Disclaimer: As much as I pretend I do, I do not own any of these characters.

*Author’s note: This takes place about a year after the series pilot, on the Fourth of July. This is for all the people who support me, especially the Fab Five! Love you guys!

*A man lies in his bed in a room with no door. He waits, hoping for a presence, something - anything - to enter. After spending half his life searching he still felt as blank as the ceiling at which he stared. He is alive but feels absolutely nothing, so is he? When he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him; by nine he deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact, and no trade backs. So this is what it’s like to be an adult? If only he knew now what he knew then. I’m open, come in. “I’m Open” by Pearl Jam*

Joey stood at the counter of the S.S. Icehouse pouring drinks for table five. She was contemplating her pathetic existent, however, instead of paying attention to what she was doing. She and Dawson had broken up a week earlier, their relationship had never really worked from the beginning. Their friendship had pretty much fizzled out too, they were now just civil to each other when they were together. Movie nights and hours of analysis had become a silent nod and occasional hello.

Depressed, Joey had looked to Jen for comfort, and found none. Jen had her own problems, and didn’t want get in between Joey and Dawson. They had left her in the cold during her grandfather’s death, and that feeling of desolation had never really left.

It was the Fourth of July. Joey and Dawson’s favorite holiday. They used to row out into the middle of the creek and watch the fireworks. Then they’d camp out with his parents and roast marshmallows over a campfire. After a couple of years, Pacey started to join in the celebrations.

There was another person that Joey had alienated. He tried to talk to her after the break-up. But she only insulted him. Asked him why she should take advice from him. Laughed in his face. She wished she could take the past year back. Take it all back and just be fifteen and starting high school for the first time. Do it all over again, because this time she’d do it better.

Joey was not paying attention to what she was doing, and ended up spilling iced tea all over herself and the floor, “Damn,” she silently cursed. She grabbed a a handful of paper towels, and tried to clean up the mess.

“Debra?” she heard someone call. I have a big enough headache, she thought, I don’t need someone yelling and making it worse. The voice kept on, “Debra?”
She stopped cleaning up and looked out into the restaurant, “Look, mister,” she said, “Could you please -” Joey realized who she was yelling at. It was Anderson Crawford. She gasped.
“Debra! What are you doing here?” Anderson was shocked to find the beautiful girl he met at Capeside approximately one year ago behind the counter of that run down restaurant.
“Anderson! Um..., well..., you see,” Joey was at a loss for words. He looked terrific, even better than he had last year, if that was at all possible. Still a Gap ad, though, Joey thought to herself and laughed. Then she realized, I’m not Joey, I’m Debra Carson. What do I do?
“I can’t believe you’re here. Did you get a summer job here or something?”
“Uh, yeah. Yes. Exactly,” Joey came to her senses, “Mother decided to spend the summer in Capeside this year. I needed something to distract me from this miserable excuse for a town, and was offered a job here. I know it’s low, but what else could I do?”
“That’s not what I meant. I mean, it’s just a surprise to see you here. You never called or anything.”
“I know. Things got so busy with school and everything that I just didn’t get a chance, I’m sorry.”
“Well, it’s great to see you. I’m glad you work here.”
“Yeah?” Joey couldn’t believe that she was still keeping up this terrible charade.
“Yeah,” Anderson said and nodded his head a little. Then his eyes went right back to Joey’s face, “So, um, have plans tonight?”
“Well, you know, I do actually,” Joey couldn’t believe what she was saying. Plans? Not this week. Not for the past two weeks.
“Oh,” Anderson seemed dejected.
“Well, I could cancel them. I mean, I haven’t seen you in a nearly a year,” Joey jumped on the chance to go out with Anderson again.
“Great. Why don’t you come out to my boat? Same place as last year,” Anderson said this as he slowly walked backwards out of the restaurant.
“I get off around 10. We’ll see what happens,” Joey played it cool. She didn’t want him to think that she was too eager.

***

What am I doing? she thought to herself. I can’t keep this up. I’m not Debra Carson. I never was. I have to tell him the truth. But it felt so good to be going out again. And that was the first five minutes that she hadn’t thought about Dawson.

Dawson! her mind yelled. Why must I always bring him up? Why do I always think of him? Because you miss him, her heart told her.

Joey decided that tonight she was going to tell Anderson the truth. It was lies that tore her and Dawson apart, and she didn’t want the same thing to happen between Anderson and herself. Except that it probably already has, she thought.

***

Joey timidly stepped onto the dock near Anderson’s boat. She was nervous, but felt exhilarated at the same time. She was happy to be near Anderson again, but she knew what she had to do.

Anderson heard a noise and looked over. He saw Joey and smiled. She smiled too. “Welcome aboard,” he announced as he helped her onto the sailboat.
“Thanks,” she whispered, “Um, Anderson, uh, I need to -”
Anderson placed a finger over her lip, “Shh..” he said, “Sit down, the fireworks are about to begin.” Just as Anderson said that, a firecracker exploded over their heads. Joey looked up and smiled, remembering all her Fourth of July memories with... Dawson. No! Joey’s head screamed, tell him!
Joey and Anderson sat down next to each other and Joey looked directly into Anderson’s eyes. “Anderson, I really need to tell you something, so can you please just let me do it?”
Anderson was taken aback by Joey’s insistence, “Sure, Debra, go ahead.”
“First off, my name’s not Debra Carson. It’s Josephine Potter - Joey. I’m not from New York either. I’m from Capeside, across the creek actually. My sister owns that restaurant, I work there to help her out and make some extra money. And remember how I told you I wasn’t even close to being Cinderella? That was the only truthful thing that I told you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. It was stupid, I know that now, and I understand if you never want to see me again.” Joey’s body relaxed after she had finished her speech. Anderson sat there staring at the floor of the boat, not saying anything.

*Do I fuel my hunger deprive my dreams
Live my lonely worn out seam
Stitched weary and the scars they leave
I’m the only one deceived
Please stand clear of the blast
As I purge demons of my past
Don’t aspire to relieve
Do your worst and punish me
So I run fast I can
Die tomorrow half a man
Finish the story she said to me
I can’t sit here and watch you bleed
“Punish Me” by Edwin McCain [the man!]*

Joey felt tears start to trickle down her face. She started to stand up, but Anderson grabbed her arm and pulled her back down. “But, Anderson, I thought you wouldn’t want to see me after -”
Anderson interrupted Joey, “I’m not happy with the lying Deb - Joey, but I have to admit, I suspected that you weren’t really from New York. I think we should start this over again. Hello, I’m Anderson, Anderson Crawford,” he said as he held out his hand in Joey’s direction.
She placed her hand in his, “I’m Joey, Joey Potter.”
Anderson smiled, “Congratulations. Do me a favor, Joey, next time you feel the need to lie to me, please keep it to yourself, because I don’t think I could handle it again.”
“Okay, Anderson, deal. Can we just watch the fireworks now and pretend this never happened?”
“I’m sorry, Joey, but I can’t do that,” Joey’s face fell, “I don’t want to forget the wonderful day I had with Joey Potter a year ago.”
Joey brightened again and smiled as she stared into Anderson’s eyes. He leaned over and softly kissed her lips. As he did so, a barrage of fireworks lit up the sky. Joey never thought of her longing for Dawson again.

*Bottom of the ocean is where we met. I can almost smell the smells. In this circle of remembrance the sea has opened wide - Hold true, hold true, to the legend sent, sent forward for ourselves. Hold true, hold true to remembrance, the sea has opened wide. Bottom of the ocean I breathe... remembrance.
Don’t wait too long - We... belong, we belong in love right now - remembrance.
Swimming on a dolphin’s back laughin’ to breathe for myself, in this circle of remembrance, the sea has opened wide, hold true, hold true to the legend sent, sent forward for ourselves. Hold true, hold true to remembrance, the sea has opened wide - Bottom of the ocean is where we met. Bottom of the ocean I breathe... remembrance.
Don’t wait too long - we belong, we belong in love right now... down to you my lady floats down and we all get a little wiser. Down to you my lady floats down and we get a little wiser.
Down to you my lady floats down, floatin’ down, down on your crown, down to you my lady floats down, floatin’ down, down on your crown of remembrance... and swimming on a dolphin’s back, laughin; to breath for myself, Down to you my lady floats down and we all get a little wiser. My lady floats down, down on your crown, and we all get a little wiser. Floating down, down on your crown of remembrance.
“Circle of Remembrance” by Rusted Root*

Back to the Holidays Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page