought you spelled it with two e's"
Mike Nesmith: "You know, I never realized you could get so hungry saving your country."
Davy Jones: "I come from England and I'm hungry."
GIRL: "The fastest way to a woman's heart is through her mind."
Davy Jones: "You know, I never would of thought of that route."
"Now Butch, I'm not going back any further." Mike Nesmith
"And why not?" Butch
"Cause I can't get over this desk..."Mike Nesmith
"Say it, CRAYON" Mike Nesmith
"Now crayon I can say" Micky Dolnez
Micky Dolnez: "But Sire, this is but a poor Inn and we don't have such things."
Knight Harold : "Well then, send out for sandwiches."
Micky Dolnez, "Right, sandwiches, yeah."
"Thats right- I showed up for the showdown."
Mrs Arcadian(to Babbit): "The boys think the world of you. Why, they were just talking about you before, what does blood sucker mean? ~Micky Dolnez
Peter Tork: "Our honor has been smearched."
Mike Nesmith: "What?"
Peter Tork: "Smurped."
Mike Nesmith: "What?"
Peter Tork: "Be-dirtied."
Mike Nesmith: "What?"
Peter Tork: "Well, they hurt my feelings."
Micky: We're on the road to success!
Mike: We're almost at the heights!
Davy: We're nearly at the top of the heap!
Peter: (excitedly) It's all downhill from here!!
"It's a song out of McKinley's play"~Micky
"Lets try it on for size!"~Davy
"Doesn't fit....how bout you?"~Micky
"No, E-flat never was my color"~Mike
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