There was darkness, only darkness around him…and then he saw a moon in the sky and running Cheyenne…and he was one of them, running from his death without any hope. He ran among them: men, women, children...
Children. There were two children with him, his daughter, Katie and the Indian baby he needed to save…he needed to save them both… But he didn't know where they were, and he forced himself to wake and open his eyes.
Sully woke in a unfamiliar room.. He looked around this unfamiliar room...it looked like his old homestead: the darkened walls, simple, hand-made furniture...The rifle above the fireplace and pack of cartridges on the chimney shelf. Then Sully noticed an Indian "dreamcatcher" hanging on the wall. Neither Katie nor the baby were beside him. Sully tried to rise, but the pain in his shoulder forced him to fall back on his pillow.
The door opened, and Katie ran in. Seeing that Sully opened his eyes, she rushed to him. "Pa! Praise the Lord, you’re gonna be fine!"
A few minutes later a tall red-haired woman came in.. "Do not tire your Pa, Katie," she told her tenderly. "He needs a good rest."
"I’m glad that you're awake," she told Sully. We have taken out the bullet, and now everything will be all right."
"You took out the bullet?" Sully was surprised. "Are you a doctor?"
She laughed.
"No, certainly not. My husband was a trapper for many years. I should know how to do such things. Mr. Sully, your daughter is very brave, she helped me. Usually girls are afraid of blood."
"My Ma is a doctor," Katie bragged. "Sometimes I help her in the clinic after school."
"You can be proud of your daughter, she probably saved your life. You looked very bad, had lost a lot of blood. But now everything will be alright."
"How long was I unconscious?" asked Sully.
"About a day …I’ll tell you right now, your baby is fine, I just fed him."
"Thank you," Sully said. "Thank for everything."
"Don’t worry about it," the woman smiled. "People need to help each other. I'm Jackie O'Donnell and Katie told me your name. It seems you’re like my husband. Are you a hunter too?"
"Pa doesn’t carry any weapons," Katie interfered, "but he has a tomahawk."
Jackie was very excited. "It's a miracle to meet a man, who concerned with the welfare of Indians. If my husband were here, you and he would become good friends. When he was young, he lived with Indians for five years. I think they are just as good as we are."
"They’re better," Katie exclaimed, "Cloud Dancing, Pa's best friend -"
Sully looked at her, and she stopped short. Certainly, he could trust this woman, but he did not want anyone to connect him with the outbreak in fort.
"Mrs. O'Donnell," he asked, partly to change the subject. "Can I somehow inform my wife that we're here? She will be worryin’."
"Call me Jackie, please. The post office is at the train station, it's far from here… Well, I shall persuade Lisa to go there. She is my older daughter. Lisa is pretty girl, but," she sighed, "she has a scar running down her face. There was a fire in the barn when she was a child."
"Ma could probably fix it," Katie said. "She's a very good doctor."
"Thank you, but we don’t have much money..."
"Ma will do it for free!"
"She is right," Sully confirmed. "Michaela will take nothing from you. If she can help your daughter, she'll do it. You just told us, ‘people need to help each other’."
Jackie's eyes filled with tears, and she hastily wiped them. "Excuse me, Mr. Sully."
"Just Sully, please."
"Sully, I think you must be hungry. I'll bring you some food."
She brought a tray with food and sat down on a chair near the bed. "You can trust me," she whispered. "This baby, he's not your own? He's an Indian, right?" Then she added, "That's not what Katie told me. Usually white mothers do not dress their babies in moccasins. It's a very noble deed, Sully. I respect you for it," she paused and then said, "My husband lived with the Lakota for a long time and had a family there," she paused again, "and they all were killed - all except Lisa. She was 3 or 4…and her scar - it's not from the fire in the barn. I remember, when Jack came into town carrying his crying child. He looked real crazy. He didn't want to talk with anyone, and spent all his time in the saloon drinking hard. He couldn't take care of his daughter in his condition…and I suggested him my help. I was a saloon girl. It's bad job, I know, but I couldn't find any other to feed my little brothers, when our parents died. I was the first Jack talked with. He was surprised that I'm his "namesake". Lisa loved me and called me 'Ma'. After a few months, Jack bought my contract, and we're married. It was 23 years ago, and all these years I’ve been so happy. He is a good husband and good father, as you are, I think. But it's still too hard for him to talk about his Indian family."
Jackie's words returned Sully to his awful memories: the people, running through the snowy field and falling under the gun fire. He closed his eyes and shook his head with a short moan.
Jackie looked at him with concern. "You need some rest. Just call me if you need something." She closed the door but then turned back and added, "Hold on, Sully. It's not easy, I know, but you must - for your children..."
Michaela was really worried. At first Sully's departure, then Katie. She was so scared when Brian informed her that Katie was not at school. Daniel was going to call the townspeople for searches, but fortunately, Horace brought the telegram … This naughty girl had stowed away on a train... Praise God she was now with Sully. But what was with that negotiation at the fort? It was time to come back… Had something suddenly happened again?
Today in the morning she had heard Matthew and Brian talking outside and caught words "the outbreak in Fort Robinson." The brothers kept silent at first, but then Michaela forced them to speak, and their news was really bad. Now she was sure that something wrong had happened to Sully again. Even Colleen, coming to visit her with her little Charlotte could not distract her from the sad thoughts.
"Ma," Colleen convinced her, "Sully would never do it again." But they both were not sure of it.
Someone knocked on the door.
"Doctor Mike, open up! It's Horace…"
All of Michaela’s self-control left. She opened the door and cried, "For Heaven's sake, don’t hide anything from me!!!… What happened with Sully?!"
Horace started to move back from the porch. "Everything's all right, they’ve sent you a telegram … Here: ‘Your husband and children are safe, but will be late by a few days. Don't worry …’ "
"I don't understand," Michaela was puzzled. "Who sent me this telegram? Why did they say ‘children’?"
Horace shrugged. "I have no idea, Dr. Mike …"
Michaela was still worrying, maybe more. Both of them were alive, but why hadn’t Sully sent the telegram himself? She needed to wait a "few days", but those days were going to be longer than years.
The next day Sully felt much stronger. His hand still poorly obeyed him, but he was ready to go home. This morning he had seen Lisa O'Donnell. At first Sully thought that she was a boy, because she was wearing buckskins, like his own, and a checkered shirt. Her rich, dark hair fell down her shoulders and half-covered her face. When she turned to the right, it was possible to notice the long, rough scar that ran from her cheek up to her neck.
"I sent a telegram to your wife," she informed him. "I see you're better … Are you going home?"
"Lisa, would you go with us?" Sully asked.
"Certainly. I'll go with you to the train station. You can't drive the wagon in your condition."
"Thanks," Sully said, "but that’s not what I meant. "Would you go with us to Colorado Springs? My wife is a very good doctor, she'll try to help you."
Her eyes lit up. "Do you think, it's possible to fix my face?!"
"Yeah, Michaela has already made similar operations. She had one patient who was scorched in train accident. She helped him, so you have hope."
Lisa silently nodded, then whispered, "I can't believe it …"
"I hope you will," Sully said firmly.
The next morning they set off home. Katie's dress was soiled and torn and Jackie couldn't repair it.
"Would you mind wearing my son's clothes?" she asked. "I think, they’re your size."
"Certainly!" Katie answered with delight. "I don’t understand why girls have to always wear dresses. They’re such a pain to ride in."
"You should have been a boy," Jackie smiled. "Our Lisa also doesn't like dresses. She is her father’s daughter."
"Me too!" Katie informed her with pride. "You all must come visit us soon. Ma will be very glad."
"She's right," Sully confirmed. "Thank you for everything, Jackie."
"Thank you too, Sully," she answered. "For Lisa, and for saving this baby. He will be a good son to you. Good luck!"
The wagon started moving, and for a few minutes they still saw Jackie, standing on the porch and waving them good-bye.
"You need to rest, Mr. Sully, " Lisa reminded. "We’d better stop."
"I'm not tired," he objected. "You don’t need to stop because of me. And, please, just call me Sully…"
"Well, it’s not only for you. We need to feed the baby too."
"Then I'll drive. You need to rest too."
"You can't. Don’t worry, I am not tired. I’ve gotten used to doing men's work. It was difficult to feel like a woman with my face, therefore father brought up me as a boy."
"Ma will help you," Katie promised. "She is the best doctor in the world."
The baby in the basket stirred and discontentedly cried. Lisa pulled him out from the basket, and he stopped crying.
"Look, he likes you!" Katie was delighted.
"I love babies," Lisa told them. "It’s a shame that I can’t have any of my own. But anyway, I shall be blessed with nieces and nephews when my little brothers marry."
"My brothers are already adults," Katie informed. "Matthew is a lawyer, and Brian is the owner of the town's newspaper. I also have a big sister Colleen. She's a doctor, like Ma. I’d like to have a little brother. Then I wouldn’t be the smallest in my family."
"Does your Ma know about this baby?" asked Lisa.
"Ma will not be against it. She adopted my brothers and sister. I am very glad that you will meet them all, you will like them, especially Matthew."
Lisa reddened. "I'll make some coffee. We’ll rest an hour and then move on." Lisa rose from the log and disappeared behind bushes.
Katie sat down and asked, "Pa, she's pretty, isn't she?"
Sully didn't answer. The same picture was in his mind: the people, running until exhaustion, shots, screaming and groans... They fell in the snow and remained there. Men, women, children...
"Daddy, do ya hear me?" the voice of his daughter returned.
"I’m sorry", he said. "I didn’t hear you."
The baby in his arms woke up and looked at him. Sully found his tiny fist inside the blankets, and the baby seized his finger with his little hand.
"Your Pa is here with you," whispered Sully in his tiny ear. He didn't know why he said it in Cheyenne, as if the baby could understand him.
"Pa, can I talk with you?" Katie asked again.
"Sure."
"I think Lisa is pretty, and loves children…and what if Matthew marries her? I'm sure he would like her."
"Katie, we can’t make that decision for him." Once, many years ago, little Brian had asked him, "Sully, will you marry Ma and become our Pa?" He had been very confused because of this question. Actually speaking, it had been all he wanted, but he couldn’t force himself to tell Michaela about his feelings.
"You know Matthew, he'll never make a decision!" Katie said stubbornly. "You couldn’t get the guts to ask Ma to marry you for three years. And what if you'd had never gotten married?"
Sully smiled a bit and answered. "It would have been awful."
"If you’ve rested, we can go on," Lisa said, standing near the wagon.
"I'm sure Matthew will fall in love in her," Katie whispered in Sully's ear. "You'll see."
It was the second day Michaela had gone to meet the train. There were no more messages from Sully, and the telegram disturbed her more and more. She was sure that Sully was in trouble again. Matthew was there too, looking at the passengers leaving a train. He saw a small boy jump down, then a teenager with a baby in her hands.
"Doctor Mike!" he shouted. "Look, Sully is -"
Michaela noticed Sully jumping out of the train. His right hand was in a sling.
"Ma!" the boy cried. Michaela at once understood that it was her daughter. She ran to them on the platform.
"Praise the Lord, you're back! Sully, what happened to your arm?"
"It’s nothing," he began, bu Katie interrupted him. "Don't worry, now he feels fine."
"Now?" asked Michaela suspiciously. "What do you mean by 'now'?"
Mrs. O'Donnell took out the bullet - and I helped - assisted her - "
"BULLET?!!" Michaela exclaimed.
Sully gave his daughter a look, but it was too late.
"What happened? Now tell me, you both!" Michaela insisted.
Katie sighed. "There was a shooting ...and Pa was shot… I didn't know what to do, but, fortunately I saw O'Donnell's homestead. Mrs. O'Donnell helped Pa and fed the baby."
"What baby?! For the Heaven's sake , explain this to me!!!"
"Here," Katie said and gave him to Michaela. The baby smiled, and Katie was delighted. "Look, he loves you!"
"Sully?" Michaela asked. "That's a Cheyenne baby!"
She stopped short when she saw the look on Sully’s face.
She understood that something had changed inside him…He was glad to come home to his family, but at the same time she knew that Sully had seen something awful, and that those memories pressed on him and she couldn’t ask him about it.
"Ma," Katie broke the silence. This is Lisa O'Donnell. You should help her."
"Nice to meet you, Lisa" Michaela said. "I'm Michaela Quinn, Sully's wife and the town's doctor."
She noticed the ugly scar on Lisa's face and added, "Lisa, I’ve carried out similar operations, and successfully … I can't promise anything for certain, and it is necessary to examine you in the clinic, but it seems your case is not a difficult one for surgery."
"So, I’ll become a girl like the others?" Lisa asked quietly.
"Certainly. You’ll become a pretty girl," Michaela smiled.
Matthew approached them. "Hi, Ms. O'Donnell."
"Just Lisa, please."
Michaela noticed that he looked at this girl with great interest. She hadn't seen that since Emma had left Colorado Springs.
"I’ll show you where our wagon is. We'll take you to town. And will you have dinner with us?"
Michaela was very surprised - and very glad for her son at the same time.
Katie looked at her father with exultant air.
"And now, Katherine Sully, we are going to have a very serious conversation with you," Michaela told her.
"I already have had one with Pa, on the train," Katie sighed. "I won’t run away anymore. But if I hadn’t what would have happened with Pa and the baby?"
"It’s the truth, she saved our lives," Sully confirmed. "We have a very brave daughter, Michaela. The Cheyenne would say, she has a brave's heart."
Michaela noticed the shadow which ran across his face at the mention of the Cheyenne, and her heart was filled with pity. But she didn't want to show it and so, she said aloud, "You're right. What can
you expect from a girl who was brought up by three men?"
The day was long and busy, but at night it all began again. Again the Cheyenne were running through the plains, again soldiers shot them all in cold blood. He couldn't help them. He himself felt like
running.
"Sully!!" Michaela sat up in bed, looking at him very concerned. "What happened? You were speaking in your sleep…no…screaming ‘stop it, there are women and children … ‘ And something else, I think, in Cheyenne… How do you feel? Let me check your shoulder…"
There’s nothing wrong with my shoulder," Sully answered. Do not worry about…"
He stood up and approached the crib.
"Can I help you?" Michaela offered, but he refused.
"I’ll take him downstairs. You must be tired from the clinic, and he won’t let you sleep."
Michaela tried to object, but Sully just took the baby and went downstairs with him.
When Michaela woke up in the morning, she found that Sully was not there. The baby's crib was empty. She quickly dressed and went downstairs, where Katie with a gloomy face packed her books for school.
"Katie, do you know where Sully is?"
"He fed the baby and left, said he’ll be back in the evening. He didn’t want to disturb you. Is everything all right with him?"
"I don't know. He's in bad spirits."
"I think it’s because of the Cheyenne..."
"Perhaps, yes," Michaela agreed with a sigh.
Several more days passed, but nothing changed. Every day Sully left early in the morning, trying to leave earlier than Michaela would wake up. The baby was always with him. Michaela tried to talk with Sully many times, but every time he answered, "Please, let's not speak about it."
All the townsfolk were very surprised to see Sully nursing the baby, and it became the subject of brisk discussion.
"I can’t understand," Loren said, as soon as Sully left his store with a new baby bottle. "He's goin’ with this baby everywhere."
"The baby looks like an Indian," Hank noticed. "Sully probably brought him from this fort. I think, he'll take trouble from the Indians till the end of his life. But it’s strange, why doesn’t Doctor Mike nurse the baby?"
"She probably has enough problems," Jake assumed. "Maybe they quarreled?"
"I think so," Loren agreed. "Sully doesn’t look himself…Here’s Brian, we can ask him..."
Brian came to the store and was surprised by such steadfast attention laid upon him all of a sudden.
"Hi," he said. "Mr. Bray, can I buy some paper for the GAZETTE?"
Brian was now the owner and publisher of the town newspaper instead of Dorothy. The name of the young publisher was already known even in Denver. A small book of his stories had been released there. Brian also had a wide number of acquaintances even in the central newspapers, thanks to Dorothy
Jennings. She had become a really famous writer; the whole country knew of her westerns. Brian was proud to know her and weekly sent his newspaper her to Yellowstone, so that she would know all the news from Colorado Springs. Dorothy lived in Yellowstone National Park, writing a book about it. A year ago Welland Smith had offered Cloud Dancing a job in National Park, and they both had accepted this offer.
"I have a lot of paper," Loren said, "but first you’d better explain to me, what happened with Sully?. Did he quarrel with your Ma?"
"No, he didn't. Sully just came from Fort Robinson. I read about a massacre in the Washington Post. Something awful happened there. Almost all the Cheyenne were killed… like at Washita, and Sully, probably, saw all this. I think it's very hard for him to go through it again."
"This is a disgrace," Loren suddenly interrupted him. "It is possible to understand when the soldiers kill their warriors - it is war. But if the adult men shoot the women and children, it isn’t right."
"I want to write an article for my newspaper," Brian told him. "Like Ms. Dorothy did. Let the whole city read it, and then we can write a letter to Congress from our whole town."
"I’ll sign it," Jake agreed.
"Me too," Hank said unexpectedly. All of them looked at him with surprise, and he added, "I don't like them, as you know, but killing children isn’t a man’s business."
I will definitely write that article," Brian promised, "If I manage to talk with Sully. Only he can tell us the truth."
But Sully refused to give an interview for the newspaper.
"Pa, it’s very important," Brian attempted to persuade him.
"For whom?"
"For all of us.. We then can publish it in the larger newspapers, even send the letter to Washington."
"Brian, I have written dozens of letters - to the President, to the Military Department, to the Bureau of Indian Affairs, to newspapers … and all my efforts were to no avail…Nobody is interested."
"But when Ms. Dorothy wrote about Washita, a lot of townspeople changed their minds."
"But it didn’t return the Cheyenne, and in Washington it’s not of interest to them what a small town is thinking about …"
"You want to give up?" Brian asked. "That doesn’t seem like you …"
"It's already too late," Sully answered.
All of a sudden the baby began to cry, and Sully left to feed him.
Brian was very upset. He sat at the table, looking over his papers.
"Pa doesn’t want you to write it?" Katie asked.
"I think so," Brian sighed. "I can write it anyway, but I won’t, if he doesn't want me to."
"He’s spending all his time with the baby," Katie said discontentedly. "Sometimes I hate it."
"Don't talk like that!" Brian was indignant. "You were there yourself and you know how hard it was on him. We need to be patient …"
"And then everything will be all right with Pa?"
Brian nodded. He had an idea, a very good idea, in his opinion...
"Let's go fishing!" Katie asked him. "Pa is too busy with the baby, and Matthew went to visit Lisa in the clinic."
Brian picked up his papers and stood up. "Let's go! But we need to go to the station before. I need to send a telegram."
It was evening. Sully sat by the fireplace, deep in his sad thoughts, with the baby on his knees. Suddenly he saw something through the flame - somebody's familiar face…
"Black Kettle…" he whispered, not expecting an answer. It was only a dream, he thought. But the answer came.
It's me, Ho'neosovaestse…I know you are in mourning for my people."
It wasn’t just a dream, but some kind of vision - too real and clear.
"I'm sorry…" Sully said. "I'm so sorry…There are no more Tse-tse-staetse - almost all were killed…and the others are prisoners in their reservation…I can't imagine your people dead…"
"Alive," Black Kettle objected. "Free and alive…"
"FREE AND ALIVE?! Where?"
"There…in your hands," Black Kettle explained. "You must 'turn back' again, Ho'neosovaestse, and remember all the wisdom of our people. .and share it with your son…"
"I'll do it," Sully promised.
"I know you will," the Chief's face disappeared through the tongues of flame…
Sully opened his eyes. He suddenly felt that the darkness in his soul had been stepped back a little."
The baby stirred on his knees. "Hey, little one!" Sully called. "We're going to meet your-"he stopped, "Michaela... in town."
He felt the sadness again. He wasn't sure that Michaela was ready to become a mother for this baby.
At the same time Michaela sat at the table in the clinic, but her mind was far away from the daily paper work she was doing. She was trying to understand what was wrong with Sully - it was as if a wall had grown between him and everyone else … He wouldn’t even let her near the child, explaining it by
saying that she got tired in clinic. She understood that this child was the only tie
connecting him with the Cheyenne. Those people were family to him, he would never give the baby to anyone else.
She didn’t dare dream of a second child, for that would make her cry at night, by the thought that she couldn’t have a baby anymore. She was so puzzled … But how could she explain it to Sully, in his condition?
On the one hand, she, as a doctor, understood, that it was symptoms of depression, and if not paid attention to it, it would end in madness or suicide …as had happened with Sully's mother… But she also understood, that, it wasn’t exactly a medical problem. She had felt similar pain after Washita … But Sully and the children had helped her, and Cloud Dancing… Cloud Dancing!… Certainly! Tomorrow in the morning she would send him a telegram and ask him to come. She was sure that his presence would help Sully heal his soul.
Somebody knocked at the door. Michaela opened it, surprised to see Sully with the baby in his hands.
"We’re goin’ home. Have you finished?"
"Yes, certainly, it's already late, certainly, it is time to go home!"
"Are ya tired?"
"No. Sully, I want to talk with you …"
"Let's talk later," he told her helplessly.
"...About the baby" Michaela finished. "The truth is, I have a lot of work here, but this boy needs a mother. I was so depressed when I found out I couldn’t have any more children …but now I have one more chance to raise this baby instead…Sully, it was 6 years ago, but I still remember everything. And you do too. I need it, Sully. My silly words there at the station, means nothing. I was just so puzzled. Let me hold him please …" She took the baby and put him on her lap.
"Look, he has long eyelashes…like mine, and his smile looks like yours…Sully, you're a good father, the best I've ever seen , but he needs a Ma also. Does he have a name?"
"No…not yet. The Cheyenne named him Lives Free …"
"A good name. But we can't call him ‘Lives Free Sully,’ or ‘Lives Free Quinn’…We need to choose another one, and then ask the Reverend…"
Sully kissed her cheek tenderly and whispered in her ear, "Thank you …"
"You’ve told me many times: what happens to you, happens to me … I can't imagine what would have happened to me after Washita without your help. You always supported me in my difficult times… Please, allow me now to make it better for you …"
He was silent for a long time and then answered, "I’ll tell you… A little later.. this evening."
Approaching the homestead, they saw: all the carpets hung outside and Brian was beating them out diligently. Katie swept the porch with the same diligence.
"What happened?" Michaela was surprised.
"Just cleaning!" Katie answered joyfully.
"In honor of what?"
"Tomorrow some guests are coming!"
"Your grandma??"
Brian shook his head. "Nope. Try again."
"Robert E. and Grace? Colleen and Andrew?"
"Cloud Dancing and Ms. Dorothy!" Katie declared.
"Katie!!!" Brian scolded her.
"But they were just here for Christmas!"
"I sent a telegram to Cloud Dancing," Brian said. "I thought Pa needed to see him…"
"That's what I needed most of all," said Sully. "Thank you."
"You’re welcome," Brian answered proudly.
"I can't believe it!" Michaela exclaimed. "I was going to send the same telegram tomorrow morning, but you have beat me to the punch!"
"Supper is ready," Katie said aloud.
They went into the homestead. "You prepared all this?" asked Michaela. "Brian, you continue
to amaze me!"
"He didn’t do it," Katie answered for him. "That was Lisa. She and Matthew visited us.I told Pa before - they're going to marry. When Lisa has recovered from the surgery they plan to visit Mrs. Jackie together…to talk with her."
"KATIE!" Brian yelled. "You can’t keep any secrets!"
"Don’t fight!" Michaela said. She approached the table. Brian followed her, but Sully held him back by the elbow.
"Brian?"
"What, Pa?"
"I was just thinkin’, that you were right."
"About what?"
"About your article... It’s too early to give up. Perhaps we should talk about it..."