Author’s Notes:
* This is the wedding story. It is the next in my series, following Stand By Me.
* These characters are not mine. They belong to Constant-C, Warner Brothers, etc. I do this only for fun and gain no money from it.
* The producers of the show used a quote from the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet for the title of Julianna Margulies’s last episode… I am going to continue that theme here, as I felt it quite appropriate! (It’s Act II, Scene II, if any of you are interested).
* The song featured, of course, is Romeo And Juliet by Dire Straits. It’s taken from their Making Movies album.
* Many thanks, as always, to my editors, Cari, Emily, Amanda and ‘special guest’ Jordan.
* And thank you to my readers. I’m always encouraged by your comments, and I hope this will be enjoyed by all of you.
* For Leslie.
Love's Light Wings
By Jo
dynamojo26@hotmail.com
‘My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite’
- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet -
Cindy stirred slowly, rolling over in her cot and turning into the room. In the corner, seated in the high-backed armchair beside the window, was Carol, staring through the glass at the pink and purple dawn, eyes unfocused, face expressionless. "Carol?" she whispered.
She turned her head and looked over. "Yeah?"
"What’re you doing?" She glanced at her wrist watch. "It’s 5AM…"
"I was thinking how things change," she said in a soft voice. "How when spring comes, everything seems so new and fresh… like the world’s just beginning all over again." Cindy studied her for a moment, wondering what had brought on such sudden philosophising. Glancing over, Carol saw the perplexed look upon her face and smiled ruefully, adding, "And I can’t sleep…"
"Have you been to sleep?"
Carol smiled briefly, then returned to her gaze out of the window. "Yeah… I’ve been awake a while though." Outside, in the still morning air, the birds were beginning to sing in the trees and on the power lines. "I woke up just after three… I’ve been watching out the window since then…"
"Nervous?" Cindy projected with a sympathetic smile, propping her head up on her hand and giving her sleeping bag a tug to readjust it. Carol nodded.
"I’ve got this ball of something in my stomach and it won’t go away…" She paused and looked back. "But that’s normal, right?"
"Carol… I was sick four times before my wedding. My mother couldn’t get me away from the toilet bowl to do my make-up…"
"Oh," She tried to smile. "I suppose that’s comforting…" Cindy said nothing, watching as Carol went back to her window vigil, the distant look in her eyes betraying that she was hardly watching the scenes outside. "You know… I’ve done this before…"
"You have?" Cindy sounded surprised, but then, Carol thought, that was hardly unexpected.
"I almost married someone else… Tag… well, his real name was John, but everyone called him Tag…"
"Oh, I get it…" Cindy chuckled, low in her throat. "Sounds like my ex-husband. His real name was Nigel Austin, but everyone called him Pig… I never worked out why… Well, actually, that’s a lie, I did work it out in the end…" Carol smiled.
"Do you still think about him?"
"What? Nigel?" Cindy thought for a moment, threading her fingers together contemplatively. "I think about how hard I’d have to hit him for his brain to come out of his nose…" Carol looked sharply to her, surprised by her unusual outspokenness. "No, maybe that was how I felt in the beginning, but now… the anger’s long gone…" she continued with a sigh. "The truth is, I think about whether my kids are missing out… I mean, he was so often cold and aloof, detached from his feelings, but as a father, I could never fault him. He couldn’t sing, hated to sing, but every night, he’d take Hannah upstairs to the nursery and I’d hear him singing her to sleep…" She glanced up and shrugged. "But that’s all history," she concluded smartly. "No point thinking about that today… What happened with Tag, then?"
Carol blew air out through her teeth and shook her head, thinking how very near she had come to entering a marriage she didn’t want. "I was marrying him because I thought it was the right thing to do. Not because I loved him." She chuckled wryly. "And I was on the rebound."
"From Doug?"
"Yeah. I didn’t know it at the time, but I think back and I think that’s what it was. I was trying to make myself be happy, and it just wasn’t working..." She sighed. "People would ask me if I loved Tag, and I’d tell them yes, but when I said it, when I talked about him, I didn’t feel anything inside."
"That’s not good…"
"No… was it like that with you and Nigel?" Carol asked, searching for a kind of affirmation, that her intuitions had been right and she’d saved herself from certain heartbreak. Cindy shook her head assuredly.
"No, I don’t think you can predict if a marriage is going to fail… I was in love with Nigel. There was no doubt about that." She slowly sat up, pulling her knees up in front of her and running her hand through her unruly hair. "I mean, he was the first guy who could make my heart skip a beat when he walked into the room… When I met him, he was this charming English gentleman. He’d come over here because his father had taken a job with the World Bank, and he was… so different, you know…" She paused. "He held doors open for girls… he was all polite and he had this deep, precise, kind of sexy voice… When he spoke to you, he made you feel like you were the only person in the room, he had that sort of intensity." She sighed, looking down to the sleeping bag, distractedly tracing the line of stitching along the zipper. "But then I found out what was underneath and it wasn’t so gracious and composed."
Carol was silent, taking all of this in. It was a frightening thought to think how easy it was the mistake someone’s character, to be blinded by your own feelings. "Cin… do you think I’m doing the right thing?"
"You’re having second thoughts?" Cindy said, amazement in her voice. Carol said nothing for a long moment, taking a deep, contemplative breath.
"I don’t want to make a mistake… If something goes wrong…" she murmured finally. Climbing out of her cot, Cindy came around to crouch in front of her feet.
"Carol… stop thinking like that. Everyone gets cold feet before their wedding day… If I know you and Doug, and I think I do… you’re doing more than the right thing. I don’t know anyone else as much in love with each other as you two are." Carol looked at her, then away, out of the window again.
"It’s a beautiful day…" she whispered.
"For a beautiful wedding," added Cindy. Carol smiled and tucked her hair behind her ears.
"I’m so stupid," she muttered crossly, partly to herself. "I say I’ve got doubts, but I don’t…" The sun was sliding in across the room, its weak early morning rays warming her skin. "With him, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been…" Cindy stayed quiet, listening to her. "Every time I think about him, my stomach turns in a somersault and my breath catches in my throat. I look at him and I know there’s something about him that’s different from all the others. I can’t stand to be without him. I hate it when he leaves for work in the morning… I can’t imagine any other man being as important to me as he is." She sighed heavily, as if she’d just released every feeling she’d ever connected with him in one pouring outburst and it had left her spent. Cindy smiled at her solemn expression.
"Carol… you have nothing to worry about," she said softly. She stood up and offered her hand out. "Come on… let’s go get some coffee and get this beautiful day started…"
****
"So, Carol still okay then?" Mark threw the basketball to Doug and he caught it, spinning on his heel and sending it through the hoop with a flick of his arm. He darted to collect the bouncing ball, dribbling it alongside him and came up in front of Mark, switching it from his left to his right hand and back again.
"Yeah, I think so… She’s at her Mom’s with her sisters… she was smiling when I left, but who knows now..."
Mark raised his eyebrow doubtfully. "Nothing gonna go wrong this time, then?"
"Here’s hoping…" He passed the ball to Mark, who caught it expertly and brought it into his chest. "You know, three years ago, I was out on my own, playing the field… now I’m a father and I’m about to be a husband… what do you call that?"
"A revelation…" Mark teased. Doug shot him a half smile. "Scary, isn’t it?"
"About the scariest thing I’ve ever done, yeah…"
****
A love-struck Romeo
Sings a streetsuss serenade
Laying everybody low
With a love song that he made
Finds a convenient street light
Steps out of the shade
Says something like
You and me babe, how about it?
****
"Mom… it’s okay… stop fussing…"
"Carol, you need to try the dress on again. What if you’ve put on some weight…" Carol threw a barbed look in her mother’s direction.
"Put on some weight?" she repeated, incredulous.
"Well… we have been eating out a lot this week. All those big meals and drinks… You might have put some weight on."
Carol shook her head. In the kitchen, she heard one of the girls begin to bash a spoon on the table. "Oh, thanks for your vote of confidence, Ma," she huffed, heading off to rescue the table. "Kate, Kate, Kate," she groaned, whisking her lively daughter up. "Don’t do that, sweetheart…" She prised the spoon out of Kate’s chubby hand and laid it back on the table. Kate was dribbling, and she used the sleeve of her shirt to clean her up. "I thought we had a talk about this last night?" she said to her youngest, who was staring at her with big brown eyes. "You were going to be a good girl like your sister for Mommy today?" Kate gurgled out a string of unconnected sounds and simply grinned. The day had barely even begun and already Carol had the feeling her nervous system was wired up for a disaster.
It was nine thirty and they’d just returned from the salon, where hair and make-up had been done and nails manicured. Carol’s curls were piled up loosely on top of her head, secured with tiny pearly pins, thin tendrils pulled out and hanging down across her eyes and ears. Helen, slowly adjusting herself into her favourite armchair, rested the cane that was helping her to walk across her lap, and piped up again,
"Are you going to try on your dress again…?"
"Oh, Ma, yes… if it’ll make you happy…" she sighed. The ivory-coloured dress was hung on the door, looking flat and unimpressive, still covered in the transparent polythene it had been in when they’d picked it up from the shop yesterday. She put Kate down on the rug with Tess and Cindy and went to it, lifting it up and starting up the stairs. "I’ll be upstairs…"
The front door opened and Gina struggled in, a large box of champagne balanced in her arms. "Wow, that’s heavy," she groaned as she deposited it on the dining table and arched her back. "How are things going?"
"She’s gone upstairs to try on the dress again," Helen told her eldest daughter. Turning, Gina took a deep breath and asked,
"Cindy… have we got everything?"
Cindy glanced up from the rug, a Chucky Rugrat ragdoll in her hands and nodded, "Mm, I think so…"She started to count off on her fingers. "We picked up the dresses, the lingerie and the shoes yesterday. I called the travel agents last night and the honeymoon tickets and the hotel are still reserved… Caterers are setting up at the hotel already… Photographers will arrive at three, after the ceremony… I can’t think if there’s anything else to do…"
"What about the flowers?"
"Annie’s organising those…"
"And she’s out of bed yet?!" Gina teased with a sly grin. Cindy chuckled politely at the family joke.
"She was up at seven, specially."
"The reception?"
"Javier stopped off at the hotel and everything’s in order. Annie was supposed to get back before ten… I don’t know where she is though…" Gina turned around, quickly noticing that there was something they’d forgotten.
"What about the car?" Cindy bit her lip.
"Oh, damnit…" The air of foreboding in her voice betrayed her inner nerves. "We never called the driver to change the time!"
"Carol!" Gina called anxiously up the stairs. "What time was the driver coming?"
Appearing at the top of the stairs in her dress, Carol slowly negotiated the stairs, holding her dress up in front so she didn’t trip on the skirts. "Noon… Will you all stop panicking… there’s plenty of time…" she sighed as she walked into the living room.
"You hypocrite!" Gina declared with a strangled moan. "That’s not what you were saying last night!" Carol ignored her sister, instead turning around,
"Fasten this up for me, will you?" Gina grabbed the zipper at the back of the dress and gave the boned bodice a sharp tug. "Oww…" Carol objected mildly.
"Oh, shut up… it won’t fasten otherwise…" She ran the zipper closed, and then adjusted the sleeves, buttoning the line of four mother-of-pearl buttons at each cuff. "There… let’s have a look then…"
Carol took a few steps back, smoothing the taffeta skirt. "Perfect…" Cindy announced. "Doug’s not gonna know what’s hit him…" Carol smiled, the mention of his name bringing a flutter in her stomach. "You still nervous?"
"Yeah…" she admitted. "Not like earlier, though." She turned to her sister and mother and explained quickly, "I was up at three o’ clock."
"We know," Gina moaned mock-seriously. "It was like Grand Central Station in the corridors… up and down the stairs, up and down the stairs…" Carol rolled her eyes at her sister, who gave her a strange smile. "You know, Carol, I never thought I’d see this day…"
"Oh, thanks, Gina… But here I am, I’m doing it… I’m getting married." She looked down, saying the words as if she had to remind even herself that it was happening.
"Well, I never thought I’d even see her," Cindy chimed in, lightening the mood in her customary manner, and Carol immediately looked over. "Sometimes I wondered if she even existed."
"Doug talked about her a lot, then?" Gina asked.
"She was the main topic of conversation most days, yeah…" Cindy chuckled. "And on that note, I should go over and see how he’s doing…" She stood up and grabbed her car keys from the coffee table.
"Do you have to leave…?" Cindy looked around.
"You’ll be okay, Carol. You’ve got most things done here, and nobody’s checked on him yet. For all we know, he could be passed out and then you might not have a groom…" she teased.
"Mark’s there with him."
"I know," Cindy asserted. "But in my experience, you should never leave it up to another guy to ensure the groom gets to the church on time. If you do that, they usually arrive smelling of Scotch with something like ‘Better Dead Than Wed’ stencilled on some inappropriate part of themselves." Carol laughed uneasily,
"I guess I better let you go then…"
Cindy grinned, winking as she opened the front door. "But, for the record, I’ll make sure I get him to the church on time…"
****
Juliet says
Hey, it’s Romeo
You nearly gave me a heart attack
He’s underneath the window
She’s singing hey la my boyfriend’s back
You shouldn’t come around here
Singing up at people like that
Anyway, what you gonna do about it?
****
"Would you like a drink, Doug? Coffee? Tea?" Elizabeth called up the stairs.
"Coffee’d be great, thanks. Black, no sugar…" he shouted back from the bathroom. He stared at his reflection, the lower part of his face covered in shaving foam and his hair still wet. It didn’t yet feel like the biggest day of his life. It had started just the same as every other day… basketball, shower, shave and breakfast. Downstairs, Mark was cooking bacon and eggs and though the smell was drifting up the stairs, Doug’s stomach was still too unsettled to want anything to eat. Leaning closer into the mirror, he drew his razor along his cheek. He wondered what Carol was doing. Even though they’d agreed that it was bad luck to see each other before the wedding, she’d called him in a whirl of frustration, nerves and bottled tension last night.
"Doug, I can’t handle this… I’m so tired, but my mind is on autopilot, the girls won’t settle, and on top of that, my mother is sending me to bed at ten o’clock. To get my beauty sleep. I’m never going to be able to sleep at ten o’clock," she’d hissed into the phone.
"You will… you’ll surprise yourself…" he’d comforted. They’d spoken for a while longer, but then reluctantly hung up. He wondered if she’d ever actually gotten to sleep, or whether, like he, she’d been awake most of the night, mind racing about what they were about to do.
Not long after they’d begun dating again, Doug had started to think of marriage, keen to show her how committed he was, how much he really loved her. Seeing Carol all in white, walking down the aisle toward him, had been a fantasy he’d enjoyed on frequent occasions. That it was happening, truly happening, today, was almost unreal. He finished up with the razor, splashed his face clean with water and then started to brush his teeth.
Just as he was rinsing his mouth out, the doorbell rang, and Elizabeth called out that she’d get it. He dried his face roughly with a towel, and then headed out of the bathroom. Peering down the stairs, he tried to see who had dropped in, but the layout of the house was such that the kitchen and entrance hall were out of sight. Giving up, he headed back along the corridor to the spare bedroom, where his suit was waiting, freshly dry-cleaned, with the brand new dress shirt, silk steel-grey tie and matching handkerchief he’d bought earlier in the week. "So, how’s the husband-to-be, then?" It was Cindy’s voice, floating up the stairs, and he backtracked down the corridor to catch sight of her, but she was already being ushered into the living room by Elizabeth.
In the bedroom, he took his time dressing, using Carol’s favourite aftershave. When he turned to look in the mirror, he stopped. It was a scene he had imagined many times over, but this time it was for real. He almost felt like pinching himself, as if somehow he might still be dreaming it all. He tied his tie carefully and tucked the handkerchief neatly into his breast pocket.
"Douglas!" A familiar voice came from behind him and he turned around to see Cindy standing grinning in the doorway. "Look at you, Mr. Suave and Sophisticated! I don’t know whether I should hug you, I might wrinkle you…!"
He chuckled. "What’re you doing over here?" he asked as she walked in and pushed the door closed behind her.
"Came over to see if you were alive and well…" she explained. She took up a seat on the edge of the still unmade bed. "And everything was getting a bit too stressed over there for my liking."
"Is Carol okay?"
"Absolutely. If you ask me, she’s the only sane one there." Cindy tittered to herself. "She’s still got her head screwed on… the rest of them are running around in a flap."
"What’s wrong?"
"Oh, something to do with the car… I think Carol was supposed to change the pick-up time for an hour later, and she forgot. But, don’t worry," She reached out and lightly patted his arm. "Everything’ll be fine."
"And the girls?"
"Kate was causing a bit of trouble earlier, but Tess is fine…"
He let out a tense sigh, sitting down on the bed next to her. "Crazy, isn’t it?" he said after a moment’s silence.
"Aren’t all weddings?"
"I dunno," he shrugged. "Haven’t been to many… and I never had to organise one." She nudged him gently and teased,
"The fun hasn’t even begun, yet,"
"You’ve still got the rings, haven’t you?"
"Back pocket…"
Doug nodded. "What about you? You ready?" Cindy made a noise in her throat as if she hardly cared and waved the comment away with a nonchalant hand.
"I hate weddings," she growled. "I’ll avoid getting ready until the last possible moment."
"Bad memories?"
"I don’t know which is worse, getting married yourself, or watching your friends get married. All it does is remind me of the ticking time clock," she scoffed. "And besides, Carol has forbidden me alcohol of any kind… the only way I managed to get through my own wedding was to down three shots of vodka in the church vestibule beforehand." She looked down at her feet. "My God… I need a drink…" Chuckling at her, Doug gave her hand a quick squeeze.
"You’ll be fine," he assured her, rubbing his face and eyes.
"Maybe… But, more to the point… how are you? You look a bit tired?"
"I was awake most of the night…"
"Sounds familiar…" she smiled. "So was Carol…" Doug looked up immediately at the mention of her name. "But, unlike you, she doesn’t seem the worse for wear."
"Oh, thanks…" He paused. "Is she nervous?"
"Yeah… you know how it is… ‘a lifetime’s a long time, and Hell, I’m gonna have to spend it all with that guy…’" Doug stared at her, uncertain if she were joking or not. "I’m joking…" she asserted. "No, she’s just got the pre-wedding jitters. But I told her everything was gonna be okay."
"And she believed you?" Doug said, a little incredulously.
Cindy pulled a face. "I think so…" She stood up. "So, are you ready to roll?" He looked around the room.
"Yeah… I’m ready."
"Have you got your speech written?"
"Speech?" Doug questioned. "I have to give a speech?"
"Er, yeah…" Cindy stared at him, her eyes wide. "Please tell me you’re joking…" He shook his head slowly, a look of horror settling on his face. Cindy sighed,
"Oh, God…"
****
Juliet
The dice were loaded from the start
And I bet
And you exploded into my heart
And I forget, I forget
The movie song
When you gonna realise
It was just that the time was wrong
Juliet…
****
"It’s bullshit…" he sighed as he handed the third draft over to Cindy. It was ten to eleven and they were seated around the kitchen table at Mark and Elizabeth’s, half way through their second coffee of the morning, trying to put down a few words on paper for Doug’s speech. "Why does the groom have to give a speech?" he moaned, rubbing his face furiously.
"Tradition," Cindy explained rationally. "Now, come on, you’ve gotta have some moment you can draw on. I mean, it’s not like the two of you have had an uneventful courtship…"
"This sucks," he grumbled.
"Carol will love it, think of it that way…" He sighed. She started to read what he’d written down. "This is okay, Doug… this is good…" He looked at her critically, asking for some honesty. "Well, it’s not Tennyson… or Yeats… but it’s got some redeeming qualities…" He dropped his head, defeated.
In the hall, the telephone rang. "What am I gonna do?" he said, starring off down the garden. Mark, half dressed with his shirt still open and his tie hanging loose around his neck, popped his head around the door and said,
"Cindy… it’s for you… Carol…" Doug looked up.
"Okay…" She stood and walked back through the door after Mark. "Is there a problem?"
"Dunno… wouldn’t say…" Mark replied.
She picked up the receiver, "Hi…"
"I can’t do this…" Carol exclaimed tearfully. "My family is driving me crazy."
"What’s the problem?"
"Everything." Cindy sighed.
"Okay… I’m coming back… hold on…"
She left Doug on the deck, writing his speech and immediately drove back to the Hathaway residence. As she approached the door, she could hear Carol shouting beyond it, yelling for someone to find her the hairspray. "Hi, everyone…" she greeted. Carol immediately turned towards her and her face softened.
"Man, am I glad to see you…" Quickly, she hustled her up the stairs and into the first bedroom, which had temporarily been turned into a dressing room. All three primrose yellow bridesmaid’s dresses hung from the curtain rail, and Carol’s dress lay across the bed, the high-heeled silk shoes lying on their sides by the door. "Ohhh…" she groaned as she sat down on the only clear spot left on the bed and began to fidget. "They’re all rushing around and now I’ve got to get dressed and… I just really needed to see someone who wasn’t going to be crazy to help me do it."
Cindy smiled. "I’ll help you." Carol’s face broke into relieved happiness.
"Thank you…"
"C’mon, then. Let’s get you into this thing…"
****
Carol gave a tentative twirl, the skirts of her dress rippling out around her feet, lifting up slightly and giving a brief glance of her high-heeled shoes. "You look gorgeous," Cindy grinned. "I, on the other hand, look like a lemon meringue…" She looked down at her own, princess satin, a-line, skirted dress and gave a derogatory snort.
"You don’t,"
They both looked at each other, then started to laugh. "God, this is so ridiculous…" Cindy giggled. "It’s like being eight all over again, dressing up like princesses…" Carol sobered quickly.
"Only this time it’s real,"
"You’re not marrying a prince, Carol… I hate to break it to you. Doug may be dashing, but a prince he is not."
"You know what I mean." Cindy nodded.
"Yeah, I know…"
They stared. "I read something once," Cindy began, reaching out and taking Carol’s hands in her own. "It said that you shouldn’t marry someone you thought you could live with, but someone you thought you couldn’t live without…"
"Cin, you read far too many magazines…"
"I know," she brushed the comment off lightly. "Comes with being divorced and spending too many nights on my own." She looked up at Carol, whose face had fallen a little. "But, you’ve got the right man, Carol. You’ve got nothing but everything to look forward to." Carol smiled nervously.
"Yeah?"
"Sure. Now come here and give me a hug. If you won’t let me have a drink, I need one…" Carol giggled and the two embraced.
****
Come up on different streets
They both were streets of shame
Both dirty, both mean
Yes and the dream was just the same
And I dreamed your dream for you
And now your dream is real
How can you look at me
As if I was just another one of your deals?
****
Carol was at the back of the church, hidden from view, clutching her bouquet of yellow roses, cream lilies and blush-pink carnations with fidgeting hands. It was warmer here than outside, and she was glad the priest had allowed her to wait in the refectory instead of out in the freezing cold. The biting wind whistled through the gap in the oak door and she shivered. She’d borrowed her mother’s cream lace gloves as part of the ‘Something old, something new…’ tradition, but they offered no extra warmth at all. Beyond the door, she could hear the assembled congregation talking and she strained to make out a familiar voice. Suddenly, the door opened and Cindy, Gina and Annie rushed inside, big, excited smiles on their faces. "Everything’s fantastic!" Annie announced with a joyous wave of her hands. "Everyone’s here! The flowers look great! It’s perfect, Curly!"
Carol looked at her sister doubtfully. Cindy chuckled at her expression. "You’ll be fine… stop worrying…"
"I’m not worrying," she said indignantly. "I’m just nervous, that’s all… Where are the girls?"
"They’re with Mom," Annie told her. "And they’re being very well behaved, so you don’t have to worry about them either…" Carol nodded thankfully.
"At least that’s something," she said.
"Where’s Uncle Mikhail?" Gina suddenly asked. "He’s supposed to be presenting you."
"I’ll go get him," Annie sighed dramatically. "He’ll be swapping war stories with Uncle Richard…"
There was a short flurry of activity as Annie caught up the hem of her bridesmaids dress and bustled out of the refectory, yelling as she went. Carol looked down at her feet, then paced quickly over to the lead-glass window. Her face had turned an odd shade of grey and her eyes were glassed over. "I think I’m gonna be sick," she gasped out. Cindy glanced up in alarm.
"Sick?"
"Open the door…" There was a moment of indecision, and then Cindy grabbed her arm and yanked her out of the door, wheeling her around just as she retched the acidic contents of an empty stomach up into the gutter. A couple more retches later, she stood up straight, holding her abdomen and moaned, starring flatly off into space. "Oh, man…" she spat. "I don’t know what came over me."
"It’s okay," Cindy comforted, taking her hand and leading her back inside. "Just sit down…"
They hurriedly found a glass and Carol took a few, ginger sips, swilling the water around her mouth. "Okay, now?" Cindy looked her over. The colour was coming back to her cheeks, and she was looking slightly less condemned. The door to the refectory swung open and Annie bustled back in,
"I can’t find him. He’s vanished." She shrugged. Gina snorted,
"He’s probably unconscious with a bottle of vodka under a table somewhere…"
"Excuse me… Hello?" Carol stood stock still, something about the accent and the self-assured boldness filling her with unexplained dread. From around the half ajar door came Will Kelly’s head, and then slowly, his whole body, dressed stylishly and debonairly in a pinstripe grey suit and a blue shirt. "Carol!" he exclaimed, a broad grin dashed across his face. "You look… well, I’m speechless, darlin’, you look that delicious…" Carol stared amazedly at him, then at Cindy, who was standing with her head down in an attempt to hide her smile, and then back at Will.
"What’re you doing here?" she addressed him, a little more curtly than she would have liked.
"Well…" He gave her an odd look. "I was talking to Cindy the other day, and she happened to mention you folks were tying the knot, and I thought…" All of a sudden, he became unsure, and glanced up at Carol’s impassive face, then down at his shiny, black brogues. "I can go…" He threw a hesitant hand back outside. "If you don’t want me?" Carol stared for a moment longer.
"No, no, stay…" She smiled. "It’s just a surprise, that’s all…"
Will’s face brightened. "I brought you a present… and something for the twins…" He glanced meaningfully at Cindy. "I wouldn’t want to appear out of the blue without a valid reason…" Carol, following his eyes, turned to Cindy.
"Something you want to tell me, Cin?"
She shook her head guiltily. "No, no… Great to see you, Will…" He bobbed his head, grinning as if in possession of a secret he was particularly relishing, then disappeared out of the door. "I’m so sorry, Carol… I didn’t think he’d come…"
"You didn’t think he’d come?"
"I said you were getting married, and he was really interested, and I didn’t know what to do, so I said you wouldn’t mind if he flew over…" She was starting to gabble. "I didn’t think he’d actually take me up on the offer."
Carol stared at her a moment. She knew Cindy had given Will Kelly her phone number when they’d left London, but had no idea that they’d stayed in contact. "That’s fine…" Cindy had opened her mouth to continue her defence, and was shocked to hear approval.
"That’s fine?" she repeated, mildly incredulous.
"Yeah, he’s a friend… I know we said only close friends and family, but he was good to me in London… so he’s welcome, even if he is a bit of a… er, an eccentric…" Cindy grinned, relief washing over her face.
"And he looked very sexy in that suit…" she murmured.
"Oh, very…" Carol teased her.
****
They found Uncle Mikhail asleep in the church hall, and dragged him, hiccupping and drunk, back to the refectory. "I don’t think he can stand up straight, let alone walk," Annie grumbled, pushing him roughly onto a pew. "Who can we get instead?"
Carol thought for a moment. "Er… Mark?"
"He’s Doug’s best man. He’s down at the altar already."
"Carter?"
"Also down at the front…" Annie looked hopelessly at her. "There is no-one else, Carol… you’ll have to walk on your own."
Trying not to connect too much with her words, Carol thought how much easier it would have been with her father still alive. "Oh, man…" she moaned. "Get someone… just find someone. Anyone." Annie stared at her.
"Anyone?"
"Yes, anyone… In fact, no, get Will Kelly…"
****
The ceremony passed without further event. As the music started up, an expectant hush came over the church and everyone turned as one to look for the bride. Carol appeared gracefully at the entrance, glowing, an irrepressible smile on her face, and started down the aisle. Holding her arm, with a slightly nervous expression, was Will Kelly, a wedding party rose pushed hurriedly through his buttonhole.
Doug turned, and felt his stomach lurch at the sight of her. A small, confused smile crossed his face as he acknowledged the surprise figure at her side, but his eyes immediately fell back to Carol. She was beautiful, dressed all in ivory silk, her veil partially hiding her face but unable to screen her smile, walking so elegantly and agonisingly slowly toward him. It was the longest minute of his life.
She floated to his side, and he thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest, such was the force with which it was beating. She smiled at him, shining and elated, and he smiled back. He couldn’t have said anything, even if he had wanted to.
In the front row, seated between Annie and Gina, Cindy watched them exchange their vows. She listened to them speak, ‘love, honour and cherish’, ‘till death do us part’ and smiled to herself, trying to immerse herself in their joy and not dwell on her own shortcomings. They were ridiculous promises to make, she thought; how many people could actually keep those promises for forty, fifty, maybe even sixty years? Nigel had broken his vows first, and she had a certain smugness in knowing that she had been the wronged party, but that didn’t make today any easier, seeing two of her greatest friends pledge their lifetimes together, knowing that they were going to keep those promises for forever and succeed where she had failed. She watched them for a moment, absorbed in each other’s gazes. There was one consoling thing, Cindy thought. Despite the long talk in the sleepless night and the last minute nerves, Carol looked very sure. "I do," she uttered, her voice clear and firm. There was a hushed pause that filled the church.
"I now pronounce you… man and wife… You may kiss the bride…" The priest finished, and Doug lifted the veil and, quite passionately, kissed his new wife. Cindy smiled at his vague indiscretion. Taking her eyes briefly away from the little love scene, her gaze fell onto Will, who was staring absently into space. As if sensing her eyes upon him, he turned his head slightly and smiled at her, nodding an unspoken acknowledgement.
****
And you can fall for chains of silver
You can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers
And the promises they hold
You promised me everything
You promised me thick and thin
Now you just say
Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him
****
They stuck around for a few photographs, all huddled together in the cold, trying their best to smile for the cameras, before they escaped to the Rolls Royce, confetti showering over them in waterfalls of sticky, coloured paper. Once inside, they waved enthusiastically to the assembled crowd and then ordered the driver to go. "That was…" Doug turned to her, smiling widely. "You look… Carol, you’re just beautiful…"
She looked up at him, "So, I’m worth the wait, am I?" He reached for her, pulling her into his side, where she rested her head on his shoulder, their hands intertwined.
"You were worth the wait…" he asserted definitely. "And now, I just want to hold you and never let you go."
"All those people…" she voiced her internal monologue. "I don’t know whether I can keep going. I feel so drained…" Looking up at him, she smiled. "Like that feeling you get after an exam, only multiplied." He rubbed her arm.
"We’ll get some champagne flowing. That’ll help…"
They pulled up outside the hotel and he helped her out of the car, holding her skirt for her so she didn’t trip. "They’ll be here in a minute… Do you want to get freshened up?" She nodded,
"That’d be nice…" Looking up at him with a twinkle in her eye, she thought they could steal a few moments alone before the rest of the party descended. "I wanna get this confetti out of my hair. Will you help me?"
He grinned, "What? In the ladies’ room?"
"Yeah… there’s no-one else around…" she chuckled. "C’mon…" Taking his hand, she dragged him inside, and as the door shut, turned around, pushed him up against the sinks and started kissing him hard. He pulled away, chuckling,
"This isn’t gonna get the confetti out of your hair, Carol…"
"I know…" She laughed, then reached up and grasped his face again. "I’ve been wanting to do this since I laid eyes on you in the church." Giggling, she tugged his tie. "Looking all sexy in this lovely tux…" She smoothed her hands down his chest, over the buttons of his shirt. "All these little pearly buttons here…"
"Carol…" he warned, a laugh in his voice. "I am not consummating our marriage in the ladies’ washrooms." She chuckled at his rare seriousness.
"You never cared about that sort of thing before…" she grinned. "I seem to remember my kitchen floor wasn’t a problem for you."
"Ah, well, I’ve turned over a new leaf," Carol laughed aloud.
"A new leaf, huh?" He nodded.
"Yup… and…" He stared at her for a moment. "I’m resisting…" She chuckled,
"Then just kiss me…"
And he did. Reaching up with his hands, he clasped her face and gently kissed her, moving his lips slowly. Carol moaned into his mouth, her hands on his waist reaching under his belt and burrowing inside, finding warm skin beneath the material. "Mmm…" she murmured, tugging the shirt out of his pants and sending her hands inside, dartingly. Doug, blissfully aware of the passage of her fingertips, let out a soft chuckle.
"My, you are insistent…" As response, she pressed her body up against his and kissed him still more fervently.
Suddenly, there was a noise and the door to the washroom opened and Gina, Annie and Cindy stumbled laughingly inside. Carol and Doug both spun, dropping their hands and looking up. "Oh… sorry…" Annie giggled. "We’re obviously interrupting something in here…" Behind her, Cindy struggled in vain to keep a straight face,
"I’m sure they have some more washrooms… let’s…" She looked conspiratorially to Gina and Annie. "Let’s leave them at it, shall we?"
"At it, indeed!" Gina crowed as they rushed out of the door. Carol turned to Doug and threw her head back.
"Oh, man… I am never going to live this down…" she groaned. Doug put his hands on her waist, chuckling, and murmured,
"Probably not, no…" They stared at each other for a moment. "Maybe we should go out…" he said reluctantly, rocking her gently. She sighed dutifully,
"I guess we should…"
****
Juliet, when we made love you used to cry
I said I love you like the stars above
I love you till I die
There’s a place for us
What a movie song!
When you gonna realise
It was just that the time was wrong, Juliet…
****
Once they’d straightened themselves out, Carol and Doug walked out of the washrooms. Everyone appeared to have moved into the ballroom, and in the midst of the loud conversation and the band’s music, they were able to slip in unnoticed. Near the doorway, Annie, Gina and Cindy were introducing Will to the family, Annie grasping his arm firmly. He was nodding appropriately and smiling, extending his hand and making polite small talk. Carol nudged Doug, "Look, there’s Uncle Mikhail…"
"So it is…" Doug grinned. "Do you think it was your mother who put him in the corner?" Carol chuckled.
"Yeah… I’m surprised he’s not wearing a dunce’s hat."
"Should we go talk to him?" Carol glanced up at him, then looked critically at Uncle Mikhail.
"I doubt he could stand up on his own, let alone string a coherent sentence together." She sighed. "He does this at all family occasions."
"Sensible man…" Doug murmured, to which he received a questioning glare from Carol.
"What?" He shrugged his shoulders then grinned,
"Your family’s like the Russian Brady Bunch, Carol…" She stared at him for a long moment, then slowly smiled and returned her gaze to the room. People were starting to arrange themselves at the round tables at the other end of the room, noisily and with much confusion. Over the shouts in Russian and raucous laughing, Helen Hathaway could be heard giving out orders to her immediate family,
"Sit there, Valirey, or you will get the in way of the waiters when they come."
"I guess that’s about right." Carol agreed, staring at her mother.
****
Dinner passed without further event, although Uncle Mikhail did get hiccups half way through the dessert course and had to be manhandled out of the room by Gina. Doug chuckled under his breath as the little man was bundled roughly out through the door, Gina impatiently at his side clucking at him that he was a disappointment, in spite of his overenthusiastic praising of the food. "It is very, very, very good," he could be heard saying in his thick Russian accent as the door banged shut behind them.
"You do know you’ll be seeing a lot more of my family," Carol warned him as the waiters arrived to take away their dessert plates and clear the table in preparation for speeches.
"I know," Doug chuckled. "I’m looking forward to it." He turned around and called down the table, "Hey, Mark, you ready with your speech, buddy?"
Mark gave him a wicked smile and called back, "Sure am!"
"Have you seen what he’s written?" Carol whispered. Doug shook his head,
"No… that’s why I can’t wait…" She looked at him curiously. "And what about yours…?"
"It’s done,"
"Can I see it?" Doug smiled and bobbed his eyebrows.
"No,"
"Why not?"
"Because…" Sensing she was losing, Carol leaned into him and kissed him gently on the lips,
"Please?"
He shook his head, resisting even as she rubbed his thigh under the table. Kissing her back, he added, "You have to wait like everyone else…" She stared at him, then gave up with a grunt and turned back, watching as the last of the cutlery was cleared and the candelabras were relit. "I think it’s time," he said, and slowly got to his feet. He cleared his throat, clinked the knife he had saved against his wine glass and began, "Ladies and Gentlemen, there are some speeches, I think," he smiled, catching Cindy’s eye across the room. "Helen… may I invite you to begin first?"
Clearly pleased by her new son-in-law’s politeness, Helen smiled widely, and with Javier’s help, slowly stood and reached into her purse. There was a long, anticipatory pause as she fumbled with a piece of folded paper, and then coughed delicately. "Today, my little girl was married," she began, and Carol, surprised by the warmth in her voice, couldn’t help smiling and looking down with unexplained embarrassment. "I used to think she would be the one I could live with in my old age, and I always thought I would see my other girls," she glanced at Gina and Annie, sitting with Kate and Tess on their knees, "married first. But no…" There was a small, hesitant pause and then she added with a smile, "I wish your father could have been here to see you. He would have been so very proud." Carol looked down with a self-conscious smile on her lips. "And Doug… I am glad it is you she has chosen." Doug blinked. "You bring out the best in my little girl and I know you will make her very happy. I have faith that one day, you will be standing in my place, speaking of one of your little girls as she marries a husband you have complete faith in. I wish you both luck and… congratulations, Carol…" Helen smiled broadly at her daughter. "Congratulations."
There was a pause, and then the room broke into applause. Carol stared at her mother as she sat back down, amazed and touched by the words she had spoken. "Thank you," she mouthed as they crossed gazes. Helen gave a small nod, then directed her eyes towards Mark, who was rising at the other end of the table. Slowly, the applause died down, and Mark cleared his throat. "Doug and Carol have been my friends for a long, long time," he started, smiling across at them. "I’ve seen them together, and apart, and somewhere between those two states…" Doug looked down self-consciously. "I’ve seen them at work, I’ve seen them at home… I’ve seen them happy, and I’ve seen them sad. But, even in the days when they were apart, they were always happiest in each other’s presence. But it gives me immeasurable satisfaction to see them here today, together and happy once again." He glanced across and grinned. "You’ve come a long way." He raised his glass. "Here’s to the rest of the journey."
Chuckling, Doug stood amid the applause and waited for it to die down. "Thanks, buddy," he acknowledged Mark, then sought out Cindy again. She had moved her seat so she could watch him, Gina and Annie on her right with the girls, and Will Kelly on her left. He cleared his throat nervously, and took out a crumpled piece of paper from his breast pocket. He stared at a minute, then turned to Carol, an uncommon sparkle in his eye. "As you know," he started. "I’m not always very good with words… not at all, really… but this is an occasion where words can’t fail me." He gazed at her face for a moment, his voice caught in his throat, then he lowered his head and looked down at his piece of paper, staring at it for a long moment. The room waited while he composed himself. "We had a lot of doubters," he said quietly, glancing up at Carol. "And a lot of people who didn’t believe… but even when they didn’t, I knew…" He smiled. "I knew we’d make it. We mighta taken our time, but we got there in the end, and I, well, I know it’s not very articulate, or profound… or anything like that… but, ah, I’m just gonna say it in the only way I can…" Reaching out, he took her hand in his own and gave it a little squeeze. "Carol," he said. "I love you."
Carol, touched to the core, blinked back the tears that had gathered up behind her eyes. She beamed up at him and stood up, taking him in her arms and putting her face in his neck as the room rippled with approval. Over on the other side of the room, the band started up, and after a moment, he gently pulled her away from him, "Recognise this song?" he said in a soft voice. She frowned,
"No…"
"This song was playing the night I left for Seattle. We were outside and it was playing on the stereo…" She tilted her head and listened.
"Smokey Robinson?"
"Yeah," he murmured. "Will you dance with me?" She grinned,
"I’d love to…"
****
I can’t do the talk
Like the talk on the TV
And I can’t do a love song
Like the way it’s meant to be
I can’t do everything
But I’d do anything for you
Can’t do anything except be in love with you
And all I do is miss you
And the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat
And bad company
And all I do is kiss you
Through the bars of a rhyme
Juliet, I’ll do the stars with you
Anytime
****
The lights had gone down low and there was a quiet hush as everyone watched as Doug and Carol danced alone on the floor, barely moving, locked in each other’s embrace, Carol’s head on Doug’s shoulder, eyes closed, peaceful, his hand resting idly on the skirt of her dress. He whispered something and she laughed without opening her eyes. Sitting alone on the edge of the dancefloor, an empty wine glass in her hand, Cindy gazed on with distant eyes. "Stop it, sweetheart," she murmured vaguely as Robbie tried messily to get her attention with fingers sticky with chocolate ice cream.
"But, Mom…?" he begged. She looked down at his freckled face,
"Go find your sister, Robbie…" she said distractedly. Robbie studied her for a moment, then turned and wandered back across the empty dancefloor wiping his chocolate fingers on his page boy’s outfit.
"Can I have a seat?" Cindy looked up sharply. Will was standing above her, holding out a glass of champagne, a small smile on his lips. She nodded,
"If you want to…" He sat, adjusting his pants and then leaning back a little, running a hand through his hair.
"Something wrong?" he asked. His voice was soft and Cindy glanced back at him, frowning.
"What do you care?" He bobbed his eyebrows.
"Ah, well, I hate weddings too. Whoever invented the idea should be hung at dawn, I think." Cindy looked at him oddly. He cleared his throat. "No-one with any sense gets married these days."
"You’re going to win lots of ladies’ hearts with that attitude," she scoffed. "Every girl dreams of getting married someday."
"Every girl, certainly… But not every man…" He paused a moment, loosening his tie. Cindy tried not to look at the flash of toned chest as he unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt. "I’m not about to put everything on the line and sign my life away like that. It’s too risky."
"Risky?"
"Yeah. How many marriages end in divorce these days? One in three, is it?" Cindy slumped in her seat.
"Well, mine did…" Will glanced at her. "There you go… I’m just a statistic…"
There was a long silence, as if Will were thinking of something to say and Cindy went back to staring miserably at Carol and Doug still swaying together. Finally, he turned to her, picked up her hand and stood up. "We’re all just statistics, darlin’," he grinned. "Want to dance?"
For a minute, she stared at his face, trying to understand what, if anything, was going on underneath the friendly exterior, then slowly took his hand and stood up. "Okay…" He smiled and led her out onto the dancefloor and with a flamboyant twirl, spun her into his arms.
"You’re a good dancer," he said as they settled into a rhythm. She looked up at him curiously, enjoying the feel of his hands at her waist.
"Just one thing, Will… I mean, it’s great that you did, but why did you come all the way over here?" He met her gaze.
"Isn’t it all rather obvious?" he said.
For the first time in a long while, she blushed and dropped her head in embarrassment. Laughing, Will lowered his head too and kissed her. "Mom, Mom… Mom… whatcha doing?" Two pairs of hot little hands pressed onto her leg. Cindy looked down with a smile and saw her children staring up at her and Will.
"They yours?" Will teased, giving Robbie a playful glare which he matched with a giggle. She looked at their little faces then up at Will and then back down at the kids.
"Never seen them before in my life," she deadpanned. Hannah stared from one to the other, perplexed, then squealed as Will let out a mock roar and swept her up in his arms and tipped her upside down. Watching as her daughter let out a wild yell and wriggled in Will’s grasp, Cindy laughed for the first time that day.
****
After the first dance, Carol went up to the suite to change out of her wedding gown and into something a little less formal. Glad of the time to herself, she unhurriedly slipped the backless dress she’d bought with this day in mind on and stood in front of the mirror, smoothing out the fabric and adjusting the little diamante straps that criss-crossed her back. Doug would like it, she thought as she pushed her feet into her kitten heels and stood straight. He’d always liked her in black dresses.
For a moment, she sat down on the edge of the four-poster bed and twirled the new addition on her ring finger around. She’d imagined this moment for weeks, in fact, since they’d made their first tentative arrangements in the wake of her mother’s accident, but had never quite captured its essence. It was a strange feeling, like an insurmountable joy mixed with tempering responsibility for the institution she had pledged herself to, fantasy merged with reality. But she found that she was not fearful, and she realised she wanted to embrace it from the bottom of her heart. She wanted to have him on his own: to flush away the family and friends and just be alone. She wanted to hold him and be with him. She wanted to be his wife. Through the floors, she could hear the band still playing, a low thud of bass, and knew it was time to go back down.
A quick spray of Allure and a retouch of the lipstick and she left the room, heading back down the stairs. He was in the hallway when she saw him, and her heart gave a little hiccup at the sight of his handsome figure, talking to her cousin Natalya and Aunt Valeriy. Natalya, holding a champagne glass and looking embarrassed, was smiling and searching the room for a distraction. Valeriy, meanwhile, was chatting animatedly about the state of the country. Carol walked over and graciously bounced into the conversation, rescuing him from a certain political flogging. "Valeriy, how are you?" Doug cast her an appreciative sideways glance and she smiled back, pleased that he liked her dress. "Have you seen Uncle Richard? He was talking to Mikhail earlier…" Valeriy’s face took on a look of tempted archness and Natalya cringed into her champagne.
"Ooh, really?! Come on, Nattie… nice to meet you, Doug…"
When they had left, he turned to her and grinned, "She’s a bit feisty…" he noted with a chuckle. Carol rolled her eyes.
"Inciting, maybe, feisty… no…" She smiled. "Nattie reminds me of how I was at seventeen… desperately embarrassed."
"You look nice," he said after a moment. "Turn around and let me look closer…" Carol grinned and gave a little twirl. "My, my…" he growled approvingly, then leaned in to whisper into her ear, "Now I want to take it off…"
With a loud sound of delight, a plump, middle-aged woman with a wild perm rushed up to them and hugged Carol effusively in a cloud of Givenchy III. "Carol, Carol… so good to see you!" she cried. Doug’s eyes widened slightly. "And you… you are Doug, yes?" Doug gave an almost imperceptible flick of his head that only Carol noticed and then murmured,
"That’s me…"
"Doug, this is Lena… she’s my Mom’s cousin…" Carol explained in a beatifically calm voice, as if at any moment Lena would transform into a fire-breathing monster.
"Hey, Lena, are you well?" Doug responded politely.
"I am very well, thank you, Doug," she said, pausing a moment to fuss with her fuchsia pleated silk skirt and matching jacket. "What a marvellous day!"
"It is…" He quickly glanced across to Carol, who was looking steadily uneasier with herself, as if the whole exchange was akin to sticking pins into her feet.
"No unlucky rain…" Lena tittered to herself. "Yes, lovely, just lovely… well, Carol, you look superb… that dress is beautiful." Carol gazed down at herself. "It is so hard these days to find a nice wedding outfit…"
Doug smiled to himself, looking down. "Yes, it is very hard…" Glancing at him, Carol caught his mood with relief and shot him an amused grin. "Getting harder and harder, in fact… Don’t you agree, sweetheart?" Carol forcibly straightened her face and replied,
"Yes, it is… the problem is, I’m always just really wet about it…" Lena cast Carol a confused look, then added,
"Shopping is terrible with the crowds… it isn’t so fun these days…"
"Mm," Doug’s eyes were sparkling with wickedness. "But you should just thrust straight in there and get on with it." Carol tilted her head at him.
"But there are such a lot of people around…"
"Yeah… but if you go in and out a lot…" They caught each other’s gaze. "It can be even harder…"
"If only there were no people around," Carol finished. Lena looked them both strangely in the eye, as if she were trying to figure out whether they were drunk or simply mad, then announced gaily,
"Well! You can’t have too many clothes!" She grinned inanely at Doug and then departed in a whoosh of fuchsia silk.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Carol burst into laughter. "You are so evil, Doug Ross!" she teased him. "That was terrible, she had no idea!"
"I know…" he said, leaning closer to her. "So, shall we…" He looked at her piercingly and added, "Escape upstairs…"
"Upstairs?" she questioned him in a low voice.
"Yeah… go to the room…" He gave her a lingering kiss. "Get out of this mad-house…"
"We shouldn’t," she said, but he was kissing her neck now, and she felt her resolve weakening.
"No, you’re right," he murmured into her skin. "We shouldn’t…" He took her hand and headed toward the stairs. "But, we could, if… if you want to…?"
"If I want to…" she smiled at him evilly. "I don’t think there’s any question."
****
Just as they were heading up the stairs, hand in hand, Annie’s voice called out from the corridor. "Carol! You gotta come and throw the bouquet!"
"Oh, man…" Carol murmured under her breath. "I forgot about all that…"
"Nevermind, kiddo… I can wait… and besides," he murmured thickly. "I get to take your garter off, don’t I?" She cast him a tolerant smile, silently thinking how no matter what happened, he always managed to get his way with her, even if it wasn’t quite how they’d planned. He took her hand and took a step down. "C’mon…"
The ballroom was filled with people, some dancing, some drinking, some sitting around the tables talking. Annie hurried them over to the middle of the dancefloor and yelled out, "Girls, gather round!" A rush of high heels clattered on the floor as every female in the room assembled in front of Carol.
"Don’t I have to turn around?" Carol asked, unsure. "And shut my eyes?"
"If you want… I didn’t…" Carol turned at the sound of Cindy’s voice from behind her.
"Hey… aren’t you gonna take your chance with everyone else?" she asked. Cindy shook her head.
"Nah… tempting fate isn’t my thing," she chuckled wryly. "I think I’ll sit this one out."
"Oh, okay…" Carol tried to hide her disappointment. She’d been hoping that catching the bouquet would have cheered her up, and had been made surreptitious plans to throw it in Cindy’s direction before the ceremony.
"Turn around, then…" she prompted. Carol did as she was told, held her breath, and then threw the bouquet over her head and back into the crowd. There was a scuffling of feet and from the crowd, Natalya emerged holding the bouquet aloft. A cheer went around the watching audience, then, from out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of Will talking to the leader of the band. There was a pause as everyone talked about Natalya and the bouquet, and then the band started up with Tom Jones’s ‘You Can Leave Your Hat On’. From the sidelines, Doug grinned and picked up a chair, heading out into the dancefloor to where Carol was standing.
"Leg up, then, kiddo…" he grinned, placing the chair down in front of her. The bachelors in the crowd moved to circle around them, clapping in time to the song’s beat. Carol threw her head back and laughed at his brazen comment.
"Good job I didn’t take it off when I took the dress off then…" she teased, her eyes twinkling, and lifted her dress, revealing the ivory lace garter. Doug’s eyebrows bobbed and he murmured,
"My… how beautiful is this…" Carol giggled, and he got down on his knees and placed his hands on either side of her calf. Glancing up at her, he saw she was laughing, and grinned back. Slowly, he worked his way up her leg, to her knee, and then started to slide the garter from her leg. He looked up and held her gaze, his eyes sparkling wickedly as his fingers played on her skin, slip-sliding down to her ankle, where he eased it over her shoe. A roar went up from the assembled bachelors, and he stood up again. "Ready?" Pointing the garter upwards, he pinged it towards the ceiling and watched as it soared through the air.
There was a collective intake of breath as the garter disappeared into the crowd, everyone scattering backwards to see where it had landed. "It’s the British guy!" yelled someone, and Doug turned around to see Will standing with the garter just at his feet, staring at it bemusedly.
"You’re meant to catch it, Will!" he exclaimed. Will looked up and shrugged,
"Oh, well… Like the England cricket team, I missed it…" He bent and picked it up. "What’s it mean if you miss it, then?"
"Ah, I dunno…"
"Oh, right… I see… well, never was that keen on marriage. Haven’t met the right lady yet." he said, and tucked the garter into his breast pocket.
"Will, if you got something to tell me, I’d really rather you told it to my face, you know." Cindy spat from behind them, and immediately stormed out of the door. Doug watched her go as Will made a face.
"Got yourself into a sticky one, there…" He added. Will frowned.
"We were just talking," he explained, walking with Doug off to the bar. "But, what is it with women… all it’s about is commitment, commitment, commitment…" He gave a heavy sigh. "I don’t even know what I’m doing next week, let alone the rest of my life."
Glancing back, Doug asked, "It’s not going well in London?" Will groaned,
"Frankly, it sucks, as you guys say…" Doug threw him a questioning look. "Well, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful here, but the job at Great Ormond Street isn’t all I’d hoped it would be. I mean, I love the prestige and the reputation and so on, but everything is so bloody bureaucratic. Sign this, please… audit this, please… use all your off duty time fucking around with ‘Golden Goals’ and BMA protocol. Whatever happened to good old patient care?"
"It was hounded out by all the clinical malpractice lawsuits…"
Will grunted, "Makes you want to give it all up doesn’t it?" The barman pushed two bottles of Stella towards them and Doug handed one to Will,
"That’s why I got out and into management. I was sick of following all the rules and policies…"
"If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, yeah?" Will said.
"Something like that." He dug in his pocket for some cash, but Will stepped in.
"Hey, no, they’re on me, mate…" he said, and handed over a note to the barman.
"Thanks,"
"Hey…" Mark said, appearing behind them. "Got one of those for me?"
"Will got them," Doug explained.
"Oh, okay…"
"No, that’s fine. Can I have another?" he asked the barman. "And you are?"
"Mark Greene," Mark held out his hand. "I used to work with Doug. In Chicago."
Will nodded, smiling gamely. "Was he as much of a slave driver as he was with us?" Mark chuckled, thinking privately how far Doug must have come for a stranger to assume he had always been someone of authority.
"He wasn’t my boss… I was his boss…"
"Thanks, buddy, for that," Doug jokingly scowled, then filled Mark in, keeping the details discreet. "This is Will Kelly. He’s a paediatrician in London… I was his boss for a while…" He grinned. "Remember all those doubts you had, Mark?"
Mark grinned back. "What can I say, Doug, you always manage to shock the Hell out of me." Doug looked down, mildly embarrassed, and chuckled in his customary manner. "Where’s Carol?"
"She’s out on the patio trying to get Kate to sleep…" Doug filled in, pointing through the French windows to where Carol’s back could be seen silhouetted against the darkness of the grounds. "And I think she’s talking with Cindy." Will’s eye’s glanced out of the door, betraying his reaction to Doug’s words. "What’s going on with you and Cindy, then?" he continued, looking at Will, who lowered his head again, feigning a sudden interest in his shoes.
"Er, I’m not sure… Things are a little up in the air at the moment." He cleared his throat. "Truth is, I’ve been thinking about trying things outside of Britain for a while, and well, maybe Seattle is a good place to start…"
Doug raised his eyebrows. "You’re really thinking about moving here?"
"I suppose I am… And I mean, it’s not as if I have any ties back home. I don’t have anyone else to consider but myself."
"You’re not married, then?" Mark interrupted. Will smiled and shook his head,
"No, no," he said. "Haven’t found the right lady yet."
"And you’ve been dating Doug’s friend?"
"No, not dating as such, just… well, I met her in London and we got on very well." He sighed, trying to explain himself, aware that he was not doing a very good job. "She makes me laugh, and I think she’s just about the only woman who’s never demanded anything of me…"
Doug had turned to look back out of the French windows, and could see Carol now in deep conversation with Cindy, her head tilting slightly. Although he couldn’t see her face, he could tell from the back of her head that she was concerned. He wondered if he should go out and find out what was happening, but immediately dispelled the feeling. He should give them longer to talk. "So, how much do you pull in per annum over here?" Will was asking, and Doug turned back to their conversation.
"Ah, depends what position you hold…"
****
The air in the garden was still and scented. Even though it was still cold, daffodils and hyacinths had sprouted from the beds and were sending their rich, spicy fragrances through the night air. Carol sat on the wall of one of the raised beds, underneath a gas heater, staring out onto the grounds with distant eyes. Kate was settling slowly in her arms, sucking her thumb as she curled into her blanket against her mother’s chest. Beside them, Cindy was tearful and reflective, her eyes glassy with years of pent up emotion. "I had no idea you and Will were… you know…"
"We weren’t… It just happened today." Cindy smiled, glancing sideways at her friend.
"And it’s what you want?" Carol asked, immediately thinking of the difficulties of holding together a long distance relationship. "He does live a long way away."
"I know, I know… it’s just… I don’t know," she shrugged. "Why does this always happen to me?" she threw her head back and asked the night sky, keeping her voice low for Kate’s sake. "I finally find a guy who likes me and is prepared to have to deal with all the baggage I carry around with me, and he only lives on the other side of the world!" She shook her head in despair. "I think I’m cursed, Carol…" Carol chuckled, but Cindy’s face grew suddenly sober. "No, I’m serious… I really think I am. I can’t have a relationship with anyone that’s not dysfunctional in some way… All I want is just to be happy, like you and Doug, but this…" she scoffed. "This is so ironic it hurts."
"Oh, Cin…" Carol looked at her, seeing real pain in her soft green eyes. "I don’t know what to say… Have you talked to him about it?"
Cindy shook her head. "No… how do you bring something like that up without sounding like a complete desperate fool?" She sighed hopelessly. "And he’d run a mile if I told him what I really feel."
Carol stayed quiet for a moment, seeing her disappointment and unhappiness. "You know, maybe you should just tell him the truth…" she whispered. Cindy looked up. "Tell him what you feel."
"Oh, don’t be crazy, Carol…" she laughed bitterly. "Shall I tell you what I feel, huh…?" she sighed. "I’m tired of being on my own, of having to deal with everything on my own. I used to live for my own independence, but now I’d give anything to have someone there when I get home from work. Someone to share the burden of the kids… someone to make me laugh…" Looking down at her feet, Cindy shook her head. "I’m scared of doing nothing and then regretting it, and I’m terrified of gambling it all and it falling down at my feet." She ran a hand through her hair. "I feel ugly, and old, and tired and totally unsexy… Now, tell me seriously that that’s attractive and I’ll eat my own head."
Carol gave her a sympathetic smile. "When you put it that way, sure, it sounds bad… but that’s just how you see it. Maybe he sees it differently." Cindy tilted her head almost imperceptibly.
"Maybe… but it’s putting a hell of lot on the line…"
Not knowing what to say, Carol was silent, trying desperately to think of something intuitive to make her feel better. "I put a hell of a lot on the line when I came to Seattle," she said softly. "I hate to do anything until I’m one hundred percent sure, but I spent weeks and weeks thinking about it and could never be anything more than fifty percent sure. But, you’ve just got to take the risk… otherwise you’ll be forever thinking ‘what if?’…" Cindy cast her an interested glance, then looked away.
"50/50 is pretty lousy odds…"
From behind them, there was a small noise and they turned to see Doug coming through the patio doors with a couple of glasses of champagne in his hands. "Hey…" he greeted. "You looked like you needed these…"
Cindy smiled wryly. "Too right…"
"You okay?" he asked her. Raising her eyebrow, she murmured,
"I’ve been better…"
"Will’s just told her he likes her…" Carol filled in.
"Ah…"
"Yeah… that would be about right."
"Where is he?" Doug asked, feigning ignorance, turning around to glance into the hotel. Cindy shrugged,
"He was inside the last I saw him…" She took a sip of her champagne. "Have you talked to him, Doug?" A small smile crossed his face, which he bit back, and then turned the question around,
"Have you talked to him?"
She shook her head. "I’m thinking I’d send him packing back to England if I did that…" she sighed. Doug flicked his head.
"I wouldn’t be so sure…" he said in a low voice. Cindy’s head snapped up at his words.
"What?"
"I think you should go and find him…" he said simply. He held out his hand and pulled her to standing. "He was asking me what the pay is like over here…" Cindy stared at him for a moment, trying to assess if she had heard and interpreted his coded message correctly. He bobbed his eyebrows in the direction of the doors. "Maybe you should go tell him the answer." She stared for a moment longer. "Go on…" he grinned. "Get out of here…"
A wide grin spread on her face. "Oh, you beautiful boy!" she exclaimed. "I love you!" She stood on tip-toes, smacked a kiss on his cheek and then bolted for the hotel. He turned and joined Carol on the wall, smiling, rubbing his thighs.
"Well, that made someone happy…" he chuckled. "How you doin’?"
"Tired…" she moaned, smiling readily back at him. "We’re both tired…" She adjusted Kate in her arms and smoothed the downy hair on her little head with her thumb. Doug smiled at his daughter. "She was getting groggy with Ma," Carol explained, "so I took her away… I thought she might go to sleep out here where it’s quieter…" Doug nodded.
"Looks like it’s worked…"
"Yeah…" Carol smiled. "I think it’s all been a bit too much for her…"
"Long day, huh?"
"Yup…" She reached out and took his hand. "Good day, though…"
"Yeah… good day…" he agreed.
They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, just holding hands, looking out onto the grounds, seeing the mist forming around the rhododendrons. "Carol… Doug…?" Helen’s voice rang out in the clear, crisp air and Carol turned to see her mother, Javier holding a sleeping Tess in her arms. "We’re going to go home, now. My granddaughter is sleepy…" she smiled. Carol stood up and went to them, leaning down and kissing each of Tess’ hot little cheeks.
"Sleep tight, baby…" she smiled, then straightened up and gently handed Kate to her mother. "Thanks for taking them, Ma…"
"Oh, I like to have them," Helen said proudly and reached out to wrap Carol in an embrace. "Have a good night," she whispered discreetly and Carol chuckled.
"Thanks, Ma… for everything…"
Helen gave only a smile as reply, then turned and headed out towards the parking lot. Carol waved them off, then felt two hands slip themselves around her waist, "Mrs. Ross," he murmured hotly into her hair. "Will you come upstairs now?" She turned quickly and hugged him.
"I thought you were never gonna ask…"
****
"Don’t I have to carry you over the threshold?" Doug asked, chuckling, as they stood outside the hotel suite, fiddling with the awkward plastic key card. He leaned forward and nuzzled at her neck as she swiped the card through the slot, waiting while the light turned green.
"That’s at our first house…" she told him, enjoying his warm mouth on her neck. She tilted her head back and kissed him, opening the door and leading him gently inside by his tie. "Now… you sit there…" she said, pushing him towards the bed. He laughed,
"And I thought you were insistent earlier…"
Reaching behind her to unzip her dress, she cast him a wicked glance. "You ain’t seen nothing yet, baby…" He chuckled.
"I’m counting on that one,"
Suddenly, as if remembering something, she stopped in mid-zip and headed for the small overnight case they’d brought up earlier. "Close your eyes, Doug. You can’t see this yet." Gamely, he shut his eyes, and waited. "I’m just going to freshen up…" she said. "Don’t do anything."
He heard the door of the bathroom click shut, and felt it safe to open his eyes again. Her dress was lying on the floor in a pool of black satin, and her heels were kicked under the dressing table. He stood up and slipped his dinner jacket off, dropping it onto the back of a chair, then looked around. The suite was all white sheets and dark wood, with a thick carpet and soft lighting. But it was the four-poster bed that dominated the room. He looked to it, shedding his shoes and untying his tie, thinking what it symbolised, and smiling to himself.
Behind him, the bathroom door clicked open and he turned towards it. Slowly, it opened and his smile grew wider. Carol was standing, leaning against the doorframe, wearing a scalloped lace basque, low-cut briefs and suspenders. She started to walk towards him, and he stepped back a little, taking her in still further. "Is this all for me…?" he asked quietly as she approached him and pushed him back to sit on the end of the bed. She caught his eyes meaningfully,
"I’d do anything for you…" He smiled and she kissed his forehead. "Remember those words?"
"I do…" His eyes were heavy now, taking her in with a sort of wonder. He reached out slowly, and touched her delicately, as if he expected her to melt away at his touch. Her skin was milky soft, shimmering with a sheen of fine glittered powder.
"That was the night I realised I was in love with you," she said, resisting only mildly as he tugged her towards him, placing her legs on either side of his own right leg, his head falling down to where her breasts pillowed in a soft cushion, pushed up by the basque. "When I realised you could make me feel like nobody else…" She ran her hands through his hair and he looked up at her. "And you know something, Doug?"
"Mm?"
"I’ve never stopped feeling that way…"
A small smile crossed his face, almost ghostly in character. "I can’t believe you’re standing here in front of me like this…" he said after a long moment of silence. "I’ve never stopped wanting you since the moment I saw you… And now you’re my wife…" Carol smiled at his incredulous little statement. "And the mother of my children."
"Yeah,"
"Can you believe it?"
Carol chuckled, "I guess we’ve had a rough ride…" she whispered, cradling his face in her hands. "But it’s been a good one, and I don’t regret a thing." Lowering her face, she kissed him gently. "I liked your speech…"
Doug chuckled self-consciously. "Ah, it wasn’t what I wanted it to be…"
"Why? It told me just what you feel."
"I love you…"
"And I love you…" She smoothed his hair. "Show me you love me, Doug… Like you did that night before…" He grinned.
"Exactly like that night?" Carol matched his grin. "We don’t have a video camera…"
"Well, almost exactly then…" she chuckled.
He paused, looking at her closely. "Okay then, climb up on the bed… lie on your front…" Carol giggled as she slid onto the bed. He walked around to her right side, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. "Hands up above your head."
She did as he said, turning her head on the pillow so she could watch him taking off his clothes. Then he was on the bed, knelt beside her. "Turn your head away," he instructed. His fingertip, when it laid itself on the small of her back, was light as a feather, a sensation so subtle she could barely feel it. Slowly, he started to move it along her spine, bumping imperceptibly on the ridges of her vertebrae, till he reached the rigid edge of the basque. He traced along the outline, then, his touch skimming and smooth. Carol arched upwards, searching for fuller contact. "Stay still, sweetheart…" he murmured.
His fingers were at the snaps of the basque, teasing them open, then gently opening it out, like the chrysalis of a butterfly. The feel of cold air rushing over her skin made Carol tingle, and when his finger laid back on her spine, a shiver shot through her. "You like that, hmm?" he asked her and in response, she arched her back again. His finger was running again, tracing the hardness of her ribs, then up to the nape of her neck, teasing its way through the soft hair. He gathered the weight of her hair in his hand and moved it. "Turn over now…"
She responded immediately, her desire rising at his mere words. The basque fell away and exposed her chest. He moved down, between her legs, and started this time at her toes. His finger was moving agonisingly slowly, and Carol thought she was going to explode through every pore. He inched gently up her right leg, along the sensitive skin of her inner thigh, then tickling upwards over her core, Carol thought for a moment he was going to give her some relief, but just as quickly as he had laid his finger on her, he was gone, back down her other leg, playing slowly with the suspender strap, unclipping it from its belt. He did the same with the other strap, then started to pull away her panties, feeling heat radiating through them. He slid them down her legs, and over her feet, making her toes curl with impatience. "C’mere, Doug…" she moaned, reaching for his head. He moved away without a word, then the finger hovered above her lips, tracing their flushed red outline, down her jaw, to her breasts.
He circled her left nipple and as her body rose to meet his touch, he lingered, watching the hardening with wide, fascinated eyes. "Doug…" she murmured. He glanced up at her and saw her face beautiful with arousal, her lids heavy and half closed, her head lolling on the pillow. For a moment, the image captivated him, but then he resumed his tease, concentrating all his energies on another slow, soft progression.
Each progression brought her closer to orgasm, and she felt that the anticipation alone would send her over the edge. Suddenly, his touch vanished completely, and she opened her eyes, wondering what had happened. He was still beside her, and her gaze fell from his face to his erection. "You ready?" he asked, simply, and she nodded, holding out her arms for him.
He settled gently between her legs, then leaned forward and kissed her. Her mouth was hot and swollen already, and as he kissed her, he felt her warmth seep through him. She started to move underneath him, then gently pushed him onto his side, throwing one leg over his. He smiled at her, rocking slowly and unhurriedly. Her face was suffused with pleasure, and he that so too was his. "Open your eyes…" he said softly. "Look at me." Her eyelids fluttered open and she stared at him with those beautiful warm brown eyes. "Don’t look away now…"
As they held each other’s gaze, he pressed deeper, feeling her breasts pressing up against his chest, their hard nipples rubbing against him. "I want you to look in my eyes and know what it feels like…" She made no reply, she didn’t have to, for inside her, she could feel the pressure building, burning deep down. Hardly daring to blink, she stared at his eyes, feeling their endless magnetism pulling her in.
"Oh, Doug…" Her words came with a small, breathless gasp, and she came, holding him, begging him now to join her. He didn’t look away. For a moment, he was still, then he started to shake and from the darkness in his eyes as they fleetingly blinked, she knew exactly how he felt.
****
Juliet, when we made love you used to cry
I said I love you like the stars above
I love you till I die
There’s a place for us
In all the movie songs
When you gonna realise
It was just that the time was wrong, Juliet
****
He lay awake long after their final passions had been dimmed, unable to sleep. In the quiet of the early morning, he realised that he would never forget this white room. The wide, firm mattress beneath them, its expanse spread out behind him, unused as they rested close in each other’s arms. The heavy silk drapes blowing gently into the room, letting in a tingling, sharp breeze. How the old mechanism whistled lowly whenever that breeze changed direction.
He loved it all. How they now laid together in the shadows of the waning moon. How he could see the constellations peeping through the gap in the curtains. The tired creaking of the wooden bed beneath them, speaking to him of the thousands of lovers that had lain couched in its arms. The smoky dampness of the misty morning gardens beyond the window mixing intoxicatingly with the vague, sweet smell of her skin.
Most of all he loved the woman who slept on his arm as those sights and scents combined. She was peaceful, her face smooth, serene, faraway in dreams. The weight of her head, her thick, soft hair, lying full on his upper arm, and the thought of the tingle that it would bring when she woke.
He barely wanted to sleep, for fear of missing something, for fear of missing her. For years he’d found Carol most captivating in sleep, always thinking to himself that each night might be their last together, and wanting to savour every moment. Twisting slowly, so as not to wake her, he looked down at her face nestled in the crook of his elbow and smiled at the thought that he would never have to lie awake and think of losing her again. Now, he could lie awake and adore her.
****
‘How silver-sweet sound lovers’ tongues by night’
William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet -
****
Doug woke the following morning feeling relaxed and warm. The curtains in the room were pulled completely open and through the window, the crisp spring sun came streaming through. He blinked a few times, his eyes adjusting to the brightness of the light and then rolled over. Beside him, the bed was empty, and for a second, his heart leaped. Sitting up quickly, he noticed that the door to the adjoining bathroom was closed. "Carol?" he called softly. Beyond the door, a vaguely strangled voice replied back,
"Yeah?"
"You okay?"
"Not really…" she called back, and then he heard a few hurried bangs and crashes and then a retch.
"Carol…" He swung quickly out of the bed and went to the bathroom, pushing the door open. Inside, Carol was knelt in front of the toilet, holding her hair back with one hand, looking pale and distressed. "Hey, hey…" he said tenderly, kneeling down beside her and placing a hand on her back. "What’s wrong?"
"Oh, I don’t know," she moaned, sitting back on her heels and adjusting the belt of her bathrobe. "I just woke up with stomach-ache…" She sighed.
"Are you okay now?"
"I think so…" She turned to look at him. "Probably those prawns… they can be killers sometimes, can’t they?" He nodded.
"I ate the prawns, too," he said after a moment. She frowned at him.
"And you’re okay?"
"Yup…" He paused, studying her face. She was still looking pale and tired. "Did you eat anything that tasted bad? A dip? Or some of those salmon things…?" She shook her head.
"I don’t know… maybe…"
"Are you feeling better now you’ve been sick?" he asked. Carol leaned back on her heels again and ran a hand through her unruly curls, still holding some of the pins they’d fought to get rid of last night.
"Yeah, I am… but my stomach’s still doing somersaults…" She glanced up at him. "But I’m okay… really, I am…" He smiled.
"I woke up and thought you’d done my trick on me for a moment," he chuckled.
"Did you have a good night?"
"Mm-hmmm…" He gave her a lingering kiss. "You?"
"Yeah," she whispered, using his shoulder to stand up with. "It was great not to have to think about the girls…" She sighed. "But, I miss them already, and it’s only been one night…"
"So, I guess they’re coming on the honeymoon… when we decide where to go…" Carol grinned.
"Yeah, I guess they are… Think of it as our first family vacation…" she teased him, pulling him up with her and into her chest, rubbing his back with her hands. "You know, it’s something I wasn’t sure I’d ever have…" she said, thoughtfully.
"What?"
"A family," she explained. "A picture book family, like I used to talk about." He smiled expressive warmth at her.
"I’m glad we got married, Carol,"
She looked at him, so earnest and sweet and solemn and, as her mind flitted back to the apprehension of the morning before, knew that no matter what happened, she’d made the right decision. She’d married someone she couldn’t live without. "So am I," she said softly, and slung an arm around his back as they headed back to the bedroom. "So am I."
To be continued…
****
And a love-struck Romeo
Sings a streetsuss serenade
Laying everybody low
With a love song that he made
Finds a convenient street light
Steps out of the shade
Says something like
You and me babe, how about it?
How about it?
****