It was during one of these conversations that Black Kettle bestowed his Indian name on Sully.
"Do you see that wolf?" he pointed to the animal lying down near Sully inside his teepee one night.
Sully nodded.
"Why do you not give thanks for him?"
Sully was confused. "Give thanks for him?"
"Cloud Dancing tells me it is the wolf who saved you. He led him to you."
"He did?" This was the first Sully had heard of it. But Black Kettle kept talking.
"He and you are linked forever more. You can see, he has not left your side."
Sully had noticed that. The few times he had tried to shoo the animal away, the wolf had not gone anywhere. In fact, Sully could have sworn the animal merely grinned at him.
"He saved you, and you are now bound to care for him."
"Bound?" Sully didn't like the sound of that.
"The Cheyenne believe that one must repay the favors of others. You owe him your life, you should give thanks."
Sully looked over at the animal, then stood up and walked over to him. Kneeling by him, he held out his hand hesitantly.
The animal gave it a lick.
Sully relaxed, and ran his fingers over the wolf's head. He looked back at Black Kettle and nodded.
"Good!" Black Kettle clapped his hands, stood up, and came over to the wolf and Sully. Sully turned to him. "I will call him Ho'nehe, after the name which he has been given."
Black Kettle nodded gravely. "And you are Ho'nehenotaxe, my Soldierwolf. For when you were found by the Ho'nehe, you were still a soldier, dressed as one."
"Ho'nehenotaxe," Sully ran the word over his tongue.
The two men stood up, and gripped each other in the Indian handshake.
The weeks continued to pass and Winter began melting into Spring. Sully continued learning from CD. One evening in late winter, as he and CD sat around the teepee fire, CD began his story of the world. "The Cheyenne believe that in the beginning, all was water...."
Cloud Dancing taught him how to hunt with a bow and arrow, and how to set snares, more humane than the metal claw traps that Sully had once used. He learned the birdcalls to communicate in the woods. And he learned Cheyenne beliefs and customs.
After the long winter, it was determined that Sully, now a full-fledged member of the band, would attend the spring buffalo hunt with the rest of the young men. CD did not go, as he was busy making the medicines his band needed.
Sully felt quite nervous as the hunting party traversed their way into mid-Kansas. The only man without a horse, he was glad they hadn't made him ride. Still, it was hard to keep up with the other men, and each night until they reached their destination he was quite exhausted from the day's trek.
But he was nervous for other reasons as well. In the short time he had lived with the Cheyenne, it was easy to realize just how much they depended on the buffalo for survival. He hoped the hunt would be a success. They needed the buffalo as the source of food, clothing, shelter, and tools for all they made.
Chief Lean Bear led the hunting expedition, just back from meeting President Lincoln in Washington D.C. There, the President had assured him of the government's desire for peace. Lean Bear was proud of the peace medal he had been given and told the story of his trip every night. He displayed it proudly along with a note signed by the President saying that the Chief could be trusted.
On the morning of May 16, 1864, the Cheyenne group noticed U.S. troops just over the rise north of Ft. Larned.
"We should go meet them," Chief Lean Bear told his group.
Sully grabbed a hold of him. "Are you sure that's wise?" he asked.
Little Porcupine, also known as Heskovetseso, nodded his head. "There has been trouble all winter," he said.
Chief Lean Bear shook his head. "I will wear the medal and show them President Lincoln's note," he told them.
The rest of the group agreed with Lean Bear's decision. So, he placed the large medal around his neck, and carrying the note in his hand, rode forward with He'kase (Soft Belly) to meet the troops. The rest of the band stayed behind.
It didn't make a difference. As soon as Lean Bear and Soft Belly were in range, the soldiers opened fire. Both Indians fell off their horse.
"Noo!!!!!!" Sully dashed ahead of his fellow Cheyenne, into the line of fire. The soldiers continued shooting, missing him. He grabbed a hold of Lean Bear and pulled him out of the shooting range. The rest of the Cheyenne, by this time, had opened fire on the soldiers, and they retreated back to Ft. Larned.
Sully looked down at Chief Lean Bear and gripped his hand. The Chief looked up at him once, then down at his medal. His eyes rolling back in his head, he died, the note from President Lincoln falling from his hand.
The year progressed for the Coopers. 1864 still brought no sign of Sully. The town seemed to have forgotten about him, as they concentrated on daily tasks. Loren Bray, still heartbroken and in mourning over his daughter’s death almost a year prior, visited her grave every Sunday with Olive.
Charlotte visited her too, bringing fresh flowers for the two graves. Sully had asked her to, and she would never let him down. She went alone each week, kneeling by the grave for over an hour, sharing her thoughts and feelings with her dead friend.
"Oh Abagail," she shivered. "I wish I knew where he was. I wish he sent some word, anything, just so I would know if he’s still alive. Where could he be?"
The winds gently increased, and Charlotte wrapped the shawl more tightly around her.
She looked down at the grave. "Perhaps..." she didn’t want to say it. "If he’s with you, Abagail, I know you two will be so happy. You and Sully and little Hannah, running together over the meadows in Heaven, playing with your daughter...holding her..." she faded off in thought.
"Ma?" She heard a voice call out.
She turned around to see her 5-year-old son standing at the edge of the graveyard. "It’s okay, Brian," she told him. "C’mon in."
He softly tiptoed up to her, holding something behind his back.
"What have you got there?" she asked him.
He blushed and looked at the smaller grave. "I brought it for Hannah," he told her, holding out a slip of Baby’s Breath.
She smiled, and nodded. "That’s very thoughtful of you Brian. Would you like to place it?"
He nodded, then solemnly placed it on top of the grave. She gave him a hug. Together they walked out of the graveyard.
The men returned home from the hunting party very somber. Sully stayed by himself for many days, preferring to sleep outdoors on the edges of the camp instead of inside the Snowbird’s teepee. Cloud Dancing finally sought him out.
"Sully?" He called to the man who was staring off into the river.
Sully didn’t answer, and CD took a seat somewhat near him, not saying a word. Sully finally looked towards him, noticing, but only turned back away.
"He was going there in peace," he finally choked out.
CD didn’t answer. Sully continued. "They didn’t even give us a chance, Cloud Dancing, they didn’t even wait to see."
CD remained silent. Then, like a child, Sully burst into tears, surprising even himself. "I hate them!" he said angrily. He stood up angrily and began walking away, but CD with amazing speed, stood up as well and stopped him with his hand.
"Hate in your soul will only hurt you, not those whom you hate. You must release your hate, let it fly away."
Sully shook his head. "Don’t you know what they did out there? They didn’t give us a chance! Don’t you even care what they did?"
"They have been doing that for years!" CD exclaimed angrily. Sully had never seen him that way, and took a step back at the tone of his voice. "Do you think this is something new? Do you think I do not care? They are killing my people, do you think it all passes me?"
"No, of course it doesn’t," Sully said, retracting. "But how do you not let the hate fill you?"
CD shook his head. "It eats at you, until it possesses you. I have seen others be filled with the hate. And I ask myself, ‘What good does it do them? What good will it do me?’ It will not stop the killing, it will not make the white man disappear. I cannot let it take away who I am, for if I do, I am not a man."
Sully took in the words, and nodded slowly. "It’s hard," he whispered.
CD nodded. "Yes it is. And it grows harder every time I hear of another attack, or another friend dead." He changed the subject. "Come, we must go. There is a ceremony tonight."
Sully looked up. "For what?" he asked.
CD smiled. "You will see."
Little Porcupine told of Ho'nehenotaxe’s bravery during the attack on the hunting party. The rest of the camp looked at Sully, their eyes filled with admiration at this white man who had jumped into the line of fire to save He’kase and Lean Bear. It was only proper that Sully tell the story himself and Heskovetseso urged him to, but Sully merely looked down at the ground, uncomfortable at telling a story in which two of his friends had died. When the story finally ended, Mo’ohtavetoo’o stood up. He pointed at Sully, and said resolutely, "Nae’ha." And so, Sully was adopted as Black Kettle’s son.
Colleen stood on the edge of Camp Creek, its waters swollen from the Spring’s tumultuous rains. This fine day in May, the eighth to be precise, was exactly the kind of day she loved, sunny, yet not too hot, with a gently breeze blowing. She discarded her bonnet on the side of the creek, letting the sun do to her what it would. Sitting down on the banks, she dipped her bare feet into the water, still icy. She shivered with delight.
She was far from home this lovely day, and if her Ma found out, she’d probably be scolded, but for once she didn’t mind. She was all alone, something that didn’t happen too often with her two brothers always around the house. Sighing, she stood up gingerly and waded in till the water was above her ankles, holding her skirts up. She laughed, and kicked the water, splashing it in the air.
Cloud Dancing and Sully stalked not too far from the creek, hunting. Hearing splashing from it, they decided to look closer. Silently, the stepped among the trees, hoping to see some animal drinking from the waters. CD saw a brown animal, withdrew an arrow from his quiver and placed it within the bow. Sully did the same.
Colleen was having the time of her life now. The nine-year-old had ceased giggling and waded back to the creek bank where she dropped her brown calico skirts, plopped down and opened a thick book, just the kind she liked. Sighing contentedly, she began.
CD was having a hard time seeing through the newly-grown brush, and he drew the bow-line back, arrow in place. He was about to release when,
"NOO!!" Sully hit his hand and the arrow went whizzing just over Colleen’s head, jamming into a tree.
Colleen screamed, and leaving her book on the bank, ran for her life. Sully watched her disappear through the woods.
CD placed his hand over his heart in relief. "Thank you, tsehe-‘neheto," he told his younger brother. "I do not know how I could have mistaken her."
Sully nodded, and waded across the creek to the other side where Colleen’s forgotten book lay. Picking it up, he read the title, Letter and Notes on the Manners, Customs and Condition of the North American Indians, by George Catlin.
A flood of memories he had been suppressing during his time with the Cheyenne came rushing back to him.
CD looked at the strange look that had crossed Sully’s face and glanced in the direction the girl had run. "Do you know her?" he asked.
Sully’s daze continued. "Yes," he said. "Yes I do." Still holding onto Colleen's book, Sully stooped over and picked up her limp bonnet.
"Who is she?" CD asked wonderingly. He walked over to the tree and pulled his arrow out of it, putting it back in his quiver.
Sully stared off into the woods, and without even realizing he was talking said, "She's the daughter of a dear friend of mine." He corrected himself. "Used to be a dear friend." He gave a sarcastic laugh. "I haven't been much of a friend."
"The daughter of Charlotte Cooper?" CD asked.
Sully was surprised. "How did you know?"
"You told me all about her, her children- do you not remember?"
Sully nodded slowly. "She's grown up so much," he whispered. "Little Colleen," he mused, "it's only been a year and she's grown up so much."
CD looked thoughtful. "A year can be a lifetime," he told Sully. "Look at how much has changed for you - and it has 'only been a year’."
Sully thought back. Only a year ago, he had been so happy with Abagail, awaiting the birth of his first child. Then, tragedy, losing both his wife and Hannah - the heartache- that dull ache in his heart that still existed today - he doubted it would ever leave. His time in the Army - a lifetime ago! it seemed - how he had hoped he could lose himself in the war- and then more tragedy- the assassination (murder really, he reflected) of the businessman/major. The feeling of hopelessness that had overwhelmed him, and then the flight away from it all - the feelings of pure terror that had enveloped him- and then his slow recovery back with Cloud Dancing and the Cheyenne. He still had so far to go, so much to learn from his adopted brother and father-, but slowly, they were filling up the empty spots inside him. There would always be a missing part- he knew- but the Cheyenne had given him renewed hope in life- the feeling that maybe, just maybe, he could find the strength to go on. And Sully was grateful.
"I wonder..." his voice seemed hollow to him and he drifted away as he thought about how the year may have fared for his best friend and her family. Ethan...he scowled, thinking of the ne'er-do-good husband of hers- how much grief had he given her in the past year he'd been gone?
Matthew...the boy had entered his teenage years by now...Sully recounted his promise, made long ago to him...
"Now look, Matthew," he remembered saying," As friends I just want to tell you, you ever need anyone to talk to, or if there's anything you ever need, you just let me know, ya hear?"
Aghast, Sully looked up at CD.
"What is the matter tsehe-vesesonestovestse?" CD asked, noting the look on Sully's face.
Sully said nothing, thinking once again of sweet, pretty, blonde Colleen, her hair swinging in tight braids, her bare feet dipping into the rushing creek water.
And Brian...how old? He quickly counted on his fingers - he would've turned 5 in March, he realized. Dejected, he sat on the edge of the bank, his shoulders slumped. He felt like such a failure.
CD had been watching Sully all along, seeing this transformation as Sully relived his past. He could tell what his brother was going through and knew that he must be patient. Sully would figure this out on his own. He would know what to do.
And that is why he said nothing as Sully sat by the side of the creek, Colleen's book and bonnet in his hands. Finally, after a long time Sully spoke, hoarsely, as if in pain.
"I didn't do right by them, Cloud Dancing," he said, looking him directly in the eye. "I didn't do right by them."
He sat up a bit straighter. "But I just can't go traipsin' back into their lives as if nothin' had happened," he looked to CD for reassurance.
CD nodded. "Yes," he agreed.
"But how can I make it up to them?" he went on, asking himself more than CD.
CD spoke up. "It is not as important to repay your mistakes as it is to learn from them and try not to let it happen again." He looked at Sully. "You will find a way.
Colleen flew through the woods back towards home, he heart filled with terror. That arrow had been just a "leetle" too close for comfort, and she honestly thought an Indian war party was after her.
"MA! MA!" she screeched as she came into the yard of her homestead.
Charlotte came running out, her hands full of flour. "Colleen, what is it?!" she noticed her hat-less, shoe-less, book-less child. "Colleen Cooper, where in heaven's name are your shoes?"
Colleen stopped dead in her tracks, as she remembered leaving everything behind. Suddenly facing an Indian war party didn't seem as bad as facing her Ma without shoes.
"Are you alright child? Mercy me!" he mother's soothing voice came as she opened her arms. Colleen gratefully found herself enclosed by those loving arms, and she told her mother, "There's Injuns after me!" She burst into tears.
Charlotte began to smile as she surveyed the land behind her daughter. "Colleen, there are no *Indians*," she made sure to pronounce the word correctly, "behind you. Now what's this all about?"
"But Ma, there were!" Colleen sputtered. "An arrow almost hit me!"
Charlotte's eyes narrowed. "Where did this happen, Colleen?"
Colleen looked downward ashamedly. "By Camp Creek, in back of the old Sully homestead."
"Colleen Cooper! After I expressly told you not to go there!"
"I'm sorry Ma, I shouldn'ta been there, but I mean it - an arrow almost got me!"
"Colleen, have you been reading that Indian book of yours again!?"
Colleen nodded mutely.
"No wonder you've got Indians on the brain."
"Ma, I mean it!"
Charlotte sobered down. "I’m sure you do, Colleen, but in the meantime- your shoes, bonnet, and book are missing..."
"I- I left 'em there when I ran...."
"I should say you did," Charlotte said indignantly, hands on her hips. "And you're going back there right now to get them."
"No Ma, not alone!" Colleen cried, terrified.
Charlotte gave in. "Alright, I'll go with you." She went inside the house, washed her hands, and untied her apron. Calling to the boys, "Matthew, watch Brian for me, I'm taking Colleen somewhere," she heard a " 'Kay Ma," as a response.
She hitched up the wagon and drove back to the Sully homestead.
In the far back of the Sully property was Camp Creek, gushing along merrily. "Now where's this arrow?" she demanded of Colleen. Colleen looked at the tree she'd been sitting under.
"It was here Ma, I swe- I mean I solemnly promise," she stuttered.
"Uh-huh," Charlotte didn't believe her for a moment. "And where are your things?"
Colleen looked around. "They're gone!"
"Colleen, this has gone far enough. Have you been lying to me this entire time? You, my child, just keep gittin' yourself deeper and deeper. Indians, arrows, your things missin', what am I gonna do with you?"
She took Colleen's arm roughly, and began walking back to the wagon. "Now you know I don't abide spankin', but I think your lyin' has gone far enough, young lady. Not to mention your disobeyin' my orders not to come here in the first place."
She heard a splashing noise behind her and then someone called her name out. "Charlotte?" She froze and slowly turned around.
There stood two Indians - no...one Indian and a white man in Indian clothing. Sully, that man...She would've known it was Sully anywhere, despite hair that came to his ears and a bit of a beard.
She let go of Colleen's hand. "Sully?!" She exclaimed in shock.
She slid to the ground.